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CHRISTIE BRINKLEY’S DAUGHTER SAILOR TOPLESS SHOOTING FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED

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Sailor Brinkley Cook, 19, is on location for Sports Illustrated‘s Swimsuit Edition. She shared some of her topless pictures on her Instagram page, one saying, “Viva Arruuuuuuba”. Sailor’s no Christie, but she didn’t fall far from the family tree.

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KATE UPTON BACK FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED, AND THE SPONGEBOB RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY

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Kate Upton’s glorious return to Sports Illustrated isn’t exactly glorious, but it is a return. The problem has never been with Kate’s weight, as most people thought, including us. We jumped on the Kate is fat bandwagon, prematurely. And we aren’t ashamed to admit when we are wrong. Kate is back proving that she’s not fat. She’s thinner than she’s ever been. The problem with Kate Upon is she has a SpongeBob SquarePants body. Fat had nothing to do with it. If you slapped a pair of big tits and a bikini on SpongeBob, we suspect he’d resemble a yellow Kate Upton. Now, if you take offense, or you are Kate Upton, well we don’t care. We love SpongeBob. So in a way it’s a compliment.

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SAILOR BRINKLEY COOK (CHRISTIE BRINKLEY’S DAUGHTER) FIRST SECOND GENERATION SI SWIMSUIT EDITION MODEL

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Christie Brinkley, 63, appeared in Sports Illustrated eight times between 1975 and 2004 and landed three consecutive SI Swimsuit Edition issue covers in 1979, 1980 and 1981 — a record at the time. And now her daughter, Sailor Brinkley-Cook is going to appear in the Swimsuit Edition, as a rookie, the first ever second generation model for the magazine. Sailor told People magazine earlier this year, “I grew up looking at these photos of my mom, never thinking that I would ever be able to do that. To be compared to my mother who has this extremely successful career under her belt when I’m just getting started? And to have people say I’m never going to have what she has or be what she is. I’m not trying to be her. But I’m fine. I don’t get hurt by this stuff… It was just such a surreal moment for me because I’ve looked up to all the SI models and my mom — they’ve always been my inspirations.” Sailor is headed to Aruba in October with the other 2018 Swimsuit Edition rookies.

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She posted a picture of her first shoot on Instagram, saying, “I’ve spent the majority of my life fighting against myself and my body. I dont have double D boobs or a big butt. My legs arent miles long and when i sit my stomach has little rolls. I dont wear makeup. I feel most myself in sweatpants and nikes. I love to run and box and play sports and sweat. I’m never going to be as tall as a supermodel (unless i have a crazy growth spurt, that would be fun lol) I’m also never going to be short and petite or dainty and uber feminine. There are a lot of things i’ve been told i should be in my life. Theres also a lot of things i’ve been told i shouldn’t be in my life. But i’ve come to realize (and i know this sounds cheesy but arent all cheesy sayings super true?).. that the only thing I can be is the best version of myself. Whatever that might be. I’m here for ANY one who has ever cried in front of the mirror and thought what they saw wasn’t good enough. I’m here for any one struggling to love themselves. I’m here for the tomboy girls who have ever been told to act more “lady like”. I’m here for the women with small breasts who think they can’t feel sexy because of mainstream beauty ideals. I’m here for any one currently fighting or that have gotten past an eating disorder. I understand. I’m here for any one who’s wanted to give up on themselves but chose to keep going. My biggest hope is that i can positively represent anyone who identifies with these things… on the pages of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED!!! Thank you @mj_day and @si_swimsuit for giving me this opportunity and believing in me as an individual. I love you guys with my full whole heart!! Thank you mama @christiebrinkley for passing down your legacy, you open these doors for me but i promise to be gracious, grateful, kind and work twice as hard to keep those incredible doors open. Thank you to every single person who supports me i am SO beyond lucky. THANK U THANK U THANK U!!!!!! @ospedales IM A ROOKIE!!!!!!!! Gotta go to class now and try not to bounce off the walls lol (Also while i have your attention please go to the link in my bio and donate to hurricane relief!)”.

Yeah, we can see how it can be hard to be a 5’9, size 2, 122 lbs, blonde, white, daughter of a supermodel. Surely all girls can relate.





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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED KEEPS POSTING HOT AS FUCK BIKINI PICTURES FROM LOCATIONS RAVAGED BY THE HURRICANES, AND PEOPLE ARE CALLING VERY POOR FORM

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On Tuesday, Sports Illustration Swimsuit Edition posted pictures on its Instagram page of the Brooklyn Nets cheerleaders posing in bikinis in the Caribbean — which was slammed by hurricane Irma last week. Days before that, the Swimsuit Edition Instagram page posted topless shots of model Myla Dalbesio by a pool in Houston, which is recovering from hurricane Harvey. A commenter called the series of shots “incredibly shameless and inappropriate given the devastation in Texas and the Caribbean.” Sports Illustrated declined to comment. To be fair, Sports Illustrated did repost U.S. Virgin Islands native and former Sports Illustrated cover star Hannah Jeter’s plea for the people in the Virgin Islands affected by the hurricane: “People in the Virgin Islands are running out of fuel, water and food. People are dying!!! People are lost!!!! We are an afterthought and are not getting the help that we need!!! . . . This is an emergency!!!!!”. Though, clearly, people in the Virgin Islands are an afterthought in part cause Sports Illustrated has them thinking about tits, tits, and more tits, and not much else.

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ASHLEY GRAHAM, LOTS OF ASS, LOT OF NIPPLES FOR THE SWIMSUIT EDITION

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Plus-sized model Ashley Graham, 28, continues to lead the modeling world as the big girl on the block. And she is big. She is a corn-feed big booty girl from Lincoln, Nebraska. And like Texas, things are bigger in Nebraska, especially those farm girls. Now, we don’t know if Ashley was raised on a farm, or whether there are many farms in Lincoln, which is a relatively large city. Whatever the case, Ashley returned to Sports Illustrated‘s Swimsuit Edition, along with another plus-sized model, Hunter McGrady, who is even larger. We’ll talk about Hunter more next week. But for today, it is all ass and nipples with Ashley.

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HANNAH FERGUSON BLOWS OUT HER SWIMSUIT EDITION SENIOR YEAR

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It would be an exaggeration to say that Hannah Ferguson is the reason why we return to Sports Illustrated‘s Swimsuit Edition every year, but not by much. The 24-year-old Texan is a four year veteran to the edition, and has made that shit count every year, including this year. Her thin and lanky frame is offset by her hugely disproportionate tits and ass. It’s what makes an exceptional bikini model. And, well, Texas. And if that weren’t enough, Hannah wasn’t afraid to put her assets on full display (see through nipple style) in a pretty revealing series.

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GYMNAST ALY RAISMAN TIGHT AND LIMBER FOR THE SWIMSUIT EDITION

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Two-time Olympian gymnast Aly Raisman, 22, is only 5’2″, so not exactly the stature of a model, not even a swimsuit model But she put her tight and limber body on display for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, in some erotic and suggestive poses. Most gymnasts aren’t that cute, and Aly was just barely pushing the cusp of fuckable girl-next-door, teetering on passable transsexual. But when you put anyone though a made-for-publication makeover, most will come out moderately decent on the other side. Aly sure as hell did, and upped her status a few points, to a solid 7 (up from a questionable 4, on a scale of 10). And her Sports Illustrated shoot puts her in a whole new category, of remotely desirable and certain chicken choking material.

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NINA AGDAL AS CLOSE TO NAKED AS POSSIBLE FOR THE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT EDITION

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Since 2012, Nina Agdal, 24, has been a regular in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. She returns again this year, and is working hard to top her prior appearances. Nina is topless but covered, and revealing at least areola in some of the skimpiest bikinis to grace the pages of the Swimsuit Edition. In one shot, she covers her breasts and vagina with only pom noms. In another, Nina’s vag is covered by a jeweled seashell-looking merkin. If her goal was to impress, we were impressed.

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HAS SPORTS ILLUSTRATED GONE MILF? MEET MILF ROOKIE BIANCA BALTI

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Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Rookie of the Year voting is open. Italian model Bianca Balti is the MILF of the group, married with two kids. “I just want to have a lot of kids. I don’t have a lot of interests besides cooking and making kids,” Bianca told SI. “At least four, but not in a hurry. I don’t want to be overworked. When they start to get their independence I will make another. I’m 32 and I just got in Sports Illustrated!” So maybe there’s a chance to step in and give Bianca those extra two. She’s also the cool mom, who’s comfortable that her kids have seen her nude pictures. Her oldest, 9-year-old Matilde has seen her nudes. Bianca said, “She’s already seen some of my naked pictures. I have no problem showing her nudity is totally fine. But the message she gets from these photos is that mommy works hard to give her the things she wants. I want to show them that they can do whatever they want.” With 63-year-old Christie Brinkley appearing in the Swimsuit Edition with her daughters, MILF seems to be a secondary theme of the issue. If Bianca is the the face of MILF, we’re good with that.

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Also in the non-traditional category, Biance has four tattoos: She has an M on her left ring finger that stands for “mama,” her husband, Matthew, and her daughters Matilde and Mia. She also has the word “cat” on her left arm, a toy soldier on her right arm and Pope Francis’s name under her breast because he is “almost like the hippie saint,” she said. In previewing Bianca, SI said, “Bianca got her start with modeling while in university, where she was studying web and graphic design, but her schoolwork didn’t hold her attention for long. ‘I was very naughty,’ Bianca told SI. ‘That’s the reason I didn’t go very much to the university, because I was partying with my friends more than going to the university. When I found this job [as a model], my mom was so relieved.’ Bianca has since settled down, moving to the suburbs of California, which remind her of her hometown of Lodi, Italy and allow her to enjoy a slower pace of life. ‘Now I just have a new perspective on life,’ she said. ‘No, I’m not naughty anymore, but I’m still crazy!'” We’d have preferred naughty, but crazy will do.

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CHRISTIE BRINKLEY STILL CAUSING STIFFIES AT 63, ESPECIALLY WITH HER TWO DAUGHTERS

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We suspect there was a lot of Photoshopping going on in this picture, but 63-year-old supermodel Christie Brinkley put her bikini back on for Sports Illustrated‘s Swimsuit Edition and did it with her two super hot daughters. To put this in perspective, the Chicago Bulls pulled off their first three-peat, winning the NBA Championship, back in 1991, 1992 and 1993. And that was forever and a day ago. Christie Brinkley pulled off her three-peat, appearing on the cover of the Swimsuit Edition, way the fuck back in 1979, 1980 and 1981. So, yeah, perspective. This time around, she appears in the Swimsuit Edition with her daughters, Sailor Brinkley Cook, 18, and Alexa Ray Joel, 31. Christie said, “This is a real full circle moment for me. I can get very emotional about this. How many years ago, I was that insecure girl hoping that I would be good enough for the magazine. So to see my daughters now having the same thoughts I had, and to be able to see them actually be there on the job, was definitely a big moment. I couldn’t even believe my ears when I got the call that MJ wanted to shoot my daughters and me. I was thrilled.” We were definitely thrilled with Christie (even if Photoshopped all to hell) and Sailor, who is definitely following in her mother’s footsteps. Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED IS DROPPING SWIMSUIT EDITION ROOKIES ALL WEEK, MEET MYLA DALBESIO

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Myla Dalbesio is one of three rookies recently dropped by Sports Illustrated as part of its Rookie Week for the Swimsuit Edition. The first three were Kelly Gale, Lais Ribeiro, and Myla. She is not exactly a plus-sized model, but she is a size 8, which is outside the normal range. But the former Miss Wisconsin Teen USA did pose nude but covered for the first non-nude issue of Playboy for a spread called “How To Photograph A Woman.” This is what SI said about her: “Myla was born in Pennsylvania but grew up in Racine, Wisconsin, where she cultivated a love for cheese and brandy. ‘It sounds so cheesy to say this, because everyone says, oh, [you’re from] Wisconsin, you must love cheese! But I do love cheese,’ Myla told SI during her casting call. Her other loves include art, concerts, Real Housewives, camping (though she’s really bad with directions) and making her signature campfire-roasted breakfast burritos.” Not bad looking for a girl that loves cheese and burritos.

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TSANNA LATOUCHE MAKES AGENT PROVOCATEUR RELEVANT AGAIN

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Tsanna Larouche tried but was denied Sports Illustrated’s 2016 Swimsuit Issue, wrongly denied in our opinion. The Ontario, Canada native, who now lives in London, is 26 and has been in the business for six year. She walked the runway for Kanye West’s fashion show, notable, but not really an accomplishment. For her SI application, she was quote as saying, “I feel sexiest when I buy new lingerie.” And she looks sexiest in new lingerie too. She did a solid for Agent Provocateur, cause she definitely caught our attention where we feel Agent Provocateur may be slipping in its cutting edge reputation. Tsanna was not one of those slips.

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CHERYL TIEGS IS CALLING BULLSHIT ON BODY POSITIVE, FAT SWIMSUIT MODELS

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Cheryl Tiegs, 68, has been featured on Sports Illustrated’s covers multiple times (some time ago now), and she’s not happy about this “body positive” movement, in particular that plus-sized model Ashley Graham is on one of the covers of the swimsuit Edition. She said recently, when asked about the cover at the 13th Annual Global Green USA Pre-Oscar Party, “I don’t like that we’re talking about full-figured women because it’s glamorizing them because your waist should be smaller than 35 [inches]. That’s what Dr. Oz said, and I’m sticking to it. No, I don’t think it’s healthy. Her face is beautiful. Beautiful. But I don’t think it’s healthy in the long run.” Well, cause Dr. Oz said it…

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NICOLE ARBOUR IS TALKING ABOUT FAT PEOPLE AGAIN, THIS TIME SPORTS ILLUSTRATED MODEL ASHLEY GRAHAM

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Since comedian and YouTube celebrity Nicole Arbour got famous from fat shaming fat people, it only seems right that she’s back again talking about fat people. This time around, it’s Ashley Graham, the plus-sized swimsuit model in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. The basic message is clear, fat models are basically hypocrites, because they are so body positive but Photoshop their pictures and could lose weight but stay fat so they can be plus-sized models. We can’t say we disagree.

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GIGI HADID TOOK IT THERE, AND WE’RE HAPPY TO FOLLOW

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Gigi Hadid’s recent body suit turned heads at the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit launch party in New York. The hot black jumpsuit shows about as much skin as it covers, as Gigi lit up the red carpet. It looks like the Swimsuit Edition models are all out looking to one up each other as they appear for SI events. This is why socialism don’t work. Free market competition is a good thing, leading to good results. Gigi Hadid, half-nude for example.

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SAMANTHA HOOPES ASS AND PANTIES OUT IN NEW YORK

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Samantha Hoopes in back from the Dominican Republic and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition shoot, but hasn’t yet adjusted to being in clothes, it seems. She was in New York for more SI Swimsuit Edition promotions, and found getting in and out of her car difficult, or at least a difficult prospect without flashing her panties and ass to the world. Much like her Swimsuit Edition spread, we loved these hot shots of Samantha, which were a little less scripted.

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