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SIMONE REED, ALL TITS, NO BALANCE

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Simone Reed is a British model and reality television fail, appearing on Big Brother and not amounting to much. Fame is fleeting. The loss of it causes people to do strange things to get it back, especially, it seems in the U.K., where the standard publicity routine is the drunken after club walk, most of the times followed by a fall. That was Simone’s recent attempt. She was wearing a see through dress, top and panties, and took a serious digger into the pavement, pussy flopping around as she tried to regain her balance. It was a shit show. But it was entertainment.

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ELLA ROSE OUT TRYING TO MAKE SCOTT DISICK JEALOUS

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British model Ella Ross, 21, left Mahiki nightclub in London braless in a sheer black top. Ella is the most recent of Scott Disick’s dick warmers after leaving Kourtney Kardashian. Ella thought she has firmly planted her dick warmer on top of Scott only to find him out with Bella Thorne, after cancelling plans with her the same night. Pussy is fungible, a lesson Ella didn’t learn until that moment. And there are plenty of dick warmers waiting to sit atop Scott Disick for the chance to go Instafamous and endorse fitness tea. But Ella got what she needed. She is now on the celebrity circuit, and showing her tits shows she knows how to stay there. She got what she needed.

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TARA REID HUGE TITS, NOT MUCH ELSE

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Tara Reid, 41, turned heads while at Los Angeles’ Art With a Cause event on Thursday, but not for the normal reasons, normal reasons being her horribly skeletal body that looks more heroin than sheik. This time, Tara put attention squarely on her huge tits, in a mini Showpo dress made of chainmail, without a bra, though covered up with tan pasties and matching nude underwear. It certainly helped everyone stop talking about her body for moment. Tara of course has been getting the message. She talked about body shaming recently, saying in an interview, “Bullying is such a big deal these days and it’s something I very much personalized with. In my life, I’ve had a lot of bullying and I know what that feels like and how much it hurt.” She continued, “What people don’t realize is that there’s so much kinds of bullying: Social media bullying, cyber bullying, physical bullying, mental bullying, there’s different kinds and today it’s so bad that people are committing suicide and overdosing.” At least this time around, it is abso-titty positive.

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KIM KARDASHIAN STILL REIGNS

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Kim Kardashian, 36, put out a sex tape when few had them. She has consistently exposed her tits and ass during a time when few were willing. But that environment has changed. Every celebrity and wannabe celebrity is going topless, nude or in some way exposing themselves for publicity. But through it all, Kim Kardashian somehow remains on top. She was recently in Beverly Hills in a see through top exposing her breasts and nipples, in only the way Kim can. And then there was the ass too…

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BELLA HADID WHITE TEE AND NIPPLES

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Fashion model Bella Hadid, 20, proves that a t-shirt doesn’t have to be wet to be sexy. She has been walking the streets of New York with looks that have captured headlines. This time around she was walking in her white tee, nipples protruding and still making headlines.

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IGGY AZALEA SHOWS GQ HER NIPPLES

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Australian rapper Iggy Azalea, 27, is not that attractive in our book. She is only a step removed from transexual. Her ass helps, but not that much. For some reason, though, GQ magazine was feeling Iggy’s nipples. She posed for the magazine in a white t-shirt, with her nipples out. There’s a sexual element to it, but we still don’t see Iggy as a sex symbol no matter how hard she tries.

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CAROLINE VREELAND PANTIES TO PARIS

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Caroline Vreeland, 28, always seems to do enough to peak our interest but never enough to satisfy our thirst. So that leaves us thirsty. Like Caroline’s recent Marilyn Monroe in Paris. She posed in a transparent-ish (but not enough) lace dress, and flashed her panties to Paris in a shoot where her dress was blowing up from a gust of wind from a sewer grate below, as she arrived at the Musée Des Arts Decoratifs for the 70th anniversary of the creation of the House of Dior as part of Paris Haute Couture Fashion Week. We needed more.

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KYLIE JENNER SHADOWS OF NIPPLES BARELY MAKES THE CUT

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We were on the fence on Kylie Jenner today. One because a Kardashian going nude or even partly nude is almost a daily occurrence, so no big whoop. Two because Kylie is barely flirting the transparent nipple line, which is less interesting still. But Kardashian news is news. They still have a whole show dedicated to keeping you informed about what is the most recent mundanity in the Kardashian world. So this shoot of Kylie for V magazine is just more grease to turn the Kardashian machine. And we just can’t seem to break away from the machine.

