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JORDAN CARVER GOES OUT ON TOP

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Jordan Carver has called it quits. She’s been a “glamour model” of sorts, but as far as we are aware only truly nude once. The rest has been implied nude work and more pinup or bikini style work. She was, well, still is, an impressive 32HH. But according to Boobpedia.com, because of recommended adjustments in suggested bra sizes, “her correct bra size is now almost certainly 30JJ.” Whatever the size of her tits, Jordan Carver has decided to retire, at age 31. She is like the boxer who goes out in his prime, rather than fighting until he is too punch drunk to stand (or in Jordan’s case until her tits sag to her knees and gravity forces her to get her implants removed). We agree that is the best way for anyone to go, while you are still on top and admired. Jordan made a video with different reasons, but the face remains, this is all we have left to remember Jordan by now.

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TEN THINGS JORDAN CARVER CAN’T DO AND CAN DO WITH HER ENORMOUS BOOBS

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We were recently turned on to these two videos from Jordan Carver’s YouTube channel, but they are from 2014. Even though they are older, we don’t mind sharing for those of you, like us, who are just getting clued into them. In the caption, Jordan laments that, “[h]aving big boobs is wonderful but not always advantageous,” but in the next video, admits, “[h]aving big boobs does have its perks.” We have no doubt. If you were ever curious about why having big boobs is both good and bad, well, Jordan Carver gives you some unique insight, cause her’s are huge, like really huge.

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JORDAN CARVER IS DROPPING SERIOUS TRUTH BOMBS

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Mediate on this. Super busty model Jordan Carver, like just about every other model on Instagram, not only drops shock and awe ass bikini and cleavage pictures, but words of wisdom on life, love and just shit that makes you go “hmmmmmmm.” (Arensio Hall flashback…..) Jordan recently dropped both, saying on her Instagram page “Women that don’t cook, clean, or suck dick always ask ‘where are all the good men?’ The good men just finished eating dinner and they’re relaxing in a clean house about to get their dick sucked.” Here’s the link. Think on it. Mediate on it. Femenists get fucking made about. But ain’t it the truth….

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JORDAN CARVER SPANKED BY MELANIE MULLER IN THE BOXING RING

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On Saturday, glamour model Jordan Carver stood toe to toe with former porn star Melanie Muller (known also as Scarlet Young), in a four round “Celebrity Boxing” UFC match in Germany. Melanie won in a unanimous decision. And at first we thought this was just a girl fight, but after watching the video on YouTube, we were pretty impressed. These girls traded some serious blows. We could have only been more impressed if it was nude mud wrestling. Maybe next time….

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