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FARRAH ABRAHAM DROPPED HER MASTURBATION WEBCAM LAST NIGHT

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As promised, Farrah Abraham plastered her rejuvenated pussy all over CamSoda.com, in a masturbation webcam. We didn’t watch. But the pictures from her performance are hitting the Internet hard. She played with a Hitachi vibrator and what appeared to be a Flashlight, which pretty much guarantees that she’ll be releasing her fresh pussy mold for Flashlight soon. Since we didn’t watch, we can’t tell you much about the show, apart from what we gleaned from the pictures. But from what we gleaned it looked like Farrah put her pussy into it. We might just watch the next one.

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SARAH JESSICA PARKER STROKES OFF HER PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARD

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Sarah Jessica Parker, 51, took home the Favorite Premium Series Actress People’s Choice Award on Wednesday. On stage, she gushed, “Oh wow! Well goodness, this is lovely. And this is a real honour and I think of this occasion as just the most perfect opportunity to express a very personal and long-felt bit of gratitude. I feel like there are many who are not just an audience but have been a sort of, companion to me, well, over the course of a lot, of a lot of years. And I feel indebted to them for their commitment, and their devotion and their time, and their interest.” Backstage, she posed with her People’s Choice Award, looking like she was set to give it a blowjob and handjob. We’re just saying what it looked like.

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BRITISH MALE CELEBRITIES ARE GETTING SCAMMED INTO MASTURBATING ON SKYPE AND HAVING “SEX TAPES” RELEASED

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You have to be the dumbest celebrity in the world to get scammed into going onto Skype to masturbate to some girl, unless that girl is actress Marbot Robbie or porn star Brandi Love. First off, as a celebrity, why would you need to Skype? and why would you want to? You likely have tons of girls lined up outside your hotel ready to sign a release, waiver and confidentiality agreement just to get the opportunity to swing on your nut sack. And if you’re worried about her putting you sleeping on her Instagram, well, again, you’re a celebrity, buy a high end prostitute. Why would you ever go on Skype? Well, a number of British male celebrities did. After boxer Amir Khan’s masturbation sex tape to a model on Skype was leaked, more British celebrities were released. A porn website now has medal-winning Olympic gymnast Louis Smith, 2008 Britain’s Got Talent winner George Sampson, Celebrity Big Brother contestant Calum Best, gold medallist diver Chris Mears, Coronation Street actor Shayne Ward, Strictly Come Dancing contestant Ben Cohen, The Only Way Is Essex star Kirk Norcross and X Factor contestant Sam Callahan, who all got scammed. Because they are dumb as fuck or horny as hell. “This is a case of famous celebrities being approached by beautiful glamour models via social media sites like Twitter or Instagram,” a source told The Sun. “They swap Skype usernames and arrange to have phone sex over the video service. It’s possible to record the Skype conversations so the assumption is that the models have made recordings which are then given to Celebrity Busted and ultimately leaked online.” Dumb asses.

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AT LEAST 30% OF MEN AND WOMEN MASTURBATE AT WORK, NEW REPORT CALLS FOR WORK MASTURBATION POLICY

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Who the fuck masturbates at work? Apparently, one-third of your co-workers, at least, both male and female (and chances are you too). A survey by Guyfi found that 40% of workers in New York take masturbation during breaks at work. Polls by Time Out New York and Glamour, respectively, found that 39% of men said they masturbated at work, while 31% of women also admitted to flicking the bean on the job. And now new reports are endorsing the need for workplace masturbation policy, which may lead to increased efficiency and focus on the job they say. Taking time to “relieve tension” on the job could actually boost productivity and make employees happier, psychology professor Mark Sergeant of Nottingham Trent University told Metro U.K. Dr. Cliff Arnall, a psychologist and life coach, agreed. Dr. Arnall said, “Certainly taking a masturbation break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus” and that, “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling.” Yeah, a lot of smiling. We wholly endorse a “Masturbation and Personal Ejaculation Break Act” in Congress. Time for a Change.org petition.

