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GLITTER TITS MOM CHARLENE O’MALLEY RESPONDS TO CRITICISMS OF HER VIDEO

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Charlene O’Malley is a 30-year-old MILF who appeared on Britain’s BBC, spray-painting her tits and applying jewelled stickers over her nipples for a ‘Glitter Boobs’ video. People were offended, calling it “soft porn,” mostly because Charlene’s tits were huge and surgically enhanced. Charlene has fired back, saying they were just “jealous.” The one minute-long video was uploaded by BBC Scotland’s The Social, with the title ‘Shake your tits it’s Friday!”. Charlene, from Inverness in Scotland, defended the video as “art” and said the backlash was fuelled by jealousy over her breast implants. Charlene is a beautician, who had her tits done three years ago. She said, “Most of the criticism has been from females. People were saying, ‘She’s a stripper,’ and all sorts of things about my breasts. I think because I’ve got fake breasts, people have a lot to say. I’m a make-up artist and this is art. I don’t see it as anything sexual at all.”

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Everybody has something to say. Tory MP Andrew Bridgen said, “The BBC’s function is to inform, educate and entertain. I would be very interested to know which of those criteria the BBC believes this fulfils. Is it to get young women to do that, or to entertain men? It appeared to me to be a strip-tease in reverse. Many people would question whether that’s a proper way to spend licence fee payers’ money.” A BBC spokesman said, “The Social has a specific remit to create content aimed at 18-34-year-olds and the topics covered are led by our audience. In this case, the content was all produced by young women and aimed at their peers. The overwhelming response from the 160,000 who viewed it was very positive.” We only wish PBS in the U.S. would provide entertainment this good.



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THE YOGA INSTRUCTOR STRIKES BACK

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Everybody thought that Scottsdale yoga instructor Lindsey Ann Radomski, 35, was just another middle-aged white woman who got trashed at a party, showed her fake tits to kids and then started getting all pedophile and molesting the boys. Shit like that goes down in Scottsdale. But now that she was acquitted of the charges, Lindsey is looking for some payback, some serious payback. According to court records Lindsey is seeking $5 million in damages in addition to at least $100,000 in medical expenses, legal fees and punitive damages from two lawsuits she recently filed. Lindsey was found not guilty (though not technically “innocent”) of 18 misdemeanor counts by a Scottsdale City Court jury last year. The Maricopa County Attorney’s Office tried to stitch Lindsey up with criminal charges, but they were dropped in April 2015 after a grand jury declined to indict her. A municipal court prosecutor then charged her with several counts of public sexual indecency, contributing to the delinquency of a child and indecent exposure. Authorities claimed that Lindsey got drunk at a bar mitzvah, flashed her breast implants and invited several underage boys ages 11 to 15 to a bedroom, where she allegedly performed a sex act on one teen, during the party in March 2015. Lindsey said the parents were at fault, because they did not properly supervise the kids, allowing them to drink alcohol (which in and of itself would have been the most pedophile ass shit to say), and that one of the boys slipped an “unknown substance” in her drink. She then claims to have blacked out and that she was the victim, having then been sexually assault by several boys, according to her court documents. We wish Lindsey all the best if she was wrongly accused, because the media was fucking brutal to her. But if she is the drunken pedophile we all think she is, well, good luck to her anyway, maybe a win would help her pay for the treatment she needs.

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ILLUSIO IS THE VIRTUAL REALITY BREAST ENLARGER

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Illusio is new technology for women who struggle with the question, “How big should I make my new fake tits?” According to Illusio’s Kickstarter page, “How do women choose the size and shape of their implants? Up until now, they used pictures of other women as their main resource guide. Or they just held the implants and thought, “HHMMM, I wonder what I would look like.” So what does Illusio do, you might ask? Well it bills itself as the world’s first “3D Virtual Mirror” for plastic surgery. It’s “3D imaging features a real-time image of the patient’s face and body with superimposed breasts (the size they would be post-surgery), so the patient can see how she’d look from different angles.” We were thoroughly entertained by the demonstration, as it showed a woman’s breasts increase and decrease at the slide of a button. While Illusio is an actual product, they are looking for Kickstarter funds to increase their sales staff and move from an animated image to an actual 3D scan of the patient. To make contributing attractive, Illusio is offering their product as an app to contributors, saying “For a small amount you’ll be able to see what you or a friend would look like with breast augmentation For a slightly higher level of contribution we’ll send you the necessary credentials for an UNLOCKED version of the app…where you can remove the bikini!” Basically, you’ll get to breast implant random girls with your phone and see them naked with pumped up tits. That’s a fair trade in our book.

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WILL BREAST IMPLANTS GLOW IN THE DARK UNDER FLASHLIGHTS?

