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EMILY RATAJKWOSKI BLAMES HER TITS FOR NOT GETTING WORK, NOT THE FACT THAT SHE HAS NO OTHER TALENT

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Look, we gotta call this one straight. Emily Ratajkowski is basically a set of big tits and a hard to pronounce Eastern European sounding last name. Mostly, just the tits. In fact there would be no Emily Ratajkwoski without the tits. She is tits. That’s all she is. And the sad fact is that ain’t gonna change. Accept it, tits. Emily got famous because of her tits. And frankly, she doesn’t have much in the way of other talent. Like Kate Upton. But somehow, Emily sees her tits as a drawback. We are fucking astounded. In a recent interview for Harper’s Bazaar Australia’s July issue, Emily said, “There’s this thing that happens to me: ‘Oh, she’s too sexy.’ It’s like an anti-woman thing, that people don’t want to work with me because my boobs are too big. What’s wrong with boobs? They’re a beautiful feminine thing that needs to be celebrated. Like, who cares? They are great big, they are great small. Why should that be an issue?” In a similar vein, last year, Emily said, “If you’re a sexy actress it’s hard to get serious roles. You get offered the same thing that they’ve seen you in,” in Es magazine in May 2016. Maybe big tits and big tits celebrity-dom make you blind to the fact that you have no talent but big tits. Let’s be real. Emily’s no Meryl Streep. She’s not even Lindsay Lohan. Emily won’t be winning any Academy Awards no matter what roles she’s given. We all love Emily for only one thing: her tits. And love her we do. But stay in your lane, kid.

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