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THE HEART-SHAPED BOOB CHALLENGE HITS CHINA, NEEDS TO COME TO THE United States

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Chinese girls on Weibo.com are doing the Heart-Shaped Boob Challenge, making your breast into the shape of a heart with your hands. Only a few women were NSFW enough to put their heart-shaped boobs on the Chinese social media website, but the few who did quickly amassed over 1.6 million views. The heart-shapped boobs were quickly removed from Weibo by censors, but cached versions of the site remain. According to What’s on Weibo, the challenge was inspired by Ayi Xi Tai Lǜ, a live-stream host who heart-shapped her boobs for fans on one of her late-night sessions last month. Hopefully soon to hit the United States.

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NOT EVERYONE GOT THE JOKE

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A blackboard outside The Southern Cross, a pub in the United Kingdom, reads: “The NAKED truth about our WAITRESSES is they only FLIRT WITH YOU to get a better tip.” The words in all caps were much larger than the other words, giving the appearance from afar that the sign said “NAKED WAITRESSES FLIRT WITH YOU” if you weren’t able or didn’t care to read the fine print. Of course it make news because someone was offended. Jess Costello. She took a picture, and shared her outrage. “I don’t drive past there often but I was dropping my friend off there and I couldn’t believe it. I was wondering if it was a joke. I’ve never seen anything like it before. How they’ve written it and how it captures your eye – they’ve done it on purpose to get men in. It just invites inappropriate behaviour. If the intention was to get people in, they are only advertising to a very particular person. I’ve waitressed in the past and it’s annoying enough as it is.” Others on social media weighed in, “The 1960’s called… they want their sexist advertising back!’ There were a few defenders, but mostly shamers. The pub quickly responded: “We apologise for displaying this inappropriate sign. It was written by a team member and meant to be light-hearted but on reflection we understand it was offensive. We took it down on Sunday and would like to say sorry to anyone who was offended.” We want the sixties back.

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PORNHUB IS REQUIRING SOCIAL MEDIA LOGINS IN RUSSIA. IS THIS THE FUTURE OF AGE VERIFICATION COMING TO AMERICA?

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Producing porn in Russia is illegal. Watching it is not. So Russians watch a lot of porn, like everyone else in the world. But Russia is strict on age verification. Something the rest of the world is not, particularly the United States. You can get online in the U.S. and watch porn at 8 years old, so long as your have grossly negligent American parents (which most do). To avoid being banned in Russian, porn juggernaut, Pornhub.com, is requiring Russians to verify their age by logging in with their social media account on VKontakte, Russia’s Facebook. “This was the most effective and simple way to ensure compliance with Russian laws about the access to the content for adults.” Dmitry Kolodin, a representative of PornHub in Russia said. “It is a safe and simple answer to checking compliance with the 18+ rating.” Before the change, porn seekers only had to state their age, but Dimtry said this was “obvious to get around for users.” “We are forced to adhere to Russian law in order to continue working actively on Russia’s territory,” he explained. “This (new) option has shown itself to be more workable.”

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But obviously Russians, who don’t want their grandmother knowing what kind of kinky porn they like, are not happy. PornHub promised third parties would not get more users’ information than before, but not all Russians are warming up to the idea. Now, we don’t exactly care what happens in Russia. None of us are members of the Trump family. But if this is the future of age verification calls, everyone should be a little bit afraid. Cause this could be coming to America soon.

sGOV1

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NAVY, MARINES BAN SHARING NUDES WITHOUT CONSENT

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The Navy and Marine Corps officially prohibited sharing nude images without consent as part of their conduct regulations. The new regulations ban the nonconsensual or wrongful distribution of an “intimate image.” The change comes after recent scandals of servicemen sharing nude pictures of fellow servicewomen. “It is a call to arms in the wake of recent reports of unprofessional and inappropriate social media behavior by some who have lost sight of that most fundamental purpose they themselves are duty-bound to serve,” Acting Secretary of the Navy Sean Stackley said in a statement. “Our ability to succeed as a warfighting organization is directly tied to our ability to fight as one team — a team that treats one another honorably.” Marine Corps Commandant Gen. Robert Neller signed the guidelines last month, clarifying that the military code of justice punishments that apply to social media sexual harassment are the same as those that apply to all other sexual harassment.

