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DESHAUN WATSON AND PORN STAR MIA KHALIA PLAYING NERF BASKETBALL BEFORE HIS NFL START FOR THE HOUSTON TEXANS, LUCKY GUY

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Right before his NFL start on Thursday Night Football, Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson received a special message from his friend, former porn star Mia Khalifa. She posted a video of the two of them together playing nerf basketball, saying, “Happy birthday, @deshaunwatson! For the record, I let u block that dunk cause ur a rookie and I didn’t wanna risk hurting you before game 1”. Fans were quick to react. One said, “Deshaun ABORT ABORT this is a bad road you’re going down”. Another said, “Deshaun Watson is spending his bday with Mia Khalifa. Dont care what happens from here, he’s my favorite NFL QB ever”. And yet another wrote, “Not today Satan. Us @HoustonTexans fans have suffered enough”. The two best we think were, “A plot leading into a porn scene” and “Career ruined. She has a Kardishan similar type curse”. Take if from Lamar Odom, Deshaun… But on the other hand, Mia Khalifa might just be worth it.



sMIA1

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ERIC DECKER’S WIFE PUSSY BLOCKS WOMEN WHO SEND HIM NUDE PICTURES

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Eric Decker, 30, is a wide receiver for the NFL Tennessee Titans. And his wife, country singer Jessie James Decker, knows that woman offer him pussy left and right. So much in fact, she patrols his social media. On “E! News,” Carissa Culiner asked the couple, who have their own reality show, “Eric & Jessie: Game On,” “How would you handle these real life situations? A fan sends Eric a nude photo.” Jessie jumped on it quick, saying, “Oh it’s happened before, it has!” “Has it?” Eric asked. “And she was married too,” said Jessie. “You just didn’t see it. I checked it. I checked it on your Instagram DM and some woman sent you a naked photo and I looked to go look at her page. She had huge boobs too and she was married with children. I so badly wanted to send this to her husband but I didn’t. I just blocked her for you.” Eric said, “Thanks babe,” when we all really know he wanted to say, “Why the fuck did you do that?” But we figure, if you’re going to get cock blocked, at least it was by your hot wife.

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FORMER PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA DROPS “MR. IRRELEVANT” ON CHAD KELLY IN THIS YEAR’S NFL DRAFT

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Ole Miss quarterback Chad Kelly and former porn star Mia Khalifa have history. He tried to slide into her DMs, and she’s been calling him out ever since, not the least of which because she’s a diehard University of Florida fan (and alumnae). Chad was the last pick in this year’s NFL draft, going No. 253, to the Denver Broncos, reportedly after Broncos general manager John Elway talked with football great Jim Kelly, who vouched for his nephew. And as is tradition, the last one to go in the draft is given the title “Mr. Irrelevant,” and Mia didn’t hesitate to let Chad know with a tweet. You can just feel the sexual tension between the two. They might as well have sex already, and make a porn video out of it. Chad’s career isn’t going anywhere. And to be honest, neither is Mia’s. It would make a great comeback video.

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BUFFALO BILLS FANS THAT THREW A DICK AT THAT DICK TOM BRADY BANNED FOR LIFE

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Tom Brady may be a dick. And you can call Tom Brady a dick. That is the great thing about this country. But you can’t go to a Buffalo Bills game and throw a dick at Tom Brady. That will get you a lifetime ban from the stadium. Vice President of Operations & Guest Experience for the Buffalo Bills Andy Major announced the lifetime ban and the two fans responsible for throwing a dildo on the field at the Bills versus Patriots game, saying, “Luckily nobody was hurt, none of our players stepped on it and blew their knee out.” As everyone knows, dildos are the number one cause of injury in the NFL, so a lifetime ban was clearly the proper thing to do. Dicks.

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In case you missed Dildo-gate the first time around, here is the video of the fans throwing the rubber cock onto the field at that dick Tom Brady, which apparently they also recorded. If anyone “deserves” a dick in the face, it’s Tom.



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DILDO THROWN AT NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS, CAUSE TOM BRADY IS A CHEATING DICK

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Back from his suspension for his role in DeflateGate, Tom Brady is back at the helm of the New England Patriots and kicking ass across the NFL. But it seems not everyone is pleased. When the Patriots traveled to Buffalo to play the Bills, someone threw a big white dildo (dick) on the field as the Patriots were in the Red Zone. Tom Brady laughed it off saying, “I did see it. Yes I did, I did see it. I thought it was funny the ref didn’t want to pick it up. He was kicking it. Nobody wanted to reach down and grab it. That was very unusual. That was a first. Only in Buffalo. That was very unusual.” Yeah, laugh it up, dick, we can’t but believe they were throwing it at you.

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CAUSE FORMER PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA IS A FLIRT

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The Internet has opened our eyes to things we never realized before. Things we probably should have known, mostly suspected, but every said you were crazy for thinking. What is undeniable today is how much ass athletes are getting on the side, and from every corner of the planet. Porn stars especially. Lisa Ann sexes up professional and college athletes. And Mia Khalifa, now that she is retired, is stepping up her professional athlete game, flirting with NFL rookies. (But they say she’s just a friend.) For instance, Mia appears to have been sliding in and out of Redskins rookie linebacker Su’a Cravens’ DMs. Su’a started the speculation by tweeting, “Since she missed last weeks game had to make sure she’s on her Ps and Qs this week,” on Friday morning, with a screenshot of himself FaceTiming with Mia. Su’a explained later, after shit started blowing up, that after he was drafted this spring, Mia “hit me up then, just to congratulate me. So we just talked then, and we’ve just been friends ever since. She’s a real good fan, as well as a hockey fan. I’m not a hockey fan at all, so she’s been trying to get me to watch hockey and stuff. She’s a die-hard Capitals fan, so she gets mad at me whenever I make fun of her for watching it. But she’s just a friend.” Wait, wait, let us clear some bullshit out our throats. Haaaa-bullshit!

