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JLO CAMELTOE IS OUR FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE WEEKEND

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Jennifer Lopez is only a few years off of 50, she’s 47, but still somehow news. Younger starlets and models may try, but still few have drawn as much attention as Jennifer for their ass. Jenny did make it a trend. While speculation swirls about JLO and Drake, and why the fuck Drake would be interested, Jennifer was recently out and about shopping in Beverly Hills. And surprisingly her ass was not the center of the story. JLo wore yoga pants and we all got a super dose of JLo cameltoe. And big ass booty too. We end this weekend on this high note, JLo cameltoe, which will keep us amused all weekend. We have simple needs.

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DROP $13 GRAND AND ADD 2-3 INCHES TO YOUR DICK, SOUNDS FAIR

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You can now super-size your dick to L, XL or XXL, cause as the doctor who invented the implant, “Nobody wants a small.” Beverly Hills urologist James Elist, M.D. invented the Penuma, the male penile enhancement implant. “So we don’t have a small, we don’t have a medium. We start from large.” Dr. Elist is the only doctor authorized to perform the implant procedure, and he has inserted about 1,300 of his implants in men from all over America and from other countries around the world. His procedure cost about $13,000 and has a 95% success rate, according to a five-year clinical study Dr. Elist commissioned and presented at an industry conference. Here are some testimonials, from GQ reporter Amy Wallace:

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Another guy, a 43-year-old mechanic from Arizona, told me he got an XL Penuma inserted two years ago because “I realized, well, nothing about me is average or normal, and I didn’t want my sexuality to be average or normal anymore.” After the surgery, he said, his boners increased from six and a half inches to eight and a half inches, and the Penuma “gave me this crazy amount of stamina. Like, I can go for two hours. And I have more control over my orgasms. I mean, I can be going like a Mack truck and still hold back.”

And then there’s the 43-year-old plumber from Northern California whose six-inches-plus, his wife says, “had never been an issue for me.” And yet her husband was convinced that he wasn’t satisfying her: “I didn’t feel like I was doing my job like I was supposed to.” This feeling of inadequacy led to bouts of erectile dysfunction that tormented him until he was fitted last July with an XL Penuma. Now the plumber and his wife get busy four or five times a week.

“He’s been a sexual maniac,” the wife told me. “He has erections all day long every day now. We haven’t had this much sex since when we first got together.” And that was 20 years ago. Getting the Penuma, the plumber said, “basically saved our marriage. I wish I had done it sooner.”



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IS IT US OR IS KIM KARDASHIAN’S ASS GETTING LARGER?

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Kim Kardashian is a goddess, there is no dispute that we love her and look forward to every new antic and paparazzi flash she provides. And of course, we love her because of her curves, and her incredible assets. In taking a recent look, however, we are convinced that Kim’s ass is at least a few cup sizes larger. She was in Beverly Hills, just being Kim, and the view from behind seemed much more omnipresent.

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