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ELIZABETH HURLEY ERECTION CANDY, DESPITE PASSING 50

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There aren’t many former sex symbols who continue to symbolize sexy after reaching 50. They mostly fade into obscurity before we hear about their tragic death from an overdose or some other drug- or alcohol-related organ failure. It is what Hollywood has taught us for the past century. But Elizabeth Hurley is still marketing her own formula for erectile dysfunction. She recently posted two hot as fuck, dick hardening bikini pictures to Instagram, that really make you rethink whether vampires exist and she’s just sucking the blood from the bodies of young girls to keep her looks. We haven’t fully invested into the vampire theory, but we are still mulling it over as we look at the pictures. She captioned one, “Someone has to do it,” while holding a running hose while wearing a pair of sunglasses and a plunging purple one-piece. That she can still “do it” at 52 is impressive to say the least.

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CHARLIE SHEEN FUCKED A BRITISH MINISTER’S DAUGHTER, DIDN’T INFECT ANYONE WITH HIV, AND WANTS TO FUCK ELIZABETH HURLEY

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Charlie Sheen had a lot to say in a recent interview with Piers Morgan. After revealing his HIV status, Charlie has been the source of even more controversy than when we has just a playboy actor who fucked prostitutes, reportedly male and female, two, three and more at a time. In the interview, Charlie revealed that his fuck list also notably includes a British government minister. He said it happened 20 years ago, that, “There was a girl here about 20 years ago, right? And I can’t say she was famous, but her father really was. And let’s just say, it was a race to the airport between the Parliament, my security team and Interpol.” But Charlie refused to give up her name, saying, “That’s all I can speak to it, because it’s not fair.” Apparently to British people, that was a big deal.

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As to reports the he infected previous sexual partners with HIV, however, Charlie said that is all “bullshit”. He explained, “The only couple of times I didn’t tell somebody was because the last 25 times I’d told somebody, they used it against me, and they used my medical condition for their own folly and financial gain. And the amount of despicable charlatans that I thought were allies, that then turned against me, they were coming out of the woodwork, it was crazy.” Charlie added, “I never did. On all five of my children, and my granddaughter, I never did. Because I wouldn’t do that to someone. I would not. How could I explain it later? And here’s the great news: no one has been infected by me. No one.” At least not that Charlie remembers. All the drugs may make his memory a bit less credible.

But looking forward to the future, Piers asked Charlie to pick one of his three ex-wives to be stranded on a desert island with, and Charlie chose Denise Richards. (Good choice, Charlie.) He said, “Denise and I were more on a cosmic collision course. I’d put her on a desert island because I don’t care how much she pisses me off and fucks shit up, she’s still nice to watch walking around naked. I haven’t seen that in a while, but I can’t deny it.” And Charlie also revealed he has a crush on Elizabeth Hurley, though we doubt Liz is trying to fuck Charlie anytime soon. Just like Charlie, though, we too are curious to see Denise Richards naked again, but for the moment we’ll just have to reminisce on her past nudes….

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ELIZABETH HURLEY IS DROPPING BIKINI BOMBS

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Elizabeth Hurley is 50 and still dropping Instagram bikini pics that are making MILF-loving twenty somethings drool. We’re drooling too. We all knew that Elizabeth was a hot ticket 30 years ago, even 20 years ago still, but who would have thought it would last? That’s a rare thing, especially for a white girl, who goes out in the sun. That never looks good at 50. So hats off, many things popping off, just to you, Elizabeth. Keep em’ comin’.

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