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SOPHIA VERGARA NUDE ON THE COVER OF WOMEN’S HEALTH, AND OLD NAKED CELEBRITIES JUST KEEP COMING

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Sofia Vergara, 45, posed nude but covered and so not really at all interesting for Women’s Health’s Naked 2017 issue. We know why old celebrities are so eager to get naked to maintain their public profile, but why anyone really cares, we don’t know. Sofia Vergara nude 20 years ago would have been hot. Now, much less so. Sofia offered a bit of an explanation in talking about the change in women who are now appearing on magazine covers. “It’s not just the Barbie doll on the cover,” she said. “It’s real women. So it’s getting better. I think before it was a little bit more strict to how women were supposed to look… It’s not about having muscle or cut abs. I don’t have abs because I’m not ‘I need to be a fit model with the perfect body.’ That would take too much effort!” We obviously disagree with Sofia about what it means to be “getting better.” But we can’t say we don’t love a woman comfortable getting nude. And Sofia says she is (at least now). She talked about her shoot, saying “I’ve always been very comfortable with my body. You know, I’m Latin so we grow up going to the beach in a G-string. I used to do work for the Latin market in my 20s. Like I would do calendar shoots, very sexy and everything. And you know things have changed … how much you take care of yourself is a reality. We all age and you have to embrace it.” Embrace it certainly, show it off to other people at 45, well, not so much. Sofia is somewhat self-aware though. She knows she’s got 32DDDs that make her nude but covered hard to cover. “They’re all of tall models holding their boobs with one arm,” she said. “But I can barely cover my boobs with two arms — I’m a 32-triple-D! My boobs are real, and I had a baby. If I grab them, I can’t even cover the nipple!”

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SOFIA VERGARA WENT ALL ANAL AND ANUS FOR THE GOLDEN GLOBES

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Colombian actress Sofia Vergara, 44, spiced up her Golden Globes introduction with sprinkles of mispronunciation of “annual” as “anal” and “anus.” “The Hollywood Foreign Press Association has an anal tradition … I didn’t, sorry, I didn’t mean anal,” she said, and then continued, “I mean they have an anus tradition… They have a tradition that they do every year of choosing a second generation performer to assist in the presentation of the award. To fulfill the duties of Miss Golden Globes tonight are the three beautiful daughters of Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Flavin, Scarlet, Sistine and Sophia Stallone. Bravo.” It worked at the Golden Globes, but social media wasn’t as impressed, given the campy and tired stereotype of a foreign accent unable to get English words rights. Some said it racist, though that seems a little far fetched. Everybody is a critic these days…

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SOFIA VERGARA’S NIPPLE MAKES AN APPEARANCE AT HBO’S EMMY AFTER PART

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For you Sofia Vergara fans, we thought we would run this nip slip from HBO’s Emmy after party, where when dancing the night away, Sofia’s nipple came out for an appearance that everyone seems head over heels (kind of like Sofia in the picture) in love with. We think it’s much ado, about a nipple.

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THREESOME WITH SHARON STONE AND SOFIA VERGARA IN “FADING GIGOLO”

Sharon Stone is still good quality MILF, and add a little bit of Sofia Vergara for the perfect fantasy celebrity threesome in the upcoming film “Fading Gigolo.” It’s a comedy, based around Murry’s (played by Woody Allen) hot dermatologist’s (Sharon Stone) disclosure that she and her girlfriend (Sofia Vergara) are looking to experiment with a threesome. Woody brings in his friend Fioravante (John Tuturro) to do the deed, and in the process becomes a pimp for him to women in the city. All that just for a threesome scene with Sharon and Sofia, is still worth every moment. Here’s a great picture and the trailer for the movie.

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