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SEX ROBOTS ARE PEOPLE TOO

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Does your dildo have a soul? Probably but, as sex toys and in particular sex dolls take on more and more human features, moral and ethical philosophers (and soon liberals who voted for Bernie Sanders and now have no cause to fight for) are starting to ask questions about whether the way we think about them should change. Kent Law School Professor Robin Mackenzie specializes in areas such as robotics and the ethical and legal relations between humans and robots. She said recently: “Sex, law and ethics will never be the same. Sooner than we think, technologists will create sentient, self-aware sex robots, capable of emotional/sexual intimacy.” She added: “Humans having sex with other humans who are unable to consent to sex, like children and adults lacking decision-making capacity, is seen as unlawful and unethical. So is human/animal sex. Such groups are recognised as sentient beings who cannot consent to sex with interests in need of protection. Sentient, self-aware sex robots created to engage in emotional/sexual intimacy with humans disrupt this tidy model. They are not humans, though they will look like us, feel like us to touch and act as our intimate and sexual partners. While they will be manufactured, potentially from biological components, their sentience, self-awareness and capacity for relationships with humans mean that they cannot simply be categorised as things or animals.”

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Maybe that means something and mabye it doesn’t, but at least we have to ask the questions, says Robin. “Ethicists, lawmakers and manufacturers treat robots as things, but future sex robots are more than things. Robotic animated sex-dolls, able to simulate human appearance, assume sexual positions and mimic human conversation and emotions are on sale now. These are things, neither sentient nor self-aware, incapable of relationships or intimacy, as described in the Foundation for Responsible Robotics report just released.” That report, called ‘Our Sexual Future with Robots’ by the Foundation for Responsible Robotics, looked at some of the same issues, including rape and sex robots. The report stated: “On the one hand, if a sex robot is designed to resist sexual advances such that their use constitutes a simulated act of rape, then building them puts the user in relationship with the act of raping a woman. It exhorts and endorses rape. On the other hand, building a robot that is passive or elicits sex is ethically problematic for what it communicates to the broader public about women’s sexuality.”

And all you wanted to do was bust a nut in a soft, warm and wet spot without buyer dinner or having to cuddle after.

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LUMI, BARCELONA! EUROPE’S FIRST SEX DOLL BROTHEL IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS

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A sex doll costs upwards of $5,500. That is a lot of money for your own private cum dumpster. And where would you keep it without someone accidentally finding it? It’s a pain. A new shop in Barcelona, Lumidolls.com, is making it easier, for only $127. For just $127, you can have sex (or not have sex, whatever your fetish) for one hour with one of four big-tittied LumiDolls: a blond European Kati, an Asian Lili, an African Leiza, or a Japanese anime Aki, who wears her blue hair in ponytails. There are no real women in this joint. Only plastic hookers. “They are totally realistic dolls both in their movements and in their ‘feel,’ and they will allow you to fulfill all your fantasies without limits,” says Lumi’s website about its dolls. According to reports, clients are invited to request clothing and positions for their encounters. They are provided a private room in a downtown Barcelona apartment. And in case you had any sanitary concerns (though, let’s be honest, if you are seriously considering this, then cleanliness isn’t your biggest issue), the dolls are disinfected after each use, and clients are asked to use condoms. The proprietors of this house of plastic pussy have said that several sessions have already been reserved.

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COFFEE AND A BLOWJOB RESTAURANT NOW SAYS IT WILL BE USING SEX ROBOTS, AS IF IT WASN’T WEIRD ENOUGH ALREADY

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A “visionary” entrepreneur, Bradley Charvet, had a dream, a coffee shop where you could order a latte and get a blowjob from a prostitute at the same time, just like in Dr. BJ’s Salon in Bangkok, Thailand. Bradley is set to open his first blowjob coffee shop in Geneva, Switzerland, but his plans to bring his dream to London have fizzled into a weird and sordid hallucination. Instead of using prostitutes like he plans in Switzerland where prostitution is legal, in London, Bradley now says he will rely entirely on sex robots (because prostitution is not legal in London). He said the sex-bots will be programmable to a person’s needs and will soon be seen as “totally normal.” The anticipated 15-minute oral sex session with an espresso is expected to cost £60 (US$78). “Sex robots will always be pleasing and could even become better at technique because they would be programmable to a person’s need,” he told the Daily Star Online. “They will improve the sex service. It’s totally normal to see a new way of using robots and others sex toys to have pleasure.” It gets weirder, as Bradley added, “The bar is the place to meet people, to extend your network and the way to start the morning. What could be better than meet your friends around a cafe and to enjoy a nice blow job from a sex robot?”

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Completely missing the very sketchy scene he is setting, Bradley continued to press his idea, saying “Everyone is drinking coffee daily. And nothing is better to start a working day than engaging in sexual action, US research has found. People like to chat before they make love. It makes sense the robots will speak and tease men’s desire.” As to what these sex robots would look like, he said, that eight robots would be dressed in a variety of costumes, “Uniforms are going to be worn: nurse, police, student and secretary.” We give it 3 weeks before going under. Now live prostitutes giving blowjobs in a cafe, that’s not weird at all. We wish him luck in Geneva.



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WATCHING SEX DOLLS BEING MADE BOTH CREEPY AND MILDLY AROUSING

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We think serial killers probably started out watching information videos like this “Sex Dolls: Stoned Mode,” showing “the very unsexy way that sex dolls are made.” And it all went down hill from there. So if you watch, you may watch to check your mental state afterward. If you got a rock hard erection, probably time to think about therapy. Half chubby, then you’re probably normal…probably. Even the music is creepy. And you should really lose it after seeing the mouths. Seeing dismembered body parts, even fake ones, is just not normal.

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