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STEPH CURRY LOVES FEET, MIA KHALIFA GIVES HIM FEET

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NBA superstar Steph Curry’s wife outed his foot fetish, or sort of. Aeysha Curry was on The Real, playing a game called “Cellphone Roulette,” and was asked to share an “unusual” picture on her phone. She shared a picture of her fee, and explained, “My husband really loves my feet. And so, like, the light was hitting them just right that day, so I was like, let me just snap this photo and send him a picture of my feet. So when he says to send nudes, like, that’s what he’s getting, a picture of my bare feet.” So, the world’s favorite former porn star, Mia Khalifa, decided to get in on the action, sharing a picture of her feet and asking, “Sup, @StephenCurry30?” We feel like Mia could have shared a much better foot shot, and likely gotten some Steph Curry side chick action.



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PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA EJECTED FROM DODGERS GAME

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa is more popular as a social media celebrity than she ever was as a porn star, well among mainstream news anyway. She was a huge fucking porn star, so you should appreciate how much bigger she is now. If you happen to follow the antics of Mia, she was recently reportedly ejected from the Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Chicago Cubs game over the weekend, as a fan tried to take a selfie with her without her permission, and she punched the fan in the jaw before being removed. Now, that’s the story. But Mia is calling fake news. It’s sort of a Donald Trump move. But Mia shared a photo of herself at the game on Instagram, saying, “Update: still prefer regular season hockey over playoff baseball. And no, I didn’t get kicked out.” Now, that could have easily been a picture before she got her ass hauled out. Because video of the incident circulating the Internet seems to show Mia getting walked out. And Mia herself tried to explain it saying, “They were not booing us. They were booing security for making us leave.” So, it isn’t clear what part Mia was calling fake news, when she said, “It was fake news. I didn’t get kicked out.” Who knows? Who cares? As with most thing, Mia Khalifa news, gives us reason to share Mia Khalifa pictures.

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GILBERT ARENAS PUT PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA ON BLAST FOR SLIDING INTO HIS DMS

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa puts everybody on blast for pathetically sliding into her DMs. Just last month, she put Chicago Cubs’ Wilson Contreras on blast for it. But what goes around, comes the fuck back around. Mia Khalifa pathetically slides into DMs too. Former NBA All-Star Gilbert Arenas posted Mia’s DMs to him, saying, “@miakhalifa would slide in my dm #fortheD the thirst is real since backpage is gone this #Bihhh has no room for negotiations with me.. $150 or you better slide into #nelly dm for that raw dick behind a #walmart”. Mia’s DMs were sad, trying to hit up Gilbert three times over October 2-5. She said, “Hey! I’m back in LA, it was so nice meeting you last time I was here. Do you wanna grab dinner or something? I don’t know too many people out here lol”. Then she posted to wine glass emojis, and then she tried again, saying, “Doing anything for the Caps game tonight?” And then finally she gave up, saying, “Damn no love for the DC fam”. After Gilbert blew her shit up, Mia tweeted, “Is Gilbert Arenas even relevant anymore?” But after swinging on his dick, that ain’t the comeback Mia.



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DESHAUN WATSON AND PORN STAR MIA KHALIA PLAYING NERF BASKETBALL BEFORE HIS NFL START FOR THE HOUSTON TEXANS, LUCKY GUY

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Right before his NFL start on Thursday Night Football, Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson received a special message from his friend, former porn star Mia Khalifa. She posted a video of the two of them together playing nerf basketball, saying, “Happy birthday, @deshaunwatson! For the record, I let u block that dunk cause ur a rookie and I didn’t wanna risk hurting you before game 1”. Fans were quick to react. One said, “Deshaun ABORT ABORT this is a bad road you’re going down”. Another said, “Deshaun Watson is spending his bday with Mia Khalifa. Dont care what happens from here, he’s my favorite NFL QB ever”. And yet another wrote, “Not today Satan. Us @HoustonTexans fans have suffered enough”. The two best we think were, “A plot leading into a porn scene” and “Career ruined. She has a Kardishan similar type curse”. Take if from Lamar Odom, Deshaun… But on the other hand, Mia Khalifa might just be worth it.



