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PORN STAR KIM HOLLAND FILMS PORN IN CHURCH, ENTIRE CHURCH DECLARED “UNHOLY”

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Dutch porn star Kim Holland, who reportedly “promoted” a porn film shot in a church in Tilburg, Netherlands, is facing a huge Christian backlash. The church has since been declared “unholy” and was closed for several days through Sunday, until a special cleansing service where the building was sprinkled with holy water (for the sins committed or just to get the stank smell of dried porn pussy juice out of the air). Kim said producer Peter Visser was an atheist who “saw the church as a very ordinary place” and “completely underestimated the reaction from commenters,” according to Christian news website Church Militant. But she added, “He knows he should not have done it. We regret it very much.” What he did was film a couple having hardcore sex in the confessional corner of St Joseph’s. As a result of the public outcry, Kim has agreed not to release the footage. It is still not clear if the church will take any legal action against Kim and the producer however. Father Jan van Noorwegen, pastor of St. Joseph’s, was shocked when he heard of the film. He said, “I do not know how they got in; the gate is only open a few hours a day. But then there are always people in the church. No one saw anything.” A spokesman for the parish added, “We live in modern times but this went too far.” Kim is officially retired, so it is not clear if she did any performing in the film. But back in the day…

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IRAN BLOCKED PORN ACCESS AS FAR AWAY AS RUSSIA AND HONG KONG

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It’s a small world after all, especially on the Internet. Iran recently stepped up its censorship of porn. Iran’s national telecom used Border Gateway Protocol (BGP) to fake routes for 256 adult websites, in order to block access. It exposed a major problem with the Internet, and how one countries’ policies can have unintended consequence for others who love their porn. It can be a little complicated, but the most basic explanation is that internet service providers look for the shortest pathway to website IP address. When Iran created fake BGP pathways to block certain websites, some service providers mistook them as real, and so users were directed to blank pages for those websites. A surprisingly large number of countries were close enough to seek out the fake Iran pathways, creating a much broader white out for a number of adult websites. While clearly Middle Eastern countries were affected, Iran’s censorship also reached India’s Bharti Airtel, Russia’s RETN, Indonesia’s Telekomunikasi and Hong Kong’s Hutchison, which are all significant ISPs in their respective regions. Slowly the service providers realized the mistake, and within 28 hours, things began to return to normal. But it shows how vulnerable the Internet can be, and how just like that, we could lose porn. So you should enjoy the time you have for the time you have it. Because porn may not always be around. Stock up on external hard drives with terabytes of space and start hoarding.

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FORMER PORN STAR MIA KHALIA TRIED TO FUCK WITH THE SIXERS, GOT FUCKED HARD IN RESPONSE

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Former porn star Mia Khalifa has trolled some of the best college athletes and made them look like fools for attempting to creep into her DMs. But when she went out to troll Philadelphia Sixers center Joel Embiid, it backfired on Mia hard, cause Joel rode Mia’s ass hard with the perfect response. Mia posted a picture on her Instagram page of Joel and fellow Sixers, saying “Room full of L’s.” Joel didn’t take the slight too kindly, and responded, “Says the woman with miles of D.” Mia promptly replied on Twitter, “Lesson learned: don’t mess with the Sixers.” We doubt Mia has learned her lesson, but she just isn’t ready for the pros. In case you were wondering, there are 63,360 inches in a mile. Now assuming that the average porn star penis is 9″ long, Mia would have had to have teen 7,049 dicks to get to a mile, so miles may be a bit over the top, but point well taken, Joel.