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DOCTOR ATTEMPTS TO LINK MASTURBATION TO IMPOTENCE LIKE YOUR MOM LINKED IT TO BLINDNESS

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Any indictment of porn gets news these days, no matter how unsupported by actual research or evidence. The most recent indictment sounds similar what what mothers used to (and some still do) tell their sons, “if you masturbate too much you’ll go blind.” Dr. Andrew Smiler is now saying too much masturbation (and porn) leads to sexual impotence. “The guys I see, most of them are between 13 and 25. The vast majority are, for the most part, the picture of physical health.” But he warned about the dangers of porn among young men, saying, “So if I’m masturbating to porn once a day for 15 minutes but I do that every day for five years, I’m pretty well on my way to being an expert to having an orgasm to porn. If I’m 17 and that is 90% of my sexual orgasmic experience, then I’ve put a lot of effort into that particular variety/flavour of sexual development but I’ve put in very little time developing my sexuality with another person, so it makes it more challenging to become aroused to another person and you find yourself in this other direction which is often very different to sex with a person.” According to the Independent, Dr. Angela Gregory, psychosexual therapist at Nottingham University Hospital, also said, “Men are becoming both physically and psychologically desensitised to normal sexual stimulation and arousal with a sexual partner.” Well, at least we know you won’t go blind.

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TALLULAH WILLIS GRABS HERSELF BY THE PUSSY FOR RACY TOPLESS SHOOT

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Tallulah Willis, 22, was seriously felling herself, no seriously, feeling all up on herself for a recent photoshoot for Tyler Shield’s new book Provocateur: Photographs!. It was like a Donald Trump and Billy Bush grope love fest, as Tallulah grabbed herself by the pussy for several racy topless photographs. Cover your eyes, Bruce, as a father, you probably don’t want to see this. Though, the rest of the world does…

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ACTRESS SHAILENE WOODLEY IS ADVOCATING TEACHING MASTURBATION IN SCHOOL

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Actress Shailene Woodley was interviewed recently, and she talked briefly about an issue close to her heart (or errr…..to her vagina), and that is sexual education and in particular masturbation. The Divergent star said, “As a young woman you don’t learn how to pleasure yourself, you don’t learn what an orgasm should be, you don’t learn that you should have feelings of satisfaction. I’ve always had a dream of making a book called There’s No Right Way to Masturbate. If masturbation were taught in school, I wonder how [many] fewer people would get herpes aged 16, or pregnant at 14?).” We doubt fewer people would get herpes or pregnant just because they know how to masturbate. We think education on condoms would likely do better to prevent those. But we are in favor of more people masturbating. We wonder how happy a world it would be if everyone was sexually satisfied. Think of that love fest.

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TICK OF THE CLOCK

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Evgenyi Demenev’s got a new video, “Tick of the Clock,” which is all things fetish and BDSM. It’s got leather, nipple clamps, candle wax, gag ball, submissive milk liking, simulated masturbation, and plenty of nipples. All around it was a good start to the morning.

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PORN STAR NICOLE ANISTON’S GOT A FLESHLIGHT, AND YOUR WHOLE WORLD’S COME UNDONE

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We have many thoughts about the Fleshlight. Are there collectors? Does some guy have 20 porn star pussy molds sitting on his shelves, just thinking every day, which one he wants to lube up? Or do most guys pick just one? Is there such a thing as masturbation mold fidelity? Is it technically cheating to masturbation with another porn star’s Fleshlight? We’ll never know, but we ponder nonetheless. Whichever is your preference, Nicole Anistons’ got a new Fleshlight, a special mold of just her pussy (Aerosmith fans will appreciate the “Janey’s Got a Gun” reference in the title). Both Fleshlight and Nicole are honored, and you can really feel the sincerity. “[B]etween her popularity as a glamorous porn performer and her growing visibility in the fitness and lifestyle markets as a model and influencer, we felt she would be a perfect choice for our ever-evolving brand initiatives,” said Fleshlight’s Wholesale Division Manager Amanda Purcell. “I am so excited to have a custom product for all of my fans to enjoy,” Aniston said. “I am so thankful to be part of the Fleshlight Family. Every experience and dealing I have had with them has been great and I could not be more proud to be an ambassador of this phenomenal brand.” You can get more information here.

