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JENNIFER LAWRENCE OPENS UP ABOUT BEING FAT SHAMED AND FORCED TO DO A NUDE LINE-UP, BECAUSE HARVEY WEINSTEIN IS ONLY THE BEGINNING

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We have purposely not talked about Harvey Weinstein as that scandal has been unfolding and every celebrity and waitress who wanted to be a celebrity has been sharing stories about Harvey and others in Hollywood who have raped, molested or asked them to pass the salt. We’ve stayed out of it because everyone is looking to find something wrong with anything that anyone says that isn’t a full condemnation of Harvey, Hollywood and every straight guy who did something stupid once, or twice, or fifty times. Though, we have to agree once you get to Harvey Weinstein-level fucking perverted, there really isn’t anything you can say in his defense. You just gotta ride that hate train to the end of the line. That stop seems to be somewhere in the neighborhood of Harvey getting ass raped in prison and forced to suck down cum facials for the rest of his life. That’s social media justice. That’s what happens when we all get together and hate fuck someone’s life, though in Harvey’s case it sounds like it may be well deserved. So we haven’t said anything. But we had to break our silence when Jennifer Lawrence stepped out to add her story, about how Hollywood fucked her before she got big enough to say you need to cut me a $30 million check for that.

Jennifer recently talked about the days back when she was fat and producers let her know it. “When I was much younger and starting out I was told by producers of a film to lose 15 pounds in two weeks,” she recalled. “One girl before me had already been fired for not losing enough weight fast enough and during this time a female producer had me do a nude line-up with five women who were much, much thinner than me. We all stood side-by-side with only [tape] covering our privates. After that degrading and humiliating line-up, the female producer told me I should use the naked photos of myself as inspiration for my diet.” We sort of have that in common with Jennifer. We use her naked photos as inspiration, just not to lose weight, but to get though the day knowing no matter how big you get, the Internet can always fuck you.

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JENNIFER LAWRENCE NOT DONE SAPPING EVERY DROP OF SYMPATHY FROM HER NUDE LEAK SCANDAL, MAYBE SOME DESERVED

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Actress Jennifer Lawrence says she still lives in constant fear over another nude leak scandal, after she headlined the celebrity nude leak scandal that was dubbed “The Fappening” a few years back. She said recently, “I think people saw (the hacking) for what it was, which was a sex crime, but that feeling, I haven’t been able to get rid of it. Having your privacy violated constantly isn’t a problem if you’re perfect. But if you’re human, it’s terrifying. When my publicist calls me, I’m like, ‘Oh, my God, what is it?.’ Even when it’s nothing. I’m always waiting to get blindsided again.” We agree privacy is important, even to a celebrity. We agree The Fappening was traumatic for some. We agree Jennifer’s got a right to be mad it happened to her. But there is a really easy way to ensure that the next publicist call isn’t another nude picture leak: Stop fucking taking nude selfies.

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JENNIFER LAWRENCE STRIPPER POLE DANCING AND DRY HUMPING, NOT ALL THAT INTERESTING

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Jennifer Lawrence is much less interesting after the whole world has seen her naked. But RadarOnline found a way to make her much more interesting after publishing video of an April 27th stripper pole dance by Jennifer at the Beverly Hills Club in Vienna, Austria. According to RadarOnline, it’s “jaw-dropping video of America’s sweetheart cutting loose like a low-rent gogo dancer in a Euro-trash strip club: riding a stripper pole, spanking herself with dollar bills, and SO much more!” That may be overstating it, by a lot. It’s a tame video of Jennifer moving on a stripper stage, near a pole, dry humping some guy from behind, like she was wearing a strap on. Jennifer really didn’t give two fucks about the video, but responded on Facebook by saying, “Look, Nobody wants to be reminded that they tried to dance on a stripper pole by the internet. It was one of my best friend’s birthdays and I dropped my paranoia guard for one second to have fun. I’m not going to apologize, I had a BLAST that night. Ps that’s not a bra it’s an Alexander Wang top and I’m not gonna lie, I think my dancings pretty good. Even with no core strength.” If you have absolutely nothing better to do, then you can watch the video here.

