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PORN STAR KIM HOLLAND CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES FOR SHOOTING PORN IN CHURCH CONFESSIONAL IN HOLLAND, CAUSE BLASPHEMY AIN’T A CRIME

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Porn star Kim Holland shot a porn sex scene in a church confessional in Holland. The flick was shot in St Joseph Church and other areas of the Southern Dutch city of Tilburg earlier this year. Kim uploaded it to her website. The church board complained (how they found out is a mystery, probably not that hard to solve if you think for a second). But the public prosecutor in the nearby city of Breda decided that the criminal complaint against Kim and her partner will be dismissed after determining there was been “no punishable offence.” Blasphemy is no longer a crime in Holland. And the church is open to the public. Chief public prosecutor Charles van der Voort had to explain to pastor Jan van Noorwegen and vice chairman Harrie de Swart of the church board why it was impossible to prosecute anyone in the case, and apparently why Kim might be back to “confess” some more.
A spokeswoman from the public prosecutor’s office said: “While the recording is very offensive and shows little respect, there is no punishable offence.” The pastor said, “Of course I am not happy with this. Do we agree that the craziest things can happen in public buildings? Imagine. Be it inside a church, in the city hall or in a restaurant, apparently all is allowed.” (Time to head to Holland.). The St Joseph church was spiritually cleansed in a special church service after Kim defiled with with her pussy, as the pastor asked God for forgiveness for the desecration of the premises.

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MIA KHALIFA OFFERS UP HER TITS TO CHANGE JOHN WALL’S NBA RATING

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa is back in the habit. As many who follower her after porn know, she is a big Washington Wizards sports fan, among other D.C. teams, and in particular a fan of point guard John Wall. In the upcoming NBA 2K18 video game, John was rated a 90. In contrast, Steph Curry was rated a 94. Mia was displeased and felt John at least deserved a 93 rating. So she took to Twitter and tweeted at Ronnie2K, the video game’s marketing director. First she said, “Play me in HORSE to change Wall’s 90 to a 93”. That failed. Then she tweeted, “I’ll let you touch my tiddies”. Ronnie said, “The ratings more sacred.” (More sacred than Mia Khalifa’s tits, blasphemy!) So Mia tried again, reply, “A lot of 14 year olds in Brazil would disagree. Take the tiddies and change the rating.” But no dice. We would have taken that deal, though, without thinking twice.

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ASIAN PORN STAR ASA AKIRA NOW HAS A FULL BODY SEX DOLL REPLICA, SO YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO FUCK AROUND WITH A POCKET PUSSY

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California-based sex doll manufacturer Abyss Creations is giving Fleshlight a run for its porn star pussy money. Abyss has a new line of porn star sex dolls, not just a copy of a porn star’s pussy in a plastic flashlight. The company has made an exact replica of porn stars, from head to toe, pussy included. It is their Wicked Real Doll. There are three porn stars so far, Asa Akira, Jessica Drake and Stormy Daniels. These new porn star sex doll boasts advertised never seen before features to maximise pleasure, like built-in heaters to give a body-heat feel and sensors that respond to touch. Akira talked about her new sex doll, saying, “She’s a little bit smaller than me so, what, like 75 pounds? Well, a lot less. But I’m scared she’s better than me?” And she may have reason to be scared, as the doll is reportedly going to be used in an upcoming porn flick. Though, Asa isn’t likely to concerned, as her sex doll is the most expensive on the market today. She’ll be making money no matter what.

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PORN STAR MIA KHALIFA PLAYS SISKEL AND EBERT, CAUSE NOW SHE’S A MOVIE CRITIC

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa is now playing movie critic. She recently took to critiquing Christopher Nolan’s latest film, Dunkirk, which is centered on the evacuation of Allied soldiers from the North of France during World War II. Mia started on Twitter, saying, “I love Chris Nolan more than I love my dogs, but Dunkirk sucked more dick than I did in 2014”. She then posted a video critic on YouTube. She wrote in the description, “Jerf is drugged and swollen from his wisdom teeth extraction, but we managed to get out of the house and watch Dunkirk. We were less than impressed and both agreed, had we not possessed basic knowledge regarding the rescue at the beaches of Dunkirk, we would have had no fucking clue what was going on in this movie…. 7/10, though. Chris Nolan can do no wrong.” Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 92 out of 100 and the film has mostly received praise. But Mia wasn’t having it. “I didn’t know if this whole thing lasted 23 hours or if the rescue mission took like two and a half months,” Mia said. “You never knew what time of day it was, what the fucking temperature was… I’m like, ‘What the fuck is going on?'” She added, “Did this end World War II, or was this like… a random battle? You could not tell. There was no context.” Mia’s no Siskel and Ebert, but she was still a hot fucking porn star.

