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“MAKE PORN GREAT AGAIN,” XHAMSTER AUDITIONS DONALD TRUMP PORN STARS

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And then there were three. Donald Trump has inspired many things in his few short weeks as President of the United States, including a resurgence of Trump porn. xHamster is riding the wave of that resurgence and plans to ride it for the next four years, with an open casting call for Donald Trump porn star impersonators for a series of Donald Trump parody porn. They’ve been hunting for candidates with “unique hair,” “small hands” and “the ability to make incredible deals, and bring the HUGE-ness (or ‘YUGE’ in the parlance of Trump) of the president-elect to the small screens and tablets of our consumers” since November, receiving “many” submissions, which have been narrowed down to three. Their video auditions have been posted onto xHamster’s YouTube channel. And now xHamster users are being asked to vote for their favorite of the final three, the winner to be announced during the first 100 days of Trump ‘s presidency. The candidates sure do have the president down. One said in his video, “I’m here to tell you that I don’t lose. Okay, I’m not gonna lose.” And then asks, “Is this the face of a loser,” while holding a Hilary Clinton doll. Another said, “Yeah, we’re going out tonight”, pointing towards a Melania Trump doppelganger, “I’m gonna be with this pig, horrible woman, but we’re gonna do our best!”

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xHamster spokesperson Alex Hawkins said, “The Trump transition has been turbulent for all of us. We apologise for the delay in getting out this request. There is nothing more that the American public needs that quality adult content parodies to help them understand that ever shifting landscape of their Executive Branch of government.” About the final choice, xHamster said, “this performer would need to be in the ‘best health of any actor to do porn’, to have even more in common with the President-elect, whose own physician said that Trump is the ‘healthiest person to run for President in history.’ The ability to harness both Trump’s complete understanding of all issues without any actual knowledge of an issue, is also an optional trait.” xHamster is also casting a Trump cabinet, Trump family, and Trump Supreme Court nominations. The winner of the Donald Trump casting gets his own Twitter handle, @TheRealxHDonaldTrump. So who will it be?







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