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BLOWJOB SCENES SEE A RISE IN POPULARITY, AND NO SURPRISE, PORN STAR LISA ANN TOPS EVERY BLOWJOB METRIC

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Who has the most searched “blowjob” scenes? Lisa Ann. Who has the most viewed blowjob scenes? Lisa Ann. And who has the most blowjob scenes? Lisa Ann. That’s according to RedTube, and no surprise to anyone. Redtube has been researching the resurgence of the popularity of blowjobs and recently put out some statistics on its blog. And, well, as they tell it, “we’ve traced the popularity of blowjob searches from 2014 to 2017 where you can see a significant increase over the years. Why has this happened? There is no way to know for sure. Our prediction would be that sex itself has become less of a taboo subject. This has probably resulted in more people engaging in fellatio and thus also searching for it.” In addition to looking at the increase in interest in blowjob scenes, RedTube measured which porn stars users are most interested in. Lisa Ann, Lisa Ann, Lisa Ann. She topped every list. One day, Porn Valley (the San Fernando Valley), will get a Porn Star Walk of Fame, like Hollywood, but with pussy, dick and lip impression in cement. And we imagine Lisa Ann’s star would be worn the fuck out, from guys trying to stick their dick in it.

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And as an interesting last side note, RedTube also ranked the most searched blowjob terms. Rounding out the list was “granny blowjob.”

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AMANDA SEYFRIED’S TITS AND BLOWJOB PICTURES ARE OUT, CAUSE SHE JUST GOT HACKED

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Actress Amanda Seyfried, 31, recently had topless and oral sex pictures released in the most recent celebrity hack. Amanda is fully pregnant now, so the pictures were likely some time ago. They have neither been confirmed or denied by Amanda or her people. The two topless (one covered) pictures were pretty harmless. The third shows Amanda with a dick all up in her mouth (that of Justin Long). A quick Google images search doesn’t show the pictures anywhere, which lends toward credibility. Fakes are usually posted everywhere, but it is still early. We aren’t showing the oral sex picture, not for any moral reason, just because that’s the limit of our uncensored coverage. But you can see it here.

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PORN STAR CARMEN VALENTINA PROMISED THE ATLANTA FALCONS BLOWJOBS AND SEX TO LOSE, AND LOOKS LIKE IT WORKED

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Porn stars Carmen Valentina and Lauren Phillips promised all of their Twitter followers a blowjob if the Patriots won the SuperBowl. #TeamBJ. And when that was looking like it wasn’t going to happen, Carmen came to the rescue. She said on Twitter, “I will fuck every member of the #falcons if they decide to throw the game. My #patriots fans deserve BJs #teamBJ #SuperBowl” and “Dear #Falcons if you decide to lose #SuperBowl I will gladly suck your dick and put you first in line. Lets go #Patriots.” And then all of a sudden, it was like the Falcons had given up and were letting the Patriots score. We can only speculate cause they wanted to score too. Maybe. Maybe it’s just a conspiracy theory. Either way, Carmen and Lauren Twitter fans are guaranteed blowjobs if they want them. #TeamBJ promised to release details on Wednesday.

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PORN STARS CARMEN VALENTINA AND LARUEN PHILLIPS IN FOR A SERIOS CASE OF LOCK JAW, PROMISING BLOWJOBS TO FOLLOWERS IF PATRIOTS WIN SUPERBOWL

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According to the Las Vegas betting houses, the Atlantic Falcons are going to win the Super Bowl when they face the New England Patriots this Sunday. But that is far from certain. Porn stars Carmen Valentina and Lauren Phillips, however, are providing an incentive for Patriots fans to cheer for their team. As has become a sort of porn tradition, both porn stars have signed up for #TeamBJ, offering blowjobs to all of their followers on Twitter if the Patriots win. This is the 5th installment of #TeamBJ. About this recent iteration, Carmen Valentina said, “This is my first ever #TeamBJ so I have no idea what to expect. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I will be on the edge of my seat the entire game. I’d love to give Bill Belichick a BJ if the Patriots win … he hardly ever smiles.” Lauren Phillips added, “I asked Carmen if she wanted to give #TeamBJ a shot for the Superbowl. I really do have a fantasy of random twitter followers showing up to collect BJs. I honestly hope that Brady and the Patriots kick some ass this weekend. I’d love to inflate a lot of balls ….” To qualify, you must follow both Carmen and Lauren on Twitter (@LaurenFillsUp and @ClubCarmenXXX), the Patriots must win, and then they will post details on the blowjob train on TeamBJ.com, three days after that. Easy enough. So if you are in need of a blowjob, from a porn star, and you think the Patriots may beat the odds, then what have you got to lose? #TeamBJ has twice delivered.

