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BELLA HADID KEEPS CANNES FULL OF SEE THROUGH NUDITY

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Bella Hadid, 20, is on a Cannes nudity roll. She’s got two “wardrobe malfunctions” under her dress. At the amfAR Gala at Cannes Film Festival on Thursday night, Bella wore a sheer gown with jeweled adornments and a train. No one exactly cared except for the “sheer” part, which provided an extra does of nudity in Cannes, panties and nipples, where it didn’t really need any, but why the fuck not?

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HERE’S THAT CLOSER LOOK AT MARNIE SIMPSON’S PUSSY YOU’VE BEEN ASKING FOR, COURTESY OF MARNIE SIMPSON

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British reality celebrity Marnie Simpson, 25, went without panties in a sheer dress to the British National Television Awards. But Marnie knew exactly what she was doing, it was no wardrobe malfunction. She had a small black strip to cover just enough of her clitoris so you could see down pretty far, but not all the way to her goodie box. Marnie seemed quite pleased to show her goodies on the red carpet.

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HAILEE STEINFELD’S PUSSY ON INSTAGRAM

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Actress Hailee Steinfeld, 19, pulled off one of the greatest pussy flashes of all time, putting her hooha all over Instagram. Now, you probably need to slow it down as we have in the .gif below and take a good look at a freeze frame screenshot, but we’re going with that there is pussy Hailee is showing in the middle of her twirl. She posted her dress twirl on Instagram, saying, “A night in @ralphandrusso for the #EdgeOf17 premiere last night…” We doubt she actually intended to pull off the greatest pussy flash of all time, but whatever was in her head, we can clearly see what’s underneath her dress. You can take a look at Hailee’s original Instagram post here.

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TIM GUNN SLUT SHAMES EMILY RATAJKOWSKI FOR DRESSING, WELL, LIKE A SLUT

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Tim Gunn, appeared as a guest host on E’s Fashion Police, slammed Emily Ratajkowski’s dress at the Harper’s Bazaar Icons party for New York’s Fashion Week for being “appallingly vulgar” and “repugnant.” (If you cared, the dress designed by Julien Macdonald, with a very low-cut that exposed her belly button and showed almost everything else on top. Just look at the pictures.) Co-host, NeNe Leakes, tried to defended Emily, saying, “At least she doesn’t have her nipples out.” But Tim would not be deterred. He said, “That’s my point. Is this all driven by social media? Is this all just about [getting] everybody shocked? And I will tell you, I’m not shocked. I lived through the 1960s. No decade was more shocking than that, when it comes to fashion.”

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Emily later hearing about the slut shaming took to Twitter to defend her slutty dress, noting the similarities between the recent burkini controversy in France, disparaging women for covering up in full swimsuits, saying, “Western men in 2016: Want to ban women abroad from voluntarily covering themselves at the beach then want women to cover up their “vulgar” bodies at home. Who controls women’s bodies in 2016? It’s 2016. Why keep trying to dictate what women can wear?” She talked about her slut wear and attention whoring in a different context in an open letter featured in Glamour, saying, “Our society tells women we can’t be, say, sexy and confident and opinionated about politics. This would allow us too much power. Instead our society asks us to declare and defend our motivations, which makes us second-guess them, all while men do what they please without question. We shouldn’t have to apologize for wanting attention either. We don’t owe anyone an explanation. It’s not our responsibility to change the way we are seen — it’s society’s responsibility to change the way it sees us.” Call her a slut if you must, but you have to agree she’s a thoughtful slut.

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WHAT IN THE BEYONCE’S WHOOHA!

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We know there is no way in the world that Beyonce put her full frontal vagina on display for the whole world at the MTV Video Music Awards. It just didn’t happen. But it looked like it happened, in a completely sheer, skin-tight crystal Francesco Scognamiglio gown (not that you cared about the designer). She was also wearing $12,580,000 in diamonds. So more people were talking about that. We’ve been assured that while her legs were bare she was wearing nude colored underwear. It didn’t stop us from looking, and looking, and looking, and looking.

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BELLA HADID’S BIG SLIT STUNNED AT CANNES

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Bella Hadid was working the red carpet at Cannes, cause that is the whole point of the affair, cause who even knows the film she was attending the premiere of that day (it was “La Fille Inconnue”). The “dress” was more slit than it was dress. And at the right moment, there were plenty of upskirt red panty revealing shots of Bella’s inner crotch, which was flapping out. Had she went without panties, you would have gotten a full shot of her vag, though, you can see pubic hair stuble on Bella’s vag now. Still, good call on the panties, Bella.

