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DATING APP ALLOWS YOU TO FIND CELEBRITY DOPPELGANGERS, WE SUSPECT A LOT OF PORN STAR SEARCHES TO COME

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The new Dating.ai app allows you to search for exactly your type, particularly if your type is celebrity doppelgängers. The new app uses facial recognition to find celebrity doppelgängers on Tinder, Match, Plenty of Fish, and other dating apps. But you don’t have to limit yourselves to celebrities. You can upload a photo of any person and the app will find potentials that look the same. We will be uploading a shit ton of porn star pictures, starting with our favorite, Kendra Lust, and then Romi Rain. (Cause we’re waiting on the Supreme Court to approve polygamy.) We’re scouting for new recruits.

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DOES EUROPEAN PORN STAR ALEKSA DIAMOND LOOK LIKE MELANIA TRUMP?

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Potential United States First Lady and wife to presidential hopeful Donald Trump, Melania Trump, may have a porn star doppelgänger. Melania is from Slovenia (former Yugoslavia). Porn star Aleska Diamond is Hungarian, and the producers of Sex Slaves of Slovenia are comparing Aleska and her performance in the film to Melania Trump. Her agent Raul Galante said, “We’re getting lots of interest in Aleska; everyone wants her. Apparently she looks like the wife of that silly man, Donald.” Exile Distribution Chief Howard Levine, which produced Sex Slaves of Slovenia, agreed, saying, “Her sex is so hot, I had to build a wall around my pants and make Slovenia pay for it.” Melanie has posed nude, so it’s not an unfair comparison, particularly given the close resemblance. But haven’t seen Melania in action, though who knows whether there is a Melania and Donald sex tape out there, just waiting to be sold one Donald wins the election. For now, you get the doppelgänger.

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FINALLY, SOME TED CRUZ PORN, SORT OF

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Ted Cruz has no hope of being president. So we are really only paying attention to “Lyin’ Ted” cause he is an amusing failure. He’s like the Elmer Fudd of the primary season. And, of course, that makes Donald Trump Bugs Bunny, a role that suits him. The most recent entertaining Ted Cruz news is the fame he has brought to Searcy Hayes, 21, from Natchez, Mississippi. She has the misfortune of looking exactly like Ted Cruz. Like dead-fucking-ringer exact. That reflects in part that Ted looks like a women (a pussy), but also that Searcy is fucking ugly. She appeared on the Maury Povich show because her fiance, 25-year-old Freddie Green, accused her of cheating on him — exactly what you would expect from Natchez, Mississippi, but Searcy, cheating? Not likely. Her fiancee really only embarrassed himself on that one, particularly because Searcy passed a lie detecter test, and has since been appointed by the Internet as the Ted Cruz doppelgänger. Also, as you might expect from Natchez, Mississippi, Searcy had no clue who Ted Cruz was. “I don’t know his positions and I’ve never seen him, so I don’t know if he’s done a good enough job to be reelected,” she said, admitting after being told he was a presidential candidate, “Well, yeah, I don’t know anything about him.”

…find your local casual or swinger sex partner on SINN & SKINN.com


It gets better. Now Searcy is doing porn. She accepted an offer from XHamster.com, to pay Searcy and her fiance $10,000 for a 6-minute sex tape. “We wanted Searcy because overnight she became a viral meme,” XHamster spokesman Mike Kulich said. “I think a lot of XHamster viewers really wanted to see her in action.” Searcy just doesn’t give a fuck, cause she needs the money. “I’m fine with it because everything is going to support my family,” she said. “I want to get my son whatever he wants.” Her boyfriend is down too. “We want to buy a truck, pay off our house and we might get married,” he said. “I never had anyone say, ‘Here’s $10,000! Go make a sex tape.’” He added, “It’s kind of exciting and shocking to know she’s famous — she’s more famous than Madonna!” And, “I’m with a star.” But clearly he didn’t get she was the butt of a Ted Cruz joke. But whatever works, Mississippi.



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