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THE AMY SCHUMER SPREAD EAGLE BIKINI SHOT THAT NO ONE WANTED BUT WE ARE FORCED TO LOOK AT ANYWAY

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Comedian Amy Schumer almost broke the Internet with her nasty ass vagina spread eagle bikini shot in celebration of National Bikini Day. It was of course intended to be funny. Amy wrote with the post, “National bikini day! #wherewasmyparisfashionweekinvite”. Not everyone got the joke. But Amy is used to the criticism, because, well, she shouldn’t be showcasing herself in a bikini and she knows it. Amy covered the May issue of InStyle in a white one-piece, and swimwear designer Dana Duggan wrote, “Come on now! You could not find anyone better for this cover? Not everyone should be in a swimsuit,” on Instagram, adding a vomit emoji. Amy is still making people vomit, in the name of comedy and body positivity.

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NICOLE SCHERZINGER DRUNKEN LESBIAN LOVE

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Ios, Greece is the party island, but that did not stop Nicole Scherzinger from making Mykonos, Greece her own drunken, lesbian party scene. The story on the former Pussycat Dolls lead singer is she was out with boyfriend Swiss soccer player Pajtim Kasami and company, but a night of drinking and dancing just can’t end without some tabletop pink panty spreads, and a little girl love from your equally inebriated friends. We don’t know how this night truly ended back at the hotel, but we can only imagine two outcomes, an all girl lesbian pillow fight leading to a full-on nude orgy, or Nicole in the bathroom puking her guts out, while her friends hold back her hair and reassure her that her career has not tanked that bad, and maybe the Pussycat Dolls will get back together for a movie, like the Spice Girls, and it will all be alright. We are so hoping it was pillow fight and orgy.

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