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MAN WHO HACKED AND LEAKED A SHIT TON OF CELEBRITIES, INCLUDING JENNIFER LAWRENCE, GETS ONLY NINE MONTHS AND IT WAS SO WORTH IT

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The Fappening will be remembered forever, well, not forever, because you either have already forgotten or you didn’t even hear about it in the first place, but it was the greatest celebrity leak of all time. It ensnared every celebrity worth seeing naked, including Jennifer Lawrence. Well, the man behind the legend, Edward Majerczyk, 29, only got sentenced to nine-months in prison as part of a plea deal for hacking the electronic accounts of 30 celebrities and stealing private information, including nude videos and photos. He was also was ordered to pay $5,700 in restitution for counseling services for one undisclosed celebrity victim. He was accused of orchestrating a phishing scheme that illegally accessed more than 300 email and other online accounts, including Jennifer Lawrence’s. He pleaded guilty last year to one count of unauthorized access to a protected computer to obtain information. Edward’s lawyer, Thomas Needham, said he was “suffering from depression and looked to pornography websites and internet chat rooms in an attempt to fill some of the voids and disappointment he was feeling in his life.” He also said that the fallout from the hacking scandal “deeply affected” Edward, who has seen a therapist for anxiety and panic attacks. While we generally don’t condone criminal behavior, we have to say it seems to us worth it. Naked pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, anal rape in federal prison for nine months. Fair trade.

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JENNIFER LAWRENCE APOLOGIZES FOR SCRATCHING HER ASS ON SACRED HAWAIIAN ROCKS

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Twitter users are asking, ““What quirky racist adventure will Jennifer Lawrence go on next?” That’s because Jennifer Lawrence managed to offend the entire state of Hawaii and anyone with half a brain and sense of propriety on The Graham Norton Show. Jennifer laughed as she recounted how used rocks that are considered sacred by locals to scratch her ass while filming in Hawaii. “You were not supposed to sit on them because you weren’t supposed to expose your genitalia to them,” she explained, adding thought she was allowed to perch on the boulders because she was in a wet suit. She said that the combination of rock and wet suit led to some “butt itchin,’” which she satisfied with the rocks, leading one rock coming loose. Well, scratching your ass on sacred rocks probably isn’t the story to tell if you have half a brain. People were quick to criticize. Jennifer was quick to apologize, saying, “From Jen, to the internet: I meant absolutely no disrespect to the Hawaiian people. I really thought that I was being self deprecating about the fact that I was ‘the curse,’ but I understand the way it was perceived was not funny and I apologize if I offended anyone.”

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REDDIT TROLLING KEN BONE’S COMMENTS, REVEALS HE LIKES PREGGO PORN AND JENNIFER LAWRENCE’S BUTT HOLE

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Ken Bone is the new national infatuation, ever since he was selected to ask a question at the second presidential debate. But the Bone didn’t learn much from the presidential candidates he questioned. Hillary Clinton knows how to bury bodies. Donald Trump doesn’t, and his resurfacing past indiscretions should have been a warning for the Bone’s newfound celebrity. But it seems Bone doesn’t know how to bury the bodies either. He did a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) with the username StanGibson18. So of course people started looking at his past Reddit posts, with a few interesting gems. Hew was caught trolling a Preggo Porn SubReddit, and commenting “Beautiful human submarines” on a picture of pregnant women in bikinis. And the best of them all, as to Jennifer Lawrence’s nude leak, Bone reportedly said under StanGibson18, “Maybe she should have been more careful with her pics, but the bad guys are still the ones who sought them out and looked at them. By which I mean guys like me. I saw her butt hole. I liked it.” Ken Bone, folks. Ken Bone.

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Jennifer Lawrence’s response to Ken’s interest in her butt hole:

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WAS JUSTICE SERVED? ANOTHER CELEBRITY NUDE PHOTO HACKER ONLY GOT SIX MONTHS

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Just about every female celebrity hates nude photo hackers like Andrew Helton. He was not the source behind the infamous celebrity cell phone hack that came known as “The Fappening,” according to the federal prosecutors, but he engaged in similar hacking. He and others stole nude pictures of almost every celebrity worth seeing naked, many of whom had never appeared naked on film or in any other forum. They hit big names like Gabrielle Union, Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and Hope Solo. And all the celebrities vowed revenge, mostly in the form of lawsuits and calls to the Federal Bureau of Investigation. As of last week, revenge was served as Andrew got six months in prison, plus two years of supervised release. The judge described his phishing scam as a “very serious invasions of privacy,” but also said he considers the sentencing “part of a new beginning.” Andrew admitted that he hacked into hundreds of accounts and stole some 161 nude and explicit images from 13 victims. The “victims” were never identified.

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Ryan Collins, a 36-year-old from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, was directly linked to “The Fappening,” and back in March, he agreed to plead guilty to a felony violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act arising from illegally accessing a protected computer to obtain information. He used a phishing scheme similar to Andrew’s, to hack about 50 iCloud accounts and 73 Gmail accounts between November 2012 and September 2014, mostly of female celebrities. He negotiated a recommended 18-month prison sentence. Jennifer Lawrence was one of the most outspoken celebrities, who in an interview with Vanity Fair, called the hack a “sex crime.” “It is not a scandal,” she said. “… It is a sexual violation. It’s disgusting.” So we can’t imagine she is happy with the current sentences.

