Sinnandskin Blog

LINDSEY PELAS PUTS HER “NICE PILLOWS” TO WORK

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Nest Bedding, a pillow manufacturer, used Lindsey Pelas’ gigantic tits in a campy SFW commercial bid to get you to buy their pillows. It showed minimal cleavage. And for Lindsey, who has posed nude (see below), we felt this was a gigantic underutilization of her assets. But it was kinda funny, in a hokey sorta way. But if you want airtime on any major network, you gotta play it safe. But what’s the fun in that?

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HEATHER GRAHAM, ALMOST OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR GRANDMA, HOT ENOUGH TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND

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Heather Graham, 47, is, according to her recent bikini post on her Instagram page, “Off for a swim,” in one of her hottest bikini pictures to date. We have been following aging celebrities like Heather for some time now, because you all seem to love them, even in their old age, in spite of new, fresh, hot young blood in the water. We are servants of the public, however. So we have no choice. In this case, we don’t exactly feel pushed into talking about Heather and her hot ass granny body.

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KENDALL JENNER CHEESY MARILYN MONROE, BECAUSE DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

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Kendall Jenner is a publicity juggernaut. It really doesn’t even matter what she does, no matter how cheesy and uninspired. You are just going to consume it anyway, like this recent shoot with Love magazine, as she channels Marilyn Monroe. If not for it being Kendall Jenner, it would be an utter waste of time. It is “SFW,” but somehow we feel it would still not be Kosher to sit around a computer with your buddies at work leering at Kendall and getting excited. We didn’t see that in the sexual harassment workbook, but we think it’s safe to say that SFW in this case is misleading.

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LOVE ADVENT VIDEO CALENDAR BONUS ROUND HANNAH FERGUSON AND NINA AGDAL

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Love magazine’s advent video calendar wasn’t that impressive this year. Years past have admittedly been much better. But they did add a couple extra bonus videos that we felt at least helped it to end on a high note. With Hannah Ferguson and Nina Agdal, even a “high note” is a bit of an understatement. It is still made-for-YouTube and so not at all nude, but sexy enough to warrant a mention this morning.

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PORNHUB DROPS BOMB ASS CHRISTMAS COMMERCIAL

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Once you know it’s a Pornhub commercial, then this commercial becomes rather predictable, but it is good nonetheless for its mainstreaming of porn. Now, we’re not sure who the hell you’d give a Pornhub gift card to, we couldn’t imagine giving it to a family member, or for that matter anyone remotely close to you…..Secret Santa maybe (so long as it remains secret). But maybe your family rolls like that. It’s a funny commercial either way, and a good attempt at making porn more socially acceptable, though still far from family Christmas gift fare. But here’s Pornhub’s best pitch: “This holiday season, give the most touching gift of all! Pornhub Premium’s new gifting service allows you to spread the love to family and friends with specially customizable gift cards. Add a personal message and send same day or on a future date of your choosing! Pornhub Premium offers a totally ad-free experience to its users, complete with faster playback and higher quality streaming on the millions of videos currently on Pornhub as well as the largest collection of exclusive full length HD adult titles available in crisp 1080p resolution.” You gotta love it…

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JESSICA SIMPSON, DON’T ACT LIKE YOU FORGOT, THAT GIRL IS STILL HOT

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Many female celebrities from the 90s are way past their prime. Take Tara Reid. It’s basically over for Tara. If her career wasn’t already dead, Sharknado was all the reassurance anyone needed that Tara was off in the deep end of the pool of the obscurity. Jessica Simpson, on the other hand, she was living on borrowed time, but has basically brought herself back from the edge. We haven’t been talking about Jessica much, but her Instagram page has been generating a lot of renewed interest. We loved Jessica back in the 90s, and we think it’s an affair we are now seeing reason to rekindle.

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JESSICA BURCIAGA GETS DIRTY FOR SLICKFORCEGIRL

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Today is one of those days. Much going on in the world of uncensored news and adult entertainment. Next up is Jessica Burciaga, who before we even knew what a SlickforceGirl was, made us fall in love. She’s got some incredibly hot pictures and a video to give you a proper introduction, and here’s what SlickforceGirl.com had to say “Unsurprisingly, the response to our new Desert Mechanic Jessica character has been overwhelmingly positive — roughly 70% excitement and 30% drooling — which we no doubt owe in large part to our beautiful model Jessica Burciaga, who brought this hero to life. To her credit, it was pretty much impossible to make Jess even slightly unattractive, even with mountains of grease and dirt piled on her. She was a trooper ’til the end, so we thought it only fair to give our beloved readers a behind-the-scenes look at the making of this shoot.”

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EVERYONE ENAMORED WITH CHRISSY TEIGEN’S BUTT ON VACATION

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After posing nude, Chrissy Teigen is still showing her star power with non-nude pictures, though provocative non-nude pictures. Her butt is trending today, after she posted pictures of her curvaceous backside to Instagram. We don’t make the news, and open-back one-piece swimsuit butt pictures, no matter how tight the wedgie aren’t exactly a top headline for us, but we never doubt the will and desire of the people. And right now that will and desire is focused on Chrissy Tiegen’s ass. We are happy to oblige.