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IN 2016, THE WORLD WATCHED 524,641 YEARS OF PORN ON PORNHUB, MOSTLY OF PORN STAR LISA ANN

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The world watched a lot of porn on Pornhub.com in 2016. The numbers are staggering. Take this one, for example, the world watched 524,641 years of porn. People viewed 91,980,225,000 porn vides on Pornhub. That is 12.5 videos for every man, woman and child on the planet. Now clearly some people were watching more than their fair share. But it is now undeniable that the world is addicted to porn. The most viewed categories were of course the usual suspects: Lesbian, Teen, Ebony, MILF, Anal, Big Dick, Hentai, Big Tits, Threesome, Mature, Babe, Female Friendly, Japanese, Amateur, Ass, Squirt, Shemale, Babysitter, Creampie, and Cartoon. And even though she is retired, Lisa Ann is still the reigning porn queen, as the most searched porn actress in the world. She is followed by Mia Khalifa (also retired last year), Kim Kardashian, Riley Reid, Sunny Leone, Brandi Love, Asa Akira, Madison Ivy, Alexis Texas, Dillion Harper, Mia Malkova, August Ames, Nicole Aniston, Sasha Grey, Sara Jay, Dani Daniels, Christy Mack, Piper Perri, Ava Addams and Rachel Starr. But 2017 is a new year. Though it seems clear that we will waste over a half million years of life just watching porn. If that effort was put to something just a little more useful, we might already be living on Jupiter.

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UTAH MAY BE SET TO STEP UP ITS WAR ON PORNOGRAPHY

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Utah state senator Todd Weiler (R-Woods Cross) is stepping up the charge against porn, after leading the Utah resolution declaring porn a public health crisis. Todd is tough on porn. Now he wants people to be able to sue porn producers for the claimed negative affects of porn. “Right now porn is available without any warnings and labeling, without any protections online,” he said. “This would just open the valve for a cause of action. Let these attorneys go after these cases.” Todd is a realist. If his proposal passed, he expects courts to initially reject claims that pornography causes real harm. “But I think, eventually, the tide will turn,” he said. Now, Todd is full of shit. But crazier shit has happened. So we’re watching Utah Todd closely.

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WILL VIRGINIA JOIN UTAH’S WAR AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY?

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Virginia lawmakers will consider whether to join Utah and its war on porn, with a proposal by state representative Bob Marshall (R-Prince William) to declare porn an “epidemic.” Bob feels he’s a crusader, much like the early efforts to raise awareness of the harms associated with smoking. He compares his resolution to the 1964 declaration by the US surgeon general reporting the links between cigarettes and disease. “Before smoking was identified as a problem, at least the recognition that it led to certain pathologies was a starting point to put restrictions on it,” Bob said, according to the Washington Post. “If you recognize it as a problem, then you’re going to try to find ways to solve it within the framework of the statutes we can pass and the institutions we have.” This new resolution, House Joint Resolution 549 (HJ549), doesn’t ban or restrict porn, but only seeks “education, prevention, research, and policy change at the community and societal level in order to address the pornography epidemic that is harming the people of the Commonwealth and the nation.” Bob points to pornography as the cause of several social problems, including “hypersexualization of teenagers,” “low self-esteem and body image disorders,” and “a detrimental effect on the family unit.” His bill claims that the addictive nature of pornography is linked to “lessening desire in young men to marry, dissatisfaction in marriage and infidelity.” “When you see more of these episodes of teens texting pictures to each other, there’s obviously an obsession or fixation on the body as an object, not a person,” Bob said in a recent interview with GayRVA. “It’s not very helpful for social relations or later development of a family. I thought, let’s draw a line in the sand.” It is not clear how much support Bob’s crusade has with other Virginia legislatures. So we will have to wait to see if Virginia joins Utah is declaring porn a “public health crisis.”

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THE PRESIDENT OF BOLIVIA CAUGHT WATCHING PORN ON HIS PHONE IN PUBLIC MEETING

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The president of Bolivia, Evo Morales, 57, loves porn. We all now know this because the leader of Bolivia (since 2006) was in a session with lawyers from the International court of Justice. As he was sitting at the table, his mobile device started playing sounds of a woman moaning with pleasure. It was clearly porn. He then fumbled with the phone before it fell to the floor, causing him to jump out of his seat to get it from the floor, all while the woman on his phone continued to moan. People in the room laughed it off. The world now knows that Evo is a certified pervert (aren’t we all though?). But in his defense, he is single. He has three children with three different mothers. And with the pressures of being the president of a little known South American nation, who wouldn’t need a little porn to get you through the day?

