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THE MOST SEXUALLY DISEASED STATES IN THE UNITED STATES, ALAKSA WE’RE LOOKING AT YOU

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Alaska is the most sexually diseased state in the United States, followed by Louisiana and North Carolina, according to Jimmy Kimmel. So now you know where not to go for spring break. Cause that one-night stand is likely going to end with a shot of penicillin if you do. Here’s the full break-down of the ranking of each state. Congratulations to New Hampshire, coming in last.

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HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED PORN AT WORK

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Don’t lie. Don’t lie. You’ve watched at least some porn at work. In light of a recent federal report about federal employees caught watching porn, Jimmy Kimmel hit the streets to ask. “According to an investigation done by the NBC News team in Washington D.C., almost 100 federal employees—these are people who work for the government—have either been caught or admitted to watching pornography at work,” Jimmy said. “I don’t know, 100 seems low actually to me. One federal worker, though, admitted to spending six hours a day looking at images and videos.” Another federal worker, Kimmel added, admitted to watching basically 31 eight-hour workdays watching porn. Here is what people said on the streets.

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CHARLIZE THERON INVITED PRESIDENT OBAMA TO A STRIP CLUB

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In an effort to help President Obama increase his demographic base, Charlize Theron revealed on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show, she invited the President to join her at a strip club. We wholly agree the patronage there is probably a demographic the President has not likely penetrated. But since he is coming to the end of his second term leading the free world, Obama doesn’t much have a need for a demographic anymore. So he turned downed Charlize’s gracious offer to stuff dollar bills down the G-strings of topless strippers. Though, we pretty much figured that’s all retired presidents do in their spare time, so maybe Obama’s schedule was already packed. We can only say this, it’s an offer we certainly wouldn’t have turned down.

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JIMMY KIMMEL JOKES FOX NEWS INTERVIEW WITH BELLE KNOX

Porn star Belle Knox, also a student at Duke University, has been on the interview circuit since she was outed by a classmate. You’ve probably heard the news. Here’s a clip from one of her interviews replayed by Jimmy Kimmel.



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