GATHER UP YOUR MILK MONEY, TIME TO GO TO FLORIDA, BANGABLE HOMELESS WOMAN FUCKING TEENS IN PUBLIC BATHROOMS
You are probably better off saving your money and yourself from a case of almost certain gonorrhea. But a decent looking homeless woman is having sex with teens in Ocala, Florida. (We don’t know if she’s doing it for money or the thrill of sex with teens in public bathrooms, apparently that’s a thing now.) According to the Ocala Police Department, Maria Lynn Baker was arrested by a detective on Saturday morning on two counts of lewd and lascivious battery. Police said that Maria called the police herself on Friday, supposedly to tell on the teenage boys before they told on her, but didn’t tell police exactly what the boys did. So the police went to check it out, and found Maria arguing with another woman. That woman told the officer that she had evidence Maria was having sex with boys. The woman showed the police a video of Maria having sex with a boy. Maria had allegedly had sex with two 12- to 14-year-old boys inside a bathroom. Police officials said she may face more charges, because they believe there may be more victims.
Florida, Homeless Sex, Maria Lynn Baker, Ocala, Police, Sex
DRUNK FLORIDA WOMAN GETS NAKED, AND USES FOUNTAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF A LAKE AS HER PERSONAL BIDET FOR THANKSGIVING
You may have done some dumb shit on Thanksgiving, but nothing that likely tops this Thanksgiving day story. A Florida woman, as of yet unidentified, got so fucked up, wasted, high or whatever — authorities said they believed she was under the influence, but did not say of what — that she swam out to the middle of one of those cheesy man-made lakes in an apartment community (likely hers) got naked, jumped on top of the fountain in the middle of said lake, and used the fountain to wash her lady parts. Lauderhill Fire Rescue found her Thursday morning in a crab walk position on top of the fountain, according to the department’s Twitter account. Police had to enlist their diver team to rescue the woman, who from what we could see from the pictures released did not appear like she wanted to be rescued at all, but left alone to get the stench of whatever or whomever she did last night out of her pussy. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Bidet, Florida, Fountain, Lake, Naked, Nude, Woman
#TeamBJ isn’t giving out blowjobs, because Hillary Clinton did not win the election (a condition of the blowjob giveaway this time). But another Florida porn star is giving away free blowjobs, but only for veterans, to “honor” their service, by servicing them. Jenny Jizz blew veterans last year, and she is back on her knees again for our nation. Jenny describes herself on her website by saying, “I’m Jenny, a true cumslut! I love to have multiple cocks around me & inside me, & I love to be covered in cum! I’m always looking for someone new to shoot their load on me! Who’s next?” Veterans it seems. Jenny will be at The Sausage Castle, joined by Naughty Alysha, taking loads of veteran jizz. The owner of The Sausage Castle, Mike Busey, said last year about the event, “You can pat them on the back and say thank you for your service and stuff, or you can get them drunk and give them a blow job. They just want to forget about the shit they had to do over there.” We all just want to forge. God Bless America!
Blowjobs, Florida, Jenny Jizz, Naughty Alysha, Porn Stars, Veteran's Day
FLORIDA HIGH SCHOOL TEEN HAS GANGBANG WITH 25 FOOTBALL PLAYER IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM AND PUTS IT ON SNAPCHAT
A 15-year-old girl at South Fort Myers High School in Fort Myers, Florida hosted a gangbang in the school bathroom with 25 guys, reportedly football players, and live posted pictures to Snapchat. We have multiple reactions. What the fuck, at first. That would be amazingly legendary if she was only 18, but at 15 it is really sad, cause she seriously has daddy issues. Worse parent of the year awards go to this girl’s parents. And then what the fuck, Florida? The girl reportedly told the principal she “had sex with a number of the boys,” and students said the group “locked themselves” in the bathroom and filmed it all on camera. Police deputies have confiscated a cellphone. Another student, Alex Bailey, said, “A bunch of football players went into a room with a girl and had sex with her, and a bunch of the football players were suspended.” A spokesperson for the Lee County School District said a student — or students — were disciplined in line with the student code of conduct, for “inappropriate activity” that occurred in a girls’ bathroom on campus. The epic high school gangbang reportedly happened before school started on Wednesday morning.
Florida, Gangbang, Orgy, Sex, Snapchat
Porn legend Jenna Jameson recently endorsed Florida Senator Marco Rubio for president. “I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office,” Jameson said in a VIP room at Gold Club in San Francisco. “When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.” And in spite of all the drugs, Jenna still has an estimated net worth of $10 million, so it makes sense she’d want a Republican in the White House to protect her wealth. Even if her wealth was build on a porn industry that Republicans traditionally oppose. But since Jenna isn’t making any more money (or at least not that much money) from porn anymore, we can see why she wouldn’t care about the conflict. As for Marc, we’re sure it’s the endorsement that Senator Rubio has been waiting for. Even though she dropped this great endorsement on October 18, 2015, Marc hasn’t really seen a jump in the polls (though, we suspect Jenna caused a jump in his pole).
