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PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA EJECTED FROM DODGERS GAME

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa is more popular as a social media celebrity than she ever was as a porn star, well among mainstream news anyway. She was a huge fucking porn star, so you should appreciate how much bigger she is now. If you happen to follow the antics of Mia, she was recently reportedly ejected from the Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Chicago Cubs game over the weekend, as a fan tried to take a selfie with her without her permission, and she punched the fan in the jaw before being removed. Now, that’s the story. But Mia is calling fake news. It’s sort of a Donald Trump move. But Mia shared a photo of herself at the game on Instagram, saying, “Update: still prefer regular season hockey over playoff baseball. And no, I didn’t get kicked out.” Now, that could have easily been a picture before she got her ass hauled out. Because video of the incident circulating the Internet seems to show Mia getting walked out. And Mia herself tried to explain it saying, “They were not booing us. They were booing security for making us leave.” So, it isn’t clear what part Mia was calling fake news, when she said, “It was fake news. I didn’t get kicked out.” Who knows? Who cares? As with most thing, Mia Khalifa news, gives us reason to share Mia Khalifa pictures.

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GILBERT ARENAS PUT PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA ON BLAST FOR SLIDING INTO HIS DMS

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa puts everybody on blast for pathetically sliding into her DMs. Just last month, she put Chicago Cubs’ Wilson Contreras on blast for it. But what goes around, comes the fuck back around. Mia Khalifa pathetically slides into DMs too. Former NBA All-Star Gilbert Arenas posted Mia’s DMs to him, saying, “@miakhalifa would slide in my dm #fortheD the thirst is real since backpage is gone this #Bihhh has no room for negotiations with me.. $150 or you better slide into #nelly dm for that raw dick behind a #walmart”. Mia’s DMs were sad, trying to hit up Gilbert three times over October 2-5. She said, “Hey! I’m back in LA, it was so nice meeting you last time I was here. Do you wanna grab dinner or something? I don’t know too many people out here lol”. Then she posted to wine glass emojis, and then she tried again, saying, “Doing anything for the Caps game tonight?” And then finally she gave up, saying, “Damn no love for the DC fam”. After Gilbert blew her shit up, Mia tweeted, “Is Gilbert Arenas even relevant anymore?” But after swinging on his dick, that ain’t the comeback Mia.



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PORN STAR CHERIE DEVILLE AND COOLIO “RUNNING” FOR PRESIDENT IN 2020

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Porn star Cherie Deville is running for president, with rapper Coolio as her vice president, with Khloe Terae and Kennedy Summers already part of her cabinet. Security will be run by WWE legend Virgil. Yes, it’s a stupid publicity stunt, to draw attention to a porn website (www.fuckingawesome.com). Yes, there is no way in hell Cherie has a chance of winning (though, we would have said that about Donald Trump only a few years back). But the porn star has at least started to differentiate herself from the president and offered ways in which she would put the United States back on the right path, depending on your politics. In an interview with the Daily Star Online, where all candidates go to launch their campaign, Cherie said, “The ways I would differ from President Trump are endless. I believe in immigration, and America being a land of opportunity. I’d say the largest difference between Donald Trump and myself is I have integrity.” As to international foreign policy, she said, “The regime in North Korea has been known for its aggressive rhetoric since the Korean war ended. All the Presidents before Trump have carefully used diplomacy to keep the Kim family at bay. With the advancements that Kim Jong-un has made in North Korea’s nuclear programme, verbally attacking and provoking him is not a smart move by the current administration. Avoiding nuclear war is my priority, not my ego.” Cherie has no chance of winning, as we said, but we wish her well. And Coolio too! Welcome back to the light buddy.

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PORN STAR AUGUST AMES IS MAKING INSTAGRAM HER BITCH, PACKING HER PAGE WITH PORN, PORN, PORN

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If Instagram has a policy against nudity, porn star August Ames is putting that policy to the test. She has been posting the most erotic pictures anyone has seen on Instagram. And people are starting to take notice. The porn star now has 986K followers. We suspect she’ll be a 1 million soon. Our personal favorite is the picture of August with cum drizzling down from her mouth down over her tits, smeared mascara face, with just her nipples scribbled out. Yeah, she’ll be at 1 million soon.





