Former porn star Mia Khalifa has trolled some of the best college athletes and made them look like fools for attempting to creep into her DMs. But when she went out to troll Philadelphia Sixers center Joel Embiid, it backfired on Mia hard, cause Joel rode Mia’s ass hard with the perfect response. Mia posted a picture on her Instagram page of Joel and fellow Sixers, saying “Room full of L’s.” Joel didn’t take the slight too kindly, and responded, “Says the woman with miles of D.” Mia promptly replied on Twitter, “Lesson learned: don’t mess with the Sixers.” We doubt Mia has learned her lesson, but she just isn’t ready for the pros. In case you were wondering, there are 63,360 inches in a mile. Now assuming that the average porn star penis is 9″ long, Mia would have had to have teen 7,049 dicks to get to a mile, so miles may be a bit over the top, but point well taken, Joel.
Dick, Instagram, Joel Embiid, Mia Khalifa, Miles, Philadelphia, Porn, Porn Star, Sixers
DEMOCRATS ARE PERVERTS TOO, THEY SEARCHED A LOT OF HILLARY CLINTON AND MICHELLE OBAMA PORN THE FIRST DAY OF THEIR NATIONAL CONVENTION
You heard all about how the Republicans were setting records in Cleveland for their national convention with their porn searches, including huge spikes in gay porn, muslim porn, and Melania Trump porn. Well, the Democrats are no better. As Day 1 of the Democratic National Convention gets underway, xHampster is reporting huge spikes in porn searches in the city of brotherly love, currently hosting the convention (that’s Philadelphia, if you didn’t know). According to xHamster, thee was a significant spike in viewers on their website during the first night, with an overall increase in traffic of 7.4%. That was to be expected. Bill Clinton probably accounted for at least 4% of the increase in his hotel room alone. What was more interesting, disturbing, or just make you want to poke your eyes out sick, was that porn searches for “Hillary” skyrocketed by 437%. (And my god, that was a little bit of vomit coming up…) But Hillary was eclipsed by another First Lady, Michelle Obama, who saw porn searches for name, “Michelle Obama,” increase by a staggering 1428%. You sick, sick Democrats.
Democrat, Democratic National Convention, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Philadelphia, Porn, xHamster
Archbishop Charles Chaput, the archbishop for Philadelphia, issued a new set of pastoral guidelines for clergy and other leaders in the archdiocese that went into effect July 1. He is departing from the new pope, in favor of St. John Paul II’s doctrine. The new guidelines require that, “Undertaking to live as brother and sister is necessary for the divorced and civilly remarried to receive reconciliation in the Sacrament of Penance, which could then open the way to the Eucharist.” And it wasn’t just divorced Catholics. The guidelines say that Catholics in same-sex partnerships, civilly remarried parishioners and unmarried couples living together should not be permitted to serve on parish councils, instruct the faithful, serve as lectors or dispense Communion. It refereed to those as “irregular” relationships, which “offer a serious counter-witness to Catholic belief, which can only produce moral confusion in the community.” We see a lot of faithful leaving the fold on this one, cause no sex ain’t gonna happen. No way. Not in this lifetime. Maybe in the afterlife, where under Catholic dogma, they will assuredly burn in hell. Might as well get to fuckin’ now.
Archbishop Charles Chaput, Catholic Church, Divorced, Philadelphia, Remarriage, Same-Sex Couples, Sex, St. John Paul II
This Craigslist ad is making national news. We’re assuming this was Dad’s idea, to find a “Sugar Baby for my Son” according to his post on Craigslist, trying to find a girl to take his son’s virginity and “Keep dating him (and showing him different sex positions) til he goes to college.” The son is set to go off to Harvard in the Fall, but according to Dad (again, our assumption here), he’s “extremely smart but socially awkward, has never had a girl friend and … he’s a virgin.” Why change the status quo, Dad, he’ll fit right in at Harvard. This well meaning father put a lot of thought into finding the right girl/prostitute for his son, posting in the “casual encounters” section of Craigslist in Philadelphia. At least we have to give him credit for showing an active interest in his son’s life, though maybe a little over-active. Clearly, Dad, a boy should learn to buy a prostitute on his own. Cause learning that your Dad secretly set you up with a prostitute from Craigslist, that’s not traumatizing at all… Dr. Phil, here’s a family soon coming your way.
Craigslist, Father, Harvard, Philadelphia, Prostituet, Son, Sugar Baby