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Once we heard this urban legend, we had to confirm it: whether breast implants will glow in the dark under flashlight. We teamed up with adult performer Jemma Jordan, who has 32DD implants (she also graciously agreed to apply a “SINN & SKINN” temporary tattoo across her breasts). We all crammed into her bathroom to conduct our moderately scientific “experiment.” There are no special effects in this video, just Jemma’s 32DD breasts (with implants), two flashlights and of course our temporary tattoo. We got our answer right away, but we were only generally satisfied with the result. Yes, breast implants will glow, but breasts will “glow” generally too, even if a bit more dimly. We probably need Bill Nye the Science Guy to fully explain this, but you only have us for the moment. (We encourage you to write in to Bill, though.) So if you look closely (and we know you will), thinner fleshy areas of the body where light can pass, will appear to glow. So for example, Jemma’s hands “glow,” as do her breasts. But if you look even closer, you can also see the implants and exactly where they are located under her breast tissue, and the implants themselves glow much, much, much brighter. They really shine. It is impossible to miss them. So next time, if you want to know if a girl’s breasts are real or not, just put a flashlight up to them (and then think of a witty comeback after she slaps you in the face…..or better yet, maybe ask first).

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MORE PROOF THAT BREAST IMPLANTS GLOW IN THE DARK

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We have heard this repeatedly, that breast implants will glow in the dark when you place a flash light next to them. This of course is perfect for a trending hashtag challenge now that Halloween is right around the corner. So we’re looking for breast implant models to help us get it going. For now, we are encouraged by more Internet proof.

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KATIE PRICE POSTS PROUD PICTURE OF HER NEW BARE BREASTS ON INSTAGRAM, THEN QUICKLY DELETES IT

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British celebrity Katie Price, 38, decided it might be a good idea to share her bare naked breasts on Instagram, but then decided maybe not and deleted the picture. But that of course did not stop the Internet from downloading the picture of her eighth boob job so that it could be preserved for all time. Katie underwent her eight boob job after returning to her natural bust size in 2015 for the first time in 16 years because of medical complications with her last implants. Her first boob job was back in 1998.

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FARRAH ABRAHAM SUPERENHANCEMENTS IN A BIKINI

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Reality television and porn star Farrah Abraham turned 25 last week in Miami. The surgically enhanced “teen mom” was poolside, and on the beach, cause what else do you do in Miami, except show your super busty breast implants to the world. It’s what you do in Miami. It’s what you do when you are a quickly aging 25-year-old. And it’s what you do when you are a reality star whose singular talent is fame whoring, at which she is a master.

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SARAH MARIE SUMMER HAS THE BIGGEST FAKE BREASTS IN AUSTRALIA AND ISN’T DONE YET

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We admire persistence and determination, and Sarah Marie Summer has exhibited both in her quest to get her breasts to the right size. She currently holds the rather dubious distinction of having the biggest fake breasts in Australia. She’s 23 years old, but has already had 3 surgeries, breast augmentations, taking her from a A cup to an M cup. Sarah said recently in explaining her infatuation with her breasts, ‘I don’t think people believe that this is actually how I want to look.” To the contrary, Sarah added, “I want to look silly and I want to be huge. They make people smile and that makes me happy, so that can’t be a bad thing.” Yes, Sarah, in case you were wondering, we are certainly smiling.

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And while many are cynical, Sarah points out she has earned modeling jobs and plenty of social media attention based on her gigantic cup size. Sarah spent some $13,000 on her first augmentation to get to a C cup, but that wasn’t enough. “I had mixed feelings after because they were still not what I had imagined. They were just not big enough so I decided to go again,” she said. So Sarah doubled-down and an got another augmentation taking her to a DD. But that too wasn’t quite right. So she nearly risked her life in going under the knife to increase her breasts to a size M. “The skin stretched so much I had blisters and they got infected. I was on antibiotics and I was allergic to them. I was really sick. I wasn’t healing and they wanted to take them out but thankfully I turned a corner,” she said. And now, the word on the street is planning on going larger.

What can you say, but we wish you the best, Sarah. You can follow Sarah on Twitter at @SarahMarie_S.

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ZOE ZEBRA NEEDS IMPLANTS AND WILL FUCK 25 GUYS TO GET THEM

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Canadian porn star Zoe Zebra is looking for a new pair of boobs. And to fund her implants, she’s arranged to have sex with 25 guys on September 5, in a trailer parked next to Club 77, a strip club in Gatineau, Quebec. The mayor of the town of Gatineau thinks it sends the wrong message. “It is shameful for Gatineau,” Mayor Maxime Pedneaud-Jobin said. “We want to promote a healthy sexuality, and healthy self-esteem for women, and we don’t want young girls obsessing over a body that is in many cases not accessible. The values promoted by this event go against all of that.” So the mayor is trying to put a stop to it, but so far has had no luck. Zoe isn’t excited about the event, but she is planning on going forward. “I will do it. I took this decision, and if I cancel, they will take me to court,” she said.

