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PORN STAR MARCH MADNESS SELECTION SUNDAY ONLY TWO DAYS AWAY

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We begin another season of #PornStarMadness. It is our third year in a row (others may imitate, but we are the original). Kendra Sunderland dominated the field in 2015. Brandi Love still gets retweets from her huge win in 2016. And it is a sure bet that both powerhouses will be returning this year, when we announce our bracket seeding on Selection Sunday in a couple days. But this year we’ve seen a lot of shake ups in the porn world, and getting to our final 64 porn stars will be difficult. Some huge favorites have retired in the last year, like Mia Khalifa. The newcomers are a damn fine and outstanding group. Every year we take some heat for our selections, and yes, opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one, and we have ours. We try to minimize the arbitrariness, and we’ll explain the selection process (again) on Sunday with the final brackets. For now, it is all about the pre-selection hype. About the Number 1 seeds this year. Who is in? Who is out? What will this year’s matchups look like? Every active porn star is in the running as of today. So if you want to keep your favorite in, shout them out. We’re still looking at the rankings, the statistics, the social media pages, so let us know. #PornStarMadness has officially begun.

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PORNB2017

CBrandiLove

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PORNSTARS DESCRIBE THEIR VAGINA

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Why you would ever need to ask a porn star to describe her vagina is beyond us. We’ve all seen them many, many, many times before. We know what each and every one of them looks like. But WoodRocket.com asked porn stars Brooklyn Chase, Alison Rey, Mocha Menage, Rizzo Ford, Jamine Webb, Aubrey Sinclair, Cassandra Cain, Lily Lane, Leya Falcon, Piper Perri, Amarna Miller, Charlotte Sartre, Abella Danger, Bobbi Dylan, Bella Doll, Jessie Lynne, Georgia Jones, Riley Reid, Harmony Cage, Cherie DeVille, and Riley Reyes to describe their vagina. The answers were actually kind of interesting. Brooklyn Chase said, “My vagina looks like Homer Simpson’s mouth.” Piper Perri described her pussy as “Turkey sandwich, all bun, hold the mayo.” And then words like “wet,” “tight” and “small” were thrown around a lot, like a lot. The best answer came from Riley Reyes, who said, “My vagina, like, like most vaginas, is framed by outer labia, and then there’s innie, inner labia, there kinda like this little pink ruffle dealie, and at the top there’s my clit, and ahh, then inside, I guess that’s the vulva, inside is the vagina, which is an awesome, wet, pink place where I like to put as many dicks as I can.” Riley Reyes, ladies and gentlemen.

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PORN STAR CARMEN VALENTINA PROMISED THE ATLANTA FALCONS BLOWJOBS AND SEX TO LOSE, AND LOOKS LIKE IT WORKED

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Porn stars Carmen Valentina and Lauren Phillips promised all of their Twitter followers a blowjob if the Patriots won the SuperBowl. #TeamBJ. And when that was looking like it wasn’t going to happen, Carmen came to the rescue. She said on Twitter, “I will fuck every member of the #falcons if they decide to throw the game. My #patriots fans deserve BJs #teamBJ #SuperBowl” and “Dear #Falcons if you decide to lose #SuperBowl I will gladly suck your dick and put you first in line. Lets go #Patriots.” And then all of a sudden, it was like the Falcons had given up and were letting the Patriots score. We can only speculate cause they wanted to score too. Maybe. Maybe it’s just a conspiracy theory. Either way, Carmen and Lauren Twitter fans are guaranteed blowjobs if they want them. #TeamBJ promised to release details on Wednesday.