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SARAH JESSICA PARKER STROKES OFF HER PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARD

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Sarah Jessica Parker, 51, took home the Favorite Premium Series Actress People’s Choice Award on Wednesday. On stage, she gushed, “Oh wow! Well goodness, this is lovely. And this is a real honour and I think of this occasion as just the most perfect opportunity to express a very personal and long-felt bit of gratitude. I feel like there are many who are not just an audience but have been a sort of, companion to me, well, over the course of a lot, of a lot of years. And I feel indebted to them for their commitment, and their devotion and their time, and their interest.” Backstage, she posed with her People’s Choice Award, looking like she was set to give it a blowjob and handjob. We’re just saying what it looked like.

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ITALIANS GETTING READY FOR PAOLA SAULINO’S BLOWJOB TOUR

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Italian actress Paola Saulino, 27, recently posted dates for her Italian “Pompa” (slang for blowjob) Tour in January 2017. While she currently lives in Los Angeles, she is from Naples, Italy, and was an ardent critic of Italy’s recent constitution referendum supported by former Prime Minister Matteo Renzi (who resigned after the defeat). Before the vote, Paolo promised to give any no voters on the referendum a blowjob, so now she is making good on her promise. She reassured voters shortly before the vote that “Love you guys! I’m not kidding I just want you thank you in my personal way.” Now that the opposition has won, Paola said, “I am a woman of my word.” She added, “Those who say NO to the referendum will be waiting in delight for my ‘Pompa Tour’ in January for what I promised to those who voted no.” In order to get the blowjob, no voters must submit a booking form that they must complete and send back to Paola.

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PORN STARS ANGELINA CASTRO AND MAGGIE GREEN NOW OFFERING CONSOLATION BLOWJOBS TO EASE THE PAIN OF THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION RESULTS

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Porn stars Angelina Castro and Maggie Green promised to give all their Twitter followers blowjobs if Hillary Clinton won the election. Hillary failed. So sadly no mass blowjobs (affectionately known as a “blowbang”) are going out from #TeamBJ this year. But the porn stars would not be denied their opportunity to blow some random fans. Now as a consolation, they are offering blowjobs, but only two, one to a Trump voter and one to an anyone-but-Trump voter (meaning you could have thrown away your vote on Gary Johnson or Jill Stein, or some other nobody candidate or write-in and still get a blowjob). To qualify, fans must follow both Angelina Castro and Maggie Green on Twitter, must have voted and must tweet the girls telling why they should be selected for a blowjob. The girls will reveal the lucky blowjobees on TeamBJ.com.

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Reacting to the election, Angelina said, “I was really shocked when Trump won the election. Maggie and I absolutely planned on giving all our followers BJs if he lost. The country is completely divided. What better way to bring everyone together than with a BJ to both sides. I think we can bring even the most ardent Trump and Clinton supporters together with a BJ. I guarantee they won’t leave angry.” She added, however, “I am a citizen but Trump still might deport me when he gets in office for being too Cuban…. Hopefully he doesn’t revoke my papers by executive order!” Maggie said, “I was on the edge of my seat election night and was super bummed when Trump won. Our followers were incredibly disappointed. We still want to put a smile on the voters’ faces. There’s so much division in the country it would be nice to see people who don’t see eye to eye… get off together.” Angelina and Maggie explained further in this video:



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READING A BOOK OR GETTING A BLOWJOB? DEPENDS ON HOW YOU “ENJOY PEACE OF MIND”

