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DAMN FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP CAN’T CATCH A BREAK, LIL’ BOW WOW JUST THREATENED TO PIMP HER OUT

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We have no idea what society has come to. There is just no respect anymore, not even for revered institutions like the Office of the First Lady. Who hates on a First Lady? And at a point when we have the sexiest First Lady ever, who posed nude, why all the hate? Well, perhaps because her husband, President Donald Trump inspires it. Like today. Snoop Dog made a video shooting a Donald Trump look-a-like in the head. It was probably over the line. Again, no respect. But it ain’t like Donald is all that respectful himself. So if you can’t take it, don’t dish it out. And it’s Snoop Dogg, so no harm, no foul, and it was funny. So Donald Trump being Donald Trump, did what Donald Trump ordinarily does: he tweeted. The president said, “Can you imagine what the outcry would be if @SnoopDogg, failing career and all, had aimed and fired the gun at President Obama? Jail time!” And then Lil Bow Bow of all people jumped into the beef to say, “Ayo @realDonaldTrump shut your punk ass up talking shit about my uncle @SnoopDogg before we pimp your wife and make her work for us.” Snoop is at least really fucking funny when he does something. We can’t say as much for Bow Wow. And still we continue to empathize with our favorite naked First Lady.

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DID JOURNALIST JUST SAY FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP DID “REALLY SLEAZY PORN”? THE FUCK YOU SAY?

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Journalist David Cay Johnston appeared on Rachel Maddow’s NBC show on Tuesday to report on the first two pages of one of President Trump’s undisclosed income-tax returns. During the interview, and a brief exchange talking about Melania Trump, who was not involved with Donald Trump’s businesses as they were discussing, David out of nowhere took a shot at Melania that, “she did do some very sleazy porn.” Boom. Zinger. Now, Melania has already sued a blogger who called her a “high-end escort,” and The Daily Mail for repeating the false story, in a $150 million libel lawsuit. Better watch out David. Calling the First Lady a porn star. We see one of those New York style pig fucks coming, and David will wish he was a gay for pay porn star, in comparison to the way he’s likely to get fucked raw by the First Family. We are standing by the First Lady, cause we are big fans of her nude work.

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EMILY RATAJKOWSKI RATS OUT SLUT SHAMING NYT TIMES REPORTER THAT CALLS MELANIA TRUMP A “HOOKER”

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It has been a rough couple weeks for reports calling the First Lady a prostitute. Melania Trump recently filed a $150 million lawsuit against Daily Mail for merely repeating the suggestion (made by others) that she was a former prostitute. And now model Emily Ratajkowski is outing a New York Times reporter for calling her a “hooker”. According to Emily, on Twitter, “Sat next to a journalist from the NYT last night who told me ‘Melania is a hooker.’ Whatever your politics it’s crucial to call this out for what it is: slut shaming. I don’t care about her nudes or sexual history and no one should.” We see another lawsuit coming. To be fair though, he was really hooker shaming, not slut shaming Melania.

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DONALD TRUMP IS NOW PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, AND WE SEE A WHOLE LOT MORE MELANIA TRUMP PORN COMING

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Donald J. Trump is officially the 45th president of the United States. He is now the leader of the free world, after having taken the oath of office at his inauguration this afternoon, with the world cautiously watching and hanging on his every word. While they were hanging on his words, most of the watching was on the new first lady, Melania Trump, 46. We have all seen her naked. And as the inauguration has approached, we’ve started to see an explosion of Melania Trump porn. We suspect it will only continue as porn takes an increasing interest in the new president and the new hot as fuck first lady. She’s probably the hottest first lady ever. Slovenia should be proud today. So the rise in porn parody is not a surprise. Take this picture, one of our favorites. The original picture is of porn legend Lisa Ann. Someone superimposed the first lady’s face on it, to great effect. Yeah, we see a lot more coming.

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NICKI MINAJ MAKING HEADLINES, TWERKING, TROLLING AND A LOT OF MOTHERFUCKING

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Nicki Minaj has been causing headlines and controversy with her performance at Jay Z’s annual Tidal X concert recently. The hottest part of it all was of course the backstage twerking video she posted to her Instagram page. She also twerked on stage. But Nicki being Nicki, she didn’t just leave it there. She took aim at Melania and Donald Trump, saying, “You niggas are so fucking weak, y’all got the audacity to be intimidated by the bad motherfucking queen and get your motherfuckking feelings hurt. But it’s O-motherfuckking-K, ‘cause Barack needed a Michelle, bitch, and Bill needed a motherfucking Hillary, bitch. You better pray to God you don’t get stuck with a motherfuckking Melania. You niggas want brainless bitches? To stroke your motherfucking egos? Well, fuck you, niggas.” Isn’t hat what every man wants? Brainless bitches to stroke his…..ego.

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In a consistent theme, she had hard words for Kanye West too, in a Marie Claire magazine interview, in which she talked about inequality. As for Kanye, and his song, “Gold Digger,” Nicki said she was “so tired” of black women’s fears that their men will leave them for white women once they get rich. “It wasn’t funny when Kanye said, ‘When he get on, he’ll leave your ass for a white girl,’ and Kanye happens to be with a white girl now,” she said, referring to Kim Kardashian. “It wasn’t funny when it said it; it was the fucking truth.” Need you more proof that all men want is a brainless bitch to stroke his ego? Kanye West for President!



