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JAYLENE COOK OFFENDS LOCALS BY DESECRATING SACRED MOUNTAIN WITH HER NAKED TITS AND ASS

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Jaylene Cook is a typical Western thinking white girl from New Zealand. Climb a mountain, get naked, take a selfie and post that shit onto here Instagram. Call it a day. And she did. She climbed New Zealand’s Mount Taranaki, got naked, took a selfie, and posted onto Instagram, saying, “WE DID IT!! This was BY FAR the hardest thing I have ever done! Both mentally and physically. 2 minutes out of the car park I was already hurting, sweating and ready to turn back But it’s amazing what you can accomplish with the encouragement and support of your partner! I could not have done this without you babe @thejoshshaw!” But little did the white girl know the mountain was sacred to local Maori, who say the tits and ass flash was culturally insensitive. The top of the volcano is sacred for Maori. “It’s like someone went into St Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican and took a nude photo,” Dennis Ngawhare, a spokesperson for the local Maori tribe, said. “It’s a sacred place and something like this is just very inappropriate.” It gets worse. Cause even climbing to the top of the mount peak is inappropriate and only very rarely done for ceremonial purpose. That’s because the volcano is considered the burial ground of the tribe’s ancestors and is itself seen as an ancestor. So that was a double cultural “fuck you” to the Maori. And now that the tribe is getting more say in how the mountain is treated, they are speaking out. “It’s only recently that we can have some input on what goes on at the mountain,” Dennis said. “We simply ask people to please be respectful. This latest case is just another really annoying example where someone obviously didn’t know how to behave here.”

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But Jaylene defended herself, saying she did research before and thought taking the picture was not offensive. Yeah, right…research. Dennis wasn’t convinced. “It’s a clash between Western assumptions and indigenous values and beliefs.” But Jaylene’s naked tits and ass on the mountain remains on her Instagram page. So the Maori will just have to deal with it for now.



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MILAN FASHION WEEK PRODUCED A SERIES OF FAMOUS NIPPLES DOWN THE RUNWAY

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Nipples on the runway appear to be dominating the news coming out of Milan Fashion Week. American model Bella Hadid, 20, walked the runway braless in a sheer top. Portuguese model Sara Sampaio, 25, followed suit with a braless see through, plunging sheer lilac dress from Alberta Ferretti’s new collection. Not to be out-nippled, New Zealander model Georgia Fowler, 24, walked braless in a transparent floor-length gown. We could think of no better to close out the weekend.

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STEVEN JOYCE TAKES A DILDO TO THE FACE WITHOUT FLINCHING

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We’re guessing that New Zealand Economic Development Minister Steven Joyce has taken a lot of dicks to the face. He recently took one to the face on camera and didn’t even flinch. A protester recently whipped a big white dildo at his face, and luckily the video was posted to YouTube. “That’s for raping our sovereignty,” she said. “That’s for raping our country, because of the TPPA and selling away our rights and our freedom.” Apparently, New Zealand is part of some controversial Trans-Pacific Partnership, which was signed yesterday, a new economic deal involving eleven Asian and Pacific-rim countries, plus the United States. Steven tried to pretend like he didn’t take dicks to the face on the regular. “Fair to say I don’t think those sorts of things happen everyday,” he told reporters. “We actually thought it was a little bit humorous at the end of it all … new experiences in politics everyday, it’s the privilege of serving.” We’re not convinced.

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STELLA MAXWELL IS THE HOT NEW VICTORIA’S SECRET ANGEL

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If you happen to follow Victoria’s Secret models, then you have to be ecstatic about new angel Stella Maxwell. She is an international beauty, 24, from New Zealand, born in Belgium to Irish parents. We’re not exactly sure what that makes her ethnically, Irish being the most obvious. But we don’t like labels and boxes, except labels like hot, sexy, beautiful, sensual and enticing, all of which we are certain Stella is. It didn’t take long to get Stella into the Angel’s rotation, her recent lingerie shoot a testament to the fact that she definitely belongs.

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