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MARION COTILLARD FULLY NUDE FRONTAL FOR FRENCH FILM

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French actress Marion Cotillard, 41, stripped fully nude in French film “Les Fantômes d’Ismael,” which translates to Ismael’s Ghosts. The movie premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in May before its theatre release in Russia last month to mixed reviews. Marion plays Carlotta Bloom, the ex-wife of Ismaël Vuillard (played by co-star Mathieu Amalric), who vanished mysteriously 20 years ago, leading Ismael to spend 10 years searching for her before declaring her dead. In the scene, depicting her return, she stands in front her husband and pulls down her robe exposing herself fully nude for the camera. Speaking about the scene, Marion said: “Let’s imagine you’re with your wife, in bed or anywhere, like here and then all those people are watching … cameras, like 50 people are watching. Do you still find it sexy? But it’s a beautiful love scene.” Well, since we’re on the other side of the production, we definitely find it sexy. And we still think we would even with 50 people in the room. Apparently Marion’s never been to a strip club. She added, talking about doling the nude scene with her co-star, “We rehearse and had a very determined choreography, and then it allows you freedom. When you know exactly what your body will do, then you can act and you can be free to give the emotions and give the feelings because you won’t think, ‘What am I going to do next? Am I going to go on top of him?’ It’s an awkward situation… We laughed because you need to get it out because this is so weird. And so you get this time of looking at each other and saying: ‘OK, this is so weird.’ And then we go into this and then I’m going on top of you and then we are going to kiss.”







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GET DRUNK, GET NAKED IN PUBLIC, STUDY SAYS 1 IN 3 PEOPLE HAVE DONE IT (MOST WILL DO IT A FEW TIMES BEFORE THEY GO TO REHAB)

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Addiction.com did a survey, appropriately titled, “Bad and Boozy,” looking at the shit people get into when drunk. “There are a few primary indicators you can look for after a night out that might tell you if you’ve had too much to drink,” said authors of the study released Wednesday. “Some may be a bit more obvious than others. … If you wake up in jail, or with little memory of the events that may have transpired to get you there, it’s probably a safe bet that you had too much to drink,” authors added. Well, no shit. But they did crank out some interesting numbers. For example, 9% of the 2,000 survey subjects across the U.S. had been arrested while drunk. And 6% of subjects set fires, while 3% got a tattoo while under the influence. “We ran this study in the hopes that it will reach people that need help but don’t know where to turn,” a survey spokesman said.

The most interesting statistic for our purpose was that 39% of people have removed clothing in public while under the influence of alcohol. What else is there to say then, except, Pour it up, pour it up!

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ANA DE ARMAS’ TITS AND ASS FEATURE PROMINENTLY IN THE NEW PREVIEW OF BLADE RUNNER 2049

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The world just got a preview of Blade Runner 2049, and what stands out is how prominently actress Ana de Armas’s ass and tits feature into the preview. The 29-year-old Cuban isn’t all that busty or shapely, but she is just about all there is to talk about from the preview. Even with actors Harrison Ford, Jared Leto, and Ryan Gosling (well, who really gives a shit about Ryan Gosling), in the film, Ana de Armas is the best part of the preview, hands down.



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RUSSIAN REPORTER VALERIA BAVRILOVSKAYA DUBBED “WORLDS HOTTEST REPORTER”

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Valeria Gavrilovskaya, 29, reports crime on Russia’s International News Network, and her reports have become the most popular part of the broadcast, cause Valeria is damn hot (as far as Russians go). She posed for for Maxim Russia, who posted pictures from her recent spread on its Instagram page. They wrote: “Did you think that we would leave readers without a beautiful girl on a Friday night. … Valeria Gavrilovskaya, have a good Friday.” She is definitely giving Yanet Garcia and Sol Perez (the hot Hispanic weather girls making international news) a bit of competition.