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JENNIFER LOPEZ IS THE CELEBRITY EVERYONE PREFERS TO MASTURBATE TO THE MOST

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May is International Masturbation Month. So sex toy company We-Vibe polled over 1,000 male and female masturbators about their masturbation habits in their 2016 Passion Report. They found that rveryone has a “routine” when it comes to masturbation, as 62% of survey respondents reported that they follow a “routine” each time they masturbate, like watching porn, looking at photos, or using a vibrator. Women were overwhelmingly into sex toys, with 53% of women said that using one is “the best way to spice up their routine,” while only 22% of men agreed. Instead, men do porn, with 91% saying that watching “new adult content” is the best way to enhance jerking the gherkin. Celebrities were also on the brain. Some 33% of male responders said they are thinking about a celebrity while masturbating, though only 19% of female respondents did. And, single men and women were more likely than those in relationships to think of celebrities. Who are they thinking about? Jennifer Lopez was at the top of the list. And, as you would expect, Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Alba, Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox and Beyonce all made the top 20 list. But so did Carrie Underwood. Strange.

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Here’s the top 20 celebrities that people think about while masturbating, they should make an award:

1. Jennifer Lopez
2. Carrie Underwood
3. Jennifer Lawrence
4. Jessica Alba
5. Channing Tatum
6. Emma Watson
7. Kim Kardashian
8. Megan Fox
9. Selena Gomez
10. Taylor Swift
11. Ryan Gosling
12. Adam Levine
13. Beyonce
14. Janet Mason
15. Jenna Haze
16. Jennifer Aniston
17. Jensen Ackles
18. Johnny Depp
19. Justin Timberlake
20. Kate Upton

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SEX AND MASTURBATION EQUALS LOWER RISK OF PROSTATE CANCER

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A new study is giving men reason to do a little recreational pocket pool, choke the chicken, diddle the dong, whatever you want to call it, masturbate, or have more sex, whatever, just find a reason to ejaculate, often. The new study says men who ejaculate more often than their abstaining counterparts are at a lower risk of prostate cancer. Researchers followed roughly 32,000 men starting in 1992 when they were in their 20s up through 2010. During this period, almost 4,000 of the men were diagnosed with prostate cancer. “Ejaculation frequency is, to some extent, a measure of overall health status in that men at the very low end of ejaculation – 0 to 3 times per month – were more likely to have other (medical problems) and die prematurely from causes other than prostate cancer,” said lead study author Jennifer Rider, who performed the analysis while working at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health.

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The study found that men who ejaculated at least 21 times a month were 19% less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their 20s than men who ejaculated no more than seven times a month. By their 40s, men who ejaculated more often were 22% less likely to get diagnosed with prostate cancer. “While our findings should be confirmed in studies that evaluate the potential biological mechanisms underlying the observed associations, the results of our study suggest that ejaculation and safe sexual activity throughout adulthood could be a beneficial strategy for reducing the risk of prostate cancer,” Jennifer said. So guys, get to it.



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BEAT PROSTATE CANCER WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF MASTURBATION OR SEX

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Prostate cancer is a serious disease for men. While treatable, prevention is the best medication. Approximately 1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during their lifetime, with most occurring later in life. About 6 cases in 10 are diagnosed in men aged 65 or older. And in terms of mortality, 1 in 38 men will die of prostate cancer. But you can masturbate your troubles away with a few ounces of prevention. Scientists at the Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women Hospital recently published the results of a study that found that men who ejaculate at least once a day have a very low chance of developing prostate cancer. Sex is not required, masturbation, nocturnal emissions, all ejaculation from an orgasm are good, the study said. Men in the study who ejaculated more than 21 times a month were at a 22% lower risk of getting prostate cancer. Researcher Jennifer Rider said, “given the lack of modifiable risk factors for prostate cancer, the results of this study are particularly encouraging.” Encouraging is an understatement. Jerking off can lower your risk of prostate cancer, that’s the best news of the year.

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PORN STAR KENDRA SUNDERLAND SENTENCED AND…..

