Pornhub.com is on a mission to help save the pandas with porn. Here’s the problem, according to Pornhub: “Giant pandas are one of the world’s most vulnerable populations and currently on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species, the world’s most comprehensive inventory of global conservation status of plant and animal species. The main reason stems from male pandas’ reluctance to fornicate. Male pandas spend an average of 16 hours a day eating and generally sleep for the rest of it. Female pandas – who are sexually receptive only two or three days each year – have a very slim chance of mating with males because of their inactivity.”
Here’s the solution, according to Pornhub: “To get pandas in the mood again, scientists and zookeepers have resorted to various methods to encourage fornication, including using ‘panda porn’ that helps to increase these cuddly little tumblers’ sexual appetite. However, there aren’t many videos readily available and most of them are of poor quality. Pornhub is inviting its viewers to film their own ‘panda porn’ that zookeepers can show pandas to encourage them to get it on. Those who are interested simply need to slip into a panda costume, or use black and white body paint, and get it on…panda style. Fans are encouraged to upload their videos to Pornhub’s new ‘Panda Style’ category with the intention that scientists can use it as a resource for their panda breeding efforts.”
For every “Panda Style” upload, Pornhub offered to donate $100 to panda preservation charities (through the end of yesterday, which was National Panda Day (March 16)), and make additional donations to those videos that racked up the most views. You can check some of the uploads here.
amateur, Charity, Panda, Panda Style, PornHub, Sex
TEN NAVAL OFFICERS CHARGED IN SEX FOR SECRETS SCANDAL, AND IT IS CLEAR THE MILITARY HAS A SEX PROBLEM
Some people believe that young, jacked, and testosterone-fueled military servicemen, sequestered from any real physical relationship with women for extended periods at a time, are going to have normal healthy attitudes towards sex and women. Get fucking real. With military scandal after scandal involving sex, people can’t really keep deluding themselves much longer. And while women are the victims, so too are the men. You can only ask so much of a guy, realistically. We’re justifying any behavior, we’re just saying, there’s a larger problem that gets ignored when people are just looking at the symptoms. Another symptom is rocking the Navy this week, as ten senior naval officers were charged in a sex for secrets scandal. The officers reportedly referred to themselves as “the Cool Kids,” “the Band of Brothers,” “the Brotherhood,” “the Wolfpack,” “the familia,” and “the Lion King’s Harem.” And according to the allegations of the U.S. Attorney Southern District of California the officers worked together to help Singapore-based defense contractor Leonard Glenn Francis, also known as “Fat Leonard,” and his company, Glenn Defense Marine Asia (GDMA), access military secrets in exchange for luxury travel, extravagant dinners, and sex parties with prostitutes.
The company reportedly overbilled the Navy $34 million, aided by the group who were working in concert with Fat Leonard and his company to win defense contracts to provide port services to U.S. Navy ships, to redirect ships to ports controlled by Fat Leonard in southeast Asia (in order to overbill the Navy for supplies and services), to sabotage competing defense contractors, to recruit new leaders coming into the Seventh Fleet, and to keep the conspiracy secret through the use of code names and foreign email services. The indictment named Navy Rear Admiral Bruce Loveless , chief of staff to the Commander of the Navy’s Seventh Fleet David Newland, Captains David Newland, James Dolan, Donald Hornbeck and David Lausman; Marine Corps Colonel Enrico DeGuzman; Commander Mario Herrera; Lt. Commander Stephen Shedd and Chief Warrant Officer Robert Gorsuch.
Fat Leonard, Indictment, Leonard Glenn Francis, Navy, Officers, Scandal, Sex
ACTRESS ALLISON WILLIAMS WANTS THE SUGGESTION OF AN ERECTION BUT NOT A FULL ON STIFF DICK DURING SEX SCENES
Actress Allison Williams and Samuel L. Jackson talk sex scene erections with Andy Cohen. Allison, if you recall, had that immaculate ass eating scene in Girls. But her take on sex scenes and erections really was a fucked if you do or fucked if you don’t philosophy for male actors. Allison said it is “flattering but upsetting when it happens,” a male actor getting an erection during a sex scene, but also “upsetting and unflattering when it doesn’t happen.” Samuel L. Jackson quickly called bullshit. We appreciated the credible male opinion in the room.
