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TALLIA STORM’S NIPPLE CREATES A BIGGER STORM THAN HER MUSIC

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Scottish singer Tallia Storm, 18, went out to The Marie Claire Future Shapers Awards in London. She did it braless in a black jacket, so of course her nipple came out, intentionally or accidentally, though, it doesn’t even matter. We can’t for the life of us think of a Tallia Storm song. But 18-year-old nipple is a rather memorable event.

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TALLIA STORM GOES SEE THROUGH AND BRALESS

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It’s fair to say that Caroline Vreeland got more milage out of her see through dress and nipples than singer Tallia Storm. But Tallia didn’t exactly take the back seat either, when she pulled out her nips for London’s Fashion Week. Tallia posted on Instagram, “Amazing time at @amandawakeley AW/17 campaign launch! Thank you for dressing me Amanda – your new collection is so beautiful!”. Tallia was partying all over London in her see through exposed breasts and nipples. But that is really what Fashion Week is all about.

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WAITRESS VIVIANA ROSS BANGED ORLANDO BLOOM, GOT FIRED AND BRAGGED ABOUT IT ALL, CAUSE FEMINISM PAVED THE WAY

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It used to be that only guys fucked women and bragged about it the next day. But today, men and women are equal, well, except in pay scale, so women still have shit to be angry about. And not really equal in a lot of other ways, but we aren’t here doing social justice. They are at least equal now in the ability to try to fuck partners of the opposite sex (or the same sex, cause sexual orientation equality is a thing now too), and then shamelessly brag about it to the world. Viviana Ross was a waitress at Chiltern Firehouse in London’s West End. Actor Orlando Bloom had been staying there, and he finally invited her to his room for a drink (a fuck). According to a “friend,” who we can only assume is Viviana herself, “There was real electricity between her and Orlando from the moment they saw each other. She said she had an amazing time and his body was very good. He was an exceptionally good lover.” The “friend” goes on to say, ““After her shift on the Friday night she got changed into normal clothes, left the bar and bumped into Orlando outside. They chatted and he asked her to join him in his room for a drink. Of course she said ‘Yes’. She said it was like fireworks were going off between them. In the room they had a gin and tonic and then started kissing. He made the first moves. He’d been staying at the hotel for five days and the sexual tension had been building up. In the morning he left early for an interview and Viviana stayed in bed — but that was a mistake.”

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A mistake because the next morning, the manager walked in to find Viviana naked in the suit. And she was fired for “fraternising with clients.” The friend addd, though, that Viviana did not regret the “night of incredible sex,” even though she was “hurt” by the dismissal. The friend also said, “She didn’t get Orlando’s number so he won’t know what happened to her. I think he’d be angry if he knew she had been sacked.” Well, he sure as fuck knows now that the story has been splashed all over the tabloids. But what a guy way to try to get a guy’s number after he fucked you and left. Even if a bit stalker-ish. Viviana is an aspiring actress. But after the story made headlines, Viviana said directly, “I don’t work at the Firehouse anymore and I won’t comment on anything that happened there.” Not that there was much need any more.



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SARAH HALPIN DOES TOPLESS

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Sarah Halpin is a British, London-based model with her sister Joanna. They have blog, that they describe by saying, “We’re sisters. Models. Image makers. Underpinned by a shared love for clean, minimal and carefully considered aesthetics. And this blog is our creative outlet.” It features Joanna and Sarah in panties and naked a lot. Sarah recently posed nude, and you might just want to check her out. What She Said Blog.

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LATEYSHA GRACE BRALESS IN PINK FISHNET DRESS

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Lateysha Grace, 24, is a British reality celebrity, branded a Bargain Bucket Beyonce. We’ll let you make judgements for yourself. Like any reality celebrity, Lateysha was on the scene for Sixty6 Magazine launch party in London, no bra in a fishnets dress. We see nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong at all. Go ahead Fake Bey…

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HOLLY HORNE IS SMOKIN’ HOT

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Holly Horne has collaborated with photographer Haris Nukem before. They did a similar nude series called “Golden Girl” for Last Daze magazine. She lit it up again for a smoking hot sequel with Harris. From what we gather, Holly is a London-born model and actress, blonde, with ice blue eyes. And she’s not afraid to get naked, a lot. Smoke em’ if you got em’.

