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MICHIGAN COPS ABOUT TO LOSE IMMUNITY FOR FUCKING PROSTITUTES THEY’RE INVESTIGATING, BUT ANYTHING GOES OFF DUTY

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Michigan is the last state that still provides immunity to police officers for soliciting prostitutes and engaging in a little sexual intercourse while cracking down on the world’s oldest profession. You gotta collect the evidence, you know. But undercover cops won’t be getting any free games of hide of the salami soon anymore. They will no longer be allowed to have sex with the prostitutes they investigate, under a bill that unanimously passed a Michigan Senate committee Tuesday. “This is as succinctly written as anyone could make it. It eliminates the opportunity for those in undercover law enforcement to engage in sexual intercourse with someone they’re investigating,” said Sen. Judy Emmons, R-Sheridan, who sponsored the bill. “We have the dubious distinction of being the last state in the nation to have this law in our books.” The Senate Judiciary Committee agreed with Chairman Sen. Rick Jones, R-Grand Ledge, who said, “As a former sheriff, no modern-day police department would ever allow this. This makes so much sense.” University of Michigan law professor Bridgette Carr has tried for several years to get the exemption removed, but wasn’t successful until this year when Rep. Gary Glenn, R-Midland, offered to help, introducing a similar bill in the House of Representatives. So far, the House has not voted. So Michigan cops are still immune from prosecution for fucking prostitutes during an investigation, if they wish. But that trick is almost done.

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sPOL1

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PROSTITUTES ARE MOVING FROM BACKPAGE TO INSTAGRAM, FOR BIG-MONEY “SPONSORS”

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Hookers look for Johns and tricks. But wannabe models who are actually prostitutes are looking for a “sponsor.” It’s basically the same thing, but with more zeros attached to the price tag for a pickle tickle. And wannabe models are hooking on the digital streets of Instagram. Nik Richie, founder of The Dirty.com, talked with FOX411 about “Insta-models,” basically hookers. “I started getting swarms of submissions to TheDirty.com from guys debunking female modeling careers because these women would constantly be flashing cash, private jet flights and exotic trips, but they had no jobs,” Nick said. “Their IG photos flaunted the ultimate lifestyle only afforded by rich men.” “For some reason these women need to brag about their façade; posting pictures on their IG of $25,000 dollar purses, red bottom shoes, cash and of course the selfies from a yacht in the South of France or Dubai,” Nick added. “100 percent of their IG postings are fake set up situations to lure more men to ‘like’ their pictures.”

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A sponsor who talked with FOX411 talked about how he finds his hookers on Instagram. According to FOX411, he finds hookers by looking for models who pose alone on yachts, private jets, exotic vacations, and wear luxury items, as well as those who post personal email addresses using domains like Yahoo! or Gmail rather than listing a legitimate modeling agency like Elite or Ford. “I email her first saying she’s beautiful. Then, I ask how much her time is worth. How much would lunch cost me… $500?” he said. “We go back and forth until we reach an agreement. If she’s meets me in person, then I know she’s willing to do anything for money.” He said Instagram prostitutes start at around $500 per hour (for a girl-friend experience), and that prime time hookers can make over $10,000 for an overnight stay. Another source said it isn’t hard to figure out. “The sexy photos and videos are always giveaways to lure people in. The vast majority of these women aren’t making money from modeling,” according to the source. “Going to a beach in a bikini isn’t a paying job. You get no income for having 30,000 followers on IG. That $1/1K followers [rate] is pretty much the standard for any kind of endorsement deals, should a model secure one.” We all gotta pay the bills somehow. So, uhh, you’re beautiful girl, how much would lunch cost us?



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PROSTITUTES AGAINST VIRTUAL REALITY SEX

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Sheri’s Ranch manager Dena is speaking out against virtual reality sex. Sheri’s Ranch, of course, is a legal brothel in Pahrump, Nevada (outside of Las Vegas). And the possibility that virtual sex will hurt real sex business is not one that Dena likes. “People are going to visit the top sex tourism city so that they can masturbate alone in a room?” said Dena, adding that virtual reality sex is a “gimmick”. “I don’t think so.” Dena thinks prostitutes are still your best option. As to the virtual reality sex equipment, “It’s a big thing on your head,” Dena said. “The whole thing is just too awkward. I don’t understand it. It seems lonely.”