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MILEY CYRUS NUDE FOR NEW BOOK

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Miley Cyrus appears is the star and cover model for David LaChapelle’s first publication in 10 years, the upcoming coffee table book Lost + Found. She appears on the cover as a glowing flower fairy, nude but covered in glitter. She wears a translucent, crystallized Swarovski bodysuit with enchanting wings, a curly blonde wig, and cotton-candy-tone fairy-appropriate makeup. The book is due out December 1, 2017 from publisher Taschen, and also features previously unreleased images from the celebrity photographer’s career with shots of stars including Amy Winehouse, David Bowie, Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, and others. And a sneak peak shot of Miley completely nude on the floor was recently released. If you haven’t seen Miley Cyrus naked (because you’re a Mole Person), then this is news. If like the rest of the world, you’ve seen Miley naked everywhere, then this is just more the same.

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AVERAGE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE IN THE UNITED STATES IS 12 MINUTES, AND OTHER TIBITS FROM NEW SURVEY

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Sex surveys haven’t been making much news lately. It isn’t too often that we find out something that we didn’t already know anyway, or couldn’t have guessed. But there were a few interesting tidbits from Lovely’s U.S. 2017 Sexual Satisfaction Study. Lovely is sex toy and tracking app for couples. They surveyed 432 couples about more than 2,000 sexual encounters, and found that sex typically lasted only 12 minutes for the average couple. So if you’re a one-minute man you are sorely lacking in the stamina department. Even 10-minute men are less than average. Lovely also broke the numbers down by state, and showed that Oklahoma was cumming up real short: only 6 minutes in the sack. And while other things in Texas may be bigger, sexual stamina is not one of them. In Texas, couples only lasted 8 minutes on average. Utah, Maine and North Carolina, on the other hand, topped the nation, with a whopping 19 minutes of hot fucking (well, maybe not so hot, which is why it took so long). You can check your state here. The study also produced an infographic for sexual satisfaction and favorite sexual position for each state. Surprisingly, Oklahomans were “completely satisfied.”





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PORNHUB ADVERTISING CORY CHASE PORN VIDEO LIKED BY TED CRUZ, USING TED CRUZ

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Texas Senator Ted Cruz liked porn star Cory Chase’s porn video, “Dick For Two”. Lying Ted said it was all a mistake. A staffer. Sure…. Whatever really happened, Pornhub, who owns Reality Kings, who produced the video, is wasting no time taking advantage of Ted’s now infamous like. You can now watch “Dick For Two” on Pornhub for free, which has been retitled “TED CRUZ DID NOTHING WRONG! – CORY CHASE LIKED BY TED CRUZ.” Pornhub vice president, Corey Price, said “Dick For Two” is “the fastest porn video to reach one million views.” And all thanks to Ted Cruz. At least he’s winning at something, even if it’s promoting porn.



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THE LEGENDS (LINGERIE) FOOTBALL LEAGUE IS HOLDING TRYOUTS IN TEXAS, LOOKING FOR LONGHORNS

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Chasity Morales is a wide receiver/safety for the Austin Acoustic in the Legends (Lingerie) Football League. She is spreading the word about league tryouts in Texas this month, posting on Facebook, “I constantly get asked about the league I play for whether it’s interest in the game or how one can play for the team well texas now is your chance! We will be holding state wide combines to find the best of the Best Texas has to offer
Think you have what it takes to play pro woman’s football? Then come out and prove it!!!!” Whether you have what it takes or not, we are all for a field full of women in skimpy bikinis playing football.





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DESHAUN WATSON AND PORN STAR MIA KHALIA PLAYING NERF BASKETBALL BEFORE HIS NFL START FOR THE HOUSTON TEXANS, LUCKY GUY

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Right before his NFL start on Thursday Night Football, Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson received a special message from his friend, former porn star Mia Khalifa. She posted a video of the two of them together playing nerf basketball, saying, “Happy birthday, @deshaunwatson! For the record, I let u block that dunk cause ur a rookie and I didn’t wanna risk hurting you before game 1”. Fans were quick to react. One said, “Deshaun ABORT ABORT this is a bad road you’re going down”. Another said, “Deshaun Watson is spending his bday with Mia Khalifa. Dont care what happens from here, he’s my favorite NFL QB ever”. And yet another wrote, “Not today Satan. Us @HoustonTexans fans have suffered enough”. The two best we think were, “A plot leading into a porn scene” and “Career ruined. She has a Kardishan similar type curse”. Take if from Lamar Odom, Deshaun… But on the other hand, Mia Khalifa might just be worth it.



