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USING GRAFFITI BACKDROPS FOR SENIOR PICTURES WILL LIKELY RESULT IN A BIG GIANT DICK IN YOUR PHOTOS

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Alexis Boatfield just noticed something out of place in her senior pictures. She posted one on Twitter, saying, “oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big ass penis behind my head for my senior pictures???” Since posting, Alexis has found out that “dics in senior pics” is pretty common, especially when seniors decide that they want to use graffiti as the backdrop for their pictures. Cause dicks are everywhere. Some nice person did Photoshop out the dick for Alexis.

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WEEKEND EDITION: WHERE PENIS SIZE MATTERS, BEST TO STAY OUT OF WASHINGTON, D.C. IF YOU’RE A SHORT DICKED MAN

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Pornhub’s got stats. And we have to thank them for sharing, as they so inform our world view. Pornhub recently talked about dick size, and where size matters the most. According to Pornhub, women are eagerly searching for dick on its website, with women searching for “big dick” videos 46% more often than men, and searching for “dick” 122% more than men. The most popular dick term searched by women is “big black dick,” so there’s that. And it came down to location, as size mattered in certain areas more than others. Where it mattered the most was South Africa, followed by the United States, Jamaica, Kenya and Nigeria. So some men may want to avoid those countries. But if you have a micropenis, well, Singapore, Bangladesh, Egypt, Albania and El Salvador may just be perfect for you, cause they ranked least likely to search for big dick videos. In the United States, the safe havens for Napoleonic-sized men are Vermont, Utah, Maine, Idaho and North Dakota (probably also the whitest states in the U.S. where “big black dick” searches are less common too). But stay the fuck out of Washington, D.C., where the women are big dick obsessed, as well as with Mississippi, Georgia, Alaska, Louisiana and Arkansas. Alaska? Overall, there wasn’t much of a pattern, or rhyme or reason as to why some areas searched for big dick more often than others. The southern United States, of course, makes sense, with it’s larger “big black dick” population. But women seemed big dick hungry in states like South Dakota and Alaska too. The Asian countries made sense as havens for small dicks, cause, you know. But in large parts of Africa big dick searches were infrequent as well. Go figure.

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