Sinnandskin Blog

KYLIE JENNER IS 20, HALF-NAKED AND HER TWO MOMS COULDN’T BE MORE PROUD

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Kylie Jenner, 20, is almost all-growed up. She still can’t legally drink, but at 18 you have every right to get naked for money, and John Q. Law can’t do shit. Kylie has been taking full advantage of her emancipation from jail bait (as any Kardashian would), and did again recently on her birthday yesterday, sharing partial nudes in lingerie on her Instagram page. It wasn’t exactly much to get a stiff woody over, but it ain’t exactly half-chub either.

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AUBREY O’DAY PUTS INSTAGRAM TO GOOD USE, MODELING STRAPLESS BRA

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When you have almost 1 million followers on Instagram, like Aubrey O’Day, 33, a good part of your “personal” page updates are dedicated to commercial advertising. Cause, might as well put that shit to work. What else is the point of having 1 million drones, but to try to sell them shit and make money? Well, Aubrey did, modeling a strapless bra. She posted pictures of her tits in it, saying, “#ad @sneakyvaunt is literally the definition of girl crush worthy cleavage! I know I’m not the only one who wants that #girlcrush status, so check them out at sneakyvaunt.com – they come in black & nude, and both are”. You know Aubrey didn’t write that or take the picture. It’s commercial bullshit. But bullshit with big tits is still something. It’s not nothing.

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RIHANNA FOR CARNIVAL IN BARBADOS

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Rihanna, 29, goes down to Barbados to celebrate her roots at Carnival. She went this year. She got dressed up this year. Like she does every year. And like every year, everyone noticed.

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DEMI ROSE MAWBY IS DROPPING BOMBS, LIKE THE U.S. ON ISIS

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Demi Rose Mawby, 22, has only 4.9 million followers on Instagram. She should have at least 10 times that many. She drops bombs on Instagram that are almost as good as porn. We say almost because there isn’t much better than porn, maybe winning the Powerball. Maybe. And that’s only because after winning the Powerball, you’d have the money to buy more porn, and pay to have sex with porn stars. Demi is almost that good. She recently dropped some Instagram bombs from her trip to Ibiza. And it was like shock and awe.

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LINDSEY PELAS PUTS HER “NICE PILLOWS” TO WORK

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Nest Bedding, a pillow manufacturer, used Lindsey Pelas’ gigantic tits in a campy SFW commercial bid to get you to buy their pillows. It showed minimal cleavage. And for Lindsey, who has posed nude (see below), we felt this was a gigantic underutilization of her assets. But it was kinda funny, in a hokey sorta way. But if you want airtime on any major network, you gotta play it safe. But what’s the fun in that?

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PAMELA ANDERSON HEAVY CLEAVAGE, STILL FAKE TITS

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Diehard “Baywatch” fans will be overjoyed at the moderately revealing cleavage shots of Pamela Anderson, 50, while she catches her balance shooting on rocks at the beach. She was wearing an oversized suit jacket and pants without a shirt or bra, leading to the heavy cleavage shots (bottom left). But frankly, at 50, her tits are still fake and could probably use an adjustment. We loved the Pam of the 90s (bottom right). We’ve moved on. Time for a new show and a new sex symbol.

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EVA LONGORIA STILL RIDING THE NAME, THOUGH THE BODY HAS CHANGED

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We doubt we’d be saying much about these bikini pictures of Eva Longoria, 42, in Marbella, Spain, if they were from anyone but Eva Longoria. We have lamented the attention that aging female celebrities still receive, but it hasn’t changed a thing. While spending time with her husband, José Bastón, Eva gave a less than impressive bikini display. People see what they want to see, we imagine. And most people will not see anything other than the Eva Longoria of the 1990s. But that time has past folks. Still not bad though…

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BELLA HADID BRALESS BUT NOT SHOWING MUCH

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Today seems to be a day of getting close but never fully what we want. Bella Hadid continues the trend with a braless shoot for V magazine, covered in a jean jacket or hand bra that never really reveals her breasts, but just gives a lot of cleavage. Blue balls…we need this day to start going somewhere.

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VIKING BARBIE JAMIE WOLF

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Viking Barbie, Jamie Wolf, has almost 500K followers on Instagram. So she is instantly relevant. She is a self-proclaimed “Fit chick, animal lover,bisexual Cult leader Real booty no Tony Robbins of sluts”. Basically, she’s a nude model, as best as we can tell. She sells her pictures over Snapchat. On her Nudie.tv page, she says, “I have a explicit private Snapchat that I post photos and videos on everyday… just for you. I love talking to my members and even send personal snaps if you’re good Just hit the subscribe button bellow or keep reading.” The 26-year-old 34DDD brunt does “Full Nude, Striptease, Twerking, Dirty Talk (extreme), Foreplay, Squirt, Girl/Girl, Dildo, Fetish, Foot Fetish, Spit/gagging,” and has “Biggest titties in the game”. She also takes requests. Here’s a sample of her Instagram.