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SOUTH CAROLINA CONSIDERING LEGISLATION TO TAKE AWAY OR TAX YOUR PORN ACCESS

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Before online pornography, there was no crime, no violence, no rape, no abuse, the world had achieved world peace, love and harmony. At least that is what the anti-porn lobby would have you believe, and that porn is now the cause of all evils — that never existed before online porn. The South Carolina legislature is considering legislation to block porn, labelling it a public health crisis. The proposed new law would require all new computers, smart phones, and other devices that access the Internet to include a default built-in filter to block pornography. To gain access, users would have to submit an ID and pay a $20 fee, basically a porn tax (of course in the name of saving the children). “If we could have manufacturers install filters that would be shipped to South Carolina, then anything that children have access on for pornography would be blocked,” said Rep. Bill Chumley, who introduced the Human Trafficking Prevention Act with Rep. Mike Burns earlier this month. “We felt like that would be another way to fight human trafficking,” said Bill. The fee would go to the Human Trafficking Task Force and the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. And that’s good. But the bill also includes a provision that prohibits devices from being able to access “any hub that facilitates prostitution” or “any trafficking of persons.” That is clearly a problem, because even the Yellow Pages lists escort services. Bill didn’t exactly think that one through, and we doubt it’s because he’s never been to a prostitute in his life. Pornography is “where almost everybody has access to a computer now,” Bill said. “It’s porn on demand. We have to start somewhere. We’re bringing attention to it. We’re not being political.” No, not political at all.

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THANK FIDEL CASTRO DYING FOR AN INCREASE IN CUBAN PORN SEARCHES

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Former Cuban president or dictator (depending on your political view) Fidel Castro died on November 25, 2016 at the age of 90. He ruled over Cuba for 47 years. It made international news. And whenever there is an increase in news coverage there is an increase in porn searches. As you might expect, there was a significant increase in Cuban porn searches on Pornhub.com. Searches for “Cuba” or “Cuban” doubled in the wake of news coverage. The most popular Cuban related searches were “cuban maid” followed by “Cuban”, “Cubana” and “big booty Cuban”. “big ass cuban” and “cuban ass” were also top among searches. That certainly helped Cuban porn stars, like Angelina Castro, Luna Star and Diamond Kitty. We found 47 Cuban porn stars on Freeones.com. Our favorite no doubt is Luna. Viva Luna Star!

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BRAZZERS’ EXPOSES AMERICA’S MOST BIZARRE PORN SEARCH TERMS IN 2016

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Watch out for those girls from Vermont. Kinky people in Vermont are searching for “Piss Drinker” porn, and is the only state in America that gets freaky searching for porn like that on Brazzers.com, according to its recently released infographic addressing the Most Bizarre Searches on Brazzers in 2016. But they aren’t the only ones, Texans are into “piss” too, along with “Hot Dog,” “Mom and Son” and “Alien” porn. Weird. Florida got even more fucked up, cause Florida. They were searching for “shit” porn, and “Shit on Dick” porn, which we aren’t sure whether that’s because they are into anal or brown showers. Either way, there are clearly some sick puppies in Florida. Virginia, staying true to Southern form, was into “Sister” porn (but Illinois liked it too). North Carolina just went “Hairy.” California kept it cool, always a trend setting state with “Feet” and “Milking.” So what kind of kink are you into? And please don’t say “Shit” porn, even if you’re from Florida.

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XHAMSTER HACKED

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After AdultFriendFinder.com was hacked earlier this year, we thought the worst was over. But now there is news that xHamster.com has been hacked and hackers have allegedly exposed the details of 380,000 users (though that is only 3% of the registered users). Hackers leaked a database that reportedly contain hundreds of thousands of usernames and email address. Motherboard.com analyzed the list and found “40 email addresses belonging to the US Army, and 30 related to various US, UK, and other countries’ government bodies.” This news means that hundreds of thousands of porn users may potentially be subject to having their personal information and viewing habits revealed. xHamster, however, is denying that any users’ private information is vulnerable. “We cannot validate that the emails are real and we don’t believe that this is a genuine database,” a spokesman said. “The passwords of all xHamster users are properly encrypted, so it is almost impossible to hack them. Thus, all the passwords are safe and the users data secured. The integrity of our user data is secure. Passwords are encrypted and impossible to hack.” But Motherboard questioned these claims. Either way, you might just want to check your xHamster account.

