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CHRISTIE BRINKLEY’S DAUGHTER SAILOR TOPLESS SHOOTING FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED

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Sailor Brinkley Cook, 19, is on location for Sports Illustrated‘s Swimsuit Edition. She shared some of her topless pictures on her Instagram page, one saying, “Viva Arruuuuuuba”. Sailor’s no Christie, but she didn’t fall far from the family tree.





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KATE UPTON BACK FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED, AND THE SPONGEBOB RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY

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Kate Upton’s glorious return to Sports Illustrated isn’t exactly glorious, but it is a return. The problem has never been with Kate’s weight, as most people thought, including us. We jumped on the Kate is fat bandwagon, prematurely. And we aren’t ashamed to admit when we are wrong. Kate is back proving that she’s not fat. She’s thinner than she’s ever been. The problem with Kate Upon is she has a SpongeBob SquarePants body. Fat had nothing to do with it. If you slapped a pair of big tits and a bikini on SpongeBob, we suspect he’d resemble a yellow Kate Upton. Now, if you take offense, or you are Kate Upton, well we don’t care. We love SpongeBob. So in a way it’s a compliment.

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KATE UPTON SPORTS ILLUSTRATED 2017 NEVER SEEN BEFORE

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Sports Illustrated released some “never-before-seen footage from Kate Upton’s epic Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2017 shoot.” They shot on location in Fiji by photographer Yu Tsai. If you like Kate Upton, then this is worth while, because it’s short anyway. We just feel like Kate is old news. Stop trying to bring her back, SI. Let it go.


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SAILOR BRINKLEY COOK (CHRISTIE BRINKLEY’S DAUGHTER) FIRST SECOND GENERATION SI SWIMSUIT EDITION MODEL

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Christie Brinkley, 63, appeared in Sports Illustrated eight times between 1975 and 2004 and landed three consecutive SI Swimsuit Edition issue covers in 1979, 1980 and 1981 — a record at the time. And now her daughter, Sailor Brinkley-Cook is going to appear in the Swimsuit Edition, as a rookie, the first ever second generation model for the magazine. Sailor told People magazine earlier this year, “I grew up looking at these photos of my mom, never thinking that I would ever be able to do that. To be compared to my mother who has this extremely successful career under her belt when I’m just getting started? And to have people say I’m never going to have what she has or be what she is. I’m not trying to be her. But I’m fine. I don’t get hurt by this stuff… It was just such a surreal moment for me because I’ve looked up to all the SI models and my mom — they’ve always been my inspirations.” Sailor is headed to Aruba in October with the other 2018 Swimsuit Edition rookies.

She posted a picture of her first shoot on Instagram, saying, “I’ve spent the majority of my life fighting against myself and my body. I dont have double D boobs or a big butt. My legs arent miles long and when i sit my stomach has little rolls. I dont wear makeup. I feel most myself in sweatpants and nikes. I love to run and box and play sports and sweat. I’m never going to be as tall as a supermodel (unless i have a crazy growth spurt, that would be fun lol) I’m also never going to be short and petite or dainty and uber feminine. There are a lot of things i’ve been told i should be in my life. Theres also a lot of things i’ve been told i shouldn’t be in my life. But i’ve come to realize (and i know this sounds cheesy but arent all cheesy sayings super true?).. that the only thing I can be is the best version of myself. Whatever that might be. I’m here for ANY one who has ever cried in front of the mirror and thought what they saw wasn’t good enough. I’m here for any one struggling to love themselves. I’m here for the tomboy girls who have ever been told to act more “lady like”. I’m here for the women with small breasts who think they can’t feel sexy because of mainstream beauty ideals. I’m here for any one currently fighting or that have gotten past an eating disorder. I understand. I’m here for any one who’s wanted to give up on themselves but chose to keep going. My biggest hope is that i can positively represent anyone who identifies with these things… on the pages of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED!!! Thank you @mj_day and @si_swimsuit for giving me this opportunity and believing in me as an individual. I love you guys with my full whole heart!! Thank you mama @christiebrinkley for passing down your legacy, you open these doors for me but i promise to be gracious, grateful, kind and work twice as hard to keep those incredible doors open. Thank you to every single person who supports me i am SO beyond lucky. THANK U THANK U THANK U!!!!!! @ospedales IM A ROOKIE!!!!!!!! Gotta go to class now and try not to bounce off the walls lol (Also while i have your attention please go to the link in my bio and donate to hurricane relief!)”.

Yeah, we can see how it can be hard to be a 5’9, size 2, 122 lbs, blonde, white, daughter of a supermodel. Surely all girls can relate.