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DANIELLE LLYOD’S DECISION NOT TO WEAR PANTIES, PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA

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Danielle Lloyd isn’t a stranger to controversy. Danielle, 32, was stripped of her Miss Great Britain title after posing nude in the December 2006 edition of Playboy magazine. Her title was reinstated in 2010. The British celebrity was out recently for A Night of Heroes: The Sun Military Awards 2016 in London. We can’t yet confirm whether this picture was Photoshopped or not. Danielle was definitely wearing a high cut dress, and from the mainstream media outlets, we’ve seen some really close shots, that at least confirm Danielle likely wasn’t wearing panties. Whether some lucky photographer got this money shot or created this in his creepy little “studio,” we can’t be sure. But we can nonetheless be amused.

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CHARLOTE MCKINNEY MAY HAVE A WHITE GIRL ASS, BUT HER BREASTS ARE 7 KINDS OF WONDERFUL

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Charlotte McKinney is gorgeous. Her biggest and best assets of course are her breasts, which are near perfect. We can’t say that much for her ass, she’s white (and maybe that’s a bit racist, but her ass isn’t really much to write home about). But none of that matters. You aren’t likely to notice much else on Charlotte given the distracting view up top. She was in Los Angeles for the GQ Men of the Year Party. She wouldn’t so much qualify for a best undressed nod, cause she’s wrapped up tight and covered. And still we can’t look away. That’s how we start this morning, and it’s a very good Friday thanks to Charlotte.

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JADA PINKETT SMITH REMINDS THE WORLD SHE’S GOT MILK

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We have to believe that Jada Pinkett Smith has an adult nursing relationship with some Hollywood sycophant, who sucks her nips on a daily basis to keep them engorged with milk and looking full. (It may be she just got a boob job.) Whatever is going on over in the Pinkett Smith household, Jada is doing something right, and she wanted to show the world that big fat engorged mommy milky boobs can look good in a see through top. Though, we will only give Jada so much credit, cause she didn’t go full see through and show the nips, like her more apparel-challenged Hollywood starlet peers. No matter, we’re good. Jada’s got milk.

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BEST UNDRESSED: BINKY FELSTEAD

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British reality television star Binky Felstead, 25, was not to be outdone at her own perfume “Wild by Binky” launch in London. And good for Binky (her parents named her Alexandra). The starlet of sorts was all cleavage cutout for her appearance. And while we’ve only seen a few of the pictures from her launch, we feel safe in crowning Binky the best undressed at her own party, cause any more revealing and we’d be talking nip slip or see through. So good for Binky, though we must admit a little nipple might have been more fun. Maybe next time.

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BEST UNDRESSED: AMANDA CERNY (AND RUNNER-UP SHAY MITCHELL)

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This was really no contest, though Shay Mitchell does deserve a special mention. At the MTV European Music Awards in Milan, Italy, the best undressed was hands down Amanda Cerny who’s cleavage was all over the place incredible, front, side, top, just about any angle you could image — boom, cleavage. It was beautiful. But that’s Italy, folks. A place of good wine, cheese, olives, and celebrity cleavage and tits. Didn’t you read the Lonely Planet reviews? Now, Shay didn’t even come close to matching Amanda, but we couldn’t go without a Shay acknowledgement, cause her cleavage was equally rock solid, if less on display. We noticed.

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KEMP MUHL’S NIPPLES ON THE RED CARPET AND NOW ON OUR RADAR

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If you don’t know, and we didn’t, Kemp Muhl, 28, is an American model, singer, and musician from Atlanta, Georgia. We didn’t know much about her, so we’re not surprised if you haven’t either. But that can all change in a minute, say, when Kemp steps out on the red carpet for the “Roger Waters The Wall” premiere in New York, in a see through dress with no bra. Game changer. That pretty much ranks you in social media celebrity. We’re not exactly fawning or swooning over Kemp and her nipples, but we ain’t exactly looking away either.

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MAITLAND WARD OUT TURNING HEADS IN ALMOST NOTHING THERE DRESS

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Maitland Ward was dressed to thrill. She appeared at the Adolfo Sanchez Fashion Show in West Hollywood, showing see through tits and ass. It might as well have been the AVN porn awards.

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