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PORN STAR ELIZABETH STARR’S O CUP IMPLANTS ARE LEAKING, SO SHE WENT ON “BOTCHED”

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Porn star Elizabeth Starr, 47, got her tits super-sized implants in 1999, going from from a 38F chest up to her current O-cup size, with 4,000cc polypropylene implants. They leaked. But Elizabeth didn’t have them removed, because she built a porn name around her gigantic tits. They continued to leak to the point where she finally on the show “Botched!” with surgeons Terry Dubrow and Paul Nassif, to see what she could do. “My right breast was bright red and swollen and I felt weak and shaky,” Elizabeth told the doctors. “But the infection gradually ate a hole in my right breast the size of a one-dollar piece. The pain was unbearable.” The doctors of course said to take them out. And now Elizabeth is sound the alarm for the one or two women in the world who have ever gone as far as she has, “If you are going to attempt to try to become as busty as I am you are putting yourself at extreme risk.” No shit, Sherlock.

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PORN STAR MAVENDALL ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC SEX

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Porn is tolerated, popular even (in private). Porn in public is a no-no. Porn star MayvenDoll, like others before her, has built a brand around public sex. And that kind of a brand never ends well. It didn’t for Mayven. MayvenDoll’s real name is Leslie Lanae Sessions, 30. She and her boyfriend (co-star/producer), Derek Calloway, were both arrested for their public sex themes. MayvenDoll was charged with eight counts of public display of hardcore sexual activity, three counts of obscene film and four counts of promoting obscene performance, according to District Prosecutor Scott Ellington. Derek faces three counts of each charge. An anonymous tipster notified the Street Crimes Unit of the Jonesboro, Arkansas Police Department, that MayvenDoll was performing sexual activities in public across Jonesboro. The source led police to the videos uploaded to porn websites online. One video showed MavenDoll going into Home Depot in Jonesboro, bending over to show her panties and flashing down different aisles of the store. According to reports, the big issue appeared to be that some of the acts took place in proximity to locations like playgrounds, public benches, and the like. As we said, this public sex genre never seems to end well.

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COLTS OWNER JIM ISRAY’S TWITTER ACCOUNT SHARING PORN THEN DELETING AND CALLING IT A HACK

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For about 12 minutes, we got a glimpse into Indianapolis Colts’ owner Jim Isray’s porn tastes, or insight into the tastes of the person who hacked his account, which we’ll never truly know. Jim claims he was hacked. His account tweeted a cropped picture Hungarian porn star Anette Dawn, focused in on her lady parts. The tweet was quickly deleted. Denials and apologies were issued. Just after the porn appeared a second tweet targeted toward news organizations and the Indiana Pacers went out, which people are saying suggests a hack (or a Machievellian cover up). We will never truly know the source of the porn tweet, but it does give us a moment to appreciate porn stat Anette Dawn, we found the full image and included it below.

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NINA SKYE CHOOSES PORN OVER TEACHING AFTER GIVEN ULTIMATUM BY CATHOLIC SCHOOL

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Christian school teaching and porn don’t mix. That should be obvious to anyone. It became much more obvious to porn star Nina Skye after she was fired from her job as a preschool teacher at her Christian school. Nina Skye told Fox News, “I couldn’t work there because it goes against their statement of faith that it goes against their views of fornication, like sex before marriage and that’s what I’m doing. They say it goes against the paper I signed, saying I wouldn’t do that.” Nina is a new porn starlet, having only started this year. But she calls it her dream job, “having sex.” She added, “It is easy money. For my very first scene, I just did a regular boy on girl scene and I got paid $2500 on the spot. I never had that much money, ever, just handed to me in my life.” Unfortunately, Nina will soon find out that won’t last.

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Because of the porn money, Nina rejected an offer from her school to help with housing and a pay raise. She said, “They were really trying to pull me away from staying in the industry, they just really wanted me out. They offered help and advice, but I don’t really want out of the industry.” So in the battle between porn and religion, porn scores another win (even if only short term).



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ANGELIQUE (FRENCHY) MORGAN TOPLESS

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Former stripper and porn star Frenchy is trying to find her place at 41. Most strippers and porn stars either (1) continue working to the bottom, finding themselves in some shit hole club in Montreal, (2) made enough money in porn to live independently, (3) married some dumbass fan (or a series of them one after another) that is taking care of them, or (4) died tragically due to some form of drug or alcohol addiction. It is a tough life after porn. Frenchy has found a place as a social media celebrity of sorts. She is always naked in public somewhere seeking attention. She was naked again recently, and we are giving her attention again, cause we’re like that hopeless fan who keeps supporting her no matter what.

