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SHIT IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN, AS PEOPLE ARE ASKING IF CHLOE AYLING FAKED HER “ABDUCTION”

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Through her lawyer, model Chloe Ayling is trying to get out ahead of reports that she went shopping with her suspected kidnapper, and questions whether she was an accomplice in her odd “kidnapping.” We say odd, because she was returned unharmed and the suspected kidnapper walked her right up to the British consulate himself, where he was arrested. We say odd, because, the excuse that Chloe gave why she was returned (when the ransom was not paid), and why she was not sold at auction as the “kidnappers” claimed would happen, is because, according to Chloe, her kidnapper said she was being released because she had a young child, and that such an abduction contravened the group’s rules.

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And let’s not forget she went shopping with her “kidnapper.” Her lawyer was all over this. “In a state like that, she was terrified, it’s a 20-year-old woman, in an unknown country. If your captor tells you something, you believe it,” Francesco Pesce said. “She went along with what he asked her to do, look at shoes and buy groceries. This doesn’t make her an accomplice. She decided to go along with it to avoid any kind of conflict, followed him blindly, went into the shoe shop. This doesn’t mean she was in any way involved. You just go along with it hoping every minute that your liberation will be real. It may be a strange thing, but this doubt has been overruled by prosecutors, she has convinced the judge. He added, “She was told she was going to be sold to somebody in the Middle East for sex, she was terrified.”

And Lorenzo Bucossi, head of the Milan Police Mobile Command unit, said, “at this point there is no proof of any collusion.” Just a lot of suspicions. A lot of suspicions.



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BRITISH MODEL KIDNAPPED AND ALMOST SOLD ON THE DARK WEB, RETURNED SAFE

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20-year-old British model Chloe Ayling was kidnapped and almost sold on the dark web, according to Italian authorities. She was drugged and kidnapped in Milan, but was released, for unknown reasons. Lukasz Pawel Herba, a 30-year-old Polish citizen who resides in the United Kingdom, was arrested July 17 on kidnapping charges. He was arrested outside the British consulate in Milan with Chloe, said Lorenzo Bucossi, the head of the Milan Police Mobile Command unit. Police are looking for another suspect. Chloe told police that she arrived in Milan on July 10 for a photo shoot. She went to an apartment in Milan for the shoot, but was attacked by two men, loaded into a bag, and then stuffed into the trunk of a car, she told police. She said she was driven to an isolated cottage in Borgial, Italy, a village near the French border, according to police. Then, Chloe was handcuffed to a wooden chest in a bedroom of the cottage for a week until she was released and accompanied to the British consulate.

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“She demonstrated a braveness and a strength of will that one would not expect in a 20-year-old,” her attorney, Francesco Pesce said. “What she has been through is truly terrifying and I hope that what she did to help the investigation will subsequently help other potential kidnapping victims.”

Chloe’s abductors used encrypted accounts to demand a ransom of $300,000 form her agent to stop an alleged dark web auction from taking place, claiming to work on behalf of a group called the “Black Death Group.” The “dark web,” is a network of websites that are typically not found by search engines, and are often protected through encryption. Drugs, weapons and other items are illegally traded there. Authorities say that Lukasz may have previously organized several online auctions of abducted women. Italian police described him as a “dangerous subject with aspects of mythomania,” which is a pathological inclination to exaggerate. “It is unclear … whether the young people were really kidnapped or whether the man invented everything,” Deputy Prosecutor Paolo Storari said at a press conference. “The man also presented himself as a professional killer.”

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KATE MOSS SIDE-TITS IN ITALY

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For as much as we’ve seen Kate Moss’s tits, a little side-tit action adjusting her bikini top while on vacation in Italy wouldn’t seem like much. But that’s cause you just aren’t appreciating the power of Kate Moss’s tits. When a pair like that get seared into the world’s conscience, it is hard to let go. It’s like eating a hot dog at a baseball game. Yeah, you’ve done it before, but that’s what you do. We have collectively been conditioned to look at Kate Moss’s tits whenever they are on display. And even at 43, it ain’t a bad look.