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RACHEL HILBERT IS A LINGERIE GODDESS FOR GALORE

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We don’t often stop to take notice of lingerie shoots. So few stand out to make us take notice. They so often only remind us we are taking time to credit someone for not getting naked, a status we rarely even bestow on celebrities. But Rachel Hilbert is different, at least for today, because her shoot with Galore magazine was one of those exceptional moments where we just couldn’t, in good conscience, let this opportunity pass without letting out a cat call whistle and fake squeezing invisible breasts in the air, while lapping our tongue. Yeah, baby, that’s it, mama. Work it.

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JOSELYN CANO HAS EVERYTHING THE BODY CRAVES

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Model Joselyn Cano has a butt that looks like red beans and rice didn’t miss her (cue the Sir Mix-a-Lot “Baby Got Back” CD). She says she’s a vegetarian, and if that’s the result, we wholly endorse vegetarianism. We got turned on to Joselyn’s Instagram page recently, and it was chock full of curvy bikini pics, each hotter than the one before it. We have to admit we spent some time scrolling down her page. We suggest you do the same.

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PORNHUB’S INVENTED A TWERKING BUTT SEX TOY

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We can think of a thousand better ways to spend $1,000, but if you can’t, you may want to condider buying Pornhub’s new Twerking Butt sex toy. You heard us, a silicone mold ass that twerks, you can watch it, hold it, slap it, and most important, stick your dick in it. It comes in two different versions: classic ($699.00) and deluxe ($999.00). Apparently this has been the brainchild of some Pornhub developers for 4 years. “It took us over 4 years to bring TwerkingButt from concept to reality. Our development team worked tirelessly to combine the latest wireless, APP, and optical technologies as well as our patented Cyberskin, which simulates the sensual feel of true skin-to-skin contact.” said Jimmy Wyne, Director at Topco Sales, who developed the sex toy with Pornhub. According to their press release, “The TwerkingButt was developed to replicate the feeling of real intimate contact thanks to its patented CyberSkin technology which warms to an exact body temperature of 98.6 degrees, while also providing ideal levels of friction, elasticity and softness that’s as near to the human sexual experience as possible.”

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“We can barely contain our excitement for the new TwerkingButt,” said Corey Price, Vice President, Pornhub. “I think we can honestly say that the release of our new product will mark a new benchmark in the convergence of emerging technology and immersive pleasure to deliver one of the most lifelike sexual simulation experiences on the market today.” The device features multiple twerking patterns, customizable rhythms, massage speeds, sensual vibrations, and simulated body heat, which can all be custom controlled with the included remote or via your smart phone/tablet (Android or iOS). And if that didn’t sell you, cause we sure as shit aren’t sold, also included with the product is custom virtual reality goggles and 3D content for a truly immersive experience. If that’s how you get down, then by all means, get down like that. We just thought the video was funny…



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LYNA PEREZ HAS TALENT, SHOWS IT ALL OVER INSTAGRAM

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We are always on the lookout for new faces. Lyna Perez is a Miami girl, born and raised, who is a new face we are paying attention to closely. She is 23, 5’5, 108lbs, and a 32DD-22-34. Blonde hair, brown eyes. We came across Lyna’s Instagram page, and it is a shrine to her busty 32DDs, and aspirations to share her every moment with the good people of the world. God bless her heart.

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ELIZABETH OLSEN’S PEACHY UPSKIRT PANTY FLASH

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We still think Marilyn Monroe has a lock on the all-time hottest panty upskirt, but Elizabeth Olsen, younger-sister of Mary-Kate and Ashley, and an actress of note in her own right, is giving Marilyn reason to be concerned (that is, were she still alive). Elizabeth put down a cute and innocent but kinky peach panty flash in a recent shoot. We’re guessing staged, but the look on her face is priceless. Those Olsen girls, their parents must be so proud.

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THE CHARLOTTE MCKINNEY BIKINI EXPERIENCE IS ALMOST SPIRITUAL

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Bikini model sensation Charlotte McKinney is in GQ magazine and for good reason, she’s just that hot and more. She is the heir apparent to the thrown from which Kate Upton was recently evicted cause she’s just not that hot anymore, and she’s recently grown to the size of an Orca whale, at least as model sizes go. We can only hope Charlotte does not go the way of Kate Upton, blow up, then blow up and fail at an acting career. We hope Charlotte sticks to what she does best, looking good, really good.

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NICKI MINAJ IS STILL SEXY ON INSTAGRAM

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Nicki Minaj is a steady source of sexy on Instagram. Nicki has not yet official jumped on the Free the Nipple campaign and put up topless nudes, but she still does catsuits and thong ass shots that are even better.

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THE HEALING POWER OF JESSICA ALBA BIKINI YOGA ON INSTAGRAM

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Jessica Alba is the most beautiful celebrity today. We adore her for many reasons, not the least of which is her new billion dollar valuation. Just looking at her makes our day better. And seeing her in serenity pose on her Instagram page, gives us a sense of inner peace deep down in our chakra (Muladhara to be exact….that’s the gonads, the male testes if you still haven’t caught on by now).

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