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In case you didn’t know, your dick is as unique as your retina or fingerprint, so it is a perfect body part for security. is putting this fact to good use and offering password protection, using your penis — penis recognition technology or PRT for short. They are calling it “Dick-ometrics.” CamSoda Vice President Darren Press gave an interview talking about how it all works. The biggest question, of course, is how safe is your dick picture for recognition purposes. Darren said, “The pictures are encrypted. Our team has worked tirelessly to ensure Dick-ometrics is satisfactory and completely safe. We understand people’s sensitivities and would never do anything to jeopardize their confidentiality. Dick-ometrics is being introduced to help ensure their confidentiality, not the other way around. The original picture someone takes is used to create a hashed datastore, but is never kept in an image format. Once we have the attributes of the user’s penis, we are able to authenticate it.” And the only question after that is, once you drop your pants and flash your dick, does it work? “Right now it identifies penises with a confidence of about 76 percent. The goal is to get it above 95 percent. The differences in the penile state, however, make this more difficult. Girth, length, curve, vascularity are all affected by the level of arousal. At the moment, we are focusing on erect penises as our go-to for login.” Maybe the FBI will catch on and use this as a way to secure our secrets against Russian hackers.

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