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PORNHUB ADVERTISING CORY CHASE PORN VIDEO LIKED BY TED CRUZ, USING TED CRUZ

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Texas Senator Ted Cruz liked porn star Cory Chase’s porn video, “Dick For Two”. Lying Ted said it was all a mistake. A staffer. Sure…. Whatever really happened, Pornhub, who owns Reality Kings, who produced the video, is wasting no time taking advantage of Ted’s now infamous like. You can now watch “Dick For Two” on Pornhub for free, which has been retitled “TED CRUZ DID NOTHING WRONG! – CORY CHASE LIKED BY TED CRUZ.” Pornhub vice president, Corey Price, said “Dick For Two” is “the fastest porn video to reach one million views.” And all thanks to Ted Cruz. At least he’s winning at something, even if it’s promoting porn.



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DESHAUN WATSON AND PORN STAR MIA KHALIA PLAYING NERF BASKETBALL BEFORE HIS NFL START FOR THE HOUSTON TEXANS, LUCKY GUY

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Right before his NFL start on Thursday Night Football, Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson received a special message from his friend, former porn star Mia Khalifa. She posted a video of the two of them together playing nerf basketball, saying, “Happy birthday, @deshaunwatson! For the record, I let u block that dunk cause ur a rookie and I didn’t wanna risk hurting you before game 1”. Fans were quick to react. One said, “Deshaun ABORT ABORT this is a bad road you’re going down”. Another said, “Deshaun Watson is spending his bday with Mia Khalifa. Dont care what happens from here, he’s my favorite NFL QB ever”. And yet another wrote, “Not today Satan. Us @HoustonTexans fans have suffered enough”. The two best we think were, “A plot leading into a porn scene” and “Career ruined. She has a Kardishan similar type curse”. Take if from Lamar Odom, Deshaun… But on the other hand, Mia Khalifa might just be worth it.



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FARRAH ABRAHAM DROPPED HER MASTURBATION WEBCAM LAST NIGHT

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As promised, Farrah Abraham plastered her rejuvenated pussy all over CamSoda.com, in a masturbation webcam. We didn’t watch. But the pictures from her performance are hitting the Internet hard. She played with a Hitachi vibrator and what appeared to be a Flashlight, which pretty much guarantees that she’ll be releasing her fresh pussy mold for Flashlight soon. Since we didn’t watch, we can’t tell you much about the show, apart from what we gleaned from the pictures. But from what we gleaned it looked like Farrah put her pussy into it. We might just watch the next one.

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BACKDOOR TEEN MOM FARRAH ABRAHAM RETURNS TO PORN, DOING NUDE WEBCAM FOR CAMSODA

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After expressing regret over having her ass penetrated (twice) by porn star James Dean for a “personal sex tape,” that was distributed through one of porn’s major video distributors, and for appearing at the AVN Porn Awards where she was nominated for her performance, backdoor teen mom Farrah Abraham is now back in the saddle, doing porn again. Well, not exactly, she is only nude webcamming for CamSoda.com. She will premiere on the site Wednesday evening at 9PM EST, but it is unclear whether she will have a regular schedule or this is one of those “personal webcams” that she intended to keep private, but broadcast to the whole world. Now that she had her vagina “rejuvenated” back in August, this might be a show worth watching.



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REPUBLICAN TED CRUZ LIKED A PORN STAR COREY CHASE POST ON TWITTER, SHE WANTS HIM TO SHOW LOVE AND SUPPORT HER ON CLIPS4SALE

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Texas Republican U.S. Senator Ted Cruz liked a tweet featuring a video of porn star Cory Chase last night. Now Clips4Sale is offering Ted Cruz some help to access more Cory Chase porn. “Ted, we’re here to help,” said Clips4Sale’s owner Neil. “You can buy her clips in our stores and no one will know. All shopping is anonymous. I spoke with Cory this morning and she’s glad you like her and hopes you will buy her exclusive content in her Jerky Wives store. Clips4Sale is the #1 downloadable clips site and we want you to check it out.” The original tweet came from @SexuallPosts. Now it has changed its Twitter bio to read: “Follow the same porn that @TedCruz watches.” But as always happens, Lying Ted has disassociated himself from his porn tastes. His spokeswoman, Catherine Frazier tweeted, “The offensive tweet posted on @tedcruz account earlier has been removed by staff and reported to Twitter.” Stop lying Ted, you like the porn.