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CUBS CATCHER WILLSON CONTRERAS PUNKED BY PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA, WHO REVEALED HOW SHE REJECTED HIM WHEN HE HIT HER UP IN THE DM

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Chicago Cubs catcher Willson Contreras tried to fuck former porn star Mia Khalifa. And like others who have tried, he got publicly humiliated. Mia posted his attempts to hit her up in the DM, and her single-word rejection. The messages begin on August 4, with Willson writing: “Hi how are you?” He tries again with “I’m sure you get this a lot but I’m a big fan of you,” and then, “It will be great if you just say hi.” Mia responds with a one-word message – “Bye.” But Willson keeps trying, sending her messages over the next month. Mia posted the screenshots with the message, “Cubbies, your man’s is wandering around left field. Can you come get him? @Cubs”. Octagon Baseball, the agency that represents Willson, claimed that his “twitter account was hacked” — for a month. Willson needs to step up his porn star DM game and his denial game. “It wasn’t me” just ain’t cutting it these days.



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FORMER PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA TALKS ABOUT ISIS THREATS TO BEHEAD HER AND HOW SHE AIN’T SCURRED

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In between threatening the United States government, terrorist group ISIS takes time to threaten porn stars like Mia Khalifa, threatening to “behead” Mia (not exactly realizing that Mia’s best qualities are below her neck anyway). ISIS has been threatening Mia for some time, but she recently talked about it in an interview with The Sports Junkies on 106.7 The Fan Thursday. “She’s actually had ISIS threaten her,” Junkies host Eric Bickel said. “Could you imagine? How do you walk around? I wouldn’t leave the house!” Mia responded, “I think that starting out with ISIS threatening to behead me really set the standard. Like, I look at a Cowboys fan, I’m like, ‘You cannot hurt me. I have ISIS threaten me. You are not scaring me.” (We’re pretty sure a Cowboys fan could still knock Mia the fuck out, or abduct her or, or some other strange shit, cause, remember, Texas. So Mia may want to rethink that one.). Mia was called out by ISIS because she is Lebanese, and frequently wore a hijab in her porn scenes.

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“So how did they threaten you,” Jason Bishop asked. “It was through social media,” Mia said. “They photoshopped a picture of me being beheaded and threatened that that would happen to me.” “How do you sleep at night,” Eric followed-up. “Did that worry you at all,” Jason added, “for one second?” “It does, but I try not to show it, because you can’t show weakness. That’s exactly what they’re looking for. I really try and just make it look like it rolls off, but I’ll admit, it gets to you after a while,” Mia said. Don’t lie, Mia, you was scurred. Yeah, you was. You was scurred.



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MIA KHALIFA OFFERS UP HER TITS TO CHANGE JOHN WALL’S NBA RATING

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa is back in the habit. As many who follower her after porn know, she is a big Washington Wizards sports fan, among other D.C. teams, and in particular a fan of point guard John Wall. In the upcoming NBA 2K18 video game, John was rated a 90. In contrast, Steph Curry was rated a 94. Mia was displeased and felt John at least deserved a 93 rating. So she took to Twitter and tweeted at Ronnie2K, the video game’s marketing director. First she said, “Play me in HORSE to change Wall’s 90 to a 93”. That failed. Then she tweeted, “I’ll let you touch my tiddies”. Ronnie said, “The ratings more sacred.” (More sacred than Mia Khalifa’s tits, blasphemy!) So Mia tried again, reply, “A lot of 14 year olds in Brazil would disagree. Take the tiddies and change the rating.” But no dice. We would have taken that deal, though, without thinking twice.

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PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA PLAYS SISKEL AND EBERT, CAUSE NOW SHE’S A MOVIE CRITIC

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa is now playing movie critic. She recently took to critiquing Christopher Nolan’s latest film, Dunkirk, which is centered on the evacuation of Allied soldiers from the North of France during World War II. Mia started on Twitter, saying, “I love Chris Nolan more than I love my dogs, but Dunkirk sucked more dick than I did in 2014”. She then posted a video critic on YouTube. She wrote in the description, “Jerf is drugged and swollen from his wisdom teeth extraction, but we managed to get out of the house and watch Dunkirk. We were less than impressed and both agreed, had we not possessed basic knowledge regarding the rescue at the beaches of Dunkirk, we would have had no fucking clue what was going on in this movie…. 7/10, though. Chris Nolan can do no wrong.” Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 92 out of 100 and the film has mostly received praise. But Mia wasn’t having it. “I didn’t know if this whole thing lasted 23 hours or if the rescue mission took like two and a half months,” Mia said. “You never knew what time of day it was, what the fucking temperature was… I’m like, ‘What the fuck is going on?'” She added, “Did this end World War II, or was this like… a random battle? You could not tell. There was no context.” Mia’s no Siskel and Ebert, but she was still a hot fucking porn star.