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sCARM1

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PORN STARS CARMEN VALENTINA AND LARUEN PHILLIPS IN FOR A SERIOS CASE OF LOCK JAW, PROMISING BLOWJOBS TO FOLLOWERS IF PATRIOTS WIN SUPERBOWL

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According to the Las Vegas betting houses, the Atlantic Falcons are going to win the Super Bowl when they face the New England Patriots this Sunday. But that is far from certain. Porn stars Carmen Valentina and Lauren Phillips, however, are providing an incentive for Patriots fans to cheer for their team. As has become a sort of porn tradition, both porn stars have signed up for #TeamBJ, offering blowjobs to all of their followers on Twitter if the Patriots win. This is the 5th installment of #TeamBJ. About this recent iteration, Carmen Valentina said, “This is my first ever #TeamBJ so I have no idea what to expect. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I will be on the edge of my seat the entire game. I’d love to give Bill Belichick a BJ if the Patriots win … he hardly ever smiles.” Lauren Phillips added, “I asked Carmen if she wanted to give #TeamBJ a shot for the Superbowl. I really do have a fantasy of random twitter followers showing up to collect BJs. I honestly hope that Brady and the Patriots kick some ass this weekend. I’d love to inflate a lot of balls ….” To qualify, you must follow both Carmen and Lauren on Twitter (@LaurenFillsUp and @ClubCarmenXXX), the Patriots must win, and then they will post details on the blowjob train on TeamBJ.com, three days after that. Easy enough. So if you are in need of a blowjob, from a porn star, and you think the Patriots may beat the odds, then what have you got to lose? #TeamBJ has twice delivered.

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sCAR3 sCAR4



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IN 2016, THE WORLD WATCHED 524,641 YEARS OF PORN ON PORNHUB, MOSTLY OF PORN STAR LISA ANN

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The world watched a lot of porn on Pornhub.com in 2016. The numbers are staggering. Take this one, for example, the world watched 524,641 years of porn. People viewed 91,980,225,000 porn vides on Pornhub. That is 12.5 videos for every man, woman and child on the planet. Now clearly some people were watching more than their fair share. But it is now undeniable that the world is addicted to porn. The most viewed categories were of course the usual suspects: Lesbian, Teen, Ebony, MILF, Anal, Big Dick, Hentai, Big Tits, Threesome, Mature, Babe, Female Friendly, Japanese, Amateur, Ass, Squirt, Shemale, Babysitter, Creampie, and Cartoon. And even though she is retired, Lisa Ann is still the reigning porn queen, as the most searched porn actress in the world. She is followed by Mia Khalifa (also retired last year), Kim Kardashian, Riley Reid, Sunny Leone, Brandi Love, Asa Akira, Madison Ivy, Alexis Texas, Dillion Harper, Mia Malkova, August Ames, Nicole Aniston, Sasha Grey, Sara Jay, Dani Daniels, Christy Mack, Piper Perri, Ava Addams and Rachel Starr. But 2017 is a new year. Though it seems clear that we will waste over a half million years of life just watching porn. If that effort was put to something just a little more useful, we might already be living on Jupiter.

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sporse1 sporse2

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LOULOU D’VIL AND KAYDEN KROSS BOTH STRIPTEASE FOR STRIPLVTV

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StripLVTV has produced a lot of nude videos of adult performers. We haven’t been on Vimeo in a while, so we decided to check back in and get an update on the latest video sets, which are mostly amateur production and models. But we found adult veteran performers LouLou D’Vil and Kayden Kross doing stripteases for StripLVTV. It is a bit a of contrast, from fetish to pinup. But enjoyed it…

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PORN STARS ANGELINA CASTRO AND MAGGIE GREEN NOW OFFERING CONSOLATION BLOWJOBS TO EASE THE PAIN OF THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION RESULTS

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Porn stars Angelina Castro and Maggie Green promised to give all their Twitter followers blowjobs if Hillary Clinton won the election. Hillary failed. So sadly no mass blowjobs (affectionately known as a “blowbang”) are going out from #TeamBJ this year. But the porn stars would not be denied their opportunity to blow some random fans. Now as a consolation, they are offering blowjobs, but only two, one to a Trump voter and one to an anyone-but-Trump voter (meaning you could have thrown away your vote on Gary Johnson or Jill Stein, or some other nobody candidate or write-in and still get a blowjob). To qualify, fans must follow both Angelina Castro and Maggie Green on Twitter, must have voted and must tweet the girls telling why they should be selected for a blowjob. The girls will reveal the lucky blowjobees on TeamBJ.com.