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sMAR1

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PORNHUB’S GOT A SFW APP THAT TURNS YOUR DICK PICS INTO “TRICKPICS,” THE NAME OF THE APP

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Pornhub is helping you “cover up your goodies,” while still being able to post those nude pictures you just can’t resist sharing on social media. It is introducing TrickPics, “the world’s first augmented reality filters for your naught bits.” Basically what that means is that you upload your pictures to the app, apply a filter that covers your nipples, pussy, dick, asshole, etc. (according to Pornhub, “your northern regions or south of the border”), and then it saves to your phone, not to the app. And then share until your heart is content.

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BIMBO TRANSFORMATION FETISH GETS THE SOCIAL MEDIA TREATMENT

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Bimbo Transformation artist Sortimid (her username on DeviantArt.com) designed an image showing the fetish in action: a big busty blog bends over picks up a book, begins to read and transforms into a dark-haired nerdy college girl. Basically, the message is that blondes with big tits are dumb. And girls with half a brain are ugly. It was ripe for social media criticism. One Facebook user said, “According to this illustration, reading takes away muscle tone, besides that it makes you white, almost European. And makes you cut your hair.” Another person on Twitter said, “To believe in this shit and support it is really is something else.” The artist said it was a commissioned work that was not intended to be seen by a broader audience. And she has apologized to the client on the picture’s DeviantArt.com page, in part, while also provided more context to the fetish, saying, “Just wanted to say I’m sorry for all the flak you’ve gotten over this misunderstood picture! Hopefully people will either take the time to enlighten themselves and find context, or move on. Either way, good luck” She later apologized more contritely, “Perhaps it was naïve of me to assume it was ‘just another transformation.’ People don’t see it as ‘porn’ so they assume it must be a statement. Their criticism is valid. I apologize for advancing those stereotypes. I strive to create erotica that is both sexy and feminist. It seems, in this case, I have failed spectacularly and for that, I apologize. If there’s anything I can do to make up for it, please let me know.” Everybody is a critic these days…

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sTRAN1

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WAIT, KHLOE KARDASHIAN HAS A DICK……HONESTLY, NOT SURPRISED

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If you think you’re going to Twitter troll a Kardashian and get away unscathed, you haven’t been dick whipped by Khloe Kardashian. Yes, Khloe has finally come out of the closet as a tranny, which we all really suspected any way. Some poor soul, who goes by the handle @Slimmy97 on Twitter, said, “Cavs haven’t been playing well since @KhloeKardshian Just saying”. Within a few hours, Khloe just said back, “They are #1 in their conference but thanks 4 sucking my dick hard enough 2 think I have that much power. Lick on my balls while you’re at it”. We’re not sure what’s up with women increasingly using dick metaphors, but we just have one question: How big is your dick, Khloe? It must just make a difference to @Slimmy97.

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KENDALL JENNER INEXPLICABLY DELETES INSTAGRAM PAGE

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If you’re looking for Kendall Jenner, 21, on Instagram, “Sorry, this page isn’t available,” is all you’ll find. On Sunday, Kendall deleted her Instagram page, with 68 million followers, going on a social media detox. She recently talked about her disgust with social media. “Sometimes I delete Instagram or Twitter or Snapchat off my phone for a couple days,” she said. This time, she went all the way. But not to worry, she still has her Twitter account.

