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BLAC CHYNA SUES THE KARDASHIANS, AND THIS MEANS WAR

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The Kardashians are about as close to royalty as we get in America. They are an iconic family, with money, power and influence. They aren’t influential like the Kennedy’s were. No, they are 10 times more powerful. You don’t want to fuck with the Kardashians. But Blac Chyna ain’t scared, foolishly or well, even more foolishly. She fucked Rob Kardashian. And now she’s looking to fuck them all. She sued the Kardashians in a lawsuit filed earlier this week in Los Angeles Superior Court, claiming the they interfered with a potential second season of her E! reality show, “Rob & Chyna” after the couple split last year. “Slut-shaming is wrong. Revenge porn is illegal,” said Lisa Bloom, Blac Chyna’s attorney. “Proud to stand with Blac Chyna as she stands up for her rights. We are seeking accountability and justice. I am very confident we will be successful.” Blac is suing all the Kardashians for defamation, interference with contractual relations and interference with prospective economic relations. Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner are all being sued in the lawsuit. Blac also accuses Rob of physical abuse and distribution of private materials. Blac’s real name is Angela White. She claims the family “defamed” her in an effort to “destroy” her career, and that she experienced “personal, professional and financial harm” as a result. She is asking for unspecified damages. And we wish her the best. But we know this won’t go well for Blac. You just can’t fuck the Kardashians, well, not unless you do it on video and sell it for profit.

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KYLIE JENNER IS 20, HALF-NAKED AND HER TWO MOMS COULDN’T BE MORE PROUD

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Kylie Jenner, 20, is almost all-growed up. She still can’t legally drink, but at 18 you have every right to get naked for money, and John Q. Law can’t do shit. Kylie has been taking full advantage of her emancipation from jail bait (as any Kardashian would), and did again recently on her birthday yesterday, sharing partial nudes in lingerie on her Instagram page. It wasn’t exactly much to get a stiff woody over, but it ain’t exactly half-chub either.

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KYLIE JENNER SHADOWS OF NIPPLES BARELY MAKES THE CUT

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We were on the fence on Kylie Jenner today. One because a Kardashian going nude or even partly nude is almost a daily occurrence, so no big whoop. Two because Kylie is barely flirting the transparent nipple line, which is less interesting still. But Kardashian news is news. They still have a whole show dedicated to keeping you informed about what is the most recent mundanity in the Kardashian world. So this shoot of Kylie for V magazine is just more grease to turn the Kardashian machine. And we just can’t seem to break away from the machine.

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WELCOME TO THE KYLIE JENNER GUN SHOW, CHECK OUT THOSE GUNS

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The Kardashian klan is truly blessed, physically we mean, from ass to tits. And fortunately for the sycophants of the world, they are pleased to offer their blessed bodies for your suck up comments and praise on Instagram. We don’t mean that in a bad way. We’re sycophants as much as the next guy, but in a much more cynical way. To appease our needs, Kylie Jenner went to Instagram to put on a gun show. She pulled out the big guns, the top set (guns, not buns). And the sycophants we are, we couldn’t but heap praise on her chest. Lovely lady lumps. If we had dollar bills in our pockets, we’d through a few.

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KYLIE EXPOSES KENDALL’S NIPPLE RING ON INSTAGRAM

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Instagram’s no female nipples policy has made it a haven for female nipples in protest. The most recent nipple to flash Instagram came from the Jenner girls. Kylie Jenner posted a picture of herself and Kendall, with Kendall in a transparent bra and nipple ring exposed. She said, “Through @490tx eyes,” referring to Moises Arias, who shot the picture. Kendall hasn’t been shy about talking about her nipples and piercing. “Having my nipple pierced isn’t really something I make a big deal of, but I think people are obsessed with the topic because it seems so unexpected of me,” Kendall said last year. “Before I even decided to go for it, I just liked showing my nipples through some of my outfits; there’s something understated, yet sexy about it.” We couldn’t agree more, there’s something sexy about nipples.