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DOCTOR ATTEMPTS TO LINK MASTURBATION TO IMPOTENCE LIKE YOUR MOM LINKED IT TO BLINDNESS

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Any indictment of porn gets news these days, no matter how unsupported by actual research or evidence. The most recent indictment sounds similar what what mothers used to (and some still do) tell their sons, “if you masturbate too much you’ll go blind.” Dr. Andrew Smiler is now saying too much masturbation (and porn) leads to sexual impotence. “The guys I see, most of them are between 13 and 25. The vast majority are, for the most part, the picture of physical health.” But he warned about the dangers of porn among young men, saying, “So if I’m masturbating to porn once a day for 15 minutes but I do that every day for five years, I’m pretty well on my way to being an expert to having an orgasm to porn. If I’m 17 and that is 90% of my sexual orgasmic experience, then I’ve put a lot of effort into that particular variety/flavour of sexual development but I’ve put in very little time developing my sexuality with another person, so it makes it more challenging to become aroused to another person and you find yourself in this other direction which is often very different to sex with a person.” According to the Independent, Dr. Angela Gregory, psychosexual therapist at Nottingham University Hospital, also said, “Men are becoming both physically and psychologically desensitised to normal sexual stimulation and arousal with a sexual partner.” Well, at least we know you won’t go blind.

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CHINESE AMATEUR PORN STAR SHERRY GUN GETS FOUR YEARS PRISON FOR ORGY VIDEO

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China is serious about porn. Like put you in jail serious. Aspiring porn star Sherry Gun, 21, was arrested, charged with spreading obscene content, and sent to prison for four years (along with three others), after her video “Foursome in Chengdu” went viral. After the video posted in March of last year, the search term “foursome in Chengdu” quickly became a top search term on various search engines in China. The video was also widely shared on Chinese social media platforms, like WeChat and QQ. Chinese media reported that Sherry was desperate for fame and fortune and wanted to attract more people to her online streaming business. Sherry worked as an online host, who live-streamed her daily life through social media websites and mobile apps to some 40,000 fans. She also produced 31 videos, and reportedly had earned 75,000 yuan ($14,000). “Foursome in Chengdu” quickly caught the attention of authorities at the Mianzhu Public Security Bureau, and they set up a team to investigate the case, easily finding Sherry. In addition to her four year prison sentence, Sherry was fined 100,000 yuan ($14,521), and her computer and mobile phone were confiscated.

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According to the Chinese Criminal Law, anyone who “produces, duplicates, publishes, sells or disseminates pornographic materials” shall be sentences to fixed-term imprisonment of no more than three years. In “serious” cases, which apparently Sherry’s was, a person could be sentenced to no more than 10 years in prison.

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TRUMP FAMILY PORN SEARCHES SURGED ON PORNHUB, WITH TIFFANY TRUMP LEADING MELANIA AND IVANKA

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The day after the election, the world got thirsty for Trump family porn, with Tiffany Trump dramatically leading the pack in terms of search increases. According to Pornhub, “As the day progressed, searches for ‘Donald Trump’ increased +874% on Pornhub. Searches for other members of the soon-to-be “first family” skyrocketed as well. Current wife “Melania Trump” was searched +1538% more, daughters ‘Ivanka Trump’ +1169% and ‘Tiffany Trump’ +2548% more than their average levels. Together, they accounted for nearly 250,000 Pornhub searches on November 9th, and have remained higher than normal in the days that have followed.” While things returned to normal for other members of the Trump family in terms of porn searches, as of November 15, searches for Tiffany remain strong. “Tiffany is now a trending search on Pornhub, up +9128% based on her previous averages,” Pornhub said as of November 15, 2016. Donald is still the porn patriarch of his family, as his porn searches remain much higher than Tiffany, based on “raw search volume, mostly due to the large number of porn parodies produced in his honor.” This is the bold new, great American Trump has ushered in.