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ARTIST REMOVING NIPPLES TO PROTEST NIPPLE CENSORSHIP

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Artist Sasha Frolova is fighting back against social media nipple censorship, in her own way, with her art. Almost two years ago Facebook and Instagram censored a picture that Sasha posted of herself nude because it showed her nipples. It was self-portrait in the bathtub after she suffered a panic attack, which Sasha felt expressed vulnerability and strength. But nipples equals censored. Sasha decided to challenge social media censorship policy, which she says, “does not delineate pornography from anatomy.” So she had women posed nude against a Renaissance portraits backdrop, and simply removed the nipples. “Although I am a fiery, stubborn Taurus, I am not particularly aggressive and my anger at having the picture taken down was expressed in simply matching the guidelines that social media gave me,” Sasha explained. No nipples means social media acceptable. “Why are we teaching our children that nipples are vulgar through toys like Barbie, who still does not have nipples? In fact, I think it would be unsettling for us to see a Barbie with nipples. Yet it is equally unsettling to see these images without them. Why?”

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But Sasha isn’t exactly a fan of #freethenipple. “Recently I have been confronted with some of the problematic side effects of movements like #freethenipple that, while promoting ownership of one’s body, simultaneously reduce a complex subset of feminism to a convenient hashtag and assert a link between nudity and empowerment,” she said. As to her work, she explained, “More than communicating a specific thought directly, I hope to leave an image in a viewer’s mind, like an emblem, that can recall the contradictory relationship between the highly censored yet sexualized female bodies in the media.” We just see tits with no nipples, but intellectual depth has never been our strong suit.

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PORN STAR LISA ANN DENIES FUCKING RAY RICE IN CRAZED RANT ABOUT RACISM

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Porn star Lisa Ann, though retired, still gets treated like she’s a porn star. Let us not forget, though, she was and still is a legendary porn star. So that moniker ain’t going anywhere any time soon. Apparently Lisa Ann attend a charity event and took a picture with married former NFL player Ray Rice, and since then, everyone has speculated she fucked Ray, because she’s a porn star, known for fucking. But Lisa put those rumors to bed when approached by TMZ, saying, “Let me just say something to the world right now, okay. I did a celebrity charity event on Sunday in the Bronx at Orchard Beach for Hoops in the Sun. I was a coach. My team won. Ray Rice was not on my team, and my team won. Had he been on my team, he may have won. We met, we took a photo, that was it.” That was explanation enough. Lisa put it to bed and that was all that needed to be said.

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But Lisa continued, cause racism against white people in America is the leading problem in this country right now. Lisa said, “But I will tell you, I have been attacked by racists for the past 48 hours. I’m a taking a no social media day, because I had to black, block over a 1,000 people yesterday. And I cannot believe the intensity of hate and racism directed at me because I did a charity event. And took I pictures with people. Everybody needs to understand, just because I do something, I’m not always having sex. Just because I did porn, just like Ray Rice deserves a second chance in this world because he’s paid his price, he lost his opportunity. He’s no longer in the NFL. I deserve a second chance in life too. I did my job. I retired. I’ve moved on. I’m working really hard at something else. And I am constantly harassed, constantly disrespected, and constantly disregarded as a decent human being. And as for the racism end of it, I am distraught at where we are right now in this world. And that people don’t have better things to do than harass other people and bully other people on social media.” We feel for Lisa, we really do, but trying to play the racism card as a white women right now, just ain’t gonna fly. As as the biggest name is porn, almost ever, Lisa of all people has to know that it will follow her forever, for good and for bad. And complaining about it ain’t gonna change nothing. You can watch Lisa’s racism rant on TMZ here .

sLISA1

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KYLIE JENNER IS SOCIAL MEDIA EYE CANDY BUT NOT YET MATURED

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Who can blame Kylie Jenner, she’s still only 18. And sure enough she is social media eye candy, but she has not channeled her inner Kardashian (cause she’s a Jenner, of course, so we may come to find she wants to become a man one day soon), and release more mature content for the consumption of her 60 million followers. Instead, she’s pushing her swimwear line. Business savvy perhaps, but moderately boring. If not for being Kylie Jenner we would have passed this morning. She can do better.

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WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN FINDFACE HITS THE UNITED STATES?