Allison Williams, Boner, Erection, Samuel L. Jackson, Sex, Sex Scenes
Someone is shopping round a sextape of actress Mischa Barton, 31, at an ask price of $500,000 and according to Kevin Blatt, Hollywood’s sex-tape broker, “I know that at least three large online porn sites, YouPorn.com, Porn.com and RedTube.com have reviewed it and they’re all seriously considering the offer. I’ve seen stills from the video, it’s clearly Mischa in my opinion. She’s seen performing a sex act on a guy and can be seen having sex in various positions.” The tape allegedly shows Mischa wearing a grey hoodie and nothing else having sex on a double bed with a man wearing just a black t-shirt. The setting is a little sketchy, a bedroom, with a bed that has a leather padded headboard and mirrored panels, with while coffee cups and an empty bottle of Gatorade on a bedside table. A sextape isn’t exactly what Mischa need right now, or it may be exactly what she needs to help her less than stellar reputation in the last few weeks. After an alleged “drug-induced” meltdown she was filmed by a neighbor hanging over a fence in her backyard and calling her mother a “fucking witch.” While she had a sexy photoshoot comeback earlier this month, a sextape is not the direction Mischa appears to have had in mind as her next move.
Mischa responded through her lawyers. Lawyer Lisa Bloom said in a statement, “Ms Barton does not consent to any disclosure of any such images. She believes that she was recorded without her consent by someone she was seeing at the time. There’s a name for this disgusting conduct: revenge pornography. Revenge pornography is a form of sexual assault, and it is also a crime and a civil wrong in California. And we will not stand for it.” She addressed those those attempting to “traffic” the tape directly, saying, “We will come after you. We will fully prosecute you under every available criminal and civil law. You proceed at your peril.”
Mischa Barton, Oral sex, Sex, Sex Tape
Temple University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania tops the list of college sex partners, well above double the national average (of approximately 5 sexual partners in college), according to CollegeStats.org and DrEd.com and their survey of over 2,000 current and former students to learn about sexual habits on campus. Temple was followed by Rutgers University, Texas A&M University, University of South Carolina and Cornell University (representing the Ivy League). Traditional party schools like Arizona State University, Florida State University and the University of Wisconsin Madison also made the list, but not as high as you might think. More surprising, 15% of college students said they “never” use condoms, and 14% said only “sometimes”. That is nearly a third. Be careful out there.
Campus, College, Condoms, Party School, Sex, Survey
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, says longer penises can give women more vaginal orgasms. But only vaginal orgasms, not necessarily clitoral orgasms. Women were asked women how much sex they were having and the effects of a longer-than-average penis on how often they orgasmed. According to the study, “Research indicates that women’s orgasm during penile-vaginal intercourse is influenced by fitness-related male partner characteristics, penis size is important for many women, and preference for a longer penis is associated with greater vaginal orgasm consistency.” The researchers said that these orgasms were reached “without concurrent clitoral masturbation.” So bigger dicks, bigger orgasms, which you probably could have surmised watching almost any porn video. Researchers added, “Women who prefer deeper penile-vaginal stimulation are more likely to have vaginal orgasm, consistent with vaginal orgasm evolving as part of a female mate choice system favoring somewhat larger-than-average penises.” So, yeah, it may be time for that penis implant…
Orgasm, Sex, Study, Women
Millennials are working more, making less, and getting no sex. Well, that may be a bit exaggerated, but they are certainly having less sex than previous generations, according to a new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. The study looked at data collected from the General Social Survey, representing a sample of more than 26,000 American adults. Study participants were asked about their sex lives since 1989. The results were that married or live-in couples had sex 16 fewer times per year in 2010-2014 compared to 2000-2004, and that couples had nine times more sex in 1995-1999 than they do now. “These data show a major reversal from previous decades in terms of marriage and sex,” said Jean M. Twenge, the study’s lead author and professor of psychology at San Diego State University. “In the 1990s, married people had sex more times per year than never-married people, but by the mid-2000s that reversed, with the never-married having more sex.” Who is to blame for the dramatic change? Millennials.