Cory Chase also issued her own statement. “You can imagine my surprise when I found out what all the buzz was about,” she said. “As a porn star you are used to a certain level of attention and social media activity, but [since] Senator Cruz took the time to endorse my work, you can imagine the new level of interest in me that created.” She added, “Regardless if it was his staff or the senator himself letting his freak out at night, I encourage him to continue watching porn and paying for porn, my porn specifically.”



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CUBS CATCHER WILLSON CONTRERAS PUNKED BY PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA, WHO REVEALED HOW SHE REJECTED HIM WHEN HE HIT HER UP IN THE DM

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Chicago Cubs catcher Willson Contreras tried to fuck former porn star Mia Khalifa. And like others who have tried, he got publicly humiliated. Mia posted his attempts to hit her up in the DM, and her single-word rejection. The messages begin on August 4, with Willson writing: “Hi how are you?” He tries again with “I’m sure you get this a lot but I’m a big fan of you,” and then, “It will be great if you just say hi.” Mia responds with a one-word message – “Bye.” But Willson keeps trying, sending her messages over the next month. Mia posted the screenshots with the message, “Cubbies, your man’s is wandering around left field. Can you come get him? @Cubs”. Octagon Baseball, the agency that represents Willson, claimed that his “twitter account was hacked” — for a month. Willson needs to step up his porn star DM game and his denial game. “It wasn’t me” just ain’t cutting it these days.



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FORMER PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA TALKS ABOUT ISIS THREATS TO BEHEAD HER AND HOW SHE AIN’T SCURRED

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In between threatening the United States government, terrorist group ISIS takes time to threaten porn stars like Mia Khalifa, threatening to “behead” Mia (not exactly realizing that Mia’s best qualities are below her neck anyway). ISIS has been threatening Mia for some time, but she recently talked about it in an interview with The Sports Junkies on 106.7 The Fan Thursday. “She’s actually had ISIS threaten her,” Junkies host Eric Bickel said. “Could you imagine? How do you walk around? I wouldn’t leave the house!” Mia responded, “I think that starting out with ISIS threatening to behead me really set the standard. Like, I look at a Cowboys fan, I’m like, ‘You cannot hurt me. I have ISIS threaten me. You are not scaring me.” (We’re pretty sure a Cowboys fan could still knock Mia the fuck out, or abduct her or, or some other strange shit, cause, remember, Texas. So Mia may want to rethink that one.). Mia was called out by ISIS because she is Lebanese, and frequently wore a hijab in her porn scenes.

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“So how did they threaten you,” Jason Bishop asked. “It was through social media,” Mia said. “They photoshopped a picture of me being beheaded and threatened that that would happen to me.” “How do you sleep at night,” Eric followed-up. “Did that worry you at all,” Jason added, “for one second?” “It does, but I try not to show it, because you can’t show weakness. That’s exactly what they’re looking for. I really try and just make it look like it rolls off, but I’ll admit, it gets to you after a while,” Mia said. Don’t lie, Mia, you was scurred. Yeah, you was. You was scurred.



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PORN STAR KIM HOLLAND CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES FOR SHOOTING PORN IN CHURCH CONFESSIONAL IN HOLLAND, CAUSE BLASPHEMY AIN’T A CRIME

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Porn star Kim Holland shot a porn sex scene in a church confessional in Holland. The flick was shot in St. Joseph Church and other areas of the southern Dutch city of Tilburg earlier this year. Kim uploaded it to her website. The church board complained (how they found out is a mystery, probably not that hard to solve if you think for a second). But the public prosecutor in the nearby city of Breda decided that the criminal complaint against Kim and her partner would be dismissed after determining there was been “no punishable offence.” Because blasphemy is no longer a crime in Holland. And the church is open to the public. Chief public prosecutor Charles van der Voort had to explain to pastor Jan van Noorwegen and vice chairman Harrie de Swart of the church board why it was impossible to prosecute anyone in the case, and apparently why Kim might be back to “confess” some more.

A spokeswoman from the public prosecutor’s office said: “While the recording is very offensive and shows little respect, there is no punishable offence.” The pastor said, “Of course I am not happy with this. Do we agree that the craziest things can happen in public buildings? Imagine. Be it inside a church, in the city hall or in a restaurant, apparently all is allowed.” (Time to head to Holland.). The St. Joseph church was spiritually cleansed in a special church service after Kim defiled with with her pussy, as the pastor asked God for forgiveness for the desecration of the premises.

