Pornhub is helping you “cover up your goodies,” while still being able to post those nude pictures you just can’t resist sharing on social media. It is introducing TrickPics, “the world’s first augmented reality filters for your naught bits.” Basically what that means is that you upload your pictures to the app, apply a filter that covers your nipples, pussy, dick, asshole, etc. (according to Pornhub, “your northern regions or south of the border”), and then it saves to your phone, not to the app. And then share until your heart is content.
App, Naked, Nude, Pictures, PornHub, Selfies, Social Media, TrickPics, Video
You can’t exaggerate anymore. Well, you can, but you might just get your shit checked. There is a new smart condom on the market that tracks everything, from performance, to supposedly even the presence of sexually transmitted disease. The i.Con claims to be the “World’s First Smart Condom.” “Welcome to the future of wearable technology in the bedroom,” said manufacturer British Condoms. It is a ring that men can wear with a condom during sex to track their stats. The company is taking “early bird” registrations, but the product is actually not yet available. It is selling pre-order for about $75, with an anticipated released sometime in 2017. The i.Con tracks speed, “average thrust velocity,” duration, skin temperature, girth, calories burned and frequency of sessions. It also gives performance measures, showing the average and “best” performers, tracked through an i.Con app. British Condoms also said that, “all data will be kept anonymous, but users will have the option to share their recent data with friends, or, indeed the world.” So all that bullshit is about it come to an end.
(What do the extra pictures below have to do with the i.Con? Well, motivation of course. Though, for stats purposes, they may be counterproductive. We add them nonetheless.)
App, Condom, i.Con, Sex, Tracking
With its upcoming IPO, Snapchat is cleaning up it act. Sort of. It is cleaning up Snapchat Discover, the news publishing piece of the app. It is putting new restrictions on publishers to make it a more family friendly environment. So, according to Snapchat, “nudity, pornographic imagery and other indecent, obscene or profane content” will be off-limits unless publishers use an “age-gate” for inappropriate photos, videos and text. Don’t worry, so far, pictures on individual Snapchat accounts are safe, and open for as much nudity and pornography as users are willing to post and you can handle. But as Snapchat moves to more family friendly ground, it is not clear how long that will remain. However would we make it through the day?
App, Discover, Family Friendly, Naked, Nudity, Policy, Publishers, Snapchat
We will give the app Mobile Strike a lot of credit for its new commercial, “Oval Office Breach,” featuring Olivia Jensen, Tabria Majors, Emilee Peer, Erin Grady and Ayesha Perry-Iqbal. You quickly catch the theme. The girls are all thick, curvy and hot as fuck. They are definitely not the traditional bikini model you expect to see. And damn if all that thickness may be too much for one man to handle. But damn, it’s different.
App, Ayesha Perry-Iqbal, Curvy, Emilee Peer, Erin Grady, Mobile Strike, Olivia Jensen, Plus Sized Models, Tabria Majors, Thick, Thickness, Video
FindFace is a facial recognition app that is currently only limited to Russian social media websites, mainly VK.com (Russian’s Facebook), but works like this: upload a picture, and FindFace will search social networks to identify the person in the pictures. It started catching after a story in St. Petersburg about a photographer who talked about how he was able to track down models he photographed but couldn’t find to deliver promised pictures. Harmless enough. But after that, it turned. Users started using FindFace to track down porn stars and prostitutes to find their real names and social media pages, and harass their family and friends — some of whom didn’t know the person had done porn or prostitution. The trolls claimed they were acting out of a sense of “moral outrage” against pornographic material, but it’s basic online stalking. In an interview with TJournal the founder of the service, Maxim Perlin, said there was nothing the company could do to prevent women from getting harassed in such a fashion but said the company was “making every effort to protect all Vkontakte users from potential malicious acts”.
It is only a matter of time before it hits the United States. We’ll see how this plays out.
App, Escorts, Facial Recognition, FindFace, Porn Stars, Prostitutes, Social Media, Social Networks
Smartphones are getting smarter by the minute. And in this minute, you can now fuck your smartphone with IZIVIBE, “the world’s first sex toy which uses the vibrations of your smartphone!” It’s made of 100% medical-grade silicone, and advertises itself as “silky-smooth, hypoallergenic and phthalate-free.” While you might think this is a product placement, we just think this is fucking hilarious. It gets better. It has 7 vibration modes, and you can control volume and slider to adjust intensity easily, and (imagine a blonde QVC MILF here) “launch a mode for free-hand experience!” If you haven’t found this fucking gut busting, shit your pants ridiculous, then let us show you the picture:
App, Dildo, IZIVIBE, Smartphone
Johns across the world are reveling with glee. Hoorah! Hooray! An app to find your nearest hooker is here today! It’s called “Ohala.” But it’s not for sex, it’s for “paid dates.” That’s how app creator Pia Poppenreiter thinks she’ll avoid prostitution laws, and still promote herself as the digital madam. Good luck, Pia. Here’s how the “paid dates” app works. “Profiles” are private. A guy enters in his preferences, what kind of girl he wants and how much he is willing to pay her for a “date” (sex). Prostitutes, we mean “dates,” will then respond and the John can have a more detailed chat session with those who answer his “date” ad. They talk about their favorite color, embarrassing moments, and whether he wants his dick sucked or to go Greek on her ass for $200/hour. You know, normal date stuff. Pia says it’s all good, cause it’s just a “date.” “Whatever those two people want to do — may it be to give company at a dinner or end up in bed together — is a private matter and should be agreed upon in the chat before meeting,” says Pia. “It’s simple: We match people for paid dates immediately. It actually solves problems in this marketplace, that dating sites and most escort sites don’t solve: We match expectations, on-demand.” It’s out in Berlin, with an English roll out coming soon.
App, Escorts, Ohlala, Phone, Pia Poppenreiter, Prostitution
There’s a new iPhone app, Condom Size. It provides an accurate measurement of both the length and girth of your penis to determine which condom is right for you. After entering correct length and girth measurements, the app recommends a condom and tells you your “world ranking”. You can view a chart of different condoms, read tips and fun facts. But the creators are not medical professionals, and there is a disclaimer that it is for entertainment purposes only.
To get the correct measurements, a user must hold his erect penis up against the edge of the iPhone and use the inch or centimeter markings to obtain an accurate assessment. One person aptly remarked, “I am never borrowing anyone else’s iPhone again.” Not a bad idea…