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JENNIFER LAWRENCE EMBRACES NUDITY FOR MEDIA COVERAGE

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There is an unwritten agreement, when celebrities (or those who want to be celebrities, or increase their Instagram following) show nudity, they receive instant and increased social attention and media coverage. Not all celebrities take advantage of the agreement, but almost all celebrities are starting to warm up to the fact that they need to show some skin to get noticed, if only ample cleavage (like Susan Sarandon did recently, cause nobody was talking about Susan Sarandon). Jennifer Lawrence, the model of prudence in Hollywood has finally come on board, it seems, even though some people, like in Latvia, were still talking about Jennifer. She was out in New York with a see through top, showing about as much topless breasts as you would expect from someone who formerly bragged about how she had not yet had to show her tits to get roles and media attention in Hollywood. We guess those days are gone.

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KATE UPTON’S NUDE BREASTS PULLED FROM THE CLOUDS (iCLOUD, TO BE EXACT) AND LEADKED INTO THE PUBLIC CONVERSATION

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Photoshop artists can put down their styluses. (You can see a compilation of the fake Kate Upon nudes they’ve worked so hard to produce on Sex.com (and the real ones are amassing there too.) Yesterday marked a release we have been waiting for for some time, though we hadn’t anticipated that Kate Upton’s nude breasts would descend down from the heavens, which they did, so to speak. The stunning (unauthorized) release of pictures of Kate Upton’s nude breasts, among a number of self-shot nude images of Kate from her smart phone, were part of a larger leak of hundreds of other intimate, private pictures of celebrities who’s accounts were breached in a massive iCloud storage attack by an alleged single hacker. Actress Jennifer Lawrence was also
sKATT5part of the hack, among 100 other celebrities. You might call it “celebrity revenge porn” on a much larger scale, or merely an invasion of privacy with incrementally larger consequence. But in reality it is the natural (even if perverse) evolution of the public obsession with celebrities, and in particular obsession with Kate Upton….nude. It is a desire enticed and emboldened by Kate Upton herself, and one that, while unlawful in the first instance, is now exposed for public consumption and debate.

    You might ask, why? What public debate? It may not be as politically salient as leaks from Edward Snowden or Julian Assange, but it is the same question, asked in the celebrity sphere: what does the public have a right to see? What is the dividing line between public and private? And will the public embrace this so far unknown hacker or deride him or her as a criminal? We favor the former.

There is nothing private about Kate Upton’s breasts. Kate herself made her breasts a topic of public conversation long before yesterday, and can hardly be surprised that people now want to see them. Kate is a model, to some a supermodel, squarely placing her body as a matter of public conversation. And she has profited immensely from the public interest in her breasts. From Sport’s Illustrated to other sexualized shoots for magazines, commercials, and on YouTube, Kate’s career has flourished in no small measure because of her breasts. And by flourished, we mean flourished. Kate Upton, only 22-years-old, made an estimated $82 million in the last year in combined income, making her the highest paid model in 2014 ($50 million ahead of her closest rival), according to People With Money magazine. She has an estimated net worth of $245 million. Admittedly, some of that is attributable to savvy business investment, but mostly it is a fortune amassed on the appeal and public interest in her body, particularly her breasts.

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And Kate is not shy about talking about her famous breasts. In a recent interview with The Sun, Kate lamented “I wish I had smaller boobs every day of my life” and that “[e]very single day I’m like, ‘Oh man, it would be so much easier’, especially if people didn’t constantly bring them up” (kinda like she just did…..) But in spite of it all, Kate added, “I love my boobs and I’m proud of my size. That’s an important message to young girls – love who you are and be proud of who you are.” And so she should, Kate’s boobs have been the center-piece of her popularity. Her boobs have been the defining characteristic of her roles in both the films The Three Stooges and The Other Woman, as the busty blonde beauty on the screen (she also made a brief appearance in
the same type of role in Tower Heist). Her 20-million-viewer Cat Daddy YouTube Video for Terry Richardson was all about her boobs, as she Cat-Daddied in a bikini, with over-sized flapjack boobs flopping all around (from our perspective, a truly inspired video), as well as in her unforgettable “Teach Me How to Dougie” video at the Los Angeles Clippers game in 2011. Kate Upton’s boobs are almost the only thing anyone talks about.