“Despite their reputation for hooking up, Millennials and the generation after them (known as iGen or Generation Z) are actually having sex less often than their parents and grandparents did when they were young,” said Jean. “That’s partially because fewer iGen’ers and Millennials have steady partners.” The numbers are interesting, and age also seems to play a factor. People are at their sexual peak at 25. But each year after that peak, sexual frequency declines by 3.2%. So for example, people in their 20s have sex more than 80 times per year, but that declines to 60 times per year by age 45, and 20 times per year by age 65. “Older and married people are having sex less often – especially after 2000,” Jean said. “In a previous paper, we found that the happiness of adults over age 30 declined between 2000 and 2014. With less sex and less happiness, it’s no wonder that American adults seem deeply dissatisfied these days.” Millennials are just too damn busy texting…
Millennials, Sex, Survey
You can’t exaggerate anymore. Well, you can, but you might just get your shit checked. There is a new smart condom on the market that tracks everything, from performance, to supposedly even the presence of sexually transmitted disease. The i.Con claims to be the “World’s First Smart Condom.” “Welcome to the future of wearable technology in the bedroom,” said manufacturer British Condoms. It is a ring that men can wear with a condom during sex to track their stats. The company is taking “early bird” registrations, but the product is actually not yet available. It is selling pre-order for about $75, with an anticipated released sometime in 2017. The i.Con tracks speed, “average thrust velocity,” duration, skin temperature, girth, calories burned and frequency of sessions. It also gives performance measures, showing the average and “best” performers, tracked through an i.Con app. British Condoms also said that, “all data will be kept anonymous, but users will have the option to share their recent data with friends, or, indeed the world.” So all that bullshit is about it come to an end.
(What do the extra pictures below have to do with the i.Con? Well, motivation of course. Though, for stats purposes, they may be counterproductive. We add them nonetheless.)
App, Condom, i.Con, Sex, Tracking
A study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, surveyed more than 52,000 people in the United States exploring the “orgasm gap” between genders and sexual orientations. They found that 95% of heterosexual men said they usually or always reached orgasm during sex, but then it declined: 89% of gay men said the same; 88% of bisexual men; 86% of lesbian women; 66% of bisexual women; and at the bottom of the barrel, 65% of heterosexual women. “We have a very large sample of gay, lesbian, and bisexual men and women who were recruited in the same way as the heterosexual participants. This is very rare,” lead researcher David Frederick, PhD, assistant professor in Health Psychology at Chapman University, said. “This allowed us to look at whether there are multiple orgasm gaps — the gap between men and heterosexual women, but also lesbian women being less likely to orgasm than men but more likely to orgasm than heterosexual women.” He added, one of the goals of the study was to “focus on what lesbian women might be doing differently than heterosexual couples to see if that might help identify ways to close the orgasm gap.”
The biggest factor was oral sex, though with almost opposite result. Heterosexual women, lesbians, bisexual women and gay and bisexual men were more likely to orgasm when they received oral sex. Straight men were the only group with no link between oral sex and orgasm. While researchers said they were not surprised at this result, David said, “What did surprise us, however, is how few men and women actually routinely have oral sex. Fewer than half of people usually to always incorporate oral sex into their sex lives. Only 25 percent of women who rarely orgasm usually-always receive oral sex.” Other behaviors linked in the study to a greater number of orgasms in women included: asking for what they want in bed, praising their partner for something they did in bed, wearing sexy lingerie, incorporating more variety into their sex life, including date nights, massages, and light S&M, and engaging in “sexy talk” or expressions of love during sex. But don’t forget the key: oral sex.
