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JOJO BABIE DROPS SERIOUS UNDERBOOD AND LIFE INSPIRATION

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JoJo Babie’s feeding her 7.1 million Instagram followers underboob, booty and inspiration for breakfast. She dropped a serious underboob bikini shot, saying, “Be your own leader, be your own self, step out of the shadows and be your own sunshine.” In another she added, “Let whoever think whatever..focus on you and keep getting better.” The underboob was inspiration enough.



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CASEY BATCHELOR’S MS. POOL BOOTY

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You are more likely used to seeing British glamour model Casey Batchelor, 32, topless. And why not? Her 34GG breasts are near legendary. She is a yoga instructor now, after an intensive 3-week course, and changed her life. “I went vegan and stopped drinking,” she said. I used to be a party girl but I barely touch alcohol now. I feel like I’ve been reborn. Meditation has changed my life, I don’t get stressed any more.” We were concerned about this new life direction, until Casey added, “My boyfriend loves it when I do yoga in a crop top and tiny shorts.” She was spotted in Spain (where she did her yoga training), showing off her ass in a bikini by the pool. So, not really much has changed.

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MISS BUMBUM BRAZIL 2017 BANS ASSES BIGGER THAN 42″ — CAUSE THAT IS TOO MUCH ASS FOR ANY MAN

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Cacau Oliver created Miss BumBum Brazil as a celebration of huge Brazilian asses. But this year, the competition is saying “no” to asses over 42″. Cacau said, “I feel the need to reach for a new audience.” A supposedly more elegant audience for his big booty-fest. That all went out the window with the new class of contestants. The headlines they’ve been making have been definitely less than elegant. (So might as well let the big ass booties reign.). Gilliane Bonheur, 24, vowed to remove her silicone bum implants so she doesn’t have an “unfair advantage” in the competition. Contestant Rangel Carlos is in a polyamorous relationship with both a man and a woman. They are all raising a child together. Playboy model Jeni Summers is the first American to compete. Rubia Machado, from Tocantins, is the first leg amputee to compete in the competition. Even without asses over 42″, this year is not likely to be more elegant, but that’s not exactly why people pay attention in the first place. People want that ass, ass, ass, ass, ass. And Miss BumBum usually delivers.

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INDIAN BOLLYWOOD ACTRESS ESHA GUPTA NUDE ON INSTAGRAM, UPS HER WORLD PROFILE

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We don’t watch Bollywood films. Some 1.4 billion Indians do (from India, not the misnamed Native American kind). We don’t know who Indian actress Esha Gupta, 31, is. But some 1.4 billion Indians do. And apparently a lot of them have been slut shaming Esha for posting some lingerie pictures, several with her bare ass on display, to Instagram. It has dramatically increased Esha’s world profile in the last few days. And Esha is defiant about the criticism (probably cause she’s looking to make a move overseas and get her naked ass to Hollywood). She defended her nude pictures saying, “In our country, women are eternally blamed. I knew that I will also have to face a lot of heat. After all, it’s easiest for some faceless and redundant people to pull a celebrity down at the first opportunity. I’ve done shoots like this one when I was a model. I’ve gone topless and naked, too. No one ever asked me about that. And who are these people who have ‘issues’ with my pictures? It’s my body and it’s been shot aesthetically. There’s a thin line, which if you cross, you look vulgar. No one can say my pictures are vulgar. I got more love than hate, but it’s better to be hated than to be forgotten.” Yeah, we think Esha is packing her bags for a different wood. We’ll see you soon, Esha. And looking forward to it.

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CANDICE SWANEPOEL GOES COWGIRL, WHICH MEANS ASSLESS CHAPS FOR DAYS

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Women don’t often fantasize about the Old West, at least not much as men. Whenever you watch a Hollywood depiction of the West, the most prominent role for women was town prostitute. It was a different time back then. And women were either tending to their families or tending to the men who didn’t have families (or to the men who were away from their families). There wasn’t a lot going on for women back then. But today, we can all pretend that there were cowgirls, the same as cowboys, because at least that fantasy gets Candice Swanepoel, 28, in assless chaps. And that is a fantasy we can fully support. Candice recently posted tons of pictures from her Victoria’s Secret shoot with her fellow angels, including Alessandra Ambrosio, Josephine Skiver, Sara Sampaio, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Taylor Hill, Elsa Hosk, Niki Baratta, Jen King, Lily Aldridge, Lais Ribeiro, Jas Tookes, Romee Strijd and Behati Prinsloo. Edward Razek, a senior creative at Victoria’s Secret, described the shoot in a picture he posted saying: “13 Angels, 2 photographers, a crew of 100+, one big time director, and an $80 million ranch – no one does Holiday like Victoria’s Secret does Holiday!” No one indeed.