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CAROLINE VREELAND DOES TRANSPARENT FASHION

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Caroline Vreeland, 28, is still trying to find ways to step out from the long shadows cast by her great grandmother, fashion editor and icon Diana Vreeland. This time around, that stepping out involved Caroline modeling transparent fashion (see through, not transgender, if you read that too quickly). We doubt you’ll see too many people walking around naked in see through clothes, but appreciate the naked fashion shots Caroline.

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JOANNA KRUPA’S SEXY BARE ASS FOR VIVA MAGAZINE

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Joanna Krupa, 38, is approaching 40, but still looks like the new 20. She was nude but mostly covered, except for her bare ass (and slightly emerging see through nipples) for Viva magazine. Viva is Canada’s self-proclaimed #1 women’s natural health magazine. It probably isn’t the cover that Joanna coveted, but as you are approaching 40, covers are covers no matter how obscure.

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STELLA MAXWELL SEE THROUGH NIPPLES AND FLAMES ON THE RUNWAY

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Model Stella Maxwell hit the runway at the Moschino catwalk show in Los Angeles, in various different flame themed outfits. We don’t exactly know what message you’re sending when you have flames shooting up from your vagina, but we don’t think there are many that are good. Burning and pussy generally don’t go well in the same sentence. Most people didn’t notice the flames, cause Stella was also topless in the see through flame dress.

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CHLOE KHAN WHITE TEE TRANSPARENCY

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Chloe Khan is 26 and celebrating her birthday in The Bahamas. She was also showing off her enhanced new looks. In April 2017, Chloe talked about her plans for a “designer vagina” and a Brazilian bum lift. She said: “I’m on my way to Elite after care, it is in Turkey so I’m going to jump on a quick flight to go and get a Brazilian butt lift. It’s not implants, they actually take all the fat from your own body that you don’t want and they put it all in your booty, to give you that fat arse. So for someone who isn’t that fat, or wasn’t, I’ve been stuffing my face on Dominoes and loads of munchies all week to pack on the pounds. I love you all so much and I’ll let you in on a little secret, while I’m there I’ll also getting a designer vagina.” But she added, “I’m not advising anyone to get a surgery.” Looks like the operation was a success as far as we can see. But we’d love to get a look at that designer vagina too.

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BELLA THORNE FINALLY DELIVERS SOMETHING WORTH WHILE

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Actress Bella Thorne is only 19, so she’s only been legal for a little more than a year. She’s mostly just flirted with her newfound sexy teen status. After getting Disicked (fucking with Kourtney Kardashian’s ex-husband), she showed up in Los Angeles in a sheer vest top with black satin jogging bottoms. It was fully see-through, continuing a recent nipple flashing trend for Bella. While Bella’s taken a more alternative approach to her look as of late, we still can get down with the nipple preview.

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BELLA HADID KEEPS CANNES FULL OF SEE THROUGH NUDITY

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Bella Hadid, 20, is on a Cannes nudity roll. She’s got two “wardrobe malfunctions” under her dress. At the amfAR Gala at Cannes Film Festival on Thursday night, Bella wore a sheer gown with jeweled adornments and a train. No one exactly cared except for the “sheer” part, which provided an extra does of nudity in Cannes, panties and nipples, where it didn’t really need any, but why the fuck not?

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SARA SAMPAIO HAS THE BEST CAN IN CANNES, OR AT LEAST THE BEST ON DISPLAY

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Portugues model Sara Sampaio, 25, tossed her ass into the ring, for the best body flaunting at the Cannes Film Festival. She flashed her ass on the red carpet with other actresses, models, social media celebrities, arm candy, and WAG, in a a fully see through Francesco Scognamiglio Spring 2017 Couture gown at The Killing Of A Sacred Deer premiere. A good time was had by all.

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#MONDAYMOTIVATION: LINDSEY PELAS

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In spite of our dread of Monday morning, we return with #MondayMotivation, from a motivational favorite, Lindsey Pelas, 26. Just strolling her Instagram page is uplifting. So we rebound from a depressing start to the morning, and gets the engines running hot again. Lindsey has that effort all too often. #MondayMotivation.

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