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Su’a said he FaceTimes with Mia “all the time,” but they haven’t yet met in person. He added that it’s “pretty dope” that Mia is a Redskins fan, and he said his teammates “thought it was cool, so I guess that’s all that matters.” As for the speculations, he said, “I didn’t specify, so I knew I was gonna let people assume what they wanted to, but I don’t really care. She’s just a friend, so it didn’t bother me too much.” Yeah, right, friends, like the television show.

sMKA1

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PRESEASON GRIDIRON RIVALRY: WHO HAS THE HOTTEST CHEERLEADERS, THE DALLAS COWBOYS OR THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES?

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The NFL preseason kicked off yesterday. We didn’t watch the games. We are still focused on the Olympics. And with everyone running around half naked in swimming or gymnastics uniforms, with perfectly sculpted young bodies, who wouldn’t watch? But the NFL did catch our gaze for a moment as we stopped, while NBC cut away to show the Fiji rugby players winning that country’s first gold medal. It was such a moving moment that didn’t concern us. So we switched attention to the NFL for a minute. Not the guys on the field, but the women on the sidelines. And we pondered a question that has forever plagued our consciousness, “You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.” There was something wrong with the NFL, an imbalance in the Force, and it was constantly disturbing us until we put a finger on it exactly. It was the question of who has the hottest cheerleaders in the NFL? Presumptively you might say the Dallas Cowboys. Texas. Blondes. Southern Charm. All the makings of the perfect cheerleader squad. But when we looked further, it wasn’t so open and shut. A lot of teams had talent, but only a few had talent to rival Dallas in full. One of those teams was long time rival on the field, the Philadelphia Eagles. So we felt the need to put it to a test. We selected the six hottest cheerleaders from each squad (entirely subjectively, and you may choose differently) and are asking, “Who’s got the hotter squad, Dallas or Philadelphia?”

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Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders — Caila, Stephanie, Kinzie, Loren, Holly, and Jaclyn





Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders — Victoria, Nitara, Amanda Grace, Erica, Farrah and Malia





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PORN STAR LISA ANN DENIES FUCKING RAY RICE IN CRAZED RANT ABOUT RACISM

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Porn star Lisa Ann, though retired, still gets treated like she’s a porn star. Let us not forget, though, she was and still is a legendary porn star. So that moniker ain’t going anywhere any time soon. Apparently Lisa Ann attend a charity event and took a picture with married former NFL player Ray Rice, and since then, everyone has speculated she fucked Ray, because she’s a porn star, known for fucking. But Lisa put those rumors to bed when approached by TMZ, saying, “Let me just say something to the world right now, okay. I did a celebrity charity event on Sunday in the Bronx at Orchard Beach for Hoops in the Sun. I was a coach. My team won. Ray Rice was not on my team, and my team won. Had he been on my team, he may have won. We met, we took a photo, that was it.” That was explanation enough. Lisa put it to bed and that was all that needed to be said.

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But Lisa continued, cause racism against white people in America is the leading problem in this country right now. Lisa said, “But I will tell you, I have been attacked by racists for the past 48 hours. I’m a taking a no social media day, because I had to black, block over a 1,000 people yesterday. And I cannot believe the intensity of hate and racism directed at me because I did a charity event. And took I pictures with people. Everybody needs to understand, just because I do something, I’m not always having sex. Just because I did porn, just like Ray Rice deserves a second chance in this world because he’s paid his price, he lost his opportunity. He’s no longer in the NFL. I deserve a second chance in life too. I did my job. I retired. I’ve moved on. I’m working really hard at something else. And I am constantly harassed, constantly disrespected, and constantly disregarded as a decent human being. And as for the racism end of it, I am distraught at where we are right now in this world. And that people don’t have better things to do than harass other people and bully other people on social media.” We feel for Lisa, we really do, but trying to play the racism card as a white women right now, just ain’t gonna fly. As as the biggest name is porn, almost ever, Lisa of all people has to know that it will follow her forever, for good and for bad. And complaining about it ain’t gonna change nothing. You can watch Lisa’s racism rant on TMZ here .

sLISA1

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REDSKINS FOOTBALL AND BLOWJOBS

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A girl that is willing to risk a public indecency charge to give you the blowjob you need to help you enjoy the home team winning a game at the stadium, is a rare find. But Redskins fans seem to have found two, at one game. Yes, two guys were caught receiving blowjobs at the Redskins/Buccaneers game on Sunday. These pictures of the action (the blowjobs not the game) have been going viral since Sunday. A witness who took the pic said: “All you saw was head movement from our angle. In the picture you can see his pants lower than normal. It stopped when someone came up to them and said get a room – followed by a lot of laughter from them.” And apparently one of the guys was motorboating the girl at some point, to cheers from the crowd. All we can say is that is classic. Classic.

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sBLO1 sBLO2

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WAS DONAVAN MCNABB HACKED OR JUST PORN LUSTING AFTER MIA KHALIFA ON TWITTER?

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NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb recently tweeted about how porn star “Mia Khalifa’s Instagram is Jaw Dropping.” Maybe he inadvertently clicked share while trolling porn about Mia Khalifa. Maybe he was hacked, as he is claiming. No one will really know. All we can say is this “hack” excuse is coming out a lot, and either hackers are very active on celebrity social media promoting porn (instead of radical political causes, as you might suspect hackers would) or some of these porn loving celebrities are just full o’ shit. We’re not certain in Donovan’s case, but there are many worse things than having a porn crush on Mia Khalifa. He ain’t the only one.

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sDON1 sMIA1

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