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RILEY NIXON OFFERS FANS OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE SEX WITH HER, BUT ONLY IF YOU TIP HER 1,000 TOKENS ON SKYNCAMS

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Riley Nixon is a hot young new porn star from Canada that’s been in the business all of a year. She has posed for Penthouse and she has plenty of porn films to her credit, 35 according to Iafd.com. And now she’s giving her fans the chance to fuck her in person, but there’s a catch. There’s always a catch, and in this case, there are a few. It’s a contest, sponsored by Skyncams.com. The main prize is of course fucking Riley in an adult scene, but you have to be willing to appear in the scene (though, apparently, you can wear a mask). But you also get dinner with Riley, and a 3 day, 2 night stay in Las Vegas with accommodations and airfare included. And that’s not half-bad. But there’s another catch. You have to sign up to Skyncams.com as a free member, buy 1,000 tokens and tip Riley the 1,000 on her page https://skyncams.com/@buzzedbabynixon. That gets you entered. But it also gets you a signed copy of the March 2017 issue of Penthouse featuring Riley Nixon as the centerfold, and a personalized photo of Riley. The drawing for the winner is on August 1, 2017. The winner has to do an industry standard testing and present two forms of valid US IDs. You have to be over the age of 21, and it is only open to legal residents of the United States, so that was sort of a fuck you to her Canada roots by Riley.

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We think there are easier ways to fuck a porn star, since most are escorts and will come to you. But we won’t tell anyone the best way to spend their hard-earned tokens…



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PORN STAR DAKOTA SKYE CATCHES A DOMSTIC ABUSE CASE

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Former mixed martial arts fighter War Machine just got life for his domestic beat down of porn star Christy Mack and her friend. And while nothing like that, female porn star Dakota Skye recently caught a case of misdemeanor domestic battery charge, for punching her boyfriend after he asked her to get the fuck out after they had sex. According to reports, Lauren Kaye Scott, also known as Dakota Skye, is facing charges of domestic battery, after she “struck [Robert Anderson] with an open right hand” at 4.55am on Saturday. Robert suffered a “swollen lip with a cut”, and a severe case of being a pussy snitch. Dakota is apparently married to Zachary Lecompte-Goble of Los Angeles. The bitch slap happened after Dakotaa “would not get off the phone” after giving her boyfriend the PSE (the porn star experience), so he asked her to leave his home. Dakota then, according to the police report, “became upset” and struck Robert, her boyfriend of six months, in the face. Dakota was booked and released. In a handwritten motion, Dakota asked a judge for permission to go to Los Angeles, where she said she lives with her husband Zachary.

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FARRAH ABRAHAM LOOKING TO FIND LOVE, AND NOT THE “PORN STAR JAMES DEEN IN HER ASS” KIND OF LOVE

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Farrah Abraham, 26, has had an interesting career in her few short years. She’s gone from teen mom to backdoor teen mom, to MILF looking for love. She is joining MTV with Scotty T, Marnie Simpson and Chloe Ferry for a new dating series. It seeks to match up celebrities with fans, in hopes of helping each find love. A source told The Sun Online: “Farrah is a feisty woman and she needs someone who matches her personality. Bosses think they could find some amazing guys for her on the show and she’s excited about taking part.” At some point this soon-to-be train wreck of a live that Farrah’s been living will fully jump the rails. But we just can’t turn away.

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HOT PORN STAR TWEET: BLAIR WILLIAMS’ GOT TIPS

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In only a couple short years after winning the porn reality television show The Sex Factor, porn star Blair Williams has amassed 97 videos, according to IAFD.com. She talked with DazedDigital.com about her rise in porn and her life, before and after. Before she auditioned for the show, Blair worked as a live-in nanny and church pre-school teacher, who only lost her virginity a year ago. After, she still is religious, but isn’t teaching Sunday school. “I still believe in God. Religion doesn’t condemn you; the people who follow it obsessively do. If I went back to my church, I feel like I couldn’t tell people what I do without being taken into a back room for a fucking exorcism. I have a problem with people who like to speak on behalf of God. They place their fear of sexuality onto me. People use religion as a weapon because they’re uncomfortable with themselves.”

