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PORN STAR CARMEN VALENTINA PROMISED THE ATLANTA FALCONS BLOWJOBS AND SEX TO LOSE, AND LOOKS LIKE IT WORKED

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Porn stars Carmen Valentina and Lauren Phillips promised all of their Twitter followers a blowjob if the Patriots won the SuperBowl. #TeamBJ. And when that was looking like it wasn’t going to happen, Carmen came to the rescue. She said on Twitter, “I will fuck every member of the #falcons if they decide to throw the game. My #patriots fans deserve BJs #teamBJ #SuperBowl” and “Dear #Falcons if you decide to lose #SuperBowl I will gladly suck your dick and put you first in line. Lets go #Patriots.” And then all of a sudden, it was like the Falcons had given up and were letting the Patriots score. We can only speculate cause they wanted to score too. Maybe. Maybe it’s just a conspiracy theory. Either way, Carmen and Lauren Twitter fans are guaranteed blowjobs if they want them. #TeamBJ promised to release details on Wednesday.

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PORN STARS CARMEN VALENTINA AND LARUEN PHILLIPS IN FOR A SERIOS CASE OF LOCK JAW, PROMISING BLOWJOBS TO FOLLOWERS IF PATRIOTS WIN SUPERBOWL

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According to the Las Vegas betting houses, the Atlantic Falcons are going to win the Super Bowl when they face the New England Patriots this Sunday. But that is far from certain. Porn stars Carmen Valentina and Lauren Phillips, however, are providing an incentive for Patriots fans to cheer for their team. As has become a sort of porn tradition, both porn stars have signed up for #TeamBJ, offering blowjobs to all of their followers on Twitter if the Patriots win. This is the 5th installment of #TeamBJ. About this recent iteration, Carmen Valentina said, “This is my first ever #TeamBJ so I have no idea what to expect. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I will be on the edge of my seat the entire game. I’d love to give Bill Belichick a BJ if the Patriots win … he hardly ever smiles.” Lauren Phillips added, “I asked Carmen if she wanted to give #TeamBJ a shot for the Superbowl. I really do have a fantasy of random twitter followers showing up to collect BJs. I honestly hope that Brady and the Patriots kick some ass this weekend. I’d love to inflate a lot of balls ….” To qualify, you must follow both Carmen and Lauren on Twitter (@LaurenFillsUp and @ClubCarmenXXX), the Patriots must win, and then they will post details on the blowjob train on TeamBJ.com, three days after that. Easy enough. So if you are in need of a blowjob, from a porn star, and you think the Patriots may beat the odds, then what have you got to lose? #TeamBJ has twice delivered.

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LISA ANN WANTS TO COOK DINNER FOR DENVER BRONCOS’ EMMANUEL SANDERS AND THEN WORK HER WAY THROUGH THE REST OF THE TEAM

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Porn star Lisa Ann made a promise back in August at the beginning of the NFL season, that she’d cook dinner for the team that wins the Super Bowl. Well, Denver won. (Sorry, Cam. No porn star pussy for you.) She recently let the Broncos players know that her offer still stands. She went on the “Morning Men with Evan and Babs” on SiriusXM 85 Mad Dog Sports Radio Monday and was asked which player she’d want to cook dinner for, to start. “No. 1 would be Emmanuel Sanders. I just love having him on my fantasy team. He’s a great player, he’s fun to watch. He’s a little bit of an entertainer, but not too far like Cam Newton. I’d say first it would be Emmanuel Sanders, then he would be my gateway for all the players I want to cook dinner for,” she said. Damn, a Broncos gangbang with Lisa Ann, maybe? We would pay to see that, but only if Peyton Manning was there. (We could have done without the Cam bashing, however. Not nice Lisa.)

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Lisa already has connections (she’s known for her liaisons with famous athletes, both professional and college), and she revealed that members of both the Broncos and Panthers FaceTimed her before the start of the game. “I got a FaceTime yesterday from the field right before the game from my friend who you remember, Jeff Heuerman, who got injured at the beginning of training camp and didn’t get to play this season. I can’t count him because he didn’t play, is that correct?” Lisa said. But she wasn’t revealing which Panther FaceTimed her. When asked, she said, “I got FaceTimed by both teams before the game started. I was pretty excited about that. I’m not telling you that! I kind of got in with that. I was really happy that I showered and looked decent when I got these FaceTimes.” We doubt we’ll get much information, or pictures, if the Lisa Ann Denver Broncos gangbang does go down, but guys, skip the trip to Disneyland, get your ass over Lisa’s house.

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BEYONCE KNOWLES SUPER BOWL RECAP

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Unless you were doing crystal meth in a whorehouse in Cambodia, which may have been more likely for some of us, you likely watched the Super Bowl, and watched that halftime show that was a lackluster show of mediocrity, even for a superstar like Beyonce. Where Beyonce did deliver, in our humble opinion, was in her attempt at kinky leather and fishnets, a bit domme and a bit pop diva, because too sexual and the damn FCC will be all down your ass (like they were Janet Jackson for livening up the show with a little nipple exposure). Beyonce especially deviled with the high kick crotch shots, if that sort of thing floats your boat. With just about anything Beyonce related, our boats are floated.

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WHAT THE FUCKENBERRY? VICTORIA’S SECRET ANGELS PLAYING FOOTBALL….IN FULL GEAR?

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There is something unholy and unnatural about Victoria’s Secret’s new Valentine’s Day campaign, which plays on the upcoming Super Bowl 50 hype, and puts it’s angels into full football gear and uniforms for a series of completely uninteresting plays and commentator dribble. What the fuck was someone thinking? Perhaps angels in lingerie playing football, like they do in the LFL. But what’s the point of watching a bunch of models pretend to play football poorly; it was almost as bad as Victoria’s Secret’s holiday campaign with angels signing off key. We are not amused. We got like .2 seconds of entertainment out of this at the end of the first video, once the helmets came off (though regrettably not much else). But, yeah, it was worth it.

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BOTH THE BRONCOS AND THE PANTHERS LOVE DEM SOME PORN!

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The Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers will go head to head this Sunday in Super Bowl 50 (the NFL dropped the Roman numerals this time around, cause 50 is L and Super Bowl L would have looked weird). But before then, Vocativ.com looked at the two teams from a perspective largely ignored by the sports pundits, by their porn preferences on Twitter, and these teams love them some porn! According to Vocativ.com, “We went through the accounts followed by every player and tallied up all the NSFW follows. Highlights include venerable purveyors of excellent content such as Ass Pics Depot, Sexual GIFs, and some others that we’d rather not print. We’re withholding the names of specific players because no one deserves to be shamed for indulging a harmless bit of online horniness …” The results? “[W]hile the Broncos have more players who follow various NSFW Twitter accounts [18 versus 6], the Panthers players who do so tend to follow such accounts in a far greater volume [55 versus 127].” Who are they following? You’ll have to look for yourself.

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LESS MEAT, MORE WOOD PETA COMMERCIAL BANNED

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PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is constantly looking for ways to convince the general public that eating animals is a bad thing, in spite of the fact that bacon is so good, along with just about every other animal food product out there today. It’s clearly a battle that PETA is losing, but they still promote the cause, with ever increasing clever new ways to grab the public’s attention. This time around, PETA’s gone porn, and got banned. Now PETA is displaying it’s banned Super Bowl commercial on YouTube, with a simple message, going vegan means you’ll last longer in bed. Less meat, more wood, as it were. PETA explained, “Vegans last longer. See the side by side proof here. Sleeping with someone who eats meat? There may be more than one disappointment in store. Eating the saturated fat and cholesterol in meat can increase the risk of developing heart disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol, and these can be dangerous to your love life. Why? Because they’re all common causes of erectile dysfunction. Plant-based foods keep blood flowing to all the body’s organs. The key to a hot love life and to lasting longer in the bedroom is to start with delicious vegan meals in the kitchen. Did you know that vegetarians are 32 percent less likely to develop heart disease than meat-eaters are and they have a lower risk of suffering from diseases such as cancer and diabetes?” But again, we say, bacon is so good.

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BEYONCE SUPER BOWL HALFTIME EROTIC PORN

Beyonce gave quite a performance for the halftime in yesterday’s NFL Super Bowl. For Destiny’s Child fans, there was a reunion on stage, as Michelle and Kelly made appearances. Jay-Z did not take the stage, however, which would have made for a better musical performance. But most people aren’t talking about the music today, they are talking about the wardrobe. No, there was no wardrobe malfunction. There was no need…. Beyonce wore (or didn’t wear, depending on your view) a skimpy, leather outfit, tight, black, with plenty of skin on display. It was probably the most erotic Superbowl performance of all time. Looks like Beyonce took Bonnie Raitt’s advice and gave us something to talk about…(thought it wasn’t love).


[Explicit Video: Nikki Sexx, Nikki Milkshake on Brazzers]








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KATHERINE WEBB COVERING SUPER BOWL XLVIII FOR INSIDE EDITION

Life is pretty good for Katherine Webb, who was able to parlay her crown as Miss Alabama and relationship with University of Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron — through a completely random ESPN announcers infatuation with her during the BCS Championship Game — into an upcoming Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue appearance and covering the Super Bowl for Inside Edition. She should be sending thank you letters to ESPN announcer Brent Musburger, who fawned over her during the game and made her an instant celebrity. Before the game, Katherine had only about 2,000 followers on Twitter. Now, she has over 270,000.


[Explicit Video: Amber Lynn, Friend’s Mom on Naughty America]




How does Katherine feel about her instant success? Well, according to her Twitter page, she’s just “[s]o excited to be chosen to cover the Super Bowl XLVII for @InsideEdition in New Orleans!” In her interview with SI.com, adding some color, she set herself as “The Anti-Kardashian” and took a pretty deep dig at the Kardashian clan. “I’m from Alabama and I have morals and I have class. That’s my personality.” She explained “a lot of America appreciated how classy I was, and I got a lot of responses saying I was America’s sweetheart and all that kind of stuff.” When SI.com pointed out Kim’s success, Katherine said “She made herself into who she is and that’s fine and all that. But I guess the way I want to go about all this is, I just want to have a positive image for myself.” Likely more to be heard on that front….

Well, all in all, life is good if you’re Katherine Webb. We probably won’t watch her coverage of the Super Bowl (and likely neither will you), but we will definitely look out for her appearance in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition….




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