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“People need human contact – it’s not just something that’s a want, it’s an actual need,” Dena argued. “Look at newborn babies, they survive better with human touch. As adults we need that as well.” She added, “You can’t procreate with a virtual reality headset,” but also admitted, “Well, I guess you can’t procreate in a brothel either.” But she does have a point. Dena finished by saying, “People may try out virtual sex, but you’ll go back to what you like, and that’s human touch. If they’re that lonely they should come to a brothel and not sit in a bedroom with a headset.” We will see, Dena, we will see.

sVRP1

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HOOKERS FOR HILLARY ARE GIVING FREEBIES IF YOU DONATE TO HILARY

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Not long after “Hookers for Hillary,” from Dennis Hof’s string of brothels in Nevada, started offering freebies in exchange for Hillary donations, Lamar Odom came out and endorsed Hilary (no we’re kidding). But “Hookers for Hilary” are giving out freebies. Talking about hooking for Hilary, provider Entice Love told KCBS radio in San Francisco, “I mean, women empowerment. She’s just a role model. She’s a woman, she’s got the power … she motivates us to be who we are and she’s for what we do, so why not?” Many of the other prostitutes are on board. Entice said that 495 of the 540 women working in legal brothels owned by Dennis Hof will vote for Clinton. Speaking for herself, Entice offered extra free sex to men who agree to donate to Clinton’s election campaign fund to KCBS radio listeners. When Dennis Hof was asked if it violates the law on the financing of elections, he said he did not know, but “the girls showed a good initiative.” Definitely.

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FLOYD MAYWEATHER SPENT VALENTINE’S DAY IN AMSTERDAM’S RED LIGHT DISTRICT, CAUSE HE’S KEEPIN’ IT REAL WITH HOOKERS

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Floyd Mayweather banked $300 million last year from his fight with Manny Pacquiao. Coming into the fight, he had already banked $420 million from his paydays. So what does one do with all that money? Let’s be honest, Floyd Mayweather buys hookers. For Valentine’s Day this year, he was in Amsterdam. Clearly, weed was smoked. But in addition, on Instagram, Floyd posted a picture of some of his other activities, visiting brothels in the Red Light District. And let’s be honest, if you don’t have a wife or girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, what’s a guy to do? Masturbate? Well, Floyd didn’t. He decided to partake in the flesh trade. He said, “If you pay, you can slay. Happy Valentines Day LOL #Amsterdam #RedLightDistrict #TurnAround #BendOver #SpreadItOpen #Squat #HowMuch #TakeItOff #KeepYourHeelsOn www.themoneyteam.com”. Classy.

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WEEKEND EDITION: A MAN WHOSE GOT HIS PRIORITIES STRAIGHT

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We’ve heard way too many dumb fuck response to the question, “What are you going to do if you win the Powerball?” It’s like $900 million, people. You’re going to travel across country? Take a nice vacation? Seriously, that’s all you could come up with? How about villa in the south of France with a dock, for your sick ass yacht. And that’s just for starters. At least one guy gave it some thought, and came up with the best answer ever, on live television. Good luck everybody. If our office pool wins, don’t look for us on Monday. We’ll be in a jacuzzi with topless girls named, Amber, Tiffany, Nikki, Candy, Alexis, and lil’ Baby Booty Cakes. That’s how you spend $900 million.

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GREECE’S ECONOMY IS SO BAD, HOOKERS ARE ONLY CHARGING $2.12 FOR SEX

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Apparently you could always find a cheap hooker in Greece, with the going rate for sex at about $53. Since the Greek economy has steadily stayed in the shitter for the last several years, the price for 30 minute sex with a prostitute in Greece is now $2.12. You heard it, just $2. “Some women just do it for a cheese pie, or a sandwich they need to eat because they are hungry,” Gregory Lazos, a professor of sociology at Panteion University in Athens and lead author of a new research stud, said. “Others [do it] to pay taxes, bills, for urgent expenses or a quick [drug] fix.” Greek prostitutes are so cheap, they are driving central and eastern European women who used to dominate the industry out of business, according to the three-year study compiling data on more than 17,000 sex workers. “Most worrying,” he told the Times, “is it doesn’t look like these numbers will fade; rather they are growing at a steady and consistent pace.” The average price for a hooker in Europe is $271. But Greece is nowhere near that mark. And with the unemployment at almost 60%, more and more women are joining the industry, raising more than almost $638 million annually. Factor in the growing number of girls who drift in and out of the trade, depending on their needs, and the total number of female prostitutes is startling,” Gregory said. “Greek women now dominate 80 percent of the trade.” Prostitution is legal in Greece, but only 10 brothels in the country actually have a license.

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BEFORE YOU TRY TO PICK UP STREET HOOKERS, SEE IF GOOGLE STREET VIEW IS COMING BY

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You know your luck is bad when you get caught by the Google Street View car trying to pick up hookers on the side of the road. What are the chances? You were horny that day. You saw hookers just standing on the side of the road. You decide to stop to negotiate a good rate for a threesome. And bam, just like that you are the most popular John pervert on Reddit. Just like that. Now, the guy was not arrested, or ever charged with any crime. He has not admitted he was shopping for street hooker sex. It could entirely be that he was trying to help two damsels in distress on the side of the road that happened to look like hookers. No one will ever know. But it’s a pretty safe bet. These girls don’t exactly look lost, and they don’t have a car anywhere nearby.

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sSTRE1

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