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ALABAMA FINDS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT FOR TEACHERS TO HAVE SEX WITH STUDENTS, ROLL TIDE!

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Carrie Witt, who taught at Decatur High School, and David Solomon, a former aide at Falkville High, both got caught fucking students. They both got charged. But neither got convicted. That’s because in Alabama while it is illegal for teachers to have sex with students under the age of 19, it is not illegal for anyone else to have sex with a student over the age of 16. Unlike everybody else in Alabama, teachers who fuck kids who are 16, 17 or 18 (or 19), could be charged with a Class B felony, and face a punishment of up to 20 years behind bars. So Carrie and David said, this is unfair. They should be constitutionally protected in their right to fuck 16, 17 and 18 year-olds too. And goddamn if some fucking judge in Alabama didn’t buy it. Morgan County Circuit Judge Glenn Thompson dismissed the charges against Carried and David, agreeing with their lawyers that the law violates teachers’ equal protection right under the 14th Amendment, because it treats teachers and other school employees differently than other citizens. “The Court finds this statute unconstitutional as applied to these defendants,” said the judge. “In finding so, this court does not endeavor to absolve any wrongdoing or to excuse the defendants. Moreover, the court does not encourage any similarly situated party to engage with impunity in what may very well be criminal behavior.” Alabama, folks, Ala-fuckin’-bama.

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