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FindFace is a facial recognition app that is currently only limited to Russian social media websites, mainly VK.com (Russian’s Facebook), but works like this: upload a picture, and FindFace will search social networks to identify the person in the pictures. It started catching after a story in St. Petersburg about a photographer who talked about how he was able to track down models he photographed but couldn’t find to deliver promised pictures. Harmless enough. But after that, it turned. Users started using FindFace to track down porn stars and prostitutes to find their real names and social media pages, and harass their family and friends — some of whom didn’t know the person had done porn or prostitution. The trolls claimed they were acting out of a sense of “moral outrage” against pornographic material, but it’s basic online stalking. In an interview with TJournal the founder of the service, Maxim Perlin, said there was nothing the company could do to prevent women from getting harassed in such a fashion but said the company was “making every effort to protect all Vkontakte users from potential malicious acts”.

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It is only a matter of time before it hits the United States. We’ll see how this plays out.

sKNO1

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SAY WHAT (THE FUCK)? WHAT YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT FARRAH?

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Farrah Abraham is clearly on some next level weed that we have not been able to get our hands on. You have to be on weed, cocaine, crack, somethin’ to say shit like this. “I’ve been beating out Kim on a lot of things,” Farrah said in a clip from her upcoming interview on Monday’s Nik Richie Podcast. “I think I’ve surpassed her in certain aspects. Then again, I conduct myself and my brand in a different way and my life in a very different journey.” She continued, “I think I’m doing very well, if not better.” Fucking awesome. You gotta love Farrah Abraham in a big way.

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HERE’S A GUIDE TO YOUR BEST OPENING LINE, BY LOCATION, SEX AND AGE

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If you’re still opening with “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” it’s time to update the goodie bag of pickup lines, or probably give up entirely, cause that never worked, except in porn films. And if you happen to be looking for ways to tighten up your online game, then lucky for you dating app Hinge had their copywriters and data analysts come up with over 100 opening lines and tested them out on 22% of their user base to see which opening lines worked the best. They even measured it by location, sex and age, cause those Midwestern girls aren’t the same as the Southern Belles. For example, the best opener in Chicago was “What 90s song would you use as the title of your autobiography?” “You Sexy Motherfucker,” by Prince, of course. But those girls in D.C. (it’s still the South), preferred, “Chose a dream job: puppy photographer or pizza critic?” Seriously, is this even a question? Puppy photographer. Cause who’s bringing in their puppies? Single post-college girls adjusting to life without dorms, fraternities and booty calls on the regular, and divorced housewives. Here are the rest of the results, see what works best for you.

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WHICH PORN STARS ARE BLOWING UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA, IT DEPENDS ON THE MEDIA, BUT LISA ANN AND NIKKI BENZ ARE ON THE LIST FOR ALL THREE

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Porn stars are popular on social media, no doubt. Pornhub and Sotrender teamed up to find out which ones are the most popular on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, Lisa Ann and Nikki Benz made the top list on all three. Alexis Texas was top in two, but couldn’t pull out the hat trick. Here’s the methodology: “In our analysis we only included porn stars that are still active, have performed in at least one movie in 2015 and run Facebook pages. Yes, we know that Sasha Grey is the best. Undoubtedly, she is the queen of all porn stars active across social media. But the style of her posts significantly differs from the style of other actresses’, and hers no longer concern her acting career. Apart from Grey, the top of the rankings would also include Jenna Jameson, Bree Olson or Zuzka Light, if only they had performed in a movie in the past 8 months. What is also interesting is the fact that porn actresses are far more popular on social media than actors. Even though we had included their profiles in our analysis, they didn’t show up in any of the top rankings.” And here’s the lists:

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CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS SHARING TOPLESS PANTY PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM

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Social media is getting more and more kinky every day. Singer Christina Aguilera is getting in on the act, sharing nude pictures in just her panties on her Instagram page. Nudity, of course, is the way to get social media and blog news attention. Sharing pictures of your dinner and cutesy quotes just isn’t cutting these days. Kim Kardashian has set the standard, and let everyone know she had made bank being a social media harlot. We can only assume Christina felt she could out social media the social media queen. In posting her nude picture, Christina said “Just so you know with me, it’s all real, all the time. Felt like it was time to start sharing some personal stuff with you guys… And it’s just the beginning. Night night. X”. It is way past time, but welcome to the party, Christina.

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