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MIA KHALIFA OFFERS UP HER TITS TO CHANGE JOHN WALL’S NBA RATING

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa is back in the habit. As many who follower her after porn know, she is a big Washington Wizards sports fan, among other D.C. teams, and in particular a fan of point guard John Wall. In the upcoming NBA 2K18 video game, John was rated a 90. In contrast, Steph Curry was rated a 94. Mia was displeased and felt John at least deserved a 93 rating. So she took to Twitter and tweeted at Ronnie2K, the video game’s marketing director. First she said, “Play me in HORSE to change Wall’s 90 to a 93”. That failed. Then she tweeted, “I’ll let you touch my tiddies”. Ronnie said, “The ratings more sacred.” (More sacred than Mia Khalifa’s tits, blasphemy!) So Mia tried again, reply, “A lot of 14 year olds in Brazil would disagree. Take the tiddies and change the rating.” But no dice. We would have taken that deal, though, without thinking twice.

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ASIAN PORN STAR ASA AKIRA NOW HAS A FULL BODY SEX DOLL REPLICA, SO YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO FUCK AROUND WITH A POCKET PUSSY

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California-based sex doll manufacturer Abyss Creations is giving Fleshlight a run for its porn star pussy money. Abyss has a new line of porn star sex dolls, not just a copy of a porn star’s pussy in a plastic flashlight. The company has made an exact replica of porn stars, from head to toe, pussy included. It is their Wicked Real Doll. There are three porn stars so far, Asa Akira, Jessica Drake and Stormy Daniels. These new porn star sex doll boasts advertised never seen before features to maximise pleasure, like built-in heaters to give a body-heat feel and sensors that respond to touch. Akira talked about her new sex doll, saying, “She’s a little bit smaller than me so, what, like 75 pounds? Well, a lot less. But I’m scared she’s better than me?” And she may have reason to be scared, as the doll is reportedly going to be used in an upcoming porn flick. Though, Asa isn’t likely to concerned, as her sex doll is the most expensive on the market today. She’ll be making money no matter what.

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PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA PLAYS SISKEL AND EBERT, CAUSE NOW SHE’S A MOVIE CRITIC

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa is now playing movie critic. She recently took to critiquing Christopher Nolan’s latest film, Dunkirk, which is centered on the evacuation of Allied soldiers from the North of France during World War II. Mia started on Twitter, saying, “I love Chris Nolan more than I love my dogs, but Dunkirk sucked more dick than I did in 2014”. She then posted a video critic on YouTube. She wrote in the description, “Jerf is drugged and swollen from his wisdom teeth extraction, but we managed to get out of the house and watch Dunkirk. We were less than impressed and both agreed, had we not possessed basic knowledge regarding the rescue at the beaches of Dunkirk, we would have had no fucking clue what was going on in this movie…. 7/10, though. Chris Nolan can do no wrong.” Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 92 out of 100 and the film has mostly received praise. But Mia wasn’t having it. “I didn’t know if this whole thing lasted 23 hours or if the rescue mission took like two and a half months,” Mia said. “You never knew what time of day it was, what the fucking temperature was… I’m like, ‘What the fuck is going on?'” She added, “Did this end World War II, or was this like… a random battle? You could not tell. There was no context.” Mia’s no Siskel and Ebert, but she was still a hot fucking porn star.

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PORN STAR ELIZABETH STARR’S O CUP IMPLANTS ARE LEAKING, SO SHE WENT ON “BOTCHED”

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Porn star Elizabeth Starr, 47, got her tits super-sized implants in 1999, going from from a 38F chest up to her current O-cup size, with 4,000cc polypropylene implants. They leaked. But Elizabeth didn’t have them removed, because she built a porn name around her gigantic tits. They continued to leak to the point where she finally on the show “Botched!” with surgeons Terry Dubrow and Paul Nassif, to see what she could do. “My right breast was bright red and swollen and I felt weak and shaky,” Elizabeth told the doctors. “But the infection gradually ate a hole in my right breast the size of a one-dollar piece. The pain was unbearable.” The doctors of course said to take them out. And now Elizabeth is sound the alarm for the one or two women in the world who have ever gone as far as she has, “If you are going to attempt to try to become as busty as I am you are putting yourself at extreme risk.” No shit, Sherlock.

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