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CHANELLE MCCLEARY GAGS ON A BANANA COCK IN A CONDOM DEMONSTRATION CLIP

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Big Brother dropped an education clip of the show featuring Chanelle McClearly showing Isabelle Warburton how to put a condom on a penis, using a banana in lieu of an actual penis. It is amusing but tame. We were about to pass until Chanelle gagged on the banana cock while trying to deep throat it to put the condom on. It made up from 2 minutes that really didn’t go anywhere. It was the climax if you will. It starts off with some banter that makes you think it will be good, with Chanelle saying, “Sexual intercourse can come in many different forms. But ideally, the penis will enter the vagina.” Ideally, of course. But that really depends on who you ask, cause some girls like for the penis to enter the anus too. Chanelle continues, “Penises come in all different sizes. It could be little or big.” The banana was pretty big, which is why she gagged when taking it down. As we said, we were amused, briefly.

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MAN CLAIMS BIGGEST DICK IN THE WORLD AND THAT FUCKER IS A 19″ MONSTER, SO KINDA HARD FOR HIM TO PLAY HIDE THE SALAMI

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Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, 54, lives in Saltillo, Mexico, and he has the largest dick in the world. His monkey clocks in at 19″, so spanking that fucker is a full-time job, plus overtime. Before women all over the world start getting wet with anticipation, in reality, Roberto really only has a 7″ dick and a 12″ extended foreskin. So, we can’t exactly say that counts. But Roberto has hope. He hopes to get into the Guinness Book of World Records, but it doesn’t have a dick size category. In September 2015, the World Record Academy did recognize his super cock at 18.9″ in length and a tip circumference of 10″. He submitted to an x-ray to confirm that his anaconda is real, and as we said, that all depends on how you define penis size. But there is something there, as Roberto says he weighed his member, and all that man meat came in at two pounds. Roberto keeps his dick under wraps, always. He says that’s because it makes him feel more “comfortable.” A freakishly large and we assuming unsightly dangling oversized appendage can do that to a man. Now, some men might think having a near 2-foot-long cock is like winning the lottery. According to Roberto, “I cannot do anything, I cannot work, and I am disabled so I want authorities to declare me as a disabled person and give me support.” According to a news article, “[Roberto] survives on social assistance and scavenges for food and materials on waste dumps. He has no friends and says people ‘shun’ him wherever he goes.” But Roberto still has hope. He says, “I’m happy with my penis,” and that “I know nobody has the size I have in the world.” He hopes to move back to the United States, find a woman that is comfortable getting lubed to hell and back to take his monster cock, and become a porn star.

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sHOS1 sHOS2



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NSFW NUDE GRAFITTI OVERTAKING BRUSSELS

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Graphic NSFW graffiti murals are popping up in the heart of Belgium, and Brussels residents are less than enthusiastic. Residents of the Saint-Gilles neighborhood woke up over the weekend to discover a giant cock painted in black and white in front of a Catholic institute. Another mural of a nude woman with her legs open and masturbating popped up on Rue des Poissonniers. The two images have gone viral on Facebook and other social media. Somehow no one knows who climbed up and spent hours painting a giant cock and nude woman on the side of buildings. Some have tried to place the blame on a famous graffiti artists from Brussels, Bonom. But when tnterviewed by the RTBF, the French artist denied it, saying, “It is not me of course and I do not want to be involved in this story!”

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KENYAN MAN’S DICK IS BIGGER THAN A NEWBORN BABY, AND WHAT SHOULD BE A BLESSING IS A CURSE

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Having the biggest dick known to man should be the best thing in the world. But for 20-year-old Kenyan Sorence Owiti Opiyo, his super-swollen dick is about as bad as life can get for a man. Nobody has given exact dimensions of his dick, but it has been compared to the size of a newborn baby. And of course we found uncensored pictures of his super-sized Johnson. And the thing is not kidding the size of a newborn baby, if not bigger. It is a medical condition that so far hasn’t be given a name. We were thinking of going Latin, and calling it magnis phallus, or maybe giving a nod to Sorence’s suffering and calling it Opiyo’s Disease. Whatever you call it, his penis has swelled to the size of a watermelon, and is deformed at the end, as a result of his condition. He had to drop out of school because he was teased, and cannot have sex, cause no woman wants that massive thing bulldozing her uterus. Nor does she want her vagina stretched to the point of permanent vaginal gape. Sornce released pictures of his massive dick and is telling his story because he needs help to find a doctor to help relieve him of his burden and give him back a normal life. It is actually kind of sad when you think about it. Cause, we know now, the porn offers are going to start rolling in. There are of course at least a few porn stars willing to take a shot at deep throating or sliding on top of Sorence’s gigantic hog. We expect most men will take “a bigger dick” off their Christmas list this year, after having read this article.