Gender Gap, Oral sex, Orgasm, Sex
Spain has a sex and family problem. It’s birth rate is falling, and is one of the lowest in the developed world. The country clocked fewer births than deaths for the first time last year. And, since 2008 the number of births in Spain has dropped by 18%. As well, the number of childless couples has nearly tripled from 1.5 million in 1977 to 4.4 million in 2015. While most Spanish women say they would like two or more children, in 2015, women aged 18 to 49 had an average of only 1.3 children. That is well below the EU average of 1.58. In response to Spain’s limp birthing rate, Prime minister Mariano Rajoy appointed Edelmira Barreira as the country’s sex tsar to get Spanish couples fucking and making babies. Some experts have said that long work hours and a culture of eating late at night and going to bed after midnight are partly to blame. But in the end, fewer penises ejaculating into vaginas is the problem. And that is a problem that the new “Minister of Sex” is going to solve.
Birth Rate, Couples, Minister of Sex, Sex, Spaniards
NFL Buffalo Bills running back Reggie Bush got deep inside Monique Exposito, twice. It was probably really good pussy at the time. But Reggie had to raw dog it, and Monique got pregnant. Reggie allegedly paid her $3 million to keep quiet and abort the baby. Monique didn’t, having the baby last month, little baby Preston Alexander Exposito on Super Bowl Sunday. That’s when that good pussy came back to bite Reggie, who is and was at the time married. According to Bossip, Monique “said the [Reggie] is dragging his heels in paying her any more money after a series of stories about their alleged liaisons appeared in the media” and “the pair aren’t seeing eye to eye on future support payments, and [Reggie] has balked at what Exposito is asking for.” In addition, they reported, “The stress of [Monique’s] financial picture is taking its toll on the new mom, and she has been leaving her three-week-old son with a babysitter while she tries to find a new lawyer.” And here’s yet another reason to wrap it up before you beat it up.
Affair, Child Support, Mistress, Monique Exposito, Reggie Bush, Sex
What makes women cheat? A factor may be bad sex, and in particular her failing to get her rocks off. The authors of the Human Female Orgasm As Evolved Signal study recruited 138 female and 121 male college students who were involved in heterosexual relationships, and found that, “Faked orgasm was associated with female sexual infidelity and lower male relationship satisfaction.” Basically, the more a woman faked orgasms, the more likely she was to cheat on her partner. But there was no relationship between the number of orgasms a woman had and her likelihood of cheating. That is, women who are at least getting a little bit of their nut on were satisfied. But having to fake it is what seems to put women over the edge and start seeking that outside dick.
Cheating, Fake Orgasms, Men, Orgasms, Sex, Women
Freezing your dick and pussy is what’s new. It is a new service offered by Cryotherapy UK, which they are calling the “Love Mist.” It is for both men and women, administered by trained professionals (meaning, don’t try to freeze your ball sack at home). It is supposed to boost endorphin levels and sex drive, and enhance appearance. According to Cryotherpay, getting your nuts blasted improves sex drives because “when the sub-zero temperature covers the skin, the sudden drop in heat stimulates the temperature receptors”. It causes the blood vessels to undergo “vasoconstriction,” producing quicker blood flow and increased endorphin levels, and a natural high. As to appearance, the company said, “While the skin continues to feel the ‘freeze’ the body sends signals back and forth to the brain. These messengers tell the brain if there is damage to the tissues, to repair them.” Cryotherapy added, “It’s this that along with the instant endorphin level energy boost and natural high, generates a tighter, youthful, clear and vibrant genital skin appearance through boosting collagen.” As to the process, a trained professional hits your dick or pussy with a -160 degree vapour blast from a liquid nitrogen tank. The nitrogen is filtered and distributed through a funnel. It is a 30-minute treatment, and costs £50 (or $62).