To her credit, up till now, Kate has kept them hidden. In an interview with Detail.com, Kate explained why she has not allowed herself to be photographed nude, saying, “Your body is art, your body is beautiful, and to be photographed in that way is amazing and it’s received in a very positive way. But with social media and the Internet and not so great blogs and the attention like that, I don’t think that my pictures would be received in the way that I’d want them to be received. That’s why I’ve stayed away from them. … I think social media and the Internet has prevented me from putting myself out there like that.” But that didn’t stop Kate from taking nude pictures of herself, and storing them in a semi-public space…..didn’t she watch the movie Sex Tape?

But who is Kate to decide how the public conversation about her breasts should take shape? You might say, she’s Kate Upton, and they’re her breasts. And we would agree, if Kate remained some relative nobody from Michigan. But she’s Kate Upton. She put her breasts into the public conversation (repeatedly) when profitable to her. She made them a national obsession, above and beyond the national obsession with breasts generally. You may contrast Kate Upton’s reluctance to reveal her breasts against, for example, the Free The Nipple, GoTopless and Femen movements, which all seek to demystify the female breasts as sexual organs and their sexual exploitation, mostly by men, but by women too. And in particular, Kate Upton.

sKAT1    No doubt the real injury to Kate apart from any claim of an invasion of privacy, is the potential loss to her profiting from exposing her breasts herself, in Playboy or some other publication. Actress Keira Knightley recently posed topless for Interview magazine. Her breasts have been a topic of conversation for some time. Kate simply fell victim to a demand that had spiked to a fever pitch, and she lost control of the exploitation that she has for some time favored. What we’re saying in this: In the United States, no one controls free speech. Kate attempted a kind of control that not even Presidents could wield. And like it or not, long before yesterday, Kate Upon’s breasts became matters of a public interest so strong that it was bound to at some point outweigh her privacy, and spill over into a public exposure, as it did yesterday. Inch by inch she was complicit in the erosion of her privacy.

    And now they’re ours – the public’s. Because, in spite of our appeals to morality, this is who we are as a nation. The debate isn’t about Kate, her privacy or her breasts; the debate is about us. We wanted her breasts, and we wanted them so much that were willing to be complicit in the hacking. To cause it to happen. To spread the pictures around the Internet. And to continue to search for them. The debate is what we feel we have a right to see because of who we are as a people. And we felt we had the right to see Kate Upon’s breasts. What does that say about us, that’s the debate.

And Kate, by the way, having now seen them, we love them too.

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THE GREATEST HACK OF THE CENTURY, NUDE PICS OF JENNIFER LAWERENCE, KATE UPTON AND TONS MORE…

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Lawyers are busy this Labor Day weekend, furiously trying to send cease and decist emails and letters to websites across the country for posting nude pictures of a series of celebrities who are part of the greatest hack of the century. Some 100 celebrities were all part of an iCloud hack. Top of the list was Jennifer Lawrence, but also on the list were Kate Upton, Kristen Ritter, Bar Refaeli, Arianna Grande, Victoria Justice, McKayla Maroney, Brie Larson, Lea Michele, Kirsten Dunst, Becca Tobon, Jessica Brown Findlay, and Melissa Benoist. The biggest story, of course, is Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton. Jennifer Lawrence has already confirmed that the pictures of her are authentic. Mary Elizabeth Winstead also confirmed her pictures are real. Kate Upon’s people are “looking into” it, but recent reports are that they have now confirmed the pictures are real. Victoria Justice and Arianna Grande are denying that their pictures are real. “These so called nudes of me are FAKE people,” Victoria tweeted. “Let me nip this in the bud right now. *pun intended.*” The photos were originally posted in 4chan.org, but have also appeared on Reddit.

And the legal threats are pouring in. “This is a flagrant violation of privacy,” Jennifer’s representatives told TMZ. “The authorities have been contacted, and will prosecute anyone who posts the stolen photos of Jennifer Lawrence.” And so too is the shaming. “To those of you looking at photos I took with my husband years ago in the privacy of our home, hope you feel great about yourselves,” Winstead tweeted. Glee celebrity Becca Tobin also tweeted: “Merry XXXmas!”

Our lawyers have advised us to stay out of this one. So until the legal threats settle down, we’ll just tell you were you can find them: New Celeb Leaked Pics All in One Place on Reddit. But you better look fast, they are dropping off like flies. And they’re also showing up on Sex.com, but who knows how long they’ll stay up there either, so click here. And as you’re looking, and likely masturbating, like Mary Winstead, we hope you feel great about yourselves. This one’s just a fake:

sJLAW1

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