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KIM KARDASHIAN BEACH BODY NOT EXACTLY UP TO KARDASHIAN STANDARDS, BUT STILL NEWSWORTHY

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Kim Kardashian set social standards of beauty and sex appeal. But ironically, as she ages, now 36, Kim is measured against her own standards, and of course she is not the Kim of 10 years ago. But even the aging Kim is something to talk about. New pictures of Kim in Malibu prove that. While maybe not as firm as before, Kim’s still got assets.

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CARA DELEVINGNE DOES NUDE ILLUSION

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British model Cara Delevingne, 24, was on the red carpet for the “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” premiere in Mexico City, Mexico. She wore a strapless, nude-illusion dress by Versace, the purpose of which is to appear nude without actually being nude. Tease.

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PAIGE HATHAWAY IS OUR EVERYDAY MOTIVATION

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Paige Hathaway is a fitness trainer and Instagram model, mostly to sell her fitness products. The 26-year-old from Minnesota has over 4 million followers, because her Instagram muscle pictures, mostly in bikinis or nude, are truly tasty (we are insistent on making tasty happen this week). On her website, Paige describes herself, saying in part, “I’m 26 years old, a small town girl born and raised in Minnesota. After living several different places I am now living in the great southern state of Oklahoma. I always get asked how I got to where I am today. There was no strategically planned path I took to a career in fitness. It all started rather unexpectedly. In 2011 I was not the toned and fit woman I am today, as some of you know from my social media posts. I was very thin with hardly any muscle tone. It was then that I was approached by a trainer at the gym about proper health and nutrition. After speaking with the trainer I decided to step out of my comfort zone and enter my first bikini competition.” Oklahoma is so lucky. As are we all, today.

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CHARLOTTE MCKINNEY DOES ST TROPEZ

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When it comes to bikini models, love and adoration can be fleeting. Models age. Bodies change. New models reach 18, every year. But we still love Charlotte McKinney, 23. We haven’t talked about her much, because our love can be fickle too. But she is still the hottest bikini model on the planet, for the time being. She was in St. Tropez on rooftop in a private home (where all young models really make their money), in a white bikini that proves why she still reigns. She posted pictures to her Instagram page.

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TAO WICKRATH NEW BOOTY BIKINI GIRL

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Tao Wickrath is the new it-girl on the booty bikini girl scene. She’s quickly attracted attention to her curvy (and absolutely fucking mind blowing) body over the last few months while spotted out on the beaches in Miami. We don’t have much of anything on Tao. We looked at her social media pages a bit, which offered a lot of bikini body pictures, but not much information about Tao. Pictures are enough.

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KENDALL JENNER NAKED ASS, NAKED ASS

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Kendall Jenner, 21, has big ass shoes to fill, more ass than shoes. She follows her older half-sister, Kim Kardashian. She was really born into this reality television life, than had a choice. But she has taken to it so well that you would have thought it was her choice. She posed completely nude with her ass in the air for Sasha Samsanova. Choice or no, she is filling the shoes laid out for her well.

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HEATHER GRAHAM, ALMOST OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR GRANDMA, HOT ENOUGH TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND

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Heather Graham, 47, is, according to her recent bikini post on her Instagram page, “Off for a swim,” in one of her hottest bikini pictures to date. We have been following aging celebrities like Heather for some time now, because you all seem to love them, even in their old age, in spite of new, fresh, hot young blood in the water. We are servants of the public, however. So we have no choice. In this case, we don’t exactly feel pushed into talking about Heather and her hot ass granny body.

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JOY CORRIGAN FLORAL BIKINI, BEAUTIFUL BODY IN MIAMI

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Model Joy Corrigan, 22, did a sexy and flirtatious photo shoot in a floral bardot bikini in Miami recently, making tabloids and blogs around the world take notice. The Sports Illustrated shaped blonde did not flash her breasts, which is often a signature for Joy, but was still was a hell of show in Miami.

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KIMBERLEY GARNER MAKES PURPLE BIKINI LOOK GOOD

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Kimberley Garner, 27, was in St. Tropez, promoting her swimwear line by wearing it. “Baby lavender new new new bikini design. Very first sample @kimberleylondon,” she wrote on her Instagram page. The reality television turned swimwear designer was certainly putting her exceptional body to good use, getting some worldwide free promotion.