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This “Optical Illusion” went viral on Imgur, cause unlike the “which color is it” optional illusions, this one has an element of sex. And sex makes it that much more interesting. We all know that prostitutes are basically keeping the hotel business afloat after AirBnB knocked them on their backs. Most people don’t want prostitutes or porn producers in their homes, though it happens on AirBnB. Most hotels welcome the business, while at the same time claiming they know nothing about it. Well, this viral picture from one hotel guest, who posted it and wrote, “[s]aw this optical illusion in my hotel room,” might as well be as close to a confession as you will see from a hotel that it knows who is buttering their bread. Some of you will see a guy reading. Some of you will see a girl kneeling and give a guy a blowjob. Though the quote, Enjoy Peace of Mind” to us makes it clear what the hotel hoped you would see, without posting a big sign “JOHNS AND HOOKERS WELCOME”. Just remember to lock your shit up so she doesn’t steal it. Cause, safety first.

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BEST WEDDING BLOWJOB PHOTO EVER

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Gareth Ferguson, 29, posted this picture from his wedding shoot with his wife Toni, 26, on Facebook, writing, “This is by far my best photo from the wedding one that made us both laugh and we hope you can all see the funny side of it as we did. Nothing actually happend in the photo apart from the 2 mins of school girl giggling Toni Ferguson. did we wanted you to all see it as we have been approached by a magazine editor and they want to use it in some magazines. Please bare in mind this was something we both wanted to do purely for fun and a laugh.” People didn’t like it. According to Toni, “People have told us it’s disgusting, that we’ve lost the plot or have missed what a wedding is supposed to be about. Some have even called it porn. You’d think they’d never seen a willy before. … All the other photos were a bit boring and really awkward.” She added, “Some stranger sent me a message after seeing the photo calling into question my mothering but if my kids see that photo when they’re older and DON’T laugh then I’ve brought them up wrong.” So basically the Ferguson’s don’t give a shit what people think. In fact, they’ve said they have more pictures coming.

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PICS FROM PORNLAND: HILLARY CLINTON BLOWJOB

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Somebody put a lot of thought into how to make a Hillary Clinton blowjob picture that wasn’t just a graphic Photoshop job. We have to give credit to this guy who came up with the best celebrity, in this case Hillary Clinton, blowjob picture we’ve seen.

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ASHLEY MARTELLE GOES BANANAS ON SNAPCHAT WITH FULL ON PORNOGRAPHIC BLOWJOB SNAP VIDEO

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Model Ashley Martelle is big on Instagram, her own account has more than 1.1 million followers and her boyfriend is rap mogul Irv Gotti. So when Ashley uploads a video of herself sucking a dick in full on pornographic dick slobbering glory, it is going to make news. Ashley, of course, claims she was hacked. People, of course, are speculating who’s dick is it in the video, potentially Irv’s dick, even though Ashley says that’s not true either, which further begs the question, who’s dick was she salaciously sucking? Ashley had little to say, posting, “Everyone makes mistakes and I’m working on fixing things and making everything right. It was an old video and I hope everyone can move on from this. I’m reconsidering all my social media accounts because of this and it’s just not worth it…” As to the video posting directly, Ashley claimed, “Last night an old video of me was put out into the world and I can’t tell you how embarrassed I am. In over a period of time I’ve been dealing with hacking w my Snapchat and my emails. I haven’t slept all night trying to clear things up with Snap on how to get my account back and also my iCloud. That video was not meant for the public but for only me and my ex which is causing conflict with my current relationship w Irv.” You can see the uncensored video here. But it was so good, not even we could show it to you — but we give you the next best thing, and you can fill in the bananas.

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LATTE AND A BLOWJOB? MAYBE COMING TO SWITZERLAND SOON.

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If you don’t ski, enjoy chocolate or have money to hide, then there aren’t a lot more reasons you’d be going to Switzerland on your next vacay. But wait. We doth judge too soon. The Swiss are a liberal people. Prostitution is legal there. And a firm in Geneva has plans to open a cafe where patrons can order up oral sex while they sip their morning latte. Bradley Charvet, of the Geneva firm Facegirl, said the firm has been brewing up this idea for months. The business model plans for men to order a coffee and using an iPad, select a prostitute they want to perform oral sex on them. Then, they sit at the bar, enjoy their morning coffee and get polished off at the same time. “In five or ten minutes, it’s all over,” Bradley explained. And how much is it for this exquisite service, you might ask. Only 60 Swiss francs — just about $62 — with a possible five-franc surplus for a latte macchiato. Deal! Geneva’s Department for Security and the Economy is now looking at the café plans. Deal! Deal! Deal!

