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SIMONE REED, ALL TITS, NO BALANCE

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Simone Reed is a British model and reality television fail, appearing on Big Brother and not amounting to much. Fame is fleeting. The loss of it causes people to do strange things to get it back, especially, it seems in the U.K., where the standard publicity routine is the drunken after club walk, most of the times followed by a fall. That was Simone’s recent attempt. She was wearing a see through dress, top and panties, and took a serious digger into the pavement, pussy flopping around as she tried to regain her balance. It was a shit show. But it was entertainment.

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CHANELLE MCCLEARY GAGS ON A BANANA COCK IN A CONDOM DEMONSTRATION CLIP

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Big Brother dropped an education clip of the show featuring Chanelle McClearly showing Isabelle Warburton how to put a condom on a penis, using a banana in lieu of an actual penis. It is amusing but tame. We were about to pass until Chanelle gagged on the banana cock while trying to deep throat it to put the condom on. It made up from 2 minutes that really didn’t go anywhere. It was the climax if you will. It starts off with some banter that makes you think it will be good, with Chanelle saying, “Sexual intercourse can come in many different forms. But ideally, the penis will enter the vagina.” Ideally, of course. But that really depends on who you ask, cause some girls like for the penis to enter the anus too. Chanelle continues, “Penises come in all different sizes. It could be little or big.” The banana was pretty big, which is why she gagged when taking it down. As we said, we were amused, briefly.

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JASMINE WALTZ NIPPLES TO HOLLYWOOD

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You’ve probably caught a glimpse of actress Jasmine Waltz, 34, a number of times, and never really known. She was Smoking Girl #3 in Paris Hilton’s flop Pledge This!. She was also Video Store Customer in Bad Boys II. Jasmine is best known though for her appearance in Big Brother. So in today’s estimation, she’s a celebrity, if only a reality celebrity. As reality celebrities often do, Jasmine was out creating some publicity for herself, showing her breasts in an all-too-often-used “nip slip” wardrobe malfunction while she walked in front of the paparazzi during a night out at Catch restaurant in West Hollywood. Oh Jasmine…

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SOPHIE READE IS GRACING THE COVER OF ZOO

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Britain’s reality television star turn glamour model Sophie Reade is topless in Zoo magazine and it is hard to resist. She is busty, and we mean extremely busty. That sort of thing makes us pay attention, particularly for an attractive faux celebrity like Sophie. She’s like a blonde British Kim Kardashian, and we doubt Kim is as curvy on top as Sophie. Just take a quick look, if there is such a thing when it comes to a topless spread.

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