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ASS IS AN ART THAT NICKI MINAJ HAS MASTERED

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There are so many people today who are famous for being famous. They have no talent except being famous. Usually of course that’s because they have huge tits or a big ass. And either is something they are perfectly comfortable sharing (exploiting) in exchange for celebrity status on the Internet. That is so often true that we sincerely appreciate someone who is famous for actual talent and is famous for showing her tits or ass, like Nicki Minaj. She is an incredibly successful recording artist, and she has mastered the art of showing her ass to increase her already enormous celebrity profile. Some may say we have a chicken and egg scenario here. Did Nicki’s ass make her famous. Or did she make her ass famous. We tend to think Nicki made her ass famous, but it being so perfectly booty-fied (another word we are trying to make happen) also helped, a a lot, as you can see from some of her most recent Instagram booty pics.

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DEMI ROSE MAWBY BARE BOTTOMS UP

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Demi Rose Mawby, 22, can’t take a bad picture. She stripped completely naked for a shoot on the beach in Cape Verde. She was ass up, face up too, but all you really notice is the ass up. All that ass up. She did shoot in a black semi-sheer kaftan, but honestly, no one gave a shit. Her naked ass shots sucked up all the air in the room. Demi just can’t take a bad picture. We haven’t seen one.

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FARRAH AND FRENCHIE TOGETHER AGAIN

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Porn stars Farrah Abraham, 26, and Angelique “Frenchie” Morgan, 41, teamed up again to make a spectacle of themselves in Las Vegas. Don’t get us wrong, we love the “Back Door Teen Mom.” And Frenchie too. And together, there is just more to love. That said, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, and we are borderline on calling this one, too much of a good thing.

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BIANCA GASCOIGNE AND DEMI ROSE MAWBY BIKINI PICTURE, LIKE THE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY OF BIG BOOTY, BIG TITTY INSTAGRAM MODELS

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Bianca Gascoigne and Demi Rose Mawby teamed up to take an epic big-titty, big-booty model picture at the Bikini Beach Club in Cape Verde. Bianca posted it on her Instagram page, saying, “How freakin hot is this one thou @demirosemawby outfit by @mermaids_x @bikinibeachcv”. It was just a straight, standing shot of the dynamic duo, not like a bending over ass out kind of shot that we would have drooled over for days. But it was still freakin hot, like Bianca said. We hope with more to come.

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SECRET SOCIETY OF THE HEIDI KLUM-INATI

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There is no doubt that Heidi Klum, 44, ages, but Goddamn if she don’t do it well. We’d give our collective right nut to know her secret, so we could bottle it and sell it to Pamela Anderson, who really needs it about now. Perhaps the secret is in Bergisch Gladbach, Germany, where Heidi was born. Maybe in the water. Like the opposite of the kind they have in Flint, Michigan. We think she’s part of a secret society of models, including Christie Brinkley, who is 60 but looks 30. Like a Klum-inati (instead of Illuminati, go read a book, seriously).

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EVA LONGORIA UPSKIRT, TECHNICALLY UPSHIRT

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Eva Longoria, 42, the former Desparate Housewives star continues to stay in rotation. We understand. She was a young sex symbol and has so far aged well. And she continues to draw attention. This time in Miami, when she bent over to climb across the beach towel on her chair, she give a full upskirt view of her ass. And that doesn’t exactly come every day. Moment seized.

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ELSA HOSK’S ASS IN THE KITCHEN

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Swedish model Elsa Hosk, 28, is amazing, any way you measure it. You could be into fat midgets with green hair. Elsa is still sexy as fuck. If Prince were alive, we have now doubt, he would give Elsa a shout, “You sexy Motherfucker!”, Prince style. She posted pictures of her ass on her Instagram page, reminder everyone, “Don’t forget to hydrate.” Yes, please.

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DEMI ROSE’S GOT TASTY ASS FOR DAYS, SHE COULD SHARE AND STILL HAVE PLENTY

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If you are not intrigued by Demi Rose Mawby’s ass, then we question what in this fucking world does intrigue you. We are most intrigued by the question: if Demi took fat from her ass and used it for butt lifts for other women, how many women could she lift? We are thinking like 20. Demi is like double deuce-stacked in the ass department. And we think she’d still have some ass fat left over to still boast a juicy ass herself. That’s just tasty (its a new word of ours).

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SARA JEAN UNDERWOOD’S ASS CONTINUES ITS WORLD TOUR

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Sara Jean Underwood’s Instagram page is immaculately perfect. The 33-year-old Playboy playmate has stayed true to her chosen profession, baring her ass for the entertainment of the world. She has stepped it up a few notches by posing nude in exotic places all over the world. The background is nice garnish. But Sara’s ass is definitely the main course.

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TAO WICKRATH NEW BOOTY BIKINI GIRL

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Tao Wickrath is the new it-girl on the booty bikini girl scene. She’s quickly attracted attention to her curvy (and absolutely fucking mind blowing) body over the last few months while spotted out on the beaches in Miami. We don’t have much of anything on Tao. We looked at her social media pages a bit, which offered a lot of bikini body pictures, but not much information about Tao. Pictures are enough.

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KENDALL JENNER NAKED ASS, NAKED ASS

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Kendall Jenner, 21, has big ass shoes to fill, more ass than shoes. She follows her older half-sister, Kim Kardashian. She was really born into this reality television life, than had a choice. But she has taken to it so well that you would have thought it was her choice. She posed completely nude with her ass in the air for Sasha Samsanova. Choice or no, she is filling the shoes laid out for her well.

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