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ANA BRAGA GETS A LOT OF GAS THESE DAYS

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Brazilian model Ana Braga, 35, is getting gas a lot these days, and every time it is cause for pictures. This time around she was getting gas in cosplay, full police officer gear. Well, not exactly police officer gear, more like Halloween erotic police officer gear. The kind you’d expect a porn star to wear in a video with a title like “Police Bitches in Heat”. But it worked.

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RIHANNA FOR CARNIVAL IN BARBADOS

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Rihanna, 29, goes down to Barbados to celebrate her roots at Carnival. She went this year. She got dressed up this year. Like she does every year. And like every year, everyone noticed.

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WOULD ANYONE REALLY WANT TO GRAB LENA DUNHAM BY THE PUSSY?

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Lena Dunham went political for Halloween, posting her costume to Instagram, and saying, “Happy Halloween! With love from a Grabbed Pussy”. It was a metaphor, since no one would really want to grab Lena by the pussy. She elaborated on her metaphor to People, telling the magazine, “I know that hearing those words was painful for everybody. I think women, and people of color, and Muslims who have been searched at the airport, and transpeople who have been denied their rights, all know what it feels like to have their body taken from them. Those comments aren’t just about women — they were about everyone whose body is treated like the property of other people.” But for the see through nipple action, we would have been happy to pass on Lena, and the now tired grab em’ by the pussy (now that the FBI is investigating Hillary Clinton again!). But nipples are nipples.

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TARA REID IS GRIM DEATH FOR HALLOWEEN

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Will no one say anything to Tara Reid before she atrophies into nothing but skin and bones? This is a Halloween costume fail.

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NO BIG SURPRISES FOR HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE IS SEARCHING FOR HARLEY QUINN PORN

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Pornhub offered some Halloween insights, from its treasure trove of porn statistics. One was obvious: Everyone and their mom is searching for Harley Quinn porn. Duh! But when broken down by gender, women are 116% more likely to look for a “Captain America,” followed by clown, Spiderman and vampire (and then snow white, cause, well, lesbians like porn too). Men, on the other hand, are 170% more likely to search for “batgirl,” then black widow, cat and witch. So hopefully you still have time to go back and exchange that Pee Wee Herman costume, which did not make the list this year. In terms of overall search growth during the Halloween time period, of course “costume fantasy” was up 4169%, followed by a 3474% increase in searches for “slutty halloween”. We have no idea why “fucking a pumpkin” increased 1540%, but we have a good idea — and it is a bad idea. But we know that won’t stop most of you. Happy Halloween.

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BELLA THORNE SNAPCHATS KINKY COWGIRL COSTUME

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Bella Thorne, 19, is getting closer to sexy, and is trying much harder now that she’s an adult and that cute jail bait attraction has worn off. While admirers, we haven’t paid much attention to Bella. She is still awkward and trying to find her place as a sexy Hollywood starlet. She’s not yet there. But we will give her credit for this cowgirl ensemble she Snapchatted out for Halloween. It isn’t quite skeleton with tits like Abigail Ratchford, but Bella is getting there.

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KYLIE JENNER HALLOWEEN COWGIRL AND READY FOR THE RODEO

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While Kim Kardashian has been radio silent, Kylie Jenner has been thankfully filling the void. But that is a big void, so Kylie can only do her best. She posted her Halloween costume to Instagram. The assless chaps were a nice touch to her cowgirl costume, but they weren’t totally assless because Kylie was wearing boy shorts. Kim would have went assless (cause otherwise what’s the point of assless chaps?).

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MARIAH CAREY IS A DEVIL’S ANGEL AT HER ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY

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Mariah Carey, 46, hosted her annual Halloween party again this year. Ex-husband Nick Cannon was there with their kids. Mariah’s new billionaire fiancee James Packer was not. She was dressed sexy as hell as a devil’s angel, one’s who’s deadly sin is clearly lust.

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THE BOUND AND GAGGED KIM KARDASHIAN HALLOWEEN COSTUME THAT PROBABLY NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN CREATED

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We’re not ones to run to the defense of the Kardashians. So much is fair game with that family. And at the risk of being labelled Kardashian defenders, we just can’t get behind the new bound and gagged Kim Kardashian Halloween costume. Costumeish.com is pushing it for $69.99. According to the website, “This Halloween it’s all about the #Hallomeme and who better than America’s goddess of all things glamorous ‘Parisian Heist Robbery Victim Costume?’ She has devoted her life to promoting American decadence, youth, and hedonism but all that flashy living caught up with her one night in Paris when armed men bound her, stole her jewelry and her peace of mind. This Halloween have some fun with pop culture and dress just like the Queen of Social media with our sensational ‘Parisian Heist Robbery Victim Costume’ Costume.” Contains: “White Short Sexy Robe, Long Black Wig, ‘$4 Million Dollar’ Ring*, Large Sunglasses, Fake Gag, 2′ of Rope *Costume ring is made of plastic and not worth $4 million dollars.” Does anyone else feel horribly uncomfortable at this moment?