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MAKE MELANIA LESBIAN AGAIN IS A CAUSE WE CAN SUPPORT

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Not everyone agrees with Donald Trump. His campaign slogan “Make American Great Again” has ruffled a few feathers. Mostly because making America great involves getting rid of Mexicans and Muslims, and giving everyone more guns. Because really, how could this country survive without Mariachi music, the blessings of Allah (when Jesus is already doing such a great job). Make America Great! Make America Great! A gun for every man, woman and child will make us safe! But sadly not everyone is buying the message. They reside on Long Island, a popular GLBT stronghold, and have responded with a campaign slogan of their own, “Make Melania Lesbian Again,” referring to the nude pictures of Donald’s wife and potential future First Lady Melania Trump with Scandinavian model Emma Eriksson from the 1990s. We frankly believed that part of Making America Great included more nude pictures of Melania, so we’re not exactly sure what these Fire Island residents are talking about, but they’ve posting pictures with the slogan and nude pictures of Melania all over town, at least making Fire Island great again.

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NUDE PHOTOS OF MELANIA TRUMP JUST DROPPED, AND WE’RE NOW VOTING REPUBLICAN

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There is an undeniable truth, that Republican woman are generally hotter than Democrats. Take Fox New anchors, it’s just like a beauty pageant, but with all the sexual harassment allegations going on over at Fox, maybe that’s not the best of examples. But here’s a good example, our potential next First Lady, Melania Trump. The New York Post just dropped several nude pictures of Melania from a shoot she did some time ago in New York that had never seen the light of day (or at least in limited circulation). Now, if Melania was a Democrat, first she’d be ugly and no one would care, but two, liberals would be screaming sexual assault. But she’s a Republican. So no dice on either front, which makes it safe to go forward, not that that’s ever stopped us before. Then-25-year-old Melania Knauss posed nude in a photo spread for a now-defunct French men’s magazine in Manhattan in 1995, according to Alé de Basse­ville, the French photographer who shot the pictures. “Melanie was super-great and a fantastic personality and she was very kind with me,” de Basseville said, and added that Melania never once felt uncomfortable posing for the nude pictures.

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The spread appeared in the January 1996 issue of Max. “I think it is important to show the beauty and the freedom of the woman, and I am very proud of these pictures because they celebrate Melania’s beauty,” Ale said. Donald Trump distanced himself from the risqué nudes, saying, “Melania was one of the most successful models and she did many photo shoots, including for covers and major magazines. This was a picture taken for a European magazine prior to my knowing Melania. In Europe, pictures like this are very fashionable and common.” We searched high and low for uncensored versions. But whomever has them is not sharing. We’ve seen only two variations, censored and heavily censored. We went with the former.

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REPUBLICANS ARE SEARCHING ARAB AND GAY PORN, AND MELANIA TRUMP NUDE IN CLEVELAND

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Pornhub has put out statistics on what they are seeing in porn coming out of Cleveland, and it looks like Republicans have some real coming out of the closet to do. Yesterday, we reported about the general increase in porn traffic that xHamster was seeing coming out of Cleveland. Today, Pornhub is getting much more specific. And specifically, it “saw a 4.2% increase in traffic from the Cleveland area between July 18-21. Most of that traffic change came from mobile devices, which can indicate they are more likely to be visitors to the area. We found a 648% increase in searches containing the word ‘trump’, and a 204% increase in searches related to ‘muslim’ and ‘arab’ content. Visits to Pornhub’s gay site increased by nearly 8% from July 18-21.”

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It gets better. According to Pornhub, “Proportionally, the biggest traffic change happened in the over-65 age group where we saw a 10% increase in visits. We also found a 6% increase in visitors between the ages of 55-64.” And better still, “In the Cleveland area we found that certain categories had a significant increase in views between July 18-21. The biggest increase of 421% went to the “Gay – Hunks” category, followed by a 225% increase in the “Gay – Group” sex category.” Not only are these older Republicans liking gay porn, they are also looking for nude pictures of Trump’s wife, Melania. “On July 20 all ‘trump’ searches were up 705%, and searches relating to Donald Trump’s wife Melania were up 1477%,” Pornhub said. It seems almost fitting then that Republicans are discussing declaring porn a public health crisis, when they appear to be contributing to so much of its success.

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DOES EUROPEAN PORN STAR ALEKSA DIAMOND LOOK LIKE MELANIA TRUMP?

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Potential United States First Lady and wife to presidential hopeful Donald Trump, Melania Trump, may have a porn star doppelgänger. Melania is from Slovenia (former Yugoslavia). Porn star Aleska Diamond is Hungarian, and the producers of Sex Slaves of Slovenia are comparing Aleska and her performance in the film to Melania Trump. Her agent Raul Galante said, “We’re getting lots of interest in Aleska; everyone wants her. Apparently she looks like the wife of that silly man, Donald.” Exile Distribution Chief Howard Levine, which produced Sex Slaves of Slovenia, agreed, saying, “Her sex is so hot, I had to build a wall around my pants and make Slovenia pay for it.” Melanie has posed nude, so it’s not an unfair comparison, particularly given the close resemblance. But haven’t seen Melania in action, though who knows whether there is a Melania and Donald sex tape out there, just waiting to be sold one Donald wins the election. For now, you get the doppelgänger.

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