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CHARLOTTE MCKINNEY’S GOT THE BIKINI BODY, BODY, BODY

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Charlotte McKinney, 23, is so hot it makes your teeth hurt. She was on the beach in Los Angeles busting out of her white bikini top, to the amazement of the world. She puts Kate Upton to shame.

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EMILY RATAJKOWSKI SHOWING OFF THE FAMILY JEWELS

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Emily Ratajkowski is in Cannes, for the film festival. She posted a topless but covered (hand bra) picture of herself, with her cleavage bespeckled with a jewel encrusted necklace, and cleverly called it, “Cannes.” She has since deleted the picture on her Instagram, but the social media darling that Emily is, no one could let it go without notice. So the picture and another have been circulating the Blogosphere the last day or so, cause people like looking at Emily’s “Cannes.”

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COURTNEY STODDEN TAKES THE GIRLS OUT FOR A WALK IN SANTA MONICA

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The Sun is reporting that Courtney Stodden is on the dating site whatsyourprice.com under the online screen name “Sugar Cane.” It’s like a dating site for hookers and Johns. There are two account types, “Generous” – where you pay for dates, and “Attractive”- where you get paid for going out on dates. Courtney’s profile says that she’s interested in “short-term relationships” and “activity partners” as well as being open to “no strings attached” and “sugar daddy / sugar baby” connections. And of course, because she really just wants to find love, she also refers to herself as “long-term relationship” and “marriage minded”. When asked, the Sun says Courtney admitted she posted the profile, saying, “Now that I’m single, I’m excited to explore my options, and to have fun while doing it.” She was also out on Santa Monica promoting herself, perhaps in the hopes of getting more “dates.”

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OVER 1.5 MILLION PEOPLE LIKED NICKI MINAJ’S HAND BRA CLEAVAGE

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Nicki Minaj’s breasts haven’t quite reached Super Bowl advertising status, but in two topless, rope-bound hand bra pictures of Nicki’s tits, over 1.5 million people liked them on Instagram (so even more saw them, like most of her almost 80 million followers). That is some serious advertising. And prime time real estate. Just image what she could get if Nicki started selling space on her cleavage like it was a NASCAR stock car. We’d buy a spot… But Nicki just did it for Easter, cause Jesus rising from the grave to save our souls and Nicki Minaj’s tits really do share a common thread. “Happy Easter. We shootin! Awww made ya look,” Nicki said.

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COURTNEY STODDEN IS GETTING SUMMER STARTED EARLY IN HOT SWIMSUIT

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Courtney Stodden is avant-garde. Not really, she just takes shit other people have done well and recycles it, Courtney Stodden style. But she is good at it. With summer only a couple months away, Courtney posted on her Instagram page that she is getting shit started early. She posted pictures what looks like lingerie but she claimed was her swimsuit for the summer. She said, “Starting summer early! #onepieceswimsuit”. It wasn’t all that revealing, but with a plunging tie-up neck line in front and Courtney’s gigantic fake tits, it was a heavy cleavage show.

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DEMI LOVATO NUDE IN THE FAPPENING 2.0 IS FAKE NEWS

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The reports that there is a leaked picture of Demi Lovato are true. But they are greatly exaggerated. It’s just a cleavage shot (left). Demi was more naked in Vanity Fair (right). That was a point Demi was quick to point out on Twitter. She said, “I love how everyone’s freaking out about one picture. It’s not nude and it’s just cleavage.” She concluded her tweet with a crying laughing emoji.” Demi then added: “Besides the world has seen me nude BY CHOICE before.. #vanityfair #nicetry #cleavagegameonpoint #myboobsarenteventhatbig #angles.” #FakeNews.

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CHARLOTTE MCKINNEY NUDE BUT COVERED IN FLOWERS

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Charlotte McKinney, 23, hasn’t been feeding the Charlotte McKinney publicity engine much recently, so we’ve been feeling a bit Charlotte McKinney starved. We saw these nude but covered pictures of Charlotte and like a starving man jumped on them without much question. It felt a bit like eating tofu, but when you’re hungry you’re hungry. And we was Charlotte McKinney hungry.

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