MICHIGAN COPS ABOUT TO LOSE IMMUNITY FOR FUCKING PROSTITUTES THEY’RE INVESTIGATING, BUT ANYTHING GOES OFF DUTY
Michigan is the last state that still provides immunity to police officers for soliciting prostitutes and engaging in a little sexual intercourse while cracking down on the world’s oldest profession. You gotta collect the evidence, you know. But undercover cops won’t be getting any free games of hide of the salami soon anymore. They will no longer be allowed to have sex with the prostitutes they investigate, under a bill that unanimously passed a Michigan Senate committee Tuesday. “This is as succinctly written as anyone could make it. It eliminates the opportunity for those in undercover law enforcement to engage in sexual intercourse with someone they’re investigating,” said Sen. Judy Emmons, R-Sheridan, who sponsored the bill. “We have the dubious distinction of being the last state in the nation to have this law in our books.” The Senate Judiciary Committee agreed with Chairman Sen. Rick Jones, R-Grand Ledge, who said, “As a former sheriff, no modern-day police department would ever allow this. This makes so much sense.” University of Michigan law professor Bridgette Carr has tried for several years to get the exemption removed, but wasn’t successful until this year when Rep. Gary Glenn, R-Midland, offered to help, introducing a similar bill in the House of Representatives. So far, the House has not voted. So Michigan cops are still immune from prosecution for fucking prostitutes during an investigation, if they wish. But that trick is almost done.
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MICHIGAN PROSECUTOR OF PROSTITUTES ARRESTED FOR, YOU GUESSED IT, SOLICITING TONS OF PROSTITUTES FOR SEX
Ingham County, Michigan prosecutor Stuart Dunnings III loved him some prostitute pussy. He spent hundreds of dollars three or four times a week in illegal encounters in three Michigan counties between 2010 and 2015, according to an arrest affidavit, from escort websites such as Escort Vault and Backpage.com. But Stuart was apparently one of the most aggressive prosecutors of prostitution for years. For the past 20 years, he was the top prosecutor for Ingham County, with a reputation as “an outspoken advocate for ending human trafficking and prostitution,” according to a statement released by Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette (R). “In the first two years alone, his prosecutors charged 19 people with felonies and impounded 53 vehicles,” according to reports. But then at some point, Stuart started to partake of the forbidden fruit. “This is not a going into Barnes and Noble and buying something as a client or a customer,” Bill said. “This is an instance where an officer of the law, an officer of the court, the prosecutor in the capital city of Michigan has a responsibility to enforce the law, report crimes, but he did just the opposite. He was a participant in commercial sex activity.” Stuart caught a few cases for his whoring. He faces 15 criminal charges across three counties, and he was also charged with 10 counts of engaging in the services of prostitutes, a misdemeanor, in Ingham, Clinton and Ionia counties. “I’ve known Stuart for a long time,” Ingham County Sheriff Gene Wriggelsworth said at a news conference. “We’ve done some campaigning together. This was a huge betrayal of his trust, his oath of office, his service to the people of this county.” For shame, Stuart, for shame.
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For some time the United States Supreme Court has said that laws banning sodomy are unconstitutional. But many states, some thirteen in total, still have these kinds of bans on the books. They were mostly used against homosexuals, but not all. And while still unconstitutional, Michigan has gained national attention for its Senate’s vote to pass legislation that continues to outlaw oral and anal sex as “the abominable and detestable crime against nature with mankind or with any animal.” But there was a good purpose behind it; no, really. The legislation is part of a broader package known as “Logan’s Law,” designed to keep pets out of the hands of animal abusers, but in doing so, Michigan refused to take out the “with mankind or” language, continuing to ban oral and anal sex among humans as “the abominable and detestable crime against nature.”
Now, Michigan Republican Senator Rick Jones is defending his choice to keep the language in Senate Bill 219. “The minute I cross that line and I start talking about the other stuff, I won’t even get another hearing. It’ll be done,” he said. “Nobody wants to touch it. I would rather not even bring up the topic, because I know what would happen. You’d get both sides screaming and you end up with a big fight that’s not needed because it’s unconstitutional.” Rick’s view was that the better way to address it was by removing all unconstitutional laws from the Michigan books in one bill. “But if you focus on it, people just go ballistic,” he said. “If we could put a bill in that said anything that’s unconstitutional be removed from the legal books of Michigan, that’s probably something I could vote for, but am I going to mess up this dog bill that everybody wants? No.” Maybe. But you may want to be careful in Michigan, cause they seem pretty serious about oral and anal sex. If it wasn’t an issue, it would have been easy to strike the language, but clearly Michigan ain’t havin’ it. No butt love, cause it’s the abominable and detestable. But if feel so good…just ask Kanye West.
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