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MIA KHALIFA FUCKS WITH BOSTON, BOSTON FUCKS BACK

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Isaiah Thomas is the 5’9″ stellar point guard for the Boston Celtics. In the NBA, 5’9″ is relatively short. But porn star Mia Khalifa is only 5’2″. So she can’t really talk much about height. But she did, attempting to troll Isaiah during the Celtics-Wizards game last night. She tweeted, “Yo, @Isaiah_Thomas, I’ll let you touch my tiddies if you can reach them.” Relatively short as he may be, Isaiah can certainly reach Mia’s tiddies. So it wasn’t that great of a troll attempt. And Twitter responded:

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@thatHoesFuneral — “You’re basically at his penis Ma”

@Celtics59 — “Considering they sag to your knees I don’t think he’ll have much trouble”

@mindofjosh_ — “They ain’t your tiddies anyway home girl. He can touch them implants though”

@tblhedman77 — “They are starting to sag, he’ll be ok”

@ItsGmanFool — “You mean your frankintiddies! #badboobjob”


Now, we don’t know about all that. Mia’s tiddies look worth the feel. But Boston fans can be cruel.



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FORMER PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA DROPS “MR. IRRELEVANT” ON CHAD KELLY IN THIS YEAR’S NFL DRAFT

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Ole Miss quarterback Chad Kelly and former porn star Mia Khalifa have history. He tried to slide into her DMs, and she’s been calling him out ever since, not the least of which because she’s a diehard University of Florida fan (and alumnae). Chad was the last pick in this year’s NFL draft, going No. 253, to the Denver Broncos, reportedly after Broncos general manager John Elway talked with football great Jim Kelly, who vouched for his nephew. And as is tradition, the last one to go in the draft is given the title “Mr. Irrelevant,” and Mia didn’t hesitate to let Chad know with a tweet. You can just feel the sexual tension between the two. They might as well have sex already, and make a porn video out of it. Chad’s career isn’t going anywhere. And to be honest, neither is Mia’s. It would make a great comeback video.

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MIA KHALIFA TROLLS THE FUCK OUT OF OLE MISS QB CHAD KELLY, POOR CHAD

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Ole Miss quarterback Chad Kelly has had a rough year. To top off all of his troubles, he was not invited to the NFL combine based on off-field issues. And former porn star Mia Khalifa let everyone know it. They have some history. Chad tried to slip into Mia’s DMs. Mia outed Chad to the world for it. And then trolled this shit out of him as he imploded. So Mia didn’t miss the opportunity to punk Chad again over the combine. She said, “He wasn’t invited in my DM’s either, so he’ll prob show up to the combine drunk asking Gruden if he wants to FaceTime”. So much for not kicking a guy while he’s down. Mia kicked him in the balls and then gave him a golden shower to boot. You gotta love a girl that ruthless.

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PORN STAR MIA KHALIA CALLS FAN WHO GOT HER FACE TATTOOED ON HIS LEG AN “IDIOT”

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa has no lover for “fuckery,” like getting her face tattooed on your leg, like a fan did recently. We agree with Mia, this is absolutely dumb fuckery. We would have said that even if this “fan” had met Mia, fucked her, dated her, even was head over heels in love with her and married her, none of which he has done. We’d say that still because getting a tattoo of a partner on your body is absolute dumb fuckery. It always ends the same way, with a break up. And this tool doesn’t even know Mia. If you were going to do something so stupid, at least get a hot porn scene of Mia, or Mia fully nude. Something. A nipple. Well, Mia had this to say: “First of all, you’re an idiot. Second of all, my eyebrows are uneven. Third of all, what kind of two-for-one special did you get this tattoo on? I look like I just crawled out of the depths of hell nose first. What kind of dumbass would permanently mark their body with this? This isn’t cool or flattering… you’re an idiot lol. Good luck explaining this to any future significant others. Idiot.” She added on Twitter, “Y’all, I found a piece worse than the Cowboys SB LI Champs tat. Hope he didn’t expect a ‘thank u’ from me. I will not condone this fuckery.” Harsh, but spot on.