Balls, Cryotherapy, Dick, Endorphins, Freeze, Genitals, Liquid Nitrogen, Nitrogen, Pussy, Sex
GATHER UP YOUR MILK MONEY, TIME TO GO TO FLORIDA, BANGABLE HOMELESS WOMAN FUCKING TEENS IN PUBLIC BATHROOMS
You are probably better off saving your money and yourself from a case of almost certain gonorrhea. But a decent looking homeless woman is having sex with teens in Ocala, Florida. (We don’t know if she’s doing it for money or the thrill of sex with teens in public bathrooms, apparently that’s a thing now.) According to the Ocala Police Department, Maria Lynn Baker was arrested by a detective on Saturday morning on two counts of lewd and lascivious battery. Police said that Maria called the police herself on Friday, supposedly to tell on the teenage boys before they told on her, but didn’t tell police exactly what the boys did. So the police went to check it out, and found Maria arguing with another woman. That woman told the officer that she had evidence Maria was having sex with boys. The woman showed the police a video of Maria having sex with a boy. Maria had allegedly had sex with two 12- to 14-year-old boys inside a bathroom. Police officials said she may face more charges, because they believe there may be more victims.
Florida, Homeless Sex, Maria Lynn Baker, Ocala, Police, Sex
MILLENNIALS ARE HAVING SEX BEFORE THE FIRST DATE, PROBABLY CAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE MONEY TO PAY FOR THE DATE ANYWAY
Millennials are whores. Whores and man-whores. Just whores. A new survey of 5,000 Millennials suggests that they are aren’t waiting to no third date, but are having sex before even the first date. Whores. Dating website Match.com funded the survey, the annual Singles in America survey, which was conducted by Research Now, surveying more than 5,000 singles. According to the study, 34% of singles have had sex before a first date, and Millennials are 48% more likely to have sex before a first date than all other generations of singles. Millennials just don’t give a fuck, though those weren’t exactly the words of Helen Fisher a biological anthropologist and chief scientific adviser to Match, who helped develop the survey. “We have a real misunderstanding of Millennials,” she said. “I think they are very career oriented, so sex before the first date could be a sex interview, where they want to know if they want to spend time with this person.” According to Kimberly Resnick Anderson, a certified sex therapist, interviewed by USAToday, sex is simply less intimate that it used to be. “We used to think of sex as you crossed the line now you are in an intimate zone, but now sex is almost a given and it’s not the intimate part,” Kimberly said. But now, “The intimate part is getting to know someone and going on a date.”
It may just come down to paying the bill, especially in an age where Millennials are lucky to have a job and not live with their parents. According to the study, 71% of men found it attractive when a woman offers to split the bill. But it is a bit of mixed message between the sexes, with 65% of men reporting that they thought a woman offered to split in order to be polite, and 78% of women saying they offered to pay because they don’t want to feel obligated for anything after the date. Having sex before the date really takes all that bill paying out of the equation. Maybe Millennials are on to something.
Date, Dutch, First Date, Match, Millennials, Sex, Survey
The most common myth is that one of the benefits of aging, at least for men, is the opportunity to take a young girl under your wing (penis) and take her for a trip around the world (sex). Turning 50 was a mythical second right of passive for old men, becoming official sugar daddies to college girls who just need some help with tuition and books. Well, a recent study may have debunked that myth, showing that in fact, most people prefer to have sex with partners of the same age range, including men. Published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, the study by Jan Antfolk at Abo Akademi University in Turku, Finland suggests that while there is some truth to the belief, confirmed by earlier research, that older men prefer young women, that is only partly true, the preference doesn’t often manifest itself in actual sex with younger women.
The study was conducted in Finland with 878 adult men and 1,789 adult women. The study found that, “Whereas women of all ages prefer slightly older sexual partners, men, regardless of their age, have a preference for women in their twenties.” But still, “Over the investigated age span, women reported a narrower age range than men and women tended to prefer slightly older men,” and “men’s age range widens as they get older: While they continue to consider sex with young women, men also consider sex with women their own age or older,” said study author Dr Jan Antfolk. Jan added, “It is true that men, more than women, tend to maintain a sexual interest in younger partners,” but that “[c]ontrary to what has been reported from earlier studies, most men and women are also sexually interested in partners their own age throughout life. Most sexual activity occurs between partners of approximately the same age.” So much for that mythical second right of passage.
Men, Older, Sex, Study, Women, Younger