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LIZIANE GUTIERREZ’S LONDON BOOTY BIKE RIDE

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Liziane Gutierrez is the Brazilian model probably best known for claiming Chris Brown hit her at a party in Las Vegas. She is a social media personality, and she often shows up at parties with celebrities. But that game is getting tougher for Liziane as she ages. It happens to the best of us. As a social media personality, and an aging one, Liziane is constantly busy staging photo shoots to get attention (bills gotta get paid), which mostly focus on her phat Brazilian ass. She was recently on the streets of London doing just that. Whatever else may be aging, her booty is near timeless, and seems to be maturing nicely.

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LINDSAY LOHAN MADE IT TO 30, BUT NOW SHE’S OPENING NIGHT CLUBS, SO BETS ARE BACK ON

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Who would have thought that Michael Jackson, Prince and Whitney Houston would have died of drug related overdoses before Lindsay Lohan. No one in their right mind was betting that Lindsay would see 30 years old. But she did this year. Good for Lindsay. But she’s now tempting fate, opening nightclubs named after herself. On Saturday, Lindsay opened her first LOHAN Nightclub, in Athens, Greece with business partner and restaurateur Dennis Papageorgiou. And there are plans for more, in Hong Kong, New York and Istanbul. Lindsay recently talked about how well she’s doing now that she moved to London, saying, “I became very involved with meditation — Deepak Chopra [and] transcendental meditation,” she explained. “This became a very big ritual of my life. I took the time to kind of take out and weed out the bad, and only keep the good. Then I moved to London because New York was too fast for me, because I slowed down and it kept going, and I couldn’t keep up and I wasn’t meant to. Moving to London was the best thing I’ve done for myself. I think as you grow up, life changes and you experience new things.” We wish Lindsay well. We truly do. But our money is on 32.

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COFFEE AND A BLOWJOB RESTAURANT NOW SAYS IT WILL BE USING SEX ROBOTS, AS IF IT WASN’T WEIRD ENOUGH ALREADY

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A “visionary” entrepreneur, Bradley Charvet, had a dream, a coffee shop where you could order a latte and get a blowjob from a prostitute at the same time, just like in Dr. BJ’s Salon in Bangkok, Thailand. Bradley is set to open his first blowjob coffee shop in Geneva, Switzerland, but his plans to bring his dream to London have fizzled into a weird and sordid hallucination. Instead of using prostitutes like he plans in Switzerland where prostitution is legal, in London, Bradley now says he will rely entirely on sex robots (because prostitution is not legal in London). He said the sex-bots will be programmable to a person’s needs and will soon be seen as “totally normal.” The anticipated 15-minute oral sex session with an espresso is expected to cost £60 (US$78). “Sex robots will always be pleasing and could even become better at technique because they would be programmable to a person’s need,” he told the Daily Star Online. “They will improve the sex service. It’s totally normal to see a new way of using robots and others sex toys to have pleasure.” It gets weirder, as Bradley added, “The bar is the place to meet people, to extend your network and the way to start the morning. What could be better than meet your friends around a cafe and to enjoy a nice blow job from a sex robot?”

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Completely missing the very sketchy scene he is setting, Bradley continued to press his idea, saying “Everyone is drinking coffee daily. And nothing is better to start a working day than engaging in sexual action, US research has found. People like to chat before they make love. It makes sense the robots will speak and tease men’s desire.” As to what these sex robots would look like, he said, that eight robots would be dressed in a variety of costumes, “Uniforms are going to be worn: nurse, police, student and secretary.” We give it 3 weeks before going under. Now live prostitutes giving blowjobs in a cafe, that’s not weird at all. We wish him luck in Geneva.