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WALMART AND AMAZON PULL “TRANNY GRANNY” COSTUME

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If you’re hope was to dress up as a tranny granny this year for Halloween, well you may need to think again, cause you won’t be getting your tranny granny costume from Walmart or Amazon. The costume police are in full force this Halloween, and the latest victim was the lovable “Tranny Granny.” “All the guys will be dressing up as superheroes and princes, but you will stand out among the rest in this hilarious Granny Men’s Costume!” the costume description read. It also has a “curvaceous butt and boob pads to complete the look” and this particular granny “wouldn’t go anywhere without her pink babushka with flower design headband to keep her hair perfectly in place.” And you can “slap on some makeup and get ready for your granny walk and you will have the room roaring with laughter!” Not anymore. Walmart pulled this costume and issued a statement saying, it “obviously” violated its terms of service for third-party retailers. “While it’s listed on other sites, it clearly violates our policy and was quickly removed once we were notified. We’re appalled this seller put it on our site to begin with,” a representative for the Walmart added. But the outfit is still selling on other websites, and how hard is it for guys to find granny panties and a dress and let their cross-dressing freak flag fly?

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AND HEIDI KLUM WAS…

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We’ll keep the drum roll short, Heidi Klum went (as we predicted) as Jessica Rabbit. You may remember, we put folding paper on it. Heidi Klum going as Heidi Klum, or plastic surgery enhancement Heidi Klum, would have probably been hotter, but we give Heidi credit for being creative, though we’d have liked to see a little more rabbit skin.

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HALLOWEEN PORN STATS YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T CARE TO KNOW

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You probably don’t care what other people are searching for porn around Halloween. Maybe you do care. Maybe you might get some good ideas for your own porn searches, to know what is popular. Pornhub.com has stepped up to give you the porn stats you probably didn’t care to know but can now use to your fapping advantage. This is for you porn newbies. For you seasoned masturbators, this may not help much. As you can probably guess, no matter what your porn experience level, searches on Pornhub for “halloween” spiked by 2245% around the holiday last year, followed by “halloween costume” and “trick or treat” with increases of 1785% and 1477% respectively. We wouldn’t recommend going that route. Get specific, and get the good fetish Halloween porn. For example, “costume” searches jumped by 891% and searches for characters like “devil,” “vampire” and “zombie” were up 864%, 743%, and 460%. These are definitely steps in the right direction. (Vampire and zombie porn is just hot….) Others like “schoolgirl,” “superhero” and “cheerleader” only saw rises of 267%, 236% and 162% respectively, probably because people are generally looking for those terms all the time. Just about all of the more specialized Halloween terms spiked significant specifically around Halloween time and no other. Review the full list and get your Halloween porn searches on.

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FOLKS BETTING HEIDI KLUM WILL BE KIM KARDASHIAN FOR HALLOWEEN JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH

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Heidi Klum promised her costume for Halloween is “sort of a male’s fantasy come to life,” and folks are now speculating that she will be Kim Kardashian. But that makes no sense, because Kim Kardashian is already alive. Duh! They’ve all been duped by the pictures Heidi’s been putting out that show a voluptuous body prosthetic with tits and an ass that do resemble Mrs. Kardashian West. And, frankly, our interpretation is putting a lot of stock in Heidi’s understanding of the English language too. But an alternative guess is also percolating and it’s Jessica Rabbit. We think this is the safer bet, and are willing to put folding paper on that the tits and ass combination in the pictures are bringing Jessica to life instead of Kim. Since there’s only a few days left till Halloween, we won’t have wait long. While a whole butt load of bitches will be going as a slutty Kim Kardashian this year, we’re not counting Heidi Klum as one of them.

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HEIDI KLUM HAS A SURPRISE HALLOWEEN COSTUME AND IT REQUIRES NUDE BODY MOLDS

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Heidi Klum is promising a sexy Halloween surprise. “This is my 16th year hosting Halloween and I’ve had 17 costumes, like Lady Godiva, the ‘Visible Woman’ to a 95 year-old version of myself,” she said in an interview with People. “I like to switch it up every year and surprise people.” The surprise this year she said is every “male’s fantasy.” In support of her vision, a team of people cast her body to make prosthetics for the “fantasy” costume. Now, we think that Heidi’s version of every male’s fantasy and every male’s actual fantasy are quite different. Every male’s actual fantasy involves fucking at least 3 of Heidi’s orifices, in which case the body molds make sense. We’ll have to wait for Halloween to see, likely to be disappointed, but still somewhat intrigued. Heidi at least shared her body casting on Instagram so we could all see, and it does look sexy.

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WONDER WOMAN XXX KIMBERLY KANE

Here is the first look at Axel Braun’s Wonder Woman XXX Kimberly Kane. The adult film parody is currently in production. Not a bad first image release.


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