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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED KEEPS POSTING HOT AS FUCK BIKINI PICTURES FROM LOCATIONS RAVAGED BY THE HURRICANES, AND PEOPLE ARE CALLING VERY POOR FORM

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On Tuesday, Sports Illustration Swimsuit Edition posted pictures on its Instagram page of the Brooklyn Nets cheerleaders posing in bikinis in the Caribbean — which was slammed by hurricane Irma last week. Days before that, the Swimsuit Edition Instagram page posted topless shots of model Myla Dalbesio by a pool in Houston, which is recovering from hurricane Harvey. A commenter called the series of shots “incredibly shameless and inappropriate given the devastation in Texas and the Caribbean.” Sports Illustrated declined to comment. To be fair, Sports Illustrated did repost U.S. Virgin Islands native and former Sports Illustrated cover star Hannah Jeter’s plea for the people in the Virgin Islands affected by the hurricane: “People in the Virgin Islands are running out of fuel, water and food. People are dying!!! People are lost!!!! We are an afterthought and are not getting the help that we need!!! . . . This is an emergency!!!!!”. Though, clearly, people in the Virgin Islands are an afterthought in part cause Sports Illustrated has them thinking about tits, tits, and more tits, and not much else.





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SAMANTHA HOOPES GOES NAKED ON INSTAGRAM FOR BODY CONFIDENCE

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You might think that being a Sports Illustrated model would make you confident as fuck about your body. But Samantha Hoopes took to Instagram to say that just isn’t the case. She posted a naked black and white picture of herself, and said, “There’s something about a black & white picture that sets the mood… I am never open about things on IG but I feel like this is a platform to be used to help others… I may come off as a confident person but at the end of the day i’m so far from that… I am insecure, so hard on myself & I know other people are like that too ESP bc of instagram… I want to help others feel confident & strong we are much stronger than we think. I always try to tell myself that it’s not about what happened in your life it’s how you over come those obstacles & destroy them that makes you as a person Always remember what you see on IG isn’t necessarily real it’s only what people want you to see so let’s help each other in concurring own fears doubts & lift each other up”. We just don’t see how Samantha posting a naked picture of herself helps anybody else’s body confidence. But we like it.

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CHRISSY TEIGEN’S TALKING TITS VIDEO

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Chrissy Teigen is topless with her hands over her breasts, making them talk, in this Sports Illustrated behind the scenes video. Her tits apparently have a Southern accent. It really only goes to show that when Chrissy does wild and outrageous shit, it’s not likely cause she’s drunk, but because Chrissy is wild and crazy. Take for example, the talking tits…

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GYMNAST ALY RAISMAN TIGHT AND LIMBER FOR THE SWIMSUIT EDITION

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Two-time Olympian gymnast Aly Raisman, 22, is only 5’2″, so not exactly the stature of a model, not even a swimsuit model But she put her tight and limber body on display for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, in some erotic and suggestive poses. Most gymnasts aren’t that cute, and Aly was just barely pushing the cusp of fuckable girl-next-door, teetering on passable transsexual. But when you put anyone though a made-for-publication makeover, most will come out moderately decent on the other side. Aly sure as hell did, and upped her status a few points, to a solid 7 (up from a questionable 4, on a scale of 10). And her Sports Illustrated shoot puts her in a whole new category, of remotely desirable and certain chicken choking material.

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NINA AGDAL AS CLOSE TO NAKED AS POSSIBLE FOR THE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT EDITION

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Since 2012, Nina Agdal, 24, has been a regular in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. She returns again this year, and is working hard to top her prior appearances. Nina is topless but covered, and revealing at least areola in some of the skimpiest bikinis to grace the pages of the Swimsuit Edition. In one shot, she covers her breasts and vagina with only pom noms. In another, Nina’s vag is covered by a jeweled seashell-looking merkin. If her goal was to impress, we were impressed.

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HAS SPORTS ILLUSTRATED GONE MILF? MEET MILF ROOKIE BIANCA BALTI

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Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Rookie of the Year voting is open. Italian model Bianca Balti is the MILF of the group, married with two kids. “I just want to have a lot of kids. I don’t have a lot of interests besides cooking and making kids,” Bianca told SI. “At least four, but not in a hurry. I don’t want to be overworked. When they start to get their independence I will make another. I’m 32 and I just got in Sports Illustrated!” So maybe there’s a chance to step in and give Bianca those extra two. She’s also the cool mom, who’s comfortable that her kids have seen her nude pictures. Her oldest, 9-year-old Matilde has seen her nudes. Bianca said, “She’s already seen some of my naked pictures. I have no problem showing her nudity is totally fine. But the message she gets from these photos is that mommy works hard to give her the things she wants. I want to show them that they can do whatever they want.” With 63-year-old Christie Brinkley appearing in the Swimsuit Edition with her daughters, MILF seems to be a secondary theme of the issue. If Bianca is the the face of MILF, we’re good with that.