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PUBLIC HUMILIATION PORN FILMED IN MADRID, SPANISH OFFICIALS NOW ON THE LOOKOUT

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Kink.com appears to have been filming public humiliation porn on the open streets of Madrid, Spain during the middle of the day. Reports from Spain’s El Mundo new papers are (roughly translated by Google) that, “at the end of last October when two women, one of them half-naked and without underwear, walked around downtown sites like the Glorieta de Atocha and Plaza de Callao. They were accompanied by a television camera that recorded them at all times. The images have been broadcast days later on a porn web page.” The newspaper published one picture of a woman gagged and bound, with her breasts out, being lead by another woman (with Kink.com logo at the bottom of the picture). Literally hundreds of people can be seen in the background of the films, some taking out cell phones to record the porn, a limited few others reacting in disgust. In Madrid, filming permits are not required unless the filming involved the use of cameras on tripods, which allowed whomever was filming to feature their humiliation porn out in the open. But officials were quick to add that the humiliation porn filming could be considered “a crime of exhibitionism” under the Citizen Security Law, carrying of between €100 ($106)- €600 ($640) for public displays of nudity. Madrid officials are now asking citizens to report activity as soon as they see it. But we think most will be too busy recording to make a call to police.

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PORN STAR TORI BLACK’S REDDIT AMA RECAP

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Porn Star Tori Black, 28, did a Reddit AMA yesterday, answering questions from her fans on topics ranging from how she started in porn to whether she actually likes anal sex, and some anal sex tips. It was interesting to say the least. Tori opened her AMA by saying, “Hi! I’m Tori Black and if you surf the web you may have heard of me! ;-) I’m a little nervous but excited too. I love talking to my fans. After the AMA I’ll continue answering questions on Camsoda.com live on cam.” You can read the full AMA here . Here are a few choice excerpts:

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Hi Tori, Thanks for doing an AMA. I’ll start with a very common question I guess: When and why did you choose to work in the adult industry? – BahaamNut: “i was very young. ive always been sexual and comfortable with my body and my skin and i guess it was something i fell into. something that i really wasnt expecting. it was a challenge to turn it into something i wanted intentionally but i think ive finally gotten there ;)”

Hey Tori, what are your relationships like with other male/female pornstars? – N3pp: “i keep to myself mostly, just use them for sex hahaha. no were all pretty close even if we dont hang out much”

What is your favourite act to perform on a person? – Spxrkie: “cowgirl bitch betta werk”
stor1 Do you truly enjoy anal or only fake it on scene? – Javi_in_1080p: “i love the shit out of it.. ahahhahahahaha pun intended. i actually have a magic asshole its always clean and yes i love it”

Hi Tori, thanks for the AMA, any tips for a beginner on anal? How can I make it as enjoyable as possible for my lady? Thanks! – spicyhippos: “coconut oil”

Hi Tori, what is the best thing about working in porn that maybe most people don’t consider? – concernedsponge: “i get to explore myself sexually and encourage others to do so in a safe environment. oh and the harder i cum the more money i make. thats pretty cool”

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen happen while on set? – INTHEMIDSTOFLIONS: “a guy accidentally catch his own money shot in the mouth.”

What would you never ever ever do at work? – RL-Limpan: “i dont like degrading anyone, myself or others. im not into racial slurs and i dont like encouraging some of the darker fantasies. while they may be fun i feel like they lead down a darker path”

Hi Tori, I seriously love you, so hot!! Do you prefer to spit or swallow? Or something else? – Bomky: “i only swallow if it tastes good so drink water and eat some damn fruits and veggies”

Hi Tori :) This might be too personal of a question, but how has your work in porn affected your interest in sex outside of work? – tayloralma: “im a freak. my sex drive is sky high on and off camera.”

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