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EVA LONGORIA STILL RIDING THE NAME, THOUGH THE BODY HAS CHANGED

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We doubt we’d be saying much about these bikini pictures of Eva Longoria, 42, in Marbella, Spain, if they were from anyone but Eva Longoria. We have lamented the attention that aging female celebrities still receive, but it hasn’t changed a thing. While spending time with her husband, José Bastón, Eva gave a less than impressive bikini display. People see what they want to see, we imagine. And most people will not see anything other than the Eva Longoria of the 1990s. But that time has past folks. Still not bad though…

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JOY CORRIGAN STILL A JOY

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Most of the time we find ourselves talking about Joy Corrigan it is for her swimsuit work, mostly in Sports Illustrated. But Joy keeps a diverse portfolio. She was recently nude (but covered) for Gosee magazine. Cause she’s multi-talented. And we likes that.

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ICE SKATER ASHLEY WAGNER NUDE FOR ESPN BODY ISSUE

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U.S. Olympic figure skater Ashley Wagner is the most recent athlete to drop her nudes for the ESPN Body Issue. Ashley mostly talked about concussions, but she also talked about aging, now that she is 26. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the locker room mom … These younger girls are doing triple-triple combinations, but at the end of the day they aren’t necessary dealing with the hips of a 26-year-old, and quite frankly the body of a woman, versus the body of a kid.” But Ashley is happy with her body. “Now, I think my body makes me look like a woman on the ice. And I think that a lot of people would rather watch a woman on the ice than a girl. If I’m out there skating to a love story, I feel like it’s much more believable if I look like a 25-year-old woman who has been in love before compared to a 14-year-old girl.” We will plead the 5th on the 14-year-old girl question, especially since we are no longer in Thailand. But Ashley sure as shit does look good at 26 and naked for ESPN.

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JOANNA KRUPA WAS HANDS DOWN THE HOTTEST CELEBRITY NUDE FOR THE FOURTH

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We couldn’t end our coverage of the Fourth of July yesterday without mention of Joanna Krupa’s full body nude in celebration of American’s independence. She put in extra work that deserves a mention. As we said yesterday, there was no shortage of Fourth of July revelers among celebrities, with pictures of bare asses, see through tits, nude bodies and all manner of sexual imagery to titillate for the Fourth. It is hard to compete these days. But Joanna stood out. So we are giving her some extended coverage today for her hot Instagram post. She wrote, “Happy 4th of July!!! Proud to be Living the Polish and American dream!” If that is what the Polish and American dream looks like, we hope Joanna stays proud and keeps living it.

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VIDA GUERRA’S INSTA-BOMBS

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Vida Guerra may be 43, but she still titillates with a nude picture. She recently dropped a series of nude but covered pictures on her Instagram page from her shoot with Martin “Depict” Murillo. And for those of you with a fetish for older voluptuous Cuban women, today is your day. Vida’s been dropping Insta-bombs.

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ALEXA REYNEN DELIVERS ANOTHER SOLID NUDE SHOOT

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Alexa Reynen is a young, 20-year-old blonde model from California. In spite of yer youth, she has produced an impressive body of exceptional nude work. She delivered again for PSM magazine this month. While she is still building her body of work and credits, we like this foundation.

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LAUREN BONNER’S GOT BILLS TO PAY JUST LIKE THE REST OF US

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We all got bills to pay, even models. And contrary to popular belief, not all models are prostitutes or have “sugar daddies” to pay their bills. So, after arriving in New York and finding themselves awash in hot girls from around the world all looking to suck from the high fashion teet, they realize nude shoots pay the bills. Lauren Bonner (we won’t make the obvious boner jokes) is one of those models. According to her website, she was “[b]orn and raised in San Francisco, with summers in Tennessee” and is “the oldest of three, and moved to NYC 7 years ago to pursue [her] acting and modeling careers.” She ended up posing nude to pay the bills. Everybody’s got bills. We were turned on to this recent shoot featuring a nude Lauren, raising boners all over the country (okay, we had to make one lame boner joke, it was just hanging out there).

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