Florida, Jenna Jameson, Marc Rubio, President, Presidential Candidate, Republican, Senator
FLORIDA WOMAN, ARIELLE ENGERT, OFFERED TO GIVE THREE OFFICERS A BLOWJOB TO AVOID A DUI, ENDED UP GETTING EXTRA BRIBERY CHARGE
If you’re looking to get out of a crime by giving a cop a blowjob, girl or guy, you probably want to let the officer make that offer first. Because, as Arielle Engert, 24, found out the hard way, if he passes, you just committed another crime, bribery. Arielle was out just drinking and driving in Pinellas County, Florida, cause that’s how they roll, or at least she rolls. Officers spotted her weaving (they claim), and pulled her over, only to have her flunk a field sobriety test, in addition to finding small amounts of cocaine and weed in her possession. At first, Arielle allegedly offered to suck deputy Brian Sudbrink’s dick, but then also allegedly made the same blowjob offer to deputies Obed Munoz and Eric Biddle when they arrived to deal with the discovery of the drugs. According to the police report: “The defendant stated repeatedly that she would perform fellatio (and) other sex acts if deputy would not charge her with the offences she was arrested for.” Arielle’s blood alcohol was twice the legal limit. She was charged with drunk-driving, drug possession and bribery, and released on $5,100 bond. So much for girls getting off easy. And what kind of police officer passes on a free blowjob from a hot girl? Be careful in Pinellas County, the only place in the world a hot girl can’t suck a dick to get off scot free.
Arielle Engert, Arrest, Blowjob, Drunk Driving, Florida
Porn star Kayla Kupcakes, real name Susan Surrette, 54, of Fort Lauderdale, was arrested for disorderly intoxication, or just plain being a stinking drunk in public. At her bond hearing, Judge John Hurley asked Kayla what she does for employment, and she was candidly honest, saying she works as an escort and porn star named Kayla Kupcakes. As the judge read her charges, Kayla claimed she was assaulted by police officers during her arrest and began showing the judge her bruises. “I’ve been beaten on by police,” Kayla said. “And also, this too,” after which she lifted up her shirt and flashed the judge. “Okay, well I guess that kind of sums everything up,” said the judge, and Kayla was escorted from the courtroom. Her bond was set at $100, which she later posted. And that’s how a porn star does it.
Bond Hearing, Boobs, Breasts, Court, Flashes, Flashing, Florida, Judge, Kayla Kupcakes, Porn Star, Susan Surrette, Tits
After divorcing his wife of 32 years, then-63-year-old Alex Abrams needed a sexual outlet, or was for the first time looking to dip his pen into another ink well and see what this BDSM was all about. He found dominatrix Goddess Jude, who describes herself on her website as a happy, playful, sadistic, kinky professional dominatrix based in Orlando, Florida who enjoys spanking, flogging, whipping, bondage, shackles, nipple torture, cock-and-ball torture and use of electrical stimulation, among other fetishes. She told Alex, according to a lawsuit he recently filed against her, that that it was of the highest honor to be her “financial slave.” Alex then “opened new joint financial accounts with [Godess Jude] and made [her] an authorized user on his credit card accounts,” according to the suit filed in Florida state court. Later, Goddess Jude persuaded Alex to transfer a Casselberry, Fla., townhome worth $100,000 to her, Alex said. Goddess Jude “continued to reward Abrams with sexual favors,” states the lawsuit, which also noted that “[Alex] would be punished” if he failed to adhere to Goddess Jude’s financial requirements. All told, Goddess Judge walked away with an extra $500,000 from Alex. In the lawsuit, Alex said that given his mental and physical condition during their BDSM relationship, he was exploited. The suit claims Alex suffered from clinical depression, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease when he added Goddess Jude’s name to his financial accounts and signed over the house.
Godess Jude is fighting back, however. Her lawyer, Lawrence Walters, said that the parties voluntarily exchanged gifts during a long-term personal relationship, “and now Mr. Abrams wants to use the courts to assist him in second guessing his financial decisions.” “The judicial system should not be used as a tool for revenge by former romantic partners,” he said. “Our client had no knowledge of any alleged dementia, and he was never declared incompetent.” “We believe the claims are frivolous. If a suit like this succeeds, it threatens the validity of any voluntary Sub/Dom lifestyle relationship.” Damn right. The state has no business in this most sacred of relationships. How can a dom clear out a sub’s bank accounts if she is constantly looking over her shoulder?
Alex Abrams, BDSM, Bondage, Dominatrix, Financial Slave, Florida, Goddes Jude, Lawsuit
California state Senator Anthony Cannella has introduced legislation in California to prevent “revenge porn,” posting of nude images of people (usually exes) without their consent and including identifying information, made all the rage by sites like Hunter Moore’s now defunct — he sold it to an anti-bullying site that shut if down — IsAnyBodyUp.com. The bill is pretty much identical to the legislation introduced in Florida, which failed in the both houses of the Florida legislature last week. But the California bill would only make the crime of “caus[ing] substantial emotional distress or humiliation” by distributing over the Internet nude images with personal identifying information a misdemeanor, not a felony like in Florida.
But the skeptics that helped defeat the revenge porn legislation in Florida don’t believe this bill is any better. Porn industry attorney Larry Walters told XBIZ that the legislation, “While well-intentioned, it criminalizes a form of speech, and may create a situation where erotic content producers will have to pay twice for images or video that is already the subject of a valid model release, just to avoid liability under this new wave of legislation.” He added, “With some reasoned input from the online service provider industry, a viable piece of legislation, imposing civil (as opposed to criminal) remedies could be created.” “But instead, these state legislatures want to take a sledge hammer to solve a problem that requires scalpel precision.”