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sKENY1

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#KINGCOCK IS A 12 FOOT (YES, FOOT) DILDO, WANNA PLAY “JUST THE TIP?”

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For some reason, Nick Orlandino, the Chairman and CEO of Pipedream Products, a sex products company based in Chatsworth, California, decided it was a good idea to create a 12-foot, 4-inch-tall dildo and call it #KingCock. It was in preparation for the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo (ANME), a sex toy convention held every summer in Burbank, California. #KingCock is not kept in a cage. There is no blonde damsel in distress beneath waiting to get impaled by the ginormous dick. Though, we would probably pay to see that show. Nick recently opened up to the Huffington Post about his accomplishment and how he got so focused on a giant penetrator. “Two years ago, we made a wall of cocks featuring our product. It was the hit of the show, so I was trying to figure out how to out do myself.” And suddenly the idea hit him. He said, “My employees looked at me like I was crazy. But a few hours later, they came back and said, ‘We can do this.’” The biggest dick in the world took about three weeks to design, mold and sculpt. “We had to use aluminum air duct panels to make the shell and then put the rubber over this.” Donald Trump would likely be proud, it’s made in America. And it makes sense too, cause America girls are all about the big dicks. But this one may be more promotional than functional. There’s not enough lube in the world, to slip that in anyone’s ass. But Nick thinks there might be an opportunity when he’s in Germany for a convention. “They might be jumping all over it,” he laughed. “Germany is crazier, you know.”

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While Guinness has yet to recognize this as the world’s largest dildo. Nick is moving on to his next big idea. “I think we might do the world’s largest vibrator or the world’s largest squirting dildo,” he said.

sKIN3 sKIN1

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HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR HUNTER OSBORN DECIDED TO ROCK OUT WITH HIS COCK OUT, CAUGHT 70 CASES OF MISDEMEANOR AND FELONY CHARGES

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Talk about getting your dick put in a vice. Hunter Osborn is an Arizona high school senior who accepted a dare to pull out his cock for his high school football picture. Among some 60 or so other players, Hunter stood with his dick dangling. It was published in the yearbook, which was distributed to over 1,000 students, 250 of whom actually got the yearbook. The rest the high school retrieved before more students saw the dick pic. Hunter is now facing 69 misdemeanor counts of indecent exposure and one felony count of furnishing harmful items to minors. Mesa Public Schools issued a statement condemning “the students involved in the photograph.” Alex Labban, creator of the Change.org petition “Free Hunter Osborn,” said the school is using Hunter’s cock as a scapegoat. “He wasn’t the editor that approved it or the teacher responsible for publishing it and distributing it to students,” Alex wrote. “The teacher responsible for the yearbook should be fired. Red Mountain High School is using him as a scapegoat instead of taking any responsibility.”

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Lucky for everyone involved, Hunter was 18 at the time he decided to cock flash the entire school’s yearbook. Hunter told police he was acting on a dare from another football player, when, according to the charges, “he exposed his penis through the top of his waistband of his football uniform pants.” Hunter is now repentant. He told police in an interview that he knowingly exposed himself but was “disgusted by what he had done.” We could only find the blurred version. Now that Hunter is completely fucked from ever finding a decent job, we suspect he’ll soon be getting an offer to do porn.

sHUN1

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DICK PONG JUST SOUNDS PAINFUL

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Everyone has been losing their shit over this video of this guy playing ping pong with his dick, which is really more just video of one slap shot. Click here for the video. While you gotta give the guy props for the most widely circulated dick pic on the Internet, we can only think this hurts and probably wasn’t worth the Internet fame.

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