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SLEEPCUPID MADE A CELEBRITY FUCK LIST, AND YOU KNOW WHO’S ON TOP, KIM KARDASHIAN

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Sleep Cupid asked over 6,000 people around the world which celebrities they most want to sleep with, and made infographic charts for the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Europe, Brazil, Australia and New Zealand. In the United States, guessing the top seed that most guys wanted to seed was not hard, Kim Kardashian. The rest of the list seemed a bit outdated in our opinion, Scarlett Johansson made sense, but then Mila Kunis, Ariana Grande, Beyonce, Kelly Cuoco, and Sophia Vergara didn’t. We felt like Brazil had it closer to this decade, with Anitta, Juliana Paps, Fernanda Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Adriana Lima. You can decide for yourself, though it makes some sense that the world would see things different on this one. Take the U.K., for example. Everyone wanted to fuck the future queen of England, Kate Middleton. Perhaps thinking they could get their seed into the royal line. Again, that made sense. But Emma Watson was another head scratcher. She is just fucking irritating. Margot Robbie toping the Australian chart made sense, but then Elle Macpherson, who is pushing 60 (she’s actually 52), who the hell is holding on to that 1980s crush. She’s like Kate Moss coming in at No. 6 in the U.K. It would be like Madonna for the U.S., but thankfully nobody said they still wanted to ride that party bus. We are left with more than a few questions about who Sleep Cupid polled, but it isn’t something that we’re going to focus on for very long.

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IS HAVING SEX WITH A SEX DOLL CHEATING? 60% OF MARRIED PEOPLE THINK SO

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Geeks everywhere are getting more and more excited about the prospect of being able to have sex with a robot. It is basically here today, with Real Sex Dolls and other sex science advances that have produced near life-like sex dolls (though cleaning them is still a bitch). Now that every nerd in the world is talking sex dolls, UK dating website IllicitEncounters.com, polled over 800 of its members (who are married seeking sex), asking whether they believed that sex with a sex doll was cheating. Some 41% of respondents did not think that sex dolls were cheating. They, like us, thought it was just like using any sex toy or porn for masturbation. But surprisingly, 59% believed that sleeping with a sex doll counted as cheating. They indicated that their partner’s use of a sex doll denied them of love and attention in favor of an inanimate object. Christian Grant from IllicitEncounters.com said, “What’s apparent is that the majority are worried of feeling inferior to an inanimate object.” But that said, for those looking to cheat on IllicitEncounters.com, having sex with a sex doll wasn’t cheating enough for them. When asked whether having sex with sex doll would stop them from cheating, 80% said no, sex with a sex would not prevent them from having a real-life affair. Only 5% said yes, it would, and 15% were unsure.

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SHE WANTS YOU TO SAY “CALL ME DADDY” DURING SEX AND HAVE A BIG DICK

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If you’ve ever asked “what women want,” a new research study, conducted by Forktip.com, asked 5,000 people about their sexual habits and preferences, in an effort to find out. And in terms of dirty talk in bed, what women want is for their partner to say, “call me daddy.” Daddy issues seem common among all women, not just strippers. And women want to be told “how tight it is” and “how much he’s enjoying it,” according to the poll. If you want to know if you’re her “type,” the survey also found the top three qualities women want are: a big dick, muscles and height. Men are equally superficial (which is why most relationships fail after a few months); they wanted a slim woman with a big booty and big tits. And as to the crown jewel of every man’s fantasy, 27.7% of women said they would be open to a bisexual threesome. All you have to do is ask, well, that is if you have big dick, muscles and tell her how tight her pussy is after saying, “call me daddy.”

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PORN IS STILL “MORALLY UNACCEPTABLE” IN AMERICA, BUT STILL WINNING

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According to a new poll by the Gallup organization, Americans find pornography “morally unacceptable” by a two-to-one margin, as 61% of Americans say porn is morally unacceptable, to 34% who say it is acceptable. We find this interesting, because, while the Gallop poll did not explain this issue, we wonder how many of those 61% who find it “morally unacceptable” also find themselves morally watching it. But the upside is that porn is making a moral move in its acceptable numbers. Gallup has tracked moral trends for several years, and sex trends on on the rise. Homosexuality has made the biggest gains, as 40% found it morally acceptable in 2001, and 60% do today. Teen sex was only had 32% acceptability in 2013, with 37% finding it morally acceptable today. And porn, porn was at 31% in 2011 and has risen to 34% today. The poll did reveal several gaps. A gender gap: while the majority of both men and women disapprove of pornography morally, men approve 43% as compared to only 25% of women. There is also a big political gap. Twice as many Democrats (46%) approve of pornography as do Republicans (22%). Sometimes progress can be slow.

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WHAT THE PERFECT MISTRESS LOOKS LIKE

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If you’re cheating on your wife, then you may want to take note of what SeeekingArrangments.com has identified as the perfect mistress, cause maybe you’re doing it all wrong. SeekingArrangements.com is a sugar daddy website, and they polled their philandering members, almost 500,000 of them, to find out what the “perfect mistress,” that hot side piece of ass you cruise around with during the work day and on “business trips” looks like. Don’t expect many surprises here, the “perfect mistress” seems to be just the stock reflection of the hopes and dreams of the same single, white male. She is, according to SeekingArrangments.com, blonde with green eyes, either Asian (30%) or Caucasian (32%), with a Bachelor’s Degree, doesn’t smoke, is athletic, especially into yoga, and is somewhere between 26 and 32, with, as you might image,a perfect 32D bust. Here she is, Ms. Home-Wrecker, so women, be on the lookout for this bitch:

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