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There is no need to finish those “Free Kendra” signs. Library girl, Kendra Sunderland, is not going to jail. She recently plead guilty to misdemeanor public indecency in Corvallis, Oregon and was fined $1,000. Justice served. Last year, if you recall, Kendra masturbated in the Oregon State University public library for her webcam show, which catapulted her into a national news story once someone recognized the study carrel she gooed up. Kendra has been a porn star magnate ever since. There was a time when we feared Kendra would have to go all OTNB (“Orange is the New Black”) and shoot lesbian webcam shower scenes from jail. Now that the law has come down soft of the library girl, we just hope she’s reformed and will flick her pleasure bean from library sets from now on. (Though, lesbian shower scenes are not a bad idea.)

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DO YOU MASTURBATE TOO MUCH?

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FiveThirtyEight’s Mona Chalabi analyzed Indiana Univerity’s National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior to create a helpful masturbation infographic for you to compare how your masturbation habits match up to national averages. The NSSHB collected data from 5,865 Americans between the ages of 14 and 94 between March and May 2009. As you could imagine, men masturbate much more often than women, but surprisingly, woman are still pretty active in topping off the taco.

[Explicit Video: Raven Bay, Prom Whore Wars on Brazzers]


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STRIPPER LAKEISHA JOHNSON PERFORMS NAUGHTY STRIPTEASE AND MASTURBATION SHOW WHILE IN JAIL

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We generally shy away from arrest stories, unless it’s a big name celebrity, and even then it’s not really our thing. But stripper Lakeisha Johnson’s story is hilarious. After being arrested for resisting arrest (if that makes sense), officers said when they sought
sLAK1to question her, she started “using extremely vulgar language and began removing clothing,” according to a police report, and was arrested for slapping a cop’s arm and yelling, “Don’t touch me, bitch!”

[Explicit Video: Rose Monroe, DP Duty on Brazzers]

  &nbsp It gets better. Lakeisha is a dancer at Tootsie’s Cabaret, an upscale Miami strip club. So what’s a stripper to do in jail awaiting bail? According to police, Lakeisha decided to remove her clothes and “expose[ ] her vagina, anus, and breasts.” Officer Juan Canino added that, “On several occasions, the female licked her breast and masturbated.” While in her holding cell, Lakeisha “had to be ordered repeatedly to keep her clothes on and to stop masturbating,” said Officer Canino. During her strip search, Lakeisha “removed her clothing once again and began rubbing her vagina.” And to top it all off, she allegedly told Officer Canino, “I’ll suck your dick if you let me go.”

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RESEARCHERS PROMOTE THE BENEFITS OF MASTURBATION….NO, YOU WON’T GO BLIND

Everybody masturbates, it’s a fact. Apparently, 94% of men admit to masturbating, as do 85% of women. The rest are simply lying. Recently, two University of Australia researchers have gone out promoting the benefits of masturbation. Anthony Santella, a public health scientist at the University of Sydney, and his colleague Spring Chenoa Cooper, a senior lecturer, published an article for “The Conversation,” an academic website for opinion pieces.

[Explicit Video: Chloe Chaos, College Slut on Brazzers]


According to Anthrony and Spring, for women, masturbation can help prevent cervical infections and urinary tract infections through the process of “tenting,” or the opening of the cervix that occurs as part of the arousal process. “Tenting stretches the cervix, and thus the cervical mucous. This enables fluid circulation, allowing cervical fluids full of bacteria to be flushed out,” they say. Masturbation also can lower the risk of type-2 diabetes, reduce insomnia, and increase pelvic floor strength. For men, the researchers are equally positive about the health value of masturbation, saying that it helps reduce risk of prostate cancer, probably by giving the prostate a chance to flush out potential cancer-causing agents. “Masturbation also improves immune functioning by increasing cortisol levels, which can regulate immune functioning in small doses. It also reduces depression by increasing the amount of endorphins in the bloodstream. Masturbation can also indirectly prevent infertility by protecting people from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that can lead to infertility.”

So what are you waiting for? Go ahead and get started on the road to a healthier you.

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