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KIM KARDASHIAN BEACH BODY NOT EXACTLY UP TO KARDASHIAN STANDARDS, BUT STILL NEWSWORTHY

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Kim Kardashian set social standards of beauty and sex appeal. But ironically, as she ages, now 36, Kim is measured against her own standards, and of course she is not the Kim of 10 years ago. But even the aging Kim is something to talk about. New pictures of Kim in Malibu prove that. While maybe not as firm as before, Kim’s still got assets.

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ANA BRAGA TWO-SIZES TOO SMALL BIKINI IS TIGHT

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At 35, Brazilian model Ana Braga isn’t what she used to be. But when what you used to be was extremely fucking sexy, not being exactly that is still something. And Ana is still making headlines for her two-sizes too small bikini wear on the beach, this time around in in Malibu. Some noted cameltoe, but they were obviously looking much harder than we were.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED KEEPS POSTING HOT AS FUCK BIKINI PICTURES FROM LOCATIONS RAVAGED BY THE HURRICANES, AND PEOPLE ARE CALLING VERY POOR FORM

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On Tuesday, Sports Illustration Swimsuit Edition posted pictures on its Instagram page of the Brooklyn Nets cheerleaders posing in bikinis in the Caribbean — which was slammed by hurricane Irma last week. Days before that, the Swimsuit Edition Instagram page posted topless shots of model Myla Dalbesio by a pool in Houston, which is recovering from hurricane Harvey. A commenter called the series of shots “incredibly shameless and inappropriate given the devastation in Texas and the Caribbean.” Sports Illustrated declined to comment. To be fair, Sports Illustrated did repost U.S. Virgin Islands native and former Sports Illustrated cover star Hannah Jeter’s plea for the people in the Virgin Islands affected by the hurricane: “People in the Virgin Islands are running out of fuel, water and food. People are dying!!! People are lost!!!! We are an afterthought and are not getting the help that we need!!! . . . This is an emergency!!!!!”. Though, clearly, people in the Virgin Islands are an afterthought in part cause Sports Illustrated has them thinking about tits, tits, and more tits, and not much else.





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SPEAKING OF PREGGO NUDES…BEHATI PRINSLOO’S DOING IT TOO

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South African-Namibian model Behati Prinsloo, 28, is pregnant. That’s not exactly news. She’s been pregnant for a while, and this is her second time around. But recently, she’s been sharing pictures. For the life of us, we don’t know where this picture is from, but it has started circulating the Blogosphere. And since naked and pregnant seems to be the thing to do, and for you preggo lovers, here’s Behati naked in the pool. We suspect this is from her first time around.



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KARINA IRBY BUSTS THE BOOTY BUBBLE, REVEALING QUICK PHOTOSHOP SECRETS AND WHAT A NATURAL BIG BOOTY REALLY LOOKS LIKE

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27-year-old Karina Irby is promoting body positivity (which seems to be spreading like the flu) and calling bullshit on hot social media booty pics. We’ll let her explain, from her recent Instagram post: “LETS PLAY A GAME? It’s called REALITY VS INSTAGRAM Every morning I wake up and scroll though my personal Instagram feed and spy ‘Insta Girls’ posting unrealistic images of themselves. The girls I follow that portray these images have big followings, often with hundreds of thousands of young girls looking up to them as a role models. As I scroll though the comments I find young girls tagging their friends ‘GOALS’ and ‘OMG WHY DONT I LOOK LIKE THIS” The truth is these girls don’t looks like this. They look like you, like everyone. I have gone ahead and copied the classic ‘Insta Girl Edit’ in my second image and listed below is what I have done to it Full body skin smooth Enlarged my booty Sucked in my tummy Sucked in my back Thinned out my arms Thinned out my quads Made my neck a tad skinnier Got ride of my scars and cellulite Made my breast rounder Lifted my booty After all these little tweaks, can you notice how my horizon is warped? So many girls are so into how their Insta image is going to be portrayed that they don’t even notice they have warped the background!? Ladies, I’m not here to play mean girl towards others. I simply want to #inspire you to love yourself and stop comparing yourselves to unrealistic images online. Look out for the signs of the ‘Insta Girl Edit’ and don’t take social media too seriously. Let’s get real”. We prefer to live in the dream world.



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DEMI ROSE MAWBY IS OUR TUESDAY DELIVERANCE

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The international infatuation with British model Demi Rose Mawby we do understand. In fact, we damn near could support a shrine, service, a whole religion in her name. Well, in the name of her body. Take a mundane Tuesday after a holiday weekend, and interject Demi. And we are delivered. It’s almost righteous.



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PHOTOSHOP SHAMING KELLY BROOK, DID SHE OR DIDN’T SHE?

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27-year-old model Kelly Brook posted a picture of her ass on her Instagram page, with a peach emoji. It was something Kelly hadn’t done in a while, but nothing all that exceptional, except…..except that everyone is claiming that Kelly photoshopped the picture to make her waist look a lot thinner (and by comparison her ass a lot bigger). One user commented, “How is your waist half the size it is in all the other pictures?” “You should kill your photoshop designer @iamkb. Horrible,” said another. Kelly responded on Twitter, saying, “No photoshop! I have been Juicing and Detoxing dropping 3-4KG Feeling Amazing and am proud of my Body”. We don’t yet buy it. Juicing and Detoxing don’t give you a waist like that and an ass like that.