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Reacting to the election, Angelina said, “I was really shocked when Trump won the election. Maggie and I absolutely planned on giving all our followers BJs if he lost. The country is completely divided. What better way to bring everyone together than with a BJ to both sides. I think we can bring even the most ardent Trump and Clinton supporters together with a BJ. I guarantee they won’t leave angry.” She added, however, “I am a citizen but Trump still might deport me when he gets in office for being too Cuban…. Hopefully he doesn’t revoke my papers by executive order!” Maggie said, “I was on the edge of my seat election night and was super bummed when Trump won. Our followers were incredibly disappointed. We still want to put a smile on the voters’ faces. There’s so much division in the country it would be nice to see people who don’t see eye to eye… get off together.” Angelina and Maggie explained further in this video:



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JENNY JIZZ IS GIVING FREE BLOWJOBS TO VETERANS TODAY AND AIN’T THAT PATRIOTIC

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#TeamBJ isn’t giving out blowjobs, because Hillary Clinton did not win the election (a condition of the blowjob giveaway this time). But another Florida porn star is giving away free blowjobs, but only for veterans, to “honor” their service, by servicing them. Jenny Jizz blew veterans last year, and she is back on her knees again for our nation. Jenny describes herself on her website by saying, “I’m Jenny, a true cumslut! I love to have multiple cocks around me & inside me, & I love to be covered in cum! I’m always looking for someone new to shoot their load on me! Who’s next?” Veterans it seems. Jenny will be at The Sausage Castle, joined by Naughty Alysha, taking loads of veteran jizz. The owner of The Sausage Castle, Mike Busey, said last year about the event, “You can pat them on the back and say thank you for your service and stuff, or you can get them drunk and give them a blow job. They just want to forget about the shit they had to do over there.” We all just want to forge. God Bless America!

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sjenn1

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FUNNIEST PORN MOVIE TITLES, “THE RAPPER DESTROYED MY CRAPPER” IN THE LEAD

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Porn stars Marley Brinx, Anna Bell Peaks, Amber Ivy, Maxine X, Harley Jade, Lauren Phillips, Aiden Starr, Cadence Lux, Dick Chibbles, Dava Foxx, Lily Lane, Kasey Warner, Trillium, Stevie Foxx, Dixie Comet, Aaron Wilcoxxx, Anikka Albrite, Leya Falcon, Missy Martinez, Kenzie Taylor, Yhivi, and Amarna Miller shared the funniest porn movie titles. In our minds it comes down to “Game of Bones” and “The Rapper Destroyed My Crapper.”

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PORN STARS NIKKI BENZ AND BRITNEY AMBER LEARN MMA MOVES

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We question why anyone would want to see porn stars doing things other than porn, but it’s a thing for some people. Enough that porn production company Brazzers has a safe for work affiliate website, Trendzz.com. They recently did a video with porn stars Nikki Benz and Britney Amber, who team up for MMA 101 courses from Lorenz Larkin (a.k.a Da Monsoon). First lesson is how to strike. So if you want to watch Nikki and Britney not take off their clothes, then maybe this is your thing too.

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JUDGMENT DAY FOR MARIO ANTOINE, FAKE PORN PRODUCER

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Mario Ambrose Antoine, 33, will likely be seen producing his personal porn videos from prison, with titles like “Mario Gangbanged in the Shower” and “Mario Blowbang for Breakfast.” But you likely won’t shed any tears over Mario. He was recently charged in federal court with a 21-count indictment, including 12 counts of wire fraud, two counts of cyberstalking, two counts of online enticement, two counts of making false statements to federal law enforcement agents, one count of obstructing justice, one count of extortion and one count of falsely registering a domain name. He pretended to be a porn producer and forced women to have sex with him as part of an “audition.” While this is the theme of a popular porn series, Mario didn’t figure out it was all scripted and the models were acting. Instead, Mario took the theme of the porn videos to heart. He is charged with having created several online pseudonyms and fake Facebook profiles, posing as a talent agent and videographer, starting in August 2011. For example, on his Facebook pages, Antoine allegedly claimed that he owned porn companies such as “Playboy Worldwide,” “Playboy Asia” and “Dash Agency.” He promised auditions to women in the Kansas City area for modeling positions and to rehearse for parts in his porn movies, according to court papers filed in the United States District Court for the District of Kansas, in Kansas City. But Mario required the women to have sex with him first to see if they could pass muster. Then he allegedly recorded sex with the victims, offering them tens of thousands of dollars. But he had no intention of ever paying them, according to federal prosecutors. In several instances, he allegedly later threatened his victims with the tapes, either threatening to send them to their employers or seeking money or more sex from them. We don’t think we’ll be seeing Mario anytime soon, he is still in federal custody, pending a detention hearing Thursday.