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KATIE PRICE KNOWS HOW TO PROMOTE A BOOK, BUT STILL CLAIMS IT WAS A “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION”

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Former nude model Katie Price, 38, has claimed “wardrobe malfunction” yesterday when she launched her latest autobiography, Reborn, in London. After breaking out of a giant egg, Katie is claiming she was oblivious to the fact that her jumbo sized breast implants and nipples were transparently popping out of her soaked golden catsuit, which the “official” story was soaked because her hair was wet. None of this makes any sense to us. It doesn’t explain why she was wearing panties underneath but not a bra. It doesn’t explain why her hair was so wet in the first place. But we’ll play along. “Wardrobe Malfunction.” Good play, Katie. Though, we’re not likely going to buy the book.

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WHY ANYONE CARES ABOUT LADY GAGA’S NIPPLE WE’LL NEVER KNOW

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Lady Gaga may be musically talented, we’ll admit that. But Lady Gaga has never been a sex symbol or considered very attractive. She’s been nude way more than we would care to discuss. And every time we’ve had to give it some mention, because for some reason Lady Gaga nude is news. We’ll never understand. But, we figure, any celebrity nude is news to somebody. So today, unfortunately, Lady Gaga is nude-ish again, and it is news to someone. Will the Lady Gaga nipple fans please stand up? No, really, we want to know who you are and what happened to you in childhood that made Lady Gaga’s nipple of interest. As you’ve probably gathered by now, Lady Gaga had a brief nipple exposure, while she was in London. According to news outlets, she had a couple (so we reluctantly added an extra picture of her other underboob and see through nipple look). We still don’t understand. And we recognize that we are complicit in making this fugly nipple story news.

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USAIN BOLT WAS GIVING OUT MEDALS TO GIRLS WHO SHOWED THEIR TITS, AND THEY WERE ALL GOLD

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The stories of Usain Bolt’s philandering at the Rio Olympics games are become legendary. Now he’s in London and the stories continue to pour in. The most recent story goes, according to a source, “Usain had been partying at Tape nightclub and was in a really cheeky mood. At first everyone was just goofing around but he started complimenting some of the ladies on their cleavage and encouraged two to flash him and a pal. Then he dished out his medals while music played from his iPhone. He was laughing a lot, pretending it was like Rio.” And then it continued back at his hotel, where he invited more girls. He had the girls flash their tits to him and then made them stand as if on a podium. He then took out his 100m, 200m and relay golds from a bag and laid them on a table. Holding his own ceremonies of sorts, he “awarded” each of them a medal. When one girl asked who had come in first, he said: “It’s all gold. There are no losers.” When asked earlier when he arrived about his plans in London, Usain told The Sun, “I am here to sleep in the day, party in the night. London is the best city for me right now.” It is not clear how much sleep he’s getting, but the party stories seem to never end. How lucky to be the fastest man in the world.

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MILO MOIRE LETS PEOPLE FEEL HER TITS AND PUSSY IN PUBLIC AS PERFORMANCE ART

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From Düsseldorf to London to Amsterdam, performance artist Milo Moire has taken her “Mirror Box” on the road, allowing strangers to grope her bare tits and pussy for art. Milo explained the philosophy behind or ar, writing “‘Mirror Box’ is a societal reflection of human sexuality. It’s a expanded reenactment of the ‘Tap and Touch Cinema’ (1968) and a homage to the Austrian artist VALIE EXPORT, who was already fighting for women’s rights in the 1960s through artistic actions. Artist Milo Moiré utilises her body as an instrument, even as a weapon, in order to depict and disrupt power structures. She aggressively seeks the feminine expression of sexual self-determination and explores the boundaries of art and bourgeois morality.” In more pedestrian terms, “Performance artist Milo Moiré wears a trapezoidal skirt made up of mirrored surfaces; a rectangular opening at the front is closed off by a red curtain. With a megaphone she invites passers-by to reach into the opening for 30 seconds, in order to touch her vagina. ‘I am standing here today for women’s rights and sexual self-determination. Women have a sexuality, just like men have one. However, women decide for themselves when and how they want to be touched and when they don’t.'” The end result? Milo says, “What happens when a woman puts her sexuality on public display, assertively takes the initiative and lays out clear rules for the intimate interaction? The consensual nature of sexual acts becomes a symbol here. Moiré has additionally taken the liberty of showing female desire, thus giving women a sexual voice.” The video is censored on YouTube, of course, but we added an uncensored picture.