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KYLIE JENNER NAKED WITH TYGA, JUST NOT THE SEX TAPE YOU’VE BEEN HOPING FOR

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So far, we haven’t seen any evidence of the rumored Kylie Jenner and Tyga sex tape. But who really needs a sex tape, when they are both willing to get naked and perform erotic scenes just for the hell of it. Kylie and Tyga recently performed in a sensual short film for Sasha Samsonova. “The whole deal with this video is that it’s a very personal experience,” Samsonova told the W Magazine. “It’s like you’re watching this person from a point of view that has never been seen before.” She added, “It’s super raw footage. As soon as my shoots with Kylie come out, so many people write on my page and rant about how it’s all Photoshop, Photoshop, Photoshop. But the thing about this video is that there’s no post-production work whatsoever. It’s only cut together. It’s very raw, and we tried to keep it that way — no skin retouching, nothing.”

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KYLIE JENNER BRALESS IN THE MORNING

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With still little social media from Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner having taken a social media break (though back now), Kylie Jenner has been almost all we’ve had to talk about. Kylie has worn the crown of queen of social media well. She recently posted braless white one piece pictures from one of her photoshoots, heavy emphasis on her nipples. In posting the pictures, she didn’t say much on Instagram, not that she hadn’t said all she needed to already with just the pictures.

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KYLIE JENNER IS CLEARLY NOW THE KARDASHIAN STANDARD-BEARER

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With Kim Kardashian gone, utterly gone, from social media, either because she is still too traumatized from her Paris robbery or more likely as some have speculated, because she got her ass implants removed and needs an excuse to be out of the public eye, Kylie Jenner is continually hitting our desks for her sexy, but not completely all-out-ass-nude-like-her-half-sister-Kim, pictures. Again, modeling her own lingerie for The Kylie Shop, Kylie comes out and delivers, sexy, but subtly, only partly revealing her nipples to sell panties and other things that the women who buy them don’t look even half as good in. Reality hurts, people. But we tell the truth anyway.

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KYLIE JENNER IN HER BRA AND KNICKERS FOR PRETTYLITTLETHING

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We are just wondering how much PrettyLittleThing paid Kylie Jenner to sport their underwear line on her Instagram page, to her almost 80 million followers. Kylie said, “Love my new co-ord from PrettyLittleThing.com”. Kardashians don’t come cheap. Neither do Jenners. PrettyLittleThing was quick to promote the nod themselves, saying, “King Ky just KILLED us @kyliejenner wearing our PrettyLittleThing sports bra + knickers set on site RN”. Whatever. Any opportunity that gets Kylie Jenner have naked in her bra and knickers is a good thing in our book.

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KYLIE JENNER NAKED DRIPPING BLUE PAINT

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Kylie Jenner released on Instagram her “unreleased project with @sashasamsonova,” which was her naked body covered in blue paint. It seems part of the evolving ways in which the Kardashian and Jenner klan find new ways to flash their breasts on Instagram. Like evolution, breasts find a way to expose themselves, especially when attached to Kim, Khloe, Kylie and Kendall.



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KYLIE JENNER HALLOWEEN COWGIRL AND READY FOR THE RODEO

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While Kim Kardashian has been radio silent, Kylie Jenner has been thankfully filling the void. But that is a big void, so Kylie can only do her best. She posted her Halloween costume to Instagram. The assless chaps were a nice touch to her cowgirl costume, but they weren’t totally assless because Kylie was wearing boy shorts. Kim would have went assless (cause otherwise what’s the point of assless chaps?).