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FORMER PORN STAR MIA KHALIA TRIED TO FUCK WITH THE SIXERS, GOT FUCKED HARD IN RESPONSE

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa has trolled some of the best college athletes and made them look like fools for attempting to creep into her DMs. But when she went out to troll Philadelphia Sixers center Joel Embiid, it backfired on Mia hard, cause Joel rode Mia’s ass hard with the perfect response. Mia posted a picture on her Instagram page of Joel and fellow Sixers, saying “Room full of L’s.” Joel didn’t take the slight too kindly, and responded, “Says the woman with miles of D.” Mia promptly replied on Twitter, “Lesson learned: don’t mess with the Sixers.” We doubt Mia has learned her lesson, but she just isn’t ready for the pros. In case you were wondering, there are 63,360 inches in a mile. Now assuming that the average porn star penis is 9″ long, Mia would have had to have teen 7,049 dicks to get to a mile, so miles may be a bit over the top, but point well taken, Joel.

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IN 2016, THE WORLD WATCHED 524,641 YEARS OF PORN ON PORNHUB, MOSTLY OF PORN STAR LISA ANN

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The world watched a lot of porn on Pornhub.com in 2016. The numbers are staggering. Take this one, for example, the world watched 524,641 years of porn. People viewed 91,980,225,000 porn vides on Pornhub. That is 12.5 videos for every man, woman and child on the planet. Now clearly some people were watching more than their fair share. But it is now undeniable that the world is addicted to porn. The most viewed categories were of course the usual suspects: Lesbian, Teen, Ebony, MILF, Anal, Big Dick, Hentai, Big Tits, Threesome, Mature, Babe, Female Friendly, Japanese, Amateur, Ass, Squirt, Shemale, Babysitter, Creampie, and Cartoon. And even though she is retired, Lisa Ann is still the reigning porn queen, as the most searched porn actress in the world. She is followed by Mia Khalifa (also retired last year), Kim Kardashian, Riley Reid, Sunny Leone, Brandi Love, Asa Akira, Madison Ivy, Alexis Texas, Dillion Harper, Mia Malkova, August Ames, Nicole Aniston, Sasha Grey, Sara Jay, Dani Daniels, Christy Mack, Piper Perri, Ava Addams and Rachel Starr. But 2017 is a new year. Though it seems clear that we will waste over a half million years of life just watching porn. If that effort was put to something just a little more useful, we might already be living on Jupiter.

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WILL PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA BE THE NEXT AMBASSADOR TO SAUDI ARABIA? NOT A CHANCE IN HELL, BUT THERE’S A CHANGE.ORG PETITION TRYIN’ TO MAKE IT HAPPEN

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa (who is Lebanese) will never be appointed nor confirmed as United States Ambassador to Saudi Arabia. Never. Ever. Donald Trump may be unconventional, he may be crazy as fuck, but Mia is nowhere close to even appearing on the intern’s first draft list of potential nominees, not even by accident or as a joke. But Dalcolm Rodriguez-Goldstein feels she would make a great ambassador, and he’s even made a Change.org petition extolling her virtues for the position. “Mia Khalifa has a proven track record of bringing people together regardless of cultural background for the betterment of our country and international community. She will be a great leader representing us in the middle east as well as a symbol of the melting pot that is America.” So far, 3,810 people have signed on to the petition. You can join by adding your name to Mia’s supporters on Dalcolm’s petition here.

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PORNHUB OFFERS OLE MISS QB CHAD KELLY A PORN STAR CONSOLATION, CAUSE MIA KHALIFA DIDN’T BITE

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University of Mississippi quarterback Chad Kelly has made himself a national joke, after having tried twice to hit up (former) porn star Mia Khalifa in her DM, and getting publicly rejected and humiliated by Mia. And now Pornhub has gotten in on the game, offering to give Chad dating lessons with a porn star. In an open letter to Chad, Pornhub said, “we wanted to intervene and offer our assistance before you strike out for a third consecutive time,” offering “an opportunity to go on a date with a porn star and learn how to best pick up women. Think of PornHub as your dating coach. We can arrange a lovely dinner with one of our beautiful porn stars and she can show you the ropes. You can try various pickup lines on her, see which ones work, which ones fall flat. She can offer guidance and break down the X’s and O’s of dating so you’re best equipped for further situations.” Porhub was kind enough to leave the offer open indefinitely, saying “the offer will remain beyond your graduation,” so Chad does not run afoul of NCAA rules. While it might seem humiliating at the moment, we say, Chad you’ve hit the jackpot, buddy. Cause this is the closest you’re getting to sliding into Mia’s DMs.

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