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SKINNY GIRLS NOT ALLOWED

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London’s transportation system, Transport for London, is banning negative body images for the next month in an effort to promote body positive messages. That is because it is an election year in London, and mayor Sadiq Khan is pledging as part of his campaign to ban adverts promoting “unhealthy or unrealistic” body images. Mayor Khan said, “As the father of two teenage girls, I am extremely concerned about this kind of advertising which can demean people, particularly women, and make them ashamed of their bodies. It is high time it came to an end.” Graeme Craig, TfL Commercial Development Director, said: “Advertising on our network is unlike TV, online and print media. Our customers cannot simply switch off or turn a page if an advertisement offends or upsets them and we have a duty to ensure the copy we carry reflects that unique environment.” Much of the political pandering is due to a Protein World “beach body ready” promotional poster that caused some outrage last year, and were defaced in London tube stations. A petition was started calling for the advertisements to be banned, but the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) ruled the campaign with a bikini-clad female model was neither offensive nor irresponsible.

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But the reaction to the ban has been mixed. On the BBC London Facebook page, users like Magdalena Michalik said, “Please ban it. I don’t want my children to look at it!” while others warned it was the start of the “Islamification” of London.
Sharene Kirchler said, “What happened to free speech? What happened to not being offended by everything. Why is it a matter of state to decide when something so subjective is to be allowed or not?” We agree. We just don’t see how body shaming skinny girls promotes positive body images.

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WORK HARD, EAT NAKED IN LONDON

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The food in London is shit, let’s just be honest. But a new London restaurant is offering a foodie experience that is definitely unique, and it is a success even before its open. 32,000 people have signed up to eat a Bunyadi, a pop-up restaurant billed as the London’s first “naked food experience.” It is scheduled to open in June, and the restaurant only has 42 seats, so if you’re doing the math, it might be a while before you get a chance to get your grub on with nothing on. “I’m both surprised and excited by the response,” said Seb Lyall, whose company Lollipop is behind the restaurant. “People want to be naked. Whether it’s on a beach or in a sauna, if the opportunity is there to be in a natural state, they will take it.” Better still, in the nude area, the wait staff are naked too! Diners will be able to choose between clothed and “naked and pure” seating areas, that’s where your wait staff will be naked to, but only “semi-nude.” Seb said Bunyadi will offer customers “true liberation” by providing both naked, unprocessed food and an environment unspoiled by modern technology or attitudes. “I’m inspired by the movement to more natural, stripped-back things,” he added. But cell phones are allowed, cause of course selfies would abound.

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ANGELA CRICKMORE LOST TONS OF WEIGHT, ALSO HER HUSBAND

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Angela Crickmore, 36, is from London, and only a few years ago she was obese; she was 5’1″ and 182 pounds. But she was happy. “I felt beautiful. My husband thought I was beautiful,” Angela said. Nonetheless, “the outside pressure from friends and family made me very self-conscious.” So Angela became a super workout freak, and lost tons of weight, walking and then exercising and eating healthy. Now she’s got rock hard abs, perhaps a bit too far on the other end of the spectrum. Here is a picture of her dramatic transformation. With the weight, however, Angela also lost her husband. Reflecting, Angela believed her healthy lifestyle drove a wedge between her and her husband as their priorities changed. Not that Angela needs a man, since they’ll likely be many in London crawling to get up next to Angela, with her new hot body, even if a bit over-muscled. And as you might expect, the debate now is whether Angela’s transformation is an inspiration for others struggling to loose weight and with weight issues, or simply more newly-thin fat people shaming that isn’t helpful. We’ll go with inspiration, cause damn if Angela ain’t much hotter. What guy doesn’t love a woman who could beat the shit out of him. Hmmmm…..mistress porn.

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