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LARA STONE NUDE IN A STETSON PROVES THAT FASHION COWGIRLS ARE SO MUCH HOTTER THAN REAL ONES

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We don’t really know what “real” cowgirls look like, if there is such a thing exactly. We expect they are big girls, cause rustling steer ain’t easy if you’re only 95 lbs. If we saw a “real” cowgirl, we’re pretty sure we wouldn’t even recognize one. We’d just assume she was a girl from Texas. But we can pretty readily identify a fashion model dressed up like a cowgirl, or dressed down nude as the case may be. Lara Stone went cowgirl, or nude in a Stetson, and she epitomizes what we associate with cowgirl (the other being, the gaping asshole view as a girl rides on top of a guy).

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ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO TOPLESS COWGIRL

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Brazilian supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, 36, was topless in the fields in Colorado for Victoria’s Secret. She was part of their cowgirl-themed lingerie shoot. She wasn’t in assless chaps, but her ass was out as she wore only a cowboy hat, holster and boots. She had on panties too, of course, thong ones. And Alessandra put on quite the show in the fields of Aspen.

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CANDICE SWANEPOEL GOES COWGIRL, WHICH MEANS ASSLESS CHAPS FOR DAYS

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Women don’t often fantasize about the Old West, at least not much as men. Whenever you watch a Hollywood depiction of the West, the most prominent role for women was town prostitute. It was a different time back then. And women were either tending to their families or tending to the men who didn’t have families (or to the men who were away from their families). There wasn’t a lot going on for women back then. But today, we can all pretend that there were cowgirls, the same as cowboys, because at least that fantasy gets Candice Swanepoel, 28, in assless chaps. And that is a fantasy we can fully support. Candice recently posted tons of pictures from her Victoria’s Secret shoot with her fellow angels, including Alessandra Ambrosio, Josephine Skiver, Sara Sampaio, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Taylor Hill, Elsa Hosk, Niki Baratta, Jen King, Lily Aldridge, Lais Ribeiro, Jas Tookes, Romee Strijd and Behati Prinsloo. Edward Razek, a senior creative at Victoria’s Secret, described the shoot in a picture he posted saying: “13 Angels, 2 photographers, a crew of 100+, one big time director, and an $80 million ranch – no one does Holiday like Victoria’s Secret does Holiday!” No one indeed.

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BELLA THORNE SNAPCHATS KINKY COWGIRL COSTUME

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Bella Thorne, 19, is getting closer to sexy, and is trying much harder now that she’s an adult and that cute jail bait attraction has worn off. While admirers, we haven’t paid much attention to Bella. She is still awkward and trying to find her place as a sexy Hollywood starlet. She’s not yet there. But we will give her credit for this cowgirl ensemble she Snapchatted out for Halloween. It isn’t quite skeleton with tits like Abigail Ratchford, but Bella is getting there.

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