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REDSKINS FOOTBALL AND BLOWJOBS

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A girl that is willing to risk a public indecency charge to give you the blowjob you need to help you enjoy the home team winning a game at the stadium, is a rare find. But Redskins fans seem to have found two, at one game. Yes, two guys were caught receiving blowjobs at the Redskins/Buccaneers game on Sunday. These pictures of the action (the blowjobs not the game) have been going viral since Sunday. A witness who took the pic said: “All you saw was head movement from our angle. In the picture you can see his pants lower than normal. It stopped when someone came up to them and said get a room – followed by a lot of laughter from them.” And apparently one of the guys was motorboating the girl at some point, to cheers from the crowd. All we can say is that is classic. Classic.

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FLORIDA WOMAN, ARIELLE ENGERT, OFFERED TO GIVE THREE OFFICERS A BLOWJOB TO AVOID A DUI, ENDED UP GETTING EXTRA BRIBERY CHARGE

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If you’re looking to get out of a crime by giving a cop a blowjob, girl or guy, you probably want to let the officer make that offer first. Because, as Arielle Engert, 24, found out the hard way, if he passes, you just committed another crime, bribery. Arielle was out just drinking and driving in Pinellas County, Florida, cause that’s how they roll, or at least she rolls. Officers spotted her weaving (they claim), and pulled her over, only to have her flunk a field sobriety test, in addition to finding small amounts of cocaine and weed in her possession. At first, Arielle allegedly offered to suck deputy Brian Sudbrink’s dick, but then also allegedly made the same blowjob offer to deputies Obed Munoz and Eric Biddle when they arrived to deal with the discovery of the drugs. According to the police report: “The defendant stated repeatedly that she would perform fellatio (and) other sex acts if deputy would not charge her with the offences she was arrested for.” Arielle’s blood alcohol was twice the legal limit. She was charged with drunk-driving, drug possession and bribery, and released on $5,100 bond. So much for girls getting off easy. And what kind of police officer passes on a free blowjob from a hot girl? Be careful in Pinellas County, the only place in the world a hot girl can’t suck a dick to get off scot free.

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PORN STARS DANA DEARMOND, ALIX LYNX AND SKIN DIAMOND GIVE BLOWJOB ADVICE

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Skin Diamond gives great blowjob advice, “You want to make love to the cock in your mouth…. If you can get it to the back of your throat, you can stick your tongue out and lick the balls.” These are pearls of wisdom here, as porn stars Dana Dearmond, Alix Lynx and Skin Diamond teach ordinary girls how to suck a dick (using a popsicle). This is a PSA that every woman should watch.

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“MAMADING” CAUSES OUTRAGE, OVER LEAKED VIDEO OF BRITISH TOURIST GIVING MINI-BLOWJOBS TO 24 GUYS AT CLUB IN MALLORCA, SPAIN

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Apparently all the rage in Europe, and causing a lot of outrage, is “mamading.” Mamamda is the Spanish slang for blowjob. Down in Mallorca, Spain, girls (mostly on vacation) are encouraged in the clubs to give as many blogjobs to as many guys in a short period of time. A recent leaked video of this contest has sparked a lot of debate, about the British girl in the video, the guys who whipped out their dicks for a blowjob, the DJ who helped count out the number (as she went all the way up to 24), and everyone who may or may not have helped by plying her with drinks. The owner of the bar in the video said “There are more and more of these pub crawls being set up, and it’s competition; they’re just trying to make them more and more sexy. I saw a lad blowing another lad the other day on a booze cruise.” Manuel Onieva, the local mayor, has ordered a police investigation of the trend, telling Mallorcan Daily that he completely “rejects” these activities, and warns bars that they will be closed if the Mamading continues. Reports are that she was promised a “holiday” if she won the contest, though at the end she found out that the holiday was not a full paid vacation, but a drink. The video has been taken down almost everywhere, but here are a few pictures from the grainy cell footage of the blonde Brit sucking 24 random guys at the club for a drink.

[Explicit Video: A.J. Applegate, Hot Friend on Naughty America]


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