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And you might not believe it, because stereotypes might tell you otherwise, but Blair is educated. And after being outed by her stepfather, struggles with the stigma of being labeled a dumb blonde in porn. “What’s hardest for my mom is the stigma around my intelligence or capability as a person because of my job,” she said. “I’m college-educated and had an academic scholarship – how else can I prove that my career was a thought-out decision? There’s this idea that I’m not using my brain the way I’m supposed to, when really, I’m using the tools I have to succeed in a job, just like any other job.” But that all isn’t stopping Blair. She is committed to porn. “My plan is keep shooting porn until it doesn’t make me happy, or it’s no longer physically sustainable, whenever that may be. I see myself retiring early, having enough money to support myself and live comfortably, and just volunteering for the rest of my life. For now, I just want to do work that’s going to break the stigma of my profession – I want to demystify Blair Williams.”

We checked out Blair on Twitter at @blairsbananas. She had some useful life tips.







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COLLEGE STUDENT MAKES PORN STAR MEME FOR COURSE ASSIGNMENT, IT GOES VIRAL

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What do the Dakota Access Pipeline and porn have in common? Not a fucking thing, except that Joshua Robinson Levine, a freshman at St. Edward’s University in Austin, Texas, used them both in a meme for a course assignment. For his rhetoric and composition course, he wrote a 1,700-word essay on the Dakota Access Pipeline, and used a picture of a porn star with a gaping mouth, and subtitle “It’s so fucking big,” to create a meme, “When you show her the cultural and environmental risk posed by the Dakota Access Pipeline.” He showed it to his class as part of his presentation. Someone took a picture and it went viral. “My assignment was to make memes — I simply did as I was told,” Joshua said when asked about his the viral image. Everyone in the class laughed. And his professor has defended Joshua’s presentation. “His presentation dealt with the challenge of determining what counts as ‘success’ when it comes to social-justice protests, how ‘success’ might be measured,” he said. “Needless to say, his opening meme grabbed the class’s attention.” Ours too.

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PORN STAR EVA LOVIA TALKS ANAL, ANAL AND MORE ANAL

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Porn star Eva Lovia has starred in more than 130 movies since her 2013 debut, and she is now for the first time doing a series of anal scenes for Greg Lansky’s Tushy. It is a showcase, with the working title of Eva, including Eva’s first boy/girl anal scene, first double-penetration scene, first girl/girl anal, first interracial anal and first three-way anal. So a lot of anal scenes, just all ass, ass, ass and more ass penetration of every imaginable kind. She talked with AVN about her upcoming anal marathon, and it was actually pretty interesting. “Everything happens for a reason,” Eva said. “During the time I was with Digital Playground they were supposed to do my showcase and it didn’t ever end up happening,” but with Tushy, she addd, “We just did two weeks straight of filming, which is crazy. Nobody does that.” In talking about her anal scenes, and in particular her double penetration (that is, both anal and vaginal at the same time), Eva said, “It’s one of those things you can’t really prep for. You can kind of try it in your personal life with a toy, but it’s such a different animal with two people on camera. I cant even explain it. It took my breath away.” We’ve heard being double stuffed can do that to a girl.

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Eva continued, “At one point Greg was like, ‘Make sure you’re breathing.’ There’s so much going on. There’s an overwhelming amount of sensations. It was really, really cool. I had two really strong performers so I got to experience it. I didn’t have to worry about opening up or positions. The guys took charge. I was just there to experience something pretty awesome. I’m definitely going to remember it for a very long time.” We would think it would be pretty hard to forget. Eva finished, saying, “My heart was racing. It was our first time meeting and we’re doing a DP, so I’m not like, ‘I got this.’ When we got done shooting Greg said it was one of the best first DP scenes he’s ever seen. He said, ‘That was your first DP? I don’t believe you.’ I think for me it was just mental. I kind of psyched myself out thinking this is going to be so hard, but my body was more advanced than my mindset.” And if you’re interested in this all anal masterpiece, plans are to release the Eva trailer in July and then one scene at a time until the DVD release in early September.

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CLAUDIA KEALOHA APPRECIATION

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Before today, we couldn’t have told you who Claudia KeAloha was. She’s a porn star of course, because that’s a good part of what we do all day long. According to FreeOnes.com, she’s 24, but that’s doubtful. But have no problem believing she’s Hawaiian, 5’6″ and a 36DD-26-36. She’s been in porn since 2005, so 12 years (also making that 24-year-old number unreliable, unless you really believe she started at 12). We only recently got turned on to Claudia randomly. We checked out her Twitter, but it was a little too political for our taste. It seems Claudia’s retired and taken up an #ANTI_ZIONIST and #BOYCOTT_ISRAEL philosophy. We don’t judge. People believe what they believe. We were more turned on by some of her past work, cause we were feeling a little retro today. Aloha, indeed.

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