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THE UNCENSORED VERSION OF PORNHUB’S LUBSLIDE

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Yesterday, we brought you the YouTube friendly version of Pornhub’s Lubeslide video. Today, we have the uncensored version from Pornhub directly. It is full of naked porn stars soaking in Pornhub lube. You can’t get much of a better endorsement than that.

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PORN STARS REVEAL WEIRDEST PORN SCENES, AND YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW

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Let us start by saying, porn star Kasey Warner early in this video respond to the question about her weirdest porn scene by staying, “The one where I put sticks of butter up Jynz Maze’s asshole. That one. And gummy bears and stuff, and some of em’ got stuck but we got em’ out. We got em’ out.” So, yeah, you’ve been warned. Wood Rocket asked porn stars Nickey Huntsman, Amber Ivy, Riley Reid, Sheridan Love, Kagney Linn Karter, and more, “What Was Your Weirdest Porn Scene?” It wasn’t pretty.

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PORN STARS ARE HOT TO PEG DONALD TRUMP IN OUR #ASKINGPORNSTARS PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE SEX SCENE QUESTION

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If he loses the election, Donald Trump may have a career in porn. But his ass is likely to be very sore if he went that route. Pegging “The Donald” seemed to be an all too frequent response when we asked porn stars Kissa Sins, Julia Ann, Bella Rose, Uma Jolie, Abella Danger, Cali Carter, Adriana Chechik, Tasha Reign, Alexis Fawx, Adria Rae, Jillian Janson, Anikka Albrite, Sara Jay and Carmen Valentina, “Which presidential candidate would you prefer to do a sex scene with: Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton (and what kind of scene)?” We’ve been #askingpornstars on Twitter for the last few years, but we decided we should step up and regain that crown on video. Here’s what we got when we sat down with porn stars at Exxxotica Chicago.

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ADULT EMPIRE’S EMPIRE GIRL VOTING STARTS TODAY

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It is round one of Adult Empire’s second annual Empire Girl contest among the leading porn stars in the business. According to Adult Empire, it “is launching its second annual vote to crown the Empire Girl, a star who represents all the pleasure-packed perfection synonymous with Adult Empire. The overall winner receives a four-scene AE Films showcase feature with a minimum payout of $6,000! Vote to see your favorite star appear in a movie from the studio that brought you Fucked Ra, Untamed, MILF Dreams and last year’s winner showcase, Dirty Daniels.” “Adult fans give us valuable insight into which stars they are interested in and who has a consistent fan base, which is often different from what we might see on social media,” Adult Empire director of marketing Megan Wozniak told AVN. Round two voting begins July 25, narrowing down to 25 performers, with Round three beginning August 1, to narrow the field to the top 10, with the final Empire Girl to be announced August 8. It is an exceptional field…

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DO PORN STARS LOVE FACIALS?

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Male porn stars love facials. But female porn stars have a little bit more nuanced perspective — some like it outright, and some don’t, but most seem to like if they like the guy and want his cum, but not if they don’t…or don’t want to mess up their make up for the next scene. And, of course, no porn star likes a facial in their eyes, cause it burns. It burns! So you could resolve this burning question, if it was ever on your mind, WoodRocket asked porn stars April O’Neil, Cadence Lux, Amber Ivy, Trillium, Aiden Starr, Katie Morgan, Cindy Starfall, Nickey Huntsman, Maxine X, Harley Jade, Marley Brinx, Kasey Warner, Michael Vegas, Tommy Pistol, August Ames, Nikki Next, Dixie Comet, Kenzie Taylor, Daisy Monroe, Kassondra Raine, Ryan Mclane, Sophia Grace, Stevie Foxx, Leya Falcon, Jenna J. Ross, and Lauren Phillips, “Do You Actually Like Facials?” and here was their responses. And you just might learn somethin’.

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