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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED KEEPS POSTING HOT AS FUCK BIKINI PICTURES FROM LOCATIONS RAVAGED BY THE HURRICANES, AND PEOPLE ARE CALLING VERY POOR FORM

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On Tuesday, Sports Illustration Swimsuit Edition posted pictures on its Instagram page of the Brooklyn Nets cheerleaders posing in bikinis in the Caribbean — which was slammed by hurricane Irma last week. Days before that, the Swimsuit Edition Instagram page posted topless shots of model Myla Dalbesio by a pool in Houston, which is recovering from hurricane Harvey. A commenter called the series of shots “incredibly shameless and inappropriate given the devastation in Texas and the Caribbean.” Sports Illustrated declined to comment. To be fair, Sports Illustrated did repost U.S. Virgin Islands native and former Sports Illustrated cover star Hannah Jeter’s plea for the people in the Virgin Islands affected by the hurricane: “People in the Virgin Islands are running out of fuel, water and food. People are dying!!! People are lost!!!! We are an afterthought and are not getting the help that we need!!! . . . This is an emergency!!!!!”. Though, clearly, people in the Virgin Islands are an afterthought in part cause Sports Illustrated has them thinking about tits, tits, and more tits, and not much else.





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FARRAH ABRAHAM DROPPED HER MASTURBATION WEBCAM LAST NIGHT

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As promised, Farrah Abraham plastered her rejuvenated pussy all over CamSoda.com, in a masturbation webcam. We didn’t watch. But the pictures from her performance are hitting the Internet hard. She played with a Hitachi vibrator and what appeared to be a Flashlight, which pretty much guarantees that she’ll be releasing her fresh pussy mold for Flashlight soon. Since we didn’t watch, we can’t tell you much about the show, apart from what we gleaned from the pictures. But from what we gleaned it looked like Farrah put her pussy into it. We might just watch the next one.

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BACKDOOR TEEN MOM FARRAH ABRAHAM RETURNS TO PORN, DOING NUDE WEBCAM FOR CAMSODA

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After expressing regret over having her ass penetrated (twice) by porn star James Dean for a “personal sex tape,” that was distributed through one of porn’s major video distributors, and for appearing at the AVN Porn Awards where she was nominated for her performance, backdoor teen mom Farrah Abraham is now back in the saddle, doing porn again. Well, not exactly, she is only nude webcamming for CamSoda.com. She will premiere on the site Wednesday evening at 9PM EST, but it is unclear whether she will have a regular schedule or this is one of those “personal webcams” that she intended to keep private, but broadcast to the whole world. Now that she had her vagina “rejuvenated” back in August, this might be a show worth watching.



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REPUBLICAN TED CRUZ LIKED A PORN STAR COREY CHASE POST ON TWITTER, SHE WANTS HIM TO SHOW LOVE AND SUPPORT HER ON CLIPS4SALE

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Texas Republican U.S. Senator Ted Cruz liked a tweet featuring a video of porn star Cory Chase last night. Now Clips4Sale is offering Ted Cruz some help to access more Cory Chase porn. “Ted, we’re here to help,” said Clips4Sale’s owner Neil. “You can buy her clips in our stores and no one will know. All shopping is anonymous. I spoke with Cory this morning and she’s glad you like her and hopes you will buy her exclusive content in her Jerky Wives store. Clips4Sale is the #1 downloadable clips site and we want you to check it out.” The original tweet came from @SexuallPosts. Now it has changed its Twitter bio to read: “Follow the same porn that @TedCruz watches.” But as always happens, Lying Ted has disassociated himself from his porn tastes. His spokeswoman, Catherine Frazier tweeted, “The offensive tweet posted on @tedcruz account earlier has been removed by staff and reported to Twitter.” Stop lying Ted, you like the porn.

Cory Chase also issued her own statement. “You can imagine my surprise when I found out what all the buzz was about,” she said. “As a porn star you are used to a certain level of attention and social media activity, but [since] Senator Cruz took the time to endorse my work, you can imagine the new level of interest in me that created.” She added, “Regardless if it was his staff or the senator himself letting his freak out at night, I encourage him to continue watching porn and paying for porn, my porn specifically.”