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BRTINEY SPEARS IS LOOKING TIGHT

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Britney Spears is looking awfully like Jessica Simpson these days. For a moment you might have thought that was an insult to Britney, because she is so much younger, which is what you associate with Britney, that young-not-so-innocent-high-school-fuck-toy. But in fact, Jessica is 37 and Britney is 35. And soon both will start to look like Madonna. Checking out both this morning, the only differences we could tell was that Jessica has obviously bigger tits. Jessica is a 32DD, while Britney is only a 32C (a healthy size still). And that Britney, while looking more and more like Jessica, is getting fit as fuck, while Jessica is enjoying being MILF. Britney recently posted a picture of her abs, and we had a “damn!” moment. It lasted a long time, like “daaaaaaaamn!” Only to realize that is how Madonna started too. Now she’ll all arms. But for the moment…

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JOJO BABIE DROPS SERIOUS UNDERBOOD AND LIFE INSPIRATION

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JoJo Babie’s feeding her 7.1 million Instagram followers underboob, booty and inspiration for breakfast. She dropped a serious underboob bikini shot, saying, “Be your own leader, be your own self, step out of the shadows and be your own sunshine.” In another she added, “Let whoever think whatever..focus on you and keep getting better.” The underboob was inspiration enough.



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CASEY BATCHELOR’S MS. POOL BOOTY

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You are more likely used to seeing British glamour model Casey Batchelor, 32, topless. And why not? Her 34GG breasts are near legendary. She is a yoga instructor now, after an intensive 3-week course, and changed her life. “I went vegan and stopped drinking,” she said. I used to be a party girl but I barely touch alcohol now. I feel like I’ve been reborn. Meditation has changed my life, I don’t get stressed any more.” We were concerned about this new life direction, until Casey added, “My boyfriend loves it when I do yoga in a crop top and tiny shorts.” She was spotted in Spain (where she did her yoga training), showing off her ass in a bikini by the pool. So, not really much has changed.

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ASHLEY GRAHAM ACKNOWLEDGES “WHITE PRIVILEGE” IS THE REASON THE WORLD EMBRACED HER FAT ASS, AND NOT BLACK OR LATINA WOMEN

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Ashley Graham is THE plus-sized model. She’s been on the cover of Sports Illustrated. No fat girl has done that, ever. And that’s what Ashley was talking about recently when she did an interview with New York magazine. It is not surprising even to Ashley that the first big girl to get the cover, in this new environment of every-body is sexy, was white. Ashley said, “I know I’m on this pedestal because of white privilege. To not see black or Latina women as famous in my industry is crazy! I have to talk about it.” Ashley mentioned lesser-known models like Marquita Pring and Precious Lee as evidence of “white privilege.” “I want to give those women kudos because they are the ones who paved the way for me,” she said. Maybe that’s true, and maybe it was just Ashley. But now that the door is open, big girls are stampeding through.

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FARRAH AND FRENCHIE TOGETHER AGAIN

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Porn stars Farrah Abraham, 26, and Angelique “Frenchie” Morgan, 41, teamed up again to make a spectacle of themselves in Las Vegas. Don’t get us wrong, we love the “Back Door Teen Mom.” And Frenchie too. And together, there is just more to love. That said, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, and we are borderline on calling this one, too much of a good thing.

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BIANCA GASCOIGNE AND DEMI ROSE MAWBY BIKINI PICTURE, LIKE THE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY OF BIG BOOTY, BIG TITTY INSTAGRAM MODELS

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Bianca Gascoigne and Demi Rose Mawby teamed up to take an epic big-titty, big-booty model picture at the Bikini Beach Club in Cape Verde. Bianca posted it on her Instagram page, saying, “How freakin hot is this one thou @demirosemawby outfit by @mermaids_x @bikinibeachcv”. It was just a straight, standing shot of the dynamic duo, not like a bending over ass out kind of shot that we would have drooled over for days. But it was still freakin hot, like Bianca said. We hope with more to come.

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SECRET SOCIETY OF THE HEIDI KLUM-INATI

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There is no doubt that Heidi Klum, 44, ages, but Goddamn if she don’t do it well. We’d give our collective right nut to know her secret, so we could bottle it and sell it to Pamela Anderson, who really needs it about now. Perhaps the secret is in Bergisch Gladbach, Germany, where Heidi was born. Maybe in the water. Like the opposite of the kind they have in Flint, Michigan. We think she’s part of a secret society of models, including Christie Brinkley, who is 60 but looks 30. Like a Klum-inati (instead of Illuminati, go read a book, seriously).

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KATE MOSS SIDE-TITS IN ITALY

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For as much as we’ve seen Kate Moss’s tits, a little side-tit action adjusting her bikini top while on vacation in Italy wouldn’t seem like much. But that’s cause you just aren’t appreciating the power of Kate Moss’s tits. When a pair like that get seared into the world’s conscience, it is hard to let go. It’s like eating a hot dog at a baseball game. Yeah, you’ve done it before, but that’s what you do. We have collectively been conditioned to look at Kate Moss’s tits whenever they are on display. And even at 43, it ain’t a bad look.

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EVA LONGORIA UPSKIRT, TECHNICALLY UPSHIRT

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Eva Longoria, 42, the former Desparate Housewives star continues to stay in rotation. We understand. She was a young sex symbol and has so far aged well. And she continues to draw attention. This time in Miami, when she bent over to climb across the beach towel on her chair, she give a full upskirt view of her ass. And that doesn’t exactly come every day. Moment seized.

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