[Explicit Video: Anikka Albright, Anal for Anikka on Brazzers]


But she also told another publication the idea was hers. When asked where the idea came from, she said, “It was mine. Everyone in the porno business knows me as the nymphomaniac. I want bigger breasts. This is a chance to get someone else to pay for the operation. I’m quite tall, so I think it will look good to have bigger breasts, at my size.” And about the mayor, Zoe brushed him off, “I couldn’t care less what he thinks. He’s the mayor, he has to say that. We are within the law and we are going to do it anyway.” She added, “How many women are there out there who want bigger breasts? Everybody is getting them. Some women would have to work six months at Wal-Mart to buy breast enhancements. I can earn the money in one night.”

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BRITISH PORN STAR SOPHIE DALZELL MISSED HER PROBATION MEETINGS CAUSE SHE WAS GETTING HER BREASTS ENGLARGED

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Sophie Pearl Dalzell has had a contentious relationship when it comes to the courts. She is a British porn star, with a record. She has a rap sheet of over 11 offenses, the most recent of which was assaulting two police officers last year while drunk. She somehow got away with only community service and a requirement to meet with probation officers. But she didn’t even meet with them. Because she was getting her breasts enlarged and refused to show up. When hailed into court to explain why she missed her meetings, she said “I’m just annoyed I have had to go through this today when I haven’t done anything wrong.” She added, “I went for a breast enlargement. They were fine about it at the time and now they have tried to breach me for it.” This isn’t Sophie’s first quarrel with the courts. Back in December 2012, she was ordered to wear an electronic tracking bracelet, but she refused, saying it was an “eyesore” not suitable for her porn career. (Though, it could have added some authenticity to house arrest porn scenes.) Sophie was fined for not wearing her bracelet, but still has not paid the fine, proving once again that girls with big tits can do just about anything they want.

[Explicit Video: Phoenix Marie, Quality Time on Brazzers]


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THE FARRAH ABRAHAM TOPLESS POST-IMPLANTS PICS

We’re officially done making sarcastic criticisms of Farrah Abraham, she’s the shit. We love her. In the last several months, she has made the media her bitch, including us. Every stunt she’s pulled, every self-serving release of pictures, home-made sex tapes, interviews, everything, the media has published it all (and to a lesser extent so have we). And they’re still doing it. Farrah has far outlasted the fifteen minutes of faux celebrity fame she deserved, and broken through to become an actual celebrity. Our hats off to her.

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In this installation of Farrah strap-on fucking the media with her well endowed publicity generating dick, she took topless pictures of her new breast implants. They’re not that impressive, they still haven’t taken shape, and she probably should have kept them covered for a while and build up the anticipation (though, since we’ve seen them before, and seen them on the operating table, something no one needed to see, it’s questionable how much anticipation there would have been). Anyway, this release has created another round of frenzy. And we’ll be damned if we weren’t caught up in to. One day we’ll look back and ask how this girl, seemingly so retarded, fool us all into following her lead.


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COURTNEY STODDEN DD SUPERSIZED

Courtney Stodden joins Farrah Abraham as the new faux celebrity to supersize their cup size as of late. “I just went and got my breasts to a double D and I feel very confident,” Courtney said. “I was wearing Victoria’s Secret bras, I was giving people the illusion that I was actually two cup sizes bigger than I actually was,” she added. “I was a size C and it looked like I had a double D, so I just felt more comfortable that way and I felt more put together.” They make Courtney feel “more like a woman”. She said “I just love the way my shape looks. It adds more curves and it just makes me feel more sexy and more like a woman.”

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FARRAH ABRAHAM POOLSIDE PORN AFTER CHARLIE SHEEN REJECTION

After a stinging public rebuke from Charlie Sheen of all people — seriously, how low do you have to be for rehab Charlie to look down on you — Farrah Abraham went out and did what she always does, made a public spectacle of herself, this time with her new porn star D-cup breast implants. But according to Farrah, “I would not get boob implants that were porn-star status. I’m very realistic about keeping myself looking natural.” After the Charlie bashing, which, well, let’s share it with you now: “hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua; I truly do not recall giving you
sFAB4 sFAB5 permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn. your daughter must be so proud. please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life. oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow. bye! cs.”

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    Bouncing back from that dose of pure Charlie, Farrah went out to the Sapphire Pool & Say Spa in Las Vegas, and showed off her boobs, Farrah style (which is moderately trashy, a pinch of streetwalker hooker sexy, and a dash of “I-feel-bad-for-you-but-I-can’t-stop-laughing” at how ridiculous your are). Of course, after seeing Farrah naked and nailed in the ass from James Deen, these bikini porn pictures aren’t exactly titillating, not that Farrah titillates us anyway, we have more of a morbid fascination with her increasingly popular reality television sideshow of a life descending into what is sure to be (unfortunately) a cocaine-induced overdose. But you want, and we give. So here’s Farrah (again)….


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