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BEEFREEATLAST2017 IS NAKED WOMEN IN NATURE, WHICH AIN’T NEW BUT WE LIKE IT STILL

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There are plenty of Instagram pages posting naked pictures to encourage nudity and nature. Naked in Nature, Naked in Australia and Naked up High, just to name a few. There is a new group, befreeatlast2017, mostly women posting nudes in nature, with over 35,000 followers. The message to users is simple: “Love the skin your in. … Fun outdoor nudity. Natural naturism. Free expression worldwide”. And it has taken off, with more than 100 images of girls in the great outdoors. The pictures feature the women nude with their back turned or strategically positioned to avoid showing too much. Most of the pictures are solo women, with some couples or groups nude. The group received a bit too much attention recently, and decided to go private. We are sorry to see them go, but secured a few of their pictures for a proper send off…

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MODEL MARISA PAPEN TALKS ABOUT GETTING ARRESTED IN EGYPT FOR POSING NUDE AT THE PYRAMIDS

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Not all countries have a liberal attitude toward nudity, especially nudity in public. Most of them are centered in the Middle East. Belgian nude model Marisa Papen, however, makes a habit of traveling the world and posing nude, including in the Middle East. She went to Egypt to pose nude at the pyramids and other sites. And of course, she got arrested. She posted a lengthy blog on her experience, with her pictures on her website here. “The last two years I have walked wild and free in at least 50 countries. Rarely do I end up in precarious situations. Until April this year in Egypt,” Marisa said. At the pyramids, they bribed a security guard and shot nudes, before two men approached them. “I was suddenly completely awake, like a cold shower at 5 a.m. in the morning. We tried to explain to them that we were making art with the highest respect for Egyptian culture, but they could not see a connection between nudity and art,” she said. “In their eyes it was porn, or something like that.” Marisa and her photographer were able to bride the two officials with $20 (though, probably should have paid more) and continued shooting. While they were able to go to another site, they were busted at the Karnak temple complex. “Without being able to share words, I made it clear to Jesse that he had to delete the images if he saw the tiniest opportunity. Otherwise we would be screwed — big time,” she said. While she tried to claim they hadn’t shot pictures, only tested the light, Marisa and her photographer got thrown in jail and strip searched (lucky officers). But the officers couldn’t find anything, because they had deleted the pictures. But the officers still detained them. “The first cell we encountered was packed with at least 20 men. Some were passed out on the floor, some were squeezing their hands through the rails, some were bleeding and yelling,” Marisa said.

To make a long story short(er), after a few hours in jail they appeared before a final judge. “After being stuck there for several hours we finally got some more news, we had to go to court one last time to see what the final consequences would be. As soon as we entered ‘court-room’, our lawyer was waiting for us. I told him to move out of the way because probably the only thing he wanted was money and I wanted to speak for myself. We kept playing the role of stupid tourists that had no idea dancing in skin-colored underwear (we had to change up the story a little bit because otherwise we probably would have never gotten out) on Egyptian ground wasn’t allowed. Our judge was browsing with his big thumbs through these books that looked as old as the pyramids did. Eventually, he gave us a warning and told us never to do something so foolishly shameful ever again. We nodded simultaneously.” Marisa recovered the deleted pictures from the SIM card on the camera, and from the pictures, it looks like it was all worth it.

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CUBS CATCHER WILLSON CONTRERAS PUNKED BY PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA, WHO REVEALED HOW SHE REJECTED HIM WHEN HE HIT HER UP IN THE DM

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Chicago Cubs catcher Willson Contreras tried to fuck former porn star Mia Khalifa. And like others who have tried, he got publicly humiliated. Mia posted his attempts to hit her up in the DM, and her single-word rejection. The messages begin on August 4, with Willson writing: “Hi how are you?” He tries again with “I’m sure you get this a lot but I’m a big fan of you,” and then, “It will be great if you just say hi.” Mia responds with a one-word message – “Bye.” But Willson keeps trying, sending her messages over the next month. Mia posted the screenshots with the message, “Cubbies, your man’s is wandering around left field. Can you come get him? @Cubs”. Octagon Baseball, the agency that represents Willson, claimed that his “twitter account was hacked” — for a month. Willson needs to step up his porn star DM game and his denial game. “It wasn’t me” just ain’t cutting it these days.



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