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CLAUDIA GALANTI TOPLESS AND THE WORLD STOPPED FOR JUST A FEW SECONDS

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Paraguayan model Claudia Galanti may be 36, but she still causes the world to stop for a moment when she walk out onto her hotel balcony with her robe open. Yes, they are fake, but we are so beyond that. They still look good. Claudia stepped out to take a call in Porto Cervo, Italy, recently, with her robe open and breasts exposed. And the world stopped. If only for a moment, to look.

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RUBBING NICOLE SCHERZINGER’S TITS

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Nicole Scherzinger, 39, has been putting on a show for the paparazzi on the beach in Capri, Italy, from doing yoga poses in a white bikini, to grabbing her beau Grigor Dimitrov’s cock, to letting him open up her bikini and rub suntan oil on her bare tits. It has been a show. Hopefully they aren’t leaving Capri any time soon.

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KATY PERRY UNDERWATER OPTICAL ILLUSION TITS

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Pop star Katy Perry splashed into the cool clear water while vacationing in Italy, and the Blogosphere focused on one picture in particular. It appears to show Katy’s bikini top slipped up and her tits floating out underneath below the water. We are normally skeptical, especially when the mainstream media has published the picture and not blurred out the tits in the picture, but we have to agree with the Blogosphere on this one. It looks like Katy’s tits are definitely out. But it could just be an optical illusion from the waves or ripples in the water. We are sticking with tits out.

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GILLIAN ANDERSON DOES PAPARAZZI TRIFECTA: TITS, ASS AND NOW PUSSY FLASH

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Gillian Anderson, 48, was in Portofino, Italy with her boyfriend, Peter Morgan. And it has been a series of paparazzi gold. Gillian was caught with her tits out, her ass out, and now her pussy out, as Peter pulled her panties down to take a look (to see if it was still there?), and give the rest of the world a good top view. It was a perfect celebrity paparazzi trifecta, hat trick, threesome, whatever you want to call it. The former X-Files star had a good day.

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EMILY RATAJKOWSKI COMPLETELY NUDE FOR UPCOMING FILM, PROVES HER TALENT ONCE AGAIN

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An actress Emily Ratajkowski, 25, is not. She can dance around topless, like she did in Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” the video that made her famous. She can post half-naked pictures to Instagram. It’s what got her over 13 million followers. And we love her for it. But let’s be honest, she won’t be winning any Academy Awards any time soon. And probably, never, if we’re being honest. She is good for a nude scene. Like she did in Gone Girl. And it seems Emily knows her lane. She’s nude again, this time for a scene in an upcoming film, “Welcome Home.” No one knows what the film is about, except that Emily was completely nude shoot a scene in Italy on Sunday. (It’s actually about a couple who spends a weekend at a vacation rental home in the Italian countryside in an attempt to repair their relationship, but soon become victims of the homeowner’s sinister plans. But no one really cares. Let’s be honest.)

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ITALIANS GETTING READY FOR PAOLA SAULINO’S BLOWJOB TOUR

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Italian actress Paola Saulino, 27, recently posted dates for her Italian “Pompa” (slang for blowjob) Tour in January 2017. While she currently lives in Los Angeles, she is from Naples, Italy, and was an ardent critic of Italy’s recent constitution referendum supported by former Prime Minister Matteo Renzi (who resigned after the defeat). Before the vote, Paolo promised to give any no voters on the referendum a blowjob, so now she is making good on her promise. She reassured voters shortly before the vote that “Love you guys! I’m not kidding I just want you thank you in my personal way.” Now that the opposition has won, Paola said, “I am a woman of my word.” She added, “Those who say NO to the referendum will be waiting in delight for my ‘Pompa Tour’ in January for what I promised to those who voted no.” In order to get the blowjob, no voters must submit a booking form that they must complete and send back to Paola.

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TEDDY PENDERGRASS WAS WRONG, TURN ON THE LIGHTS TO GET INTO A ROMANTIC MOOD

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Teddy Pendergrass knows how to seduce a woman. But he was wrong about one thing, when he sang, “Turn Off The Lights.” A new study shows, that men over 40 perform better when you turn on the lights. Low sexual desire is a significant issue for aging men. Some studies have indicated that up to 25% of men report libido problems and therefore lowered sexual satisfaction with age and other facts. Searchers rom the University of Siena in Italy looked to a potential therapy with light. Exposure to bright light boosts levels of testosterone and can triple sexual satisfaction. So the Siena researchers created a study with 38 men diagnosed with low libidos where they treated half of the men with daily doses of bright light. For two weeks, the subjects spent half an hour in a room with a light box, a panel designed to emit bright white light. At the end of the study, the men receiving the light therapy ha significantly increased testosterone and reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

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Lead researcher Professor Andrea Fagiolini said: “We found fairly significant differences between those who received the active light treatment, and the controls. Before treatment, both groups averaged a sexual satisfaction score of around two out of 10, but after treatment the group exposed to the bright light was scoring sexual satisfaction scores of around 6.3 – a more than three-fold increase on the scale we used. In contrast, the control group only showed an average score of around 2.7 after treatment.” “The increased levels of testosterone explain the greater reported sexual satisfaction,” said Andrea. “In the northern hemisphere, the body’s testosterone production naturally declines from November through April, and then rises steadily through the spring and summer with a peak in October. You see the effect of this in reproductive rates, with the month of June showing the highest rate of conception. The use of the light box really mimics what nature does.” But the researchers caution that, because of the small study size, it is too early to say definitively that light therapy can be used to treat low testosterone. So for the moment, keep rockin’ that Teddy Pendergrass, cause at least the ladies love it.



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PUBLIC MASTURBATION IN ITALY IS NOT A CRIME, BUT YOU MIGHT GET A FINE

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For all you public masturbators who are shamed in the United States (and most civilized countries around the world) and fear jail or prison time, you may want to check out Italy. Cause in Italy, public masturbation is not a crime, even if done in front of other people. That’s according to the Italian Supreme Court, La Corte di Cassazione, who recently ruled on the case of a 69-year-old man, identified as Pietro L, who was caught masturbating in the southern city of Catania, and convicted after he was seen “taking out his penis” and “practising autoeroticism” in front of students at the University of Catania campus. He was sentenced to three months jail time and fined €3,420 (or $3,844). But the supreme court said that a recent government reform meant “the act is not included in the law as a crime,” noting that the Italian parliament passed a law last year decriminalizing the offense of lurking in places frequented by girls in order to be seen masturbating. Essentially, the court eliminated the criminal penalties for obscene acts in public. Pietro L still faces of a fine between €5,000 and €30,000 (or $5,620 to $33,721), however. Since the fines are still pretty heavy, we don’t expect an influx of public masturbators to hit Italy’s shores, but there are certain to be a few for whom it’s worth the price.

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GIGI HADID GOES RIGHT NIPPLE OUT AT VERSACE FASHION SHOW

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Some people have called model Gigi Hadid’s recent nipple exposure at Versace’s Fall 2016 runway show at Milan Fashion Week, a “nip slip.” But we’re not seeing any indication of a slip, instead of an intentional exposure. So we’re going with free the nipple on this one. Good for Gigi!

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HEIDI KLUM IN FULL BOSOM BLOOM (AKA TOPLESS)

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Somewhere in Italy Heidi Klum was on a beach. At some point she felt safe and secluded enough that she took off her top. Somewhere near Heidi was a paparazzi hiding behind a rock with a huge ass telephoto lens, and when she took off her top, he near climaxed all over his lens. Before that happened, he snapped off these shots that made their way onto the Internet, cause Heidi Klum’s tits are a matter of national significance. There was a time when this sorta thing was a cause for scandal. Today, it’s pretty commonplace, almost so as to be uneventful. But we’d be lying if we said it wasn’t a great event and the perfect transition into the weekend.

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IRINA SHAYK IN LINGERIE THROUGH THE BUSHES

We love the paparazzi, they lurk in bushes, and risk their very lives just to give us all a glimpse of something beautiful and not often seen, those intimate celebrity moments that we only wish we could share up close. Thanks to some bush lurking paparazzo, we have these incredible bikini shots of Irina Shayk.

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