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Also in the non-traditional category, Biance has four tattoos: She has an M on her left ring finger that stands for “mama,” her husband, Matthew, and her daughters Matilde and Mia. She also has the word “cat” on her left arm, a toy soldier on her right arm and Pope Francis’s name under her breast because he is “almost like the hippie saint,” she said. In previewing Bianca, SI said, “Bianca got her start with modeling while in university, where she was studying web and graphic design, but her schoolwork didn’t hold her attention for long. ‘I was very naughty,’ Bianca told SI. ‘That’s the reason I didn’t go very much to the university, because I was partying with my friends more than going to the university. When I found this job [as a model], my mom was so relieved.’ Bianca has since settled down, moving to the suburbs of California, which remind her of her hometown of Lodi, Italy and allow her to enjoy a slower pace of life. ‘Now I just have a new perspective on life,’ she said. ‘No, I’m not naughty anymore, but I’m still crazy!'” We’d have preferred naughty, but crazy will do.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED REVEALS NEW ROOKIE VITA SIDORKINA

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Russian model Vitalina “Vita” Sidorkina, 22, is the newest Sports Illustrated rookie revealed for the upcoming Swimsuit Edition. About Vita, SI said, “You might recognize her from rocking the runway in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show or steaming up the pages of magazines in ads for Lilly Pulitzer, BCBG and Rebecca Minkoff, but there is more to Vita than meets the eye. The blue-eyed beauty grew up in Khabarovsk, a small town in Russia that’s just two hours from China by boat. She hasn’t been home in nearly five years, due partly to the frigid climate — the temperatures there can sink to nearly -30 degrees Fahrenheit! Not ideal weather for a Swimsuit model.” But if you’re thinking of trying to steal Vita away from her fiancee, according to her SI interview, she’s a bit of a high maintenance girl. She used to eat buttered bread with caviar before school every morning. “It might sound fancy, but…it’s something I’m used to, something that reminds me of my childhood.” We could only offer toast and a slice of Kraft cheese. So it isn’t happening for any of us.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED IS DROPPING SWIMSUIT EDITION ROOKIES ALL WEEK, MEET MYLA DALBESIO

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Myla Dalbesio is one of three rookies recently dropped by Sports Illustrated as part of its Rookie Week for the Swimsuit Edition. The first three were Kelly Gale, Lais Ribeiro, and Myla. She is not exactly a plus-sized model, but she is a size 8, which is outside the normal range. But the former Miss Wisconsin Teen USA did pose nude but covered for the first non-nude issue of Playboy for a spread called “How To Photograph A Woman.” This is what SI said about her: “Myla was born in Pennsylvania but grew up in Racine, Wisconsin, where she cultivated a love for cheese and brandy. ‘It sounds so cheesy to say this, because everyone says, oh, [you’re from] Wisconsin, you must love cheese! But I do love cheese,’ Myla told SI during her casting call. Her other loves include art, concerts, Real Housewives, camping (though she’s really bad with directions) and making her signature campfire-roasted breakfast burritos.” Not bad looking for a girl that loves cheese and burritos.

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NINA AGDAL FALLS SHORT OF SEXY BUT WE FORGIVE HER

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Nina Agdal, 24, recently shot with Sports Illustrated for its upcoming 2017 edition of the Swimsuit Edition. The Danish swimsuit model first appeared in Sports Illustrated in 2012. In parts of her new video with SI, Nina goes topless, but covered, and in parts topless in a see through mesh bikini top. It is not the best we’ve seen from Nina, but we are still committed to one of the hottest and most sought after models in the world. You can’t deny she’s got status, when she’s Leonardo DiCaprio’s new arm candy, cum dump, whatever you want to call it. You may not get the view that Leo gets, but when’s the last time you won an Academy Award?

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A LOOK BACK: HANNAH FERGUSON BEHIND THE SCENS NUDE BODY PAINT

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Sports Illustrated is preparing for the 2017 Swimsuit Edition. In December 2016, they released a behind-the-scenes interview with Hannah Ferguson about her nude body paint shoot for the 2016 issue. She said, “I was nervous because I’d never been that revealed on camera before. But it was a fun experience. I just embraced it, went with it and actually really had a fun time.” In talking about feeling naked, she said, “I think because everyone else thought I was wearing something, I felt like I was wearing something. Just a little mind game. But it was really cool. It looked so realistic.” Sports Illustrated also recently dropped a behind-the-scenes YouTube video with Hannah about the same body paint shoot from last year. It was definitely worth a look back.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED RELEASED NEW RONDA ROUSEY BODY PAINT PICTURES NOW THAT SHE’S BACK

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Ronda Rousey is back, set to fight for the UFC championship title she lost last year. Yawn. Nobody cares. To make this return more interesting, Sports Illustrated released nude body paint pictures of Ronda from earlier this year, that weren’t published with the original batch. Yawn. Next.

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FLIP CUP IS NOT THE SAME AS BUTT CUP FLIP

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When we heard Samantha Hoopes did a Flip Cup video for Sports Illustrated, we were all stoked and excited. That’s cause we were thinking Cup Flip, the butt challenge, though they are often used interchangeably. So we were of course sorely disappointed when we watched Samantha drink and flip cups with her hands for 44 seconds, hoping at some point she’d rest a cup on her ass and start popping it up in the air. But now we know. And we can only hope that Samantha next does the Cup Flip.

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