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KYLIE JENNER BACK ON SOCIAL MEDIA KEEPING UP THE KARDASHIAN LEGACY

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After her robbery at gunpoint in Paris, Kim Kardashian and Keeping Up With The Kardashians may be on hold, but Kylie Jenner has returned to social media after the incident, along with her sisters, except Kim. Kylie posted an underwear mirror selfie partly nude in her bathroom, with the simple title, “Morning.” The Kardashian’s are slowly returning to social media, but have still dramatically limited their public exposure and cancelled events and appearances. Kylie’s near-nude selfie was the first indication that the Kardashian legacy is likely to continue, after a little time to heal.

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KYLIE JENNER BOOTY AND BRAIDS OUT TRYING TO GET HER BLACK CARD

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Kylie Jenner wants a black card badly, or so it seems. Well, the black card while maintaining her white card (sorta like a dual citizenship). She has the black rapper boyfriend. She has the booty. And she now has the braids. But unfortunately for cultural misappropriation enthusiasts, that’s not enough to convert. Well, not in modern society. But fortunately for her, Kylie may be able to become the president of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the NAACP, where you can be “biologically white” but “identify” as black.

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KYLIE JENNER ENTREPRENEURING SHIT WITH HOT BODY PICS

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Kylie Jenner may only be 18, but in Kardashian years, she should have already released her dick sucking sex tape and posed nude for at least 5 magazine covers by now. It seems though that Kylie Jenner is trying to negotiate a path a little less slutty, the road less traveled by a Kardashian. But only sort of. She is releasing a new line of lipstick (it’s already out now). So Kim is about the ass. Kylie is about the oral. In priming the preteen wannabe Kardashians who are set to buy the lipstick brand by the millions, Kylie released some promo pictures. Of course they have little to do with the lipstick, and more about showing off her body, but if you look hard enough, you will notice she is wearing her new line. She posted on Instagram last week, “@kyliecosmetics are you guys ready for MAJESTY? 6/16” and “kyliejennerMAJESTY• 2 DAYS”. We know we’re a bit late on this, we have some Kardashian public exhibitionism and social media prostitution to catch up on.

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IS THERE A KYLIE JENNER AND TYGA SEX TAPE?

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Who knows with these things. Maybe there is a Kylie Jenner and Tyga sex tape being shopped around, maybe not. What we do know is that if there is one, you’ll likely see it soon. RadarOnline has said that someone is “shopping around a graphic screenshot that is claimed to be from a sex tape Jenner made with Tyga before their breakup.” They said they have “viewed the X-rated photo at the center of the new allegations. A grainy screenshot, it features a young woman performing a sexual act on an African-American male. There are no identifying marks that suggest it is Jenner or her ex-boyfriend.” The seller claims it is a 14 minute video and the screenshot was from a screen grab from a sex tape that was released on Tyga’s website on May 18, but according to RadarOnline, the cached versions of Tyga’s website does not have a record of such a post. And the Kardashian camp is denying it, which leads us to believe this may be a fake, because that is how the Kardashian family made their fortune, from Kim Kardashian’s sex tape with RayJ. So why deny another super money maker?

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Supposedly, RadarOnline reported that a source close to the family said, “Tyga is not stupid enough to go against Kardashian lawyers and break an NDA.” And added, “Kris told him flat out that if he ever messes with Kylie’s image, she will personally destroy him, and Kanye will make sure he never works again.” “If Tyga does have video of him and Kylie having sex it will never see the light of day,” the source said. So maybe it is real, and the denial stems from the fact that the Kardashian family does not want to extend Kim’s shame, especially when they’ve already made a fortune and their future is in trying to be a normal family, Bruce Jenner notwithstanding.



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KYLIE JENNER IS SOCIAL MEDIA EYE CANDY BUT NOT YET MATURED

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Who can blame Kylie Jenner, she’s still only 18. And sure enough she is social media eye candy, but she has not channeled her inner Kardashian (cause she’s a Jenner, of course, so we may come to find she wants to become a man one day soon), and release more mature content for the consumption of her 60 million followers. Instead, she’s pushing her swimwear line. Business savvy perhaps, but moderately boring